The Man Next Door
by RobzBeanie
Summary: ** COMPLETE ** When Edward Cullen is released from prison, 18-year-old Bella becomes fascinated by her new next door neighbor. But is this strong young woman strong enough to handle his past? ** MAY TO DECEMBER ROMANCE CONTEST ENTRY ** #2 in Top Ten Completed Fics for Sep 2015 on TwiFanfictionRecs ** #7 in Top Ten Completed Fics for ALL of 2015 on TwiFanfictionRecs **
1. The One-Shot

Contest entry for the May to December Romance Contest

**Title**: The Man Next Door

**Name**: RobzBeanie  
**Rating**: M  
**Beta(s)**: moosals  
**Summary**: When Edward Cullen is released from prison, 18-year-old Bella becomes fascinated by her new next door neighbor.

**Disclaimer**: The author does not own any publicly recognizable characters herein. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

I hear the chatter the moment I sit down at my desk for my first period Calculus class. Edward Cullen is being released from the state prison in Walla Walla today, after 18 years on death row for the rape and murder of 16-year-old Bree Tanner. Despite the fact that DNA evidence now points to another man, some people in and around Forks still believe Edward is guilty. The case is dividing our tiny Washington town; it's the biggest thing to hit Forks since the murder itself.

At the time of his arrest, Edward Cullen was the town's golden boy, the son of a prominent surgeon and interior designer. He had recently graduated from Forks High School near the top of his class, making State in both basketball and track.

Bree Tanner's mutilated body was found one night in mid-July in the forest near the Sol Duc River, which ran through the back of the Cullens' property. After an anonymous caller called in a tip to 9-1-1, the police found the body and only one real shred of evidence: a footprint in Bree's blood.

With the Cullens' home the closest to where the body was found, Edward and his parents were interviewed by the police and their property was searched for potential evidence. Not only did the pair of Edward's Nikes that were found in their trash have blood on the soles, they also matched the footprint at the scene.

After the discovery, Edward admitted that he had found the body and called in the 9-1-1 report, but he swore he had nothing to do with the crime. The police didn't believe him, and neither did a jury nine months later, despite the Cullens being able to afford the best lawyers for their son.

Shortly after his conviction and death sentence, Edward's parents sold their large contemporary home and moved to Seattle. His father, Carlisle, went back to medical school to get a second specialty in forensics, while his mother, Esme, went to law school, with the sole aim of freeing her son.

* * *

The chatter is heating up when I enter the cafeteria a few hours later. _Everyone_ is talking about it.

"Hey, Bella," Eric says as soon as I sit down at the lunch table, "Don't the Cullens live next door to you?"

"Uh, yeah, they do."

For as long as I can remember, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen have lived next door to my father and me. They're nice people, though they keep to themselves most of the time. They moved back to Forks a few years after the murder — into a much smaller middle class home — where they could keep in touch with the detectives who investigated the case. While working to clear her son, Mrs. Cullen took on several mostly pro-bono cases. Due to his son's conviction, patients were uncomfortable with Dr. Cullen, so he took a lesser paying job in the hospital's lab.

Someone at the table has today's newspaper, with Edward's old mug shot on the front page. I glance at it, and then do a double take. My God, he was beautiful as a teenager. How could anyone believe that someone so _pretty_ could commit such a heinous crime?

Even the boys notice that Edward was good-looking. More than one makes the comment that someone that young and pretty probably became Bubba's bitch. I frown, hoping that's not the case.

After many years, Edward's parents' efforts got the attention of the Innocence Project, and they worked to go back over every piece of evidence in the case. When long-forgotten DNA evidence was discovered, they worked tirelessly to convince Clallam County to use today's advanced DNA testing to try to exonerate him — or confirm Edward's guilt.

As it turned out, every shred of DNA found on the body pointed to one man: James Hunter. He was already serving a life sentence without parole after pleading guilty to another rape and murder near Spokane. He'd been a nomad, a drifter who hitchhiked around the state, camping in various state parks.

Even faced with this new evidence, it still took months to convince the State to drop all charges against Edward Cullen.

And now the day has finally come for him to be released. The issue on everyone's mind — will his parents bring him back here to Forks?

* * *

When I get home from school, I pull my 1950s era Chevy truck into our driveway, parking on the right side, as I always do, to leave room for my father's police cruiser. Just as I move to open the door, I see _him_.

The Cullens' driveway is adjacent to ours. Besides the main entry on the front porch, their home has a side door, which opens onto a tiny two-foot by two-foot porch with steps down to the driveway. Sitting hunched over on this porch, a cigarette in his hand, is none other than Edward Cullen.

I recognize him right away from the unusual shade of reddish-brown, almost _bronze_ hair, just like in the mug shot, though his hair is significantly shorter now than in the old photo. He's wearing faded jeans and a black leather jacket.

I open the door, keeping one eye on him as I step down from my truck. When I slam the heavy metal door closed, he looks up as if startled, staring straight at me.

And I'm powerless to keep from staring back. The last 18 years have done nothing to diminish Edward's looks. In fact, if it's possible, he looks even better now, more… manly.

Hitching my book bag up onto my shoulder, I cross the driveway, stopping in front of Edward. He gazes up at me, not speaking.

"Um, hi," I begin nervously. "I'm Bella. I, um, live here… um, next door." I point lamely toward my house.

He brings his cigarette to his lips and inhales deeply. Good lord, but he has pretty lips. He exhales a cloud of smoke, then looks up at me again. Still staring. Standing so close to him, I notice that his eyes are an unusual shade of blue-green.

"Your, um… Your mom won't let you smoke inside?" I guess. I can't stand cigarette smoke myself.

He just continues to stare at me, not speaking, and I start to feel really, really stupid just standing there looking down at him.

"Um, bye," I call stupidly, hurrying across both driveways to our front sidewalk.

* * *

"Hey, Dad," I ask later that night as we're sitting at the dinner table, "Were you on the police force when Edward Cullen was arrested?"

He sets his beer can down, stroking his moustache. "Yeah, I was, but I was just two months out of the police academy. I did patrols around town and had nothing to do with the homicide investigation. Why do you ask?"

"Just curious," I try to appear nonchalant. "I, um, I saw him today. When I got home from school."

"I saw him too," Dad says, "Outside smoking a cigarette. You should stay away from him, Bells. Even if he's truly innocent, there's no telling what 18 years in prison did to his mental state."

I nod for my father's sake, then pick up my glass and take a sip. I know he's just being protective, because he taught me not to judge people without good reason. Edward _is_ innocent, so I have no intention of staying away from him… unless he tells me to.

Later, as I'm washing the dishes, I move the curtain aside and peek out the kitchen window, which faces the Cullens' house. He's still there, huddled in the same position on the porch.

* * *

The next morning, I try waving to Edward when I see him on the porch, but I get no response.

When I arrive home after school, three police cars are parked in the street, and my dad's is in the driveway. I also see a van parked in front of the Cullens' house, which I recognize as being one of the Seattle network affiliate TV stations. Several people are standing around on the Cullens' driveway.

I pull in next to my dad's cruiser, watching the scene with interest.

"Bells," my dad calls from the edge of their yard as soon as I step out of the truck, "Go in the house."

I frown at being ordered around like a child, but I turn toward the front porch, not wanting to make a scene.

"Miss!" I hear a female voice shout. "Miss!"

I turn around, noticing a woman with a microphone walking over to me. "Miss, how do you feel about living next door to Edward Cullen? Are you afraid?"

My brow furrows. "Why should I be afraid of an innocent man?"

"Bells, go inside," my dad yells again. Sighing, I walk up the steps and unlock the front door. I rush into the kitchen, not even stopping to take my jacket off, and peek out the window at the chaos. The window is old and it sticks or I'd totally try to open it so I can eavesdrop.

Of course Edward's release after 18 years is big news. It's not surprising that the Seattle TV stations are interested; it's probably more surprising that only one of them is here. It seems like a larger crowd of people than would've come in the van, so I wonder if some of them are newspaper reporters.

After 20 minutes or so, I get bored with watching nothing happening out there, so I move to the kitchen table and start doing homework. My dad finally comes inside after another couple of hours, looking exhausted.

"Did they leave?" I ask curiously.

"Yeah," he sighs, "After the Cullens agreed to an interview." My eyes widen — does that include Edward? "Do you want to start dinner?"

"Uh, yeah, sure." I'm already plotting though.

Later that night, I finish my homework upstairs until my dad goes to bed. Then, I sneak downstairs and turn the TV on, just in time for the late news. Sure enough, Edward's release is the top story. I turn the volume up as loud as I dare.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen," the interviewer begins, the camera on Edward's parents, "How does it feel to finally have your son home?"

"It's the happiest day of my life," Esme Cullen begins. "Happier even than the day Edward was born. We've worked for over 18 years to clear his name, and to finally be successful, it's just—"

She stops, getting too emotional, and Carlisle Cullen pats his wife's hand. "We're only sorry that we couldn't make this happen years ago."

"What do you have to say to the prosecutors and jurors who helped put your son behind bars?"

He sighs, removing his glasses to rub his eye. "I know the Lord teaches us to forgive, but I'd really like for anyone who thought Edward was capable of committing such a crime to experience even for one day what it's like to be locked up in a tiny cell surrounded by vicious criminals."

"And you, Edward? What do you think about all of this?"

The camera pans over to where Edward sits next to his mother; he's staring down at his lap. He has what looks like a stress ball in his right hand, while his left hand shakes uncontrollably. I see his Adam's apple move as he swallows, before he looks up at the camera. "I keep thinking I'm going to wake up in my cell and find out that all of this is a dream," he says quietly.

"It's real, Edward," his mother says passionately, her hand squeezing his forearm.

"What are your plans now that you're out of prison?"

He stares at the interviewer in what looks an awful lot like disbelief. "I think… right now I just need to get used to this world I've come home to."

"Any last thoughts from any of you?" she asks.

"I'd just like to let everyone in Forks know that there is no danger from Edward being home," his father begins. "Edward is innocent. The right man is already behind bars. It's time for all of us to move on and heal."

When the interview ends, I turn off the TV, creeping back upstairs to my room and crawling into bed. I can't get that image of Edward sitting there, shaking and looking so incredibly _lost_, out of my head.

* * *

When I leave for school the next day, Edward is in his usual place on the porch, smoking. I don't try to wave this time though. At school, the chatter is even louder than it was on Monday. "Did you guys see that interview with the Cullens?" Mike begins as we sit at the lunch table.

"What was _up_ with him?" Eric asks. "He was all shaky and weird."

"Withdrawals," Jessica answers, taking a bite of her apple. She chews then looks up at us all staring at her. "What?" she shrugs. "My dad would shake like that when he first quit drinking a few years ago."

"Figures he'd be on drugs," Tyler scoffs.

"He was in prison, you dumbass!" his girlfriend, Lauren, says, smacking the back of his head.

"There are drugs in prison, babe," he insists.

"It's not drugs," I speak up before I can stop myself. "It was probably nicotine withdrawal. I've seen Edward outside a few times since he came home, and he's always smoking," I explain. "He'd been inside for a while before the interview, so he was probably just craving a cigarette."

"Have you talked to him?" Tyler asks eagerly.

"I… I introduced myself the first day… you know, as his next door neighbor. He's pretty quiet though." I almost chuckle at the understatement, given that the man hasn't said a word to me.

"I hope you keep your doors and windows locked," Lauren suggests.

"The evidence proved that Edward is innocent. He's not a threat to me or anybody else," I reply angrily. Why can't everyone see what I see?

* * *

Every single time I leave or arrive home for the rest of the week, Edward is sitting out on that porch smoking, rain or shine. I don't try to engage him again. And now it's Sunday afternoon, and I'm baking chocolate chip cookies for my best friend Angela's birthday tomorrow. I know it's more traditional to bake a cake, but cookies are much easier to take to school.

I'm cleaning up while the last pan cools, when I get the urge to lift the curtain and peek outside. Edward is sitting on the porch again. Or still — I'm not sure if he _ever_ goes inside. My dad said he was out there late Thursday night when he put the trash out, too.

I start putting the cookies into a tin for Angela, then stop when I get an idea. I pull out a small plastic bag and add a half dozen cookies to it. Grabbing my coat, I step outside, marching over toward Edward.

He looks up at my arrival and I hold the bag out to him. "Um, I was making cookies for my friend. I thought you might like some."

He stares at me for a moment, before snatching the bag out of my hand. I stand watching as he pops the first cookie into his mouth whole. I mean, I know they're small, but… I take two or three bites to eat one.

My eyes widen as he does the same thing with the second cookie, and the third… until the entire bag is gone. I must look comical the way I'm staring down at him, wide-eyed.

"Thanks," he finally replies, in a voice that seems hoarse from lack of use.

"Uh, you're welcome." I remain standing there, fidgeting, as I wonder whether I should try to engage him or just go back inside.

"Been a long time since I've had a treat like this," he says quietly.

I'm too shocked to speak for a moment — _Edward_ is actually keeping the conversation going?

"Didn't your mom make you a 'Welcome Home' cake or something?" I ask.

"She did," he replies with a nod. He pulls his pack of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket, lighting up another, and I watch him, oddly fascinated with the whole process.

He's sitting toward the far right side of the porch, not in the center. There's enough room for me to sit beside him, so I take the chance and do it. Edward looks over at me out of the corner of his eye, but he doesn't tell me to move.

"So your mom doesn't like you smoking in the house?" I try asking again, trying _not_ to stare at his perfect profile.

"I can smoke out my bedroom window."

"You're always outside though."

"I like to be outside," he says quietly. "For a long time, I thought I'd never see the outside of the prison walls again. I don't want to be cooped up indoors."

I nod quietly; his explanation makes perfect sense to me. "So, um, what do you plan to do now?"

"Do?" he asks, turning to face me.

"Yeah, with your life," I reply. "Like… for a job and stuff."

"I have no fucking idea." He takes another drag on his cigarette, blowing the smoke out away from me, which I'm grateful for.

"What, um, what were you planning to do be-before you were arrested?" I cringe as soon as the words are out of my mouth, wondering if he doesn't want any reminders of what happened.

"I'd been accepted at U-Dub. Pre-med," he adds. "I planned to follow in my father's footsteps."

"You can still do that," I encourage him. He must've been very smart to be planning to go to medical school.

Edward whips his head around to face me, looking at me like I've got two heads. "Yeah, right, I'd be fucking 50 years old before I'm a real doctor." He shakes his head, tilting it back to stare at the sky.

Before I have time to overthink it, I reach over, placing my hand on Edward's arm. In a flash, he's up and off the porch, standing several feet away and facing me.

"S-sorry," I mumble. "I didn't mean to startle you."

It's _my_ chance to be startled when the door suddenly opens behind me. "Edward, it's — Oh, hello, Bella."

I quickly stand up, brushing off my jeans as I turn to face Esme Cullen. "H-hi, Mrs. Cullen. Um, I was just… just bringing some of my fresh baked cookies for Edward."

Her eyes narrow as she gazes back at me. "That's very nice of you, dear. Edward, dinner is ready."

He lets out a breath, running his hand through his short hair. "Ok."

His mother disappears inside, leaving the door cracked, and I turn back to Edward. "Hope I didn't just make you spoil your dinner."

He gives me a crooked smile in return, tossing his cigarette away and leaving at least two feet between us as he walks back toward the porch. When the door closes behind him, I sigh, heading back to my own house — more fascinated with him than ever.

That was the first night I dreamed of Edward Cullen.

* * *

The following Friday night, the whole gang is at First Beach for Angela's 18th birthday party, just a few days late. It's only April so the weather is still cool, but someone from the nearby Quileute reservation has started a bonfire. I spend most of my time making s'mores over the fire for everyone until someone's older brother shows up with a keg and various types of liquor.

I'm handed a mixed drink and I shudder at the burn as it goes down. I really don't drink much, but tonight I need it. Ever since last Sunday, I can't stop thinking about Edward Cullen. I tell myself that I just want to… I don't know, comfort him? He seems like a lost puppy in a way, after 18 years behind bars.

I tried waving to him on Monday morning, in recognition of our conversation the previous day, but he didn't acknowledge me. I don't know why I expected him to.

I'm not a huge fan of beer, but when my first drink is empty, I accept the red plastic cup that Mike hands to me, before sitting down beside me.

"Um, so… would you like to go to prom with me?" he asks hesitantly.

I sigh. Mike is a good-looking enough guy, a star baseball player at Forks High. He has been asking me out since freshman year, and I've turned him down every single time. I've never attended any high school dances, though I've been asked before. None of the boys in my school do anything for me; never have, never will.

I imagine briefly what it would be like to attend my prom with Edward, to dance the night away in his arms.

And then I realize what a fucking idiot I am. That is _never_ going to happen.

"Come on, Bella," Mike persists. "How about it?"

"Just as friends?" I ask, turning to face him.

His face falls, and I feel bad for a moment, but I can't help how I feel, or don't feel, about him. "Just as friends," he finally agrees.

Hours later, designated driver Tyler drives everyone home from the beach in his van. He drops me off in front of the house and I stumble my way toward the front door, thankful that my dad has a night shift tonight so I don't have to be extra quiet.

Out of habit, I glance over toward the Cullens' and see Edward outside in his usual spot, the cherry from his cigarette glowing in the darkness. It must be two in the morning — doesn't he _ever_ sleep?

I put the key in the lock and turn, but it won't budge. I pull on the handle, twisting the key over and over, but nothing is happening. I'm drunk and tired and getting very frustrated. I may let out a few curse words under my breath.

"Problem?"

I nearly jump out of my skin, spinning around so quickly I almost fall over. Edward Cullen is standing on my porch. On. My. Porch.

I open my mouth to speak, but can't form words.

"Is something wrong, Bella?" he repeats.

"I… I can't get the door open."

I swallow thickly as he takes two large steps toward me. We've never stood this close to each other before, and I'm shocked at just how _tall_ he is.

"Step aside."

"Oh, right." I take one large step to my left, watching Edward as he places his hand on the doorknob, trying to turn it. He jiggles it a few times, then pulls the key out of the lock. He tries it again, and in one turn, the door swings open.

"How did you—?"

"You had the key in upside down." He stands out of the way, his arm extended as if to say "go on in."

I feel my face flaming hot… I must be really, really drunk. "Thank you," I whisper, beyond embarrassed. I hurry inside, mumbling, "Goodnight," to Edward before closing the door.

* * *

The next Friday, Angela and I drive to Port Angeles together after school to pick out prom dresses. She's going with her longtime boyfriend, Ben Cheney. I look through all of the racks before choosing a sleeveless, v-neck dress with a metallic bronze floral pattern. The color reminds me of Edward's hair, though I'd rather die than tell anyone that.

And once again, I find myself irrationally wishing that _he_ could be my prom date instead of Mike. But I doubt Edward is harboring any schoolgirl fantasies, not that I'd dare ask him. I don't enjoy disappointment.

Light rain is falling when Angela drops me back at my truck in the high school parking lot. Minutes later, I pull into our driveway, early enough to still get dinner on the table for my father. I lift the gown in its long plastic bag, carrying it over my arm as I hop down from the truck. I don't have an umbrella with me so I rush onto the porch.

Unable to help myself, I glance toward the Cullens' house, seeing Edward watching me curiously. A small awning covers the porch, though his legs must still be getting wet as he sits there smoking. For the first time, something about his stare unnerves me, but I wave to him before opening the door.

He doesn't wave back. But then, he never does.

* * *

When Mike comes to pick me up for prom eight days later, I invite him inside to meet my father. My mother has lived in Phoenix since the divorce when I was two, and she's been begging for pictures from prom, but I refuse to let my dad take any of the two of us. Mike may be my prom date, but he's _not_ my boyfriend. I don't need to memorialize this night for eternity.

As Mike leads me out to his old gray Honda, Edward is in his usual spot, his eyes trained on us. Mike holds the car door open, closing it behind me, then goes around to the driver's side.

"Dude, he is _creepy_," he says the moment he's closed the door. "Tyler said he was out there when he drove you home a couple weeks back, too."

"He doesn't like to be inside," I relay Edward's explanation from weeks ago. "Not after he was locked up for so long."

"Still, the way he's just… watching us." He shudders, backing out of the driveway.

Prom is held in the school gymnasium, which is decorated in an underwater theme. Mike and I hang out with our friends, drinking punch — which amazingly doesn't taste spiked. I dance a couple of faster dances with the entire group, resisting Mike's efforts to try to get me to dance one of the slower ones with him.

The after party is being held at Eric's house, since his parents are conveniently out of town for his older brother's college graduation. After the hangover I had two weeks ago, I'm really not interested in drinking with the gang, so I just stick to Pepsi.

Mike, on the other hand, _is_ drinking. We're seated on one of the basement couches together, watching a chugging contest between two football players, when he tries to put his arm around me. I scoot away, gently removing it.

After a half hour of fending off Mike's advances, I've had enough. "Mike, we aren't dating. We came as friends, so cut it out."

"You're no fun, Bella," he whines.

I shake my head, huffing out a sigh. "I'm leaving."

I climb the stairs, squeezing through the throngs of people upstairs until I finally make it outside. I don't have a jacket with me, since I really hadn't planned on spending any time outside, but my house is only about three blocks from here.

I rarely wear heels of any kind, but my dress is pretty long, so I'm wearing the strappy black sandals with 3 ½" spike heels that I bought two years ago for my mom's wedding. Even still, I lift up the bottom hem of my dress, carrying it as I walk home.

I'm perhaps a block from my house when my left heel gets stuck in a crack in the sidewalk. I'm thrown wildly off balance, landing with a thud on my hands and knees. I remain on the ground, stunned, for several moments before I start taking inventory.

Both palms are skinned, the left one far worse than the right. My beautiful dress is torn near the bottom and as I lift it up, I see I've skinned my knees, too — like I'm eight years old instead of 18. Oh yeah, and the heel has broken off my shoe.

I angrily yank the broken part of my heel out of the crack then try to stand up, fighting back tears. I don't know what hurts worse — my pride, my knees or my hands. I take a few tentative steps, feeling ridiculous as I hobble with one heel and one flat shoe, but I really don't feel like going barefoot.

It's only one block, I tell myself as I hobble along. One block. I round the corner, breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of my house just up ahead. Just a short walk to go.

Finally, I reach the driveway, limping along the left side of my truck. Just as I turn onto the sidewalk leading to the porch, I hear footsteps moving quickly toward me. I panic for a moment, trying to get my keys out of my purse — along with my pepper spray.

"Jesus, Bella, what happened?"

At the sound of Edward's voice, I instantly calm down, turning around to face him. "I… I fell. I broke my heel."

"Why were you walking home alone? Why didn't your date drive you?" he asks.

"Um… we were at an after party and he got a bit… handsy, so I left," I finish with a shrug. "It was only three blocks."

Edward stares at me, his breaths seeming to come faster. "Did he hurt you?" he asks in a low, serious voice.

"What? No! No, he… he just kept trying to put his arm around me. Handsy, like I said."

Edward tears at his hair, still breathing quite heavily, then turns around so that his back is to me. I have no idea what his deal is — I'm _fine_ — so I reach out, lightly touching his back. He spins around so quickly that he nearly knocks me over, given how unsteady on my feet I already am.

My brow furrows as I gaze back at him. "I'm fine, Edward," I assure him. "I mean, I broke my heel and tore my dress, but…" He doesn't speak, just stares at me, and I start to feel a little uncomfortable under his scrutiny.

"Um, I also scraped up my hands and knees, so… I'm gonna go inside and take care of that. Goodnight." I nod at him, then hobble my way toward the porch.

"Bella?" he calls softly, and I stop, turning around to face Edward. "You look beautiful tonight."

I smile shyly, feeling myself blushing, as I turn and climb the steps to the porch.

Inside, I remove my shoes, wondering if I should try to get them repaired or just toss them. I'm alone, since my dad has another night shift. He _always_ has the night shift on prom night, thanks to the extra patrols.

I climb the stairs barefoot, then quickly get undressed. Once I'm in my pajamas, I head into the bathroom, carefully cleaning my scrapes, then wash the make-up off my face. I brush my teeth, then brush out my hair and climb into bed, still thinking about Edward and his odd reaction tonight.

And the fact that he called me "beautiful."

* * *

_Ping!… Ping!_

I moan, trying to figure out what the noise is that woke me up. As I sit up in bed, my alarm clock reads 2:42am.

_Ping!_

This time I recognize it as the sound of something hitting glass. I roll out of bed and walk over to the window, unlocking it and pushing it up. I peek out, seeing Edward standing below my window, poised for another throw.

"What do you want?" I whisper-yell down to him.

"Can you come down?"

I sigh heavily. "Meet you at the front door."

I close and lock the window, then leave my room, thankful that my dad is still at work, or he'd be having a heart attack about now.

Downstairs, I open the front door, looking at Edward, who stands there fully dressed. His eyes drift down, and as I try to follow his line of sight, I realize my nipples are clearly visible through my sleeveless pajama top. I cross my arms over my breasts, then look up at him.

"I couldn't sleep."

I can't help it, my hands and knees hurt, and I'm tired and I'm cranky. "What do you want _me_ to do about it?" I snark.

He tears at his hair, sighing. "Sorry… forget it."

He starts to turn away and I race to stop him. I nearly touch his back then remember what happened the last time I did that. "Wait!"

Slowly, he turns back around, gazing down at me with the saddest puppy dog eyes I have ever seen. I momentarily forget what I'd planned to say. Shaking myself out of my stupor, I ask, "What do you need, Edward?"

"I need to get out of here," he begs.

"And go where?"

"I don't care, anywhere, just… not here for a while."

"So… why do you need _my_ help?" I ask, truly not understanding why he had to wake me up for this.

"I don't have a valid driver's license anymore," he shrugs. "I see your dad's not home."

"Uh, yeah, his shift ends at six. I'll, um… let me get my coat and some shoes." I close the front door, then lean my forehead against it. My heart is beating madly at the thought that Edward came to _me_ when he needed help. That has to mean something, right?

I quickly find my Chucks and a coat, then grab my purse and keys. I lock the door behind me, walking over to my truck where Edward is already waiting. I unlock the passenger door for him, then go around to the driver's side.

"Nice truck," he says quietly once I've slammed the door.

"Are you being sarcastic?" I love my truck.

"No," he chuckles. "I do like it."

"It, um, used to belong to my dad's buddy from the rez. His son fixed it up for me when I turned 16."

The truck starts with a loud roar — I'd be totally caught if Dad were home — and I back slowly out of the driveway. I'm not really sure where to go, but as I drive down the 101 through the center of town, it comes to me. I make the turn onto LaPush Road, heading toward the Pacific Ocean. If Edward wants to be outside, what better place?

I think about driving to First Beach, but there may still be after prom parties there. Instead, I make the turn for Rialto Beach. Edward and I ride in silence the entire way, but it's not uncomfortable. The radio is tuned to the one station I can pick up, the volume turned down low.

I park near the trail head for the beach, then open my door. "Lock your door," I tell Edward. "I'm gonna leave my purse here."

I shove my keys into the pocket in my pajama pants, then shove my hands into my coat pockets. Maybe I should've brought gloves.

Edward lights up a cigarette almost the second he's out of the truck. At least he didn't ask if he could smoke inside it — or worse, just light up without asking.

We walk along the water's edge under the light of the almost full moon, just out of reach of the waves crashing against the sand. He suddenly stops, leaning his head back as he stares up at the unending sky.

I look around the beach, spotting a large rock up ahead. "Let's go sit down," I suggest quietly, touching his arm lightly.

Edward jumps back as if he's been burned and I want to kick myself. "I'm sorry," I apologize quickly, "I forget I shouldn't touch you."

He pulls at his hair with the hand not holding his cigarette, staring down at the sand, then finally lifts his head. "You can touch me, just… make sure I see you first."

"Ok," I nod. "I can do that."

I try not to think about what happened to him that he needs this. A part of me really doesn't _want_ to have my suspicions confirmed.

He tosses the remains of his cigarette onto the sand and we walk over to the rock, sitting down beside each other, though about a foot of space separates us. I look over at Edward, seeing him watching me intently. For the first time, I notice a faint scar above his left eye. I slowly reach my hand out, making sure he sees what I'm doing, as I trace the scar with one finger.

"What happened?" I whisper.

"Fight," he replies with a shrug.

"Do you want to talk about it? Your time in prison, I mean?"

"Not particularly."

I nod, knowing I have to accept his answer. I turn back to stare out at the endless dark ocean, trying to think of something _else_ we can talk about.

"Your parents have lived next door to us for as long as I can remember. They never gave up on you."

"I know."

"What about you?" I ask, turning toward him.

His brow furrows for a moment before he shakes his head. "I gave up a long time ago."

The thought makes me sad. "But you're out now, you're free."

"I'll never be _free_," he scoffs. "Everyone in this fucking town, every time I go out…" He shakes his head again, staring down at the sand, his hands in fists beside him on the rock.

"I didn't know you ever left the house," I reply before I can stop myself. _Stupid_, Bella.

"Mom made me start seeing a shrink twice a week."

"That's… good. Right?" Clearly, Edward still has some issues caused by his prison time.

He shrugs.

"Why couldn't you sleep tonight?"

"Can't sleep most nights." I turn and look at him then, really look at him, and I see the dark circles under his eyes, though even they can't mar his beauty.

"Maybe the… the shrink could give you something, sleeping pills or whatever."

"No drugs," he says sharply. "I don't want to feel like I've lost control."

"You're safe now, Edward," I assure him softly.

He whips his head around, staring at me. "Who said that's what I'm worried about?"

I hold my hands up in surrender. "No-no one, I just…" I shrug, not knowing what to say. He's too defensive, so I know I've hit a nerve. I don't want to make him uncomfortable with me though.

"Sorry," he whispers.

My hands are resting on my thighs, and I'm shocked when he picks up my left hand, bringing it closer to his body. Edward has never touched _me_ before.

"Nasty scrape." He traces his index finger lightly over the torn skin on my palm.

"Yeah… it hurts, but it'll heal." I stop myself from adding, _just like you will_. I expect him to drop my hand, but he doesn't… he just keeps tracing his finger over it, almost mindlessly.

"Your dad doesn't like me."

"No, he — well, he doesn't _not_ like you. Why do you think that?"

He shrugs, finally dropping my hand to light up another cigarette, blowing the smoke out toward the ocean. "He never tries to talk to me. No one does, besides you… and my parents, of course."

"And the shrink," I add quietly.

"And the shrink," he nods, taking a deep drag. "But Jenks is paid to talk to me."

We sit quietly for a few minutes while Edward smokes. I keep stealing glances at him, still wondering how he can make such a disgusting habit look hot.

"Is this… helping?" I ask gently. "Being out here?"

"Yeah… it is. Thank you," he adds, barely audible. He takes one last drag off his cigarette, then tosses the butt aside.

My eyes are drooping; it must be four in the morning. I exhale heavily then without thinking, lean my head on Edward's shoulder. I'm startled when his arm comes around me, hugging me to him. I look up at his face to see him looking at me, a soft smile on his face, and I know what I want to — no, _have_ to — try.

An earthquake couldn't stop me from my mission.

I lean closer to Edward, until we're only inches apart. When he doesn't move away, I take that as a good sign and press my lips softly against his. I suck gently on his pouty bottom lip, startled when he increases the pressure, kissing me back.

I kiss him again, a little more firmly, drunk on the feeling of being this close to him. I pull back slightly to breathe and he leans forward, taking control of the kiss. His right hand comes up, tenderly tucking my long hair behind my ear, and I kiss him a little more eagerly. I part my lips slightly, inviting him in, but am startled when he jumps up off the rock, ending up several feet away from me.

Edward scrubs his hands over his face, staring down at his feet. "We should go back." Without waiting for a response from me, he starts walking back down the beach toward the path.

I scramble off the rock, trying to keep up with his long strides, but it's not easy walking on sand. When I reach my truck, he's already there waiting for me to unlock it. I quickly turn the key in the lock for him, then move to my own side.

The ride back to Forks is as silent as the drive to the beach — only this time, it _does_ feel uncomfortable. I'm not sure what to say to Edward. I mean, he kissed me back, so I know at least some part of him must've wanted it. But now I'm not so sure; maybe he regrets it.

I park the truck in the driveway, grabbing my purse from the floorboards before locking the door. I'm stunned when Edward follows me up onto the porch, looking up at him questioningly as I stand in front of the door.

"It's late… just making sure you can get in ok."

Nodding, I place the key in the lock, pushing the door open. I step across the threshold, turning to say goodbye, but he's already halfway across the driveway.

* * *

I get up late the next morning, but it's Sunday and I don't have anywhere to be. As I make myself a sandwich for lunch, I lift the curtain, hoping to get a glimpse of Edward.

He's not there.

He's _always_ there, so where could he be? Still sleeping, maybe? I force myself not to look as I work on my homework, but by the time I'm making dinner for my dad and myself, I can't take it anymore, so I sneak another peek.

Still no Edward.

I get this pinch in the pit of my stomach. I'm worried about him. I want to go knock on the Cullens' door and ask his parents if he's ok… but I can't do that. They'd think I'm insane.

When I leave for class on Monday morning, he's outside, and I breathe a sigh of relief, waving to him. He doesn't wave back. He's looking in my direction, but it's like he doesn't even see me. I briefly consider walking over to him, but I need to go over my notes for a test in Calculus… and I don't want to push him.

I give him the rest of the week to give me some sort of acknowledgement, but when he's still ignoring me on Friday afternoon, I march right up to him as soon as I've climbed out of my truck. I stand in front of Edward, looking down at him as he puffs on his cigarette.

I stand there for five minutes, getting more furious by the second when he doesn't even look up.

"We're back to this again, are we?" I ask angrily.

_Now_ he looks up, staring at me with a cold expression. I put my hands on my hips as I glare down at him, but still he doesn't speak.

Staring me in the eye, he takes one last drag off his cancer stick, then tosses it aside. He stands up, turns around, and walks back into the house.

And I stand there stunned. And fuming.

* * *

Two weeks later, Edward and I still have not spoken a word to each other. I try not to look for him, but I can't help myself. I remember that cold look on his face, and I'm torn between being furious and wanting to cry. How did he get under my skin so quickly?

I let my dad talk me into having lunch at the diner with him on Saturday afternoon, before his evening shift. He wants to discuss my upcoming graduation, with my mom and her husband flying in, and whether or not I want a party.

_A party!_

I politely decline. I'm not in a party kind of mood.

"Everything ok with you, Bells?"

Shit, he would pick _now_ to become observant. "Fine," I shrug, trying to play at nonchalance.

"You've been acting a bit… off for the last three weeks. Something happen at your prom?"

A perfect out. "Uh… Mike and I had a fight, and I walked home. I broke my heel and tore my dress."

"What did you fight about?" He sounds like a cop doing an investigation.

"Just… I was ready to leave and he wasn't. You know, no big deal." I shrug again.

"You'd tell me if it was more, right?"

"Sure I would, Dad," I reply with my best fake smile.

After we've finished eating, we walk outside and my eyes are immediately drawn to a flash of bronze across the street. _Edward_ is here, downtown — and he's talking to none other than Tanya Damon. My jealousy flares white hot.

Tanya has been married three times — divorced twice, and now widowed after her much older husband, Garrett Damon, died of a massive heart attack last year. She's pretty much looked down on as a gold-digging whore by the rest of Forks. What on earth would she want with Edward?

And then I remember something my dad mentioned in passing one day, that Edward is due $50,000 per year as compensation for his false conviction — that's $900,000! I want to run over there and warn him to get the hell away from her, but I know it's not my place. And my dad is right here.

"Bells! What are you looking at? Come on, get in the car."

I tear my eyes away from Edward, reluctantly moving to get in the cruiser.

* * *

At 4pm, my dad leaves for his shift. I peek out the kitchen window, and Edward isn't on the porch. Undaunted, I head outside, walking back toward the Cullens' garage to see if his parents are home. Both cars seem to be missing, so I come around to their front door and ring the doorbell.

A minute passes and no one answers, so I try again. After another minute, I'm just about to leave, assuming that no one is home, when the door opens.

Edward is standing in front of me in a tight gray t-shirt, dark wash jeans and bare feet, and I realize I've never actually seen him without his black leather jacket on before. His body is something to behold.

He doesn't speak, but he's opened the door wide enough that I can squeeze through. So I do, barely brushing his arm as I step inside.

He closes the door, standing with his back leaning against it as he watches me carefully.

"Why were you talking to Tanya Damon today?" I blurt out. "You've spent the last three weeks ignoring me, but you can talk to _her_?"

Edward stares back at me through narrowed eyes before licking his lips. "What's wrong with Tanya?"

"She's a fucking gold digger!" I shout. "She got a little bit of money from her two divorces, then married some old guy and collected half his estate when he dropped dead of a heart attack two years later."

I cross my arms over my chest, trying to keep myself from going to shake some sense into him.

"Tanya and I dated for a year in high school."

My eyes widen and I'm struck dumb by that piece of news. Tanya and Edward?

"We were… catching up," he adds with a shrug.

"Why'd you break up?" I ask curiously. "Because of your arrest?"

He shakes his head. "Because she cheated on me. I was downtown for my shrink appointment and she spotted me coming out of the building."

"Why have you been ignoring me?" I whisper, my bottom lip quivering.

He sighs, running his hand through his hair, which doesn't seem to have been cut since he came back to Forks. "I'm no good for you, Bella."

"That isn't your decision!" I shout.

"_Please_, just… let me do the right thing," he begs.

"No!" I stalk across the floor until I'm standing just a foot away from Edward. I feel pathetically small next to him — not exactly helpful when I'm trying to seem tough, and adult, and intimidating.

"Do you want Tanya?" I ask in a small voice.

"What? No, that ship sailed a long time ago."

"Do you want me?"

"Bella," he sighs, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. And I've got my answer.

I take another step closer, waiting for Edward to open his eyes before I pounce on him. When he finally does, I stand on my tiptoes, bring my arms around his neck, and crash my lips to his.

In a flash, he spins us around, pressing me against the door with his long lean body. He kisses me hungrily, his hands tangling in my hair. I kiss him back just as eagerly, my lips parting when I feel his tongue begging for entry.

I feel his hands underneath my ass, and then he's lifting me off the floor, pinning me to the door with his hips. I wind my legs around his waist, pulling and tugging at his hair. When I feel his hard-on, I whimper at the knowledge that I can affect a grown man this way.

A man that I want, more than anything else in the entire world right now.

Suddenly he lets me go, pushing back, his breaths coming in near pants as he stares down at me. No! No, no, no!

"Don't you dare try to deny this," I growl.

He shakes his head. "I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore."

"Then don't," I reply boldly.

"I have no idea when my parents will be back, so… we should take this somewhere more private."

A slow smile spreads across my face as I register his words. I move quickly to the staircase, not even waiting for Edward. At the top, I have to stop and wait for him to show me the way. I follow him into his bedroom, turning to watch as he closes and locks the door behind us.

And then I start to get nervous. I have virtually no experience with guys, beyond Spin the Bottle. Acting with a confidence I don't feel, I launch myself at Edward. He catches me, lifting me up as his lips crash into mine.

And suddenly we're moving. He deposits me on the bed, crawling over me before kissing me again, his hands pawing at me.

"Fuck, you're so soft," he moans.

His hands grab the bottom of my shirt, and then he begins lifting up, ever so slowly. I raise my arms, letting him pull my shirt off. My breathing picks up as Edward then reaches underneath me, unsnapping my bra and pulling the straps down my arms. I've never been bare in front of a man before, and I can't stop the worry that he won't like what he sees. But then I remember that he hasn't seen _any_ woman in 18 years.

He sits up, tugging his t-shirt off, and I stare unabashedly at Edward's bare torso. _Clearly_, he spent many of those 18 years working out.

Kneeling between my legs, he begins undoing the button and zipper on my jeans. I lift my hips without him even asking, breathing heavily as he tugs my jeans and panties off, then stares at my naked body.

"Gorgeous," Edward whispers. He lays himself out over me, kissing me until I feel dizzy with want, while I run my hands up and down his muscular back. Finally he breaks away from my mouth and begins trailing kisses down my neck until he reaches my breasts. I cry out when he sucks one nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue, while he massages the other one with his hand.

Still suckling my breasts, he brings one hand down between my legs, pressing into me with first one finger and then another. I try not to gasp at the foreign feeling. He strokes in and out and I feel the way his fingers slide along my slick walls. His thumb circles my clit, and I've never felt anything like this before, so many different sensations. In no time, I shatter into a million pieces, crying out nonsensical words.

"Fuck, I can't wait another minute to have you," Edward growls, sitting back as he starts undoing his own jeans. "_Please_ tell me you're on birth control."

"I-I'm on the pill," I confirm, glad that my doctor prescribed the pill two years ago to help with heavy periods. Any condoms in Edward's bedside table probably expired nearly two decades ago.

My eyes widen when I get my first look at Edward's hard cock. He crawls back over my body, kissing me thoroughly.

"Every time I fall asleep, I dream about all the different ways I want to have you," he whispers. I feel the head of his cock pressing against my entrance, and then suddenly he pushes inside in one strong thrust.

I gasp at the intrusion, clinging tightly to his shoulders.

"Fuck! Bella, why didn't you tell me?" He stares into my eyes and I almost think I see a hint of betrayal.

I shake my head, needing him to do… something… anything. "Just go… move," I plead. And he does, pulling back out then pushing in again just as hard and fast as the first time.

I close my eyes, which are stinging from the pain, as he works up to a steady pace, breathing heavily in my ear. I don't know the exact moment, but at some point, the pain turns to pleasure, and I begin to understand what all the fuss is about sex.

"Not… gonna… last," he pants, and I stroke his hair, letting him know that it's ok. I never expected to come my first time; all the girls at school have said that never happens.

His thrusts start to become erratic and I think he might be very close to coming undone. I lean forward, sucking gently on his neck, and he shatters in my arms, cursing and shouting as he comes deep inside me.

I'm spent when he pulls out, rolling us onto our sides and hugging me close. Edward strokes his hand through my hair again and again, until I succumb to unconsciousness.

* * *

When I wake up, Edward's warm body is no longer next to me. I lift my head, easily spotting him standing in front of the open window, smoking. He's put his jeans back on, but he's still shirtless.

I look around for my clothes, but I spot Edward's t-shirt on the floor first, so I throw that over my head, then climb out of bed. I forego panties since I have no idea where they are.

I walk up to him, making sure he sees me before wrapping an arm around his waist. I notice another nasty-looking faded scar near his other side, just above the waistband of his jeans. My eyes widen when I realize it looks like a knife wound.

"Another fight?" I ask quietly, brushing one finger over the scar.

"Yeah."

"Did you… get in a lot of those?"

Edward shrugs, blowing a cloud of smoke out the window. "Not in the last 15 years or so."

"The scar is that old?"

He nods, bringing his cigarette to his mouth.

I lean forward, kissing his chest. When he doesn't stop me, I place soft kisses in a trail until I've reached his left nipple. I suck lightly on it, and he hisses.

"Don't, Bella."

"Why not?"

He tosses his cigarette out the window then turns to me. "This… this was a bad idea. You were a virgin, for God's sake."

"I know what I'm doing. I'm not a kid," I protest.

He shakes his head. "I was a fucking idiot for giving in to you. This," he motions between us, "Can't go anywhere."

"Don't say that!" Now that I've had a taste of Edward, I am _not_ going to give up.

"Bella, your dad is _never_ going to approve of me for you." He shakes his head sadly.

"Tough shit. I'm 18 years old, so he doesn't get to decide whom I do or do not date."

"That doesn't matter… he's never going to allow it, and we can't keep this from him forever."

"We don't have to keep it from him forever, just… another two and a half months," I answer with a shrug.

Edward's brow furrows. "I don't understand."

"My high school graduation is a week from now, and in August, I'm starting college at the University of Arizona, not that far from where my mom lives in Phoenix. You can come with me."

"Are you insane?!" he shouts, moving away from the window to pace across the room. "I can't just move to Arizona…"

"You were completely exonerated, right? You're not on parole, so there should be no reason why you can't leave town, or leave the state."

"Bella, where the hell am I supposed to live? What the fuck am I supposed to do for a job? I've never been to college, I'm not trained in fucking anything!"

"Didn't you do any kind of work in prison? Make license plates or train service dogs or something?"

He barks out a laugh. "I was on death row, Bella. They didn't let us do shit like that."

"Ok, well… you… my dad said you have a lot of money coming from the State, for the false conviction. You can live off that until you're ready to go to college or some sort of trade school… whatever you want to do."

Edward stares at me, but he's no longer arguing, so I wonder if I'm getting through to him.

"Bella, baby, I'm no good for you," he says sadly. "I'm fucked up in the head, not to mention twice your age! I will be 40 by the time you graduate from college. Do you _really_ want to tie yourself to someone like me?"

"I don't care how old you are," I reply stubbornly. He's still fucking hot.

Edward stalks over to where I remain standing by the window, grasping my face gently in his hands.

"I'm fucked up. I have no idea if I'll ever be normal, if I'll ever be able to work a nine to five job indoors or around other people — like a normal person."

"I don't care, Edward," I repeat slowly. "None of that matters to me."

He stares into my eyes, looking for what I don't know — honesty, sincerity, the fact that I'm not batshit crazy myself for wanting him.

"I never expected to find anyone who could bring me back to life," he whispers, dropping his hands to my waist. "I never expected to find someone like you, someone who could want me after…"

"I do want you, Edward. I'll _always_ want you."

He lets out a shaky breath. "Arizona, huh?"

I nod. "In Tucson. It's sunny there, not so wet and cold like Forks. You could stay outside all the time as long as you can stand the heat."

He smiles, leaning in to place a soft kiss on my lips. "It sounds nice," he whispers, kissing me again.

"You could… you could start over, in a place where no one knows you, no one judges you."

"All I need is you," he replies, shaking his head. He then leans his forehead against mine, pulling me close. "Can I have you?"

"You've got me," I plead.

"Can I have you _now_?" he asks, pressing his erection into my lower stomach to make his point.

"Yes," I whisper, though I'm honestly still a little sore from the first time. Edward unbuttons his jeans, pulling his cock out of the opening as he lifts me up, sliding himself inside, making us one.

Making us whole.

* * *

**A/N**: Those of you who read the contest entry can see that I left the "four years later" part off. I wrote that because I had no intention of continuing this and didn't want everyone asking me to. But my brain keeps seeing more scenes from this when I should be writing _Grad Night_, so yeah…

The premise comes from the TV show _Rectify_ on the Sundance Channel, but not the plot at all. I'd held on to the plot bunny for over a year waiting for an appropriate contest.

* * *

**EDIT**: (May 3) I've prewritten almost to the end (about to start Chapter 33) and regular updates will begin **Tuesday, May 5**. While Edward will never in his own words go into detail about his time in prison, things will happen that will make it fairly obvious. If that may trigger you, please don't read.


	2. The Beach

**Author Note:** Thanks for coming back for the continuation I swore I wouldn't write! Yet somehow I've now completed writing 33 chapters and nearly 100,000 words. Just an Epilogue to go.

**REMINDER:** There are sensitive issues in Edward's past. If this may bother you, please don't read. I won't be leaving a warning on specific chapters.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading, as always. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 2 — The Beach_

I stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Other than the small hickey on my neck, I don't _look_ any different. I don't know why I expected to.

I lost my virginity tonight. To _Edward Cullen_.

It's almost surreal.

I hurriedly brush my teeth, then crawl into bed. I lie awake for hours, even after Dad gets home from his shift. My mind just will not shut off, will not stop thinking about what happened earlier tonight. Not only did we have sex, but Edward agreed to come to Arizona with me. He wants me, maybe even as much as I want him.

_Go to sleep, Bella_, I chastise myself.

I wake up in the late morning, to the sound of a steady rain hitting my window. I doubt even Edward is outside in this kind of weather.

Downstairs, I find my dad seated in front of the TV, watching a baseball game from somewhere on the East coast. He was supposed to go fishing today, but obviously canceled due to the weather. It's like some kind of conspiracy to keep me from seeing Edward again.

I try to make the most of the day cooped up inside, studying for my finals, but the day can't be over fast enough.

On Monday morning, Dad leaves for work about the same time that I leave for school, so all I can do is nod at Edward on my way to my truck. I'm happy just to be able to see him again.

After school, though… I hop out of the truck, rushing right over to where he's seated in his usual place on the porch. "Hey," I breathe, trying not to smile like an idiot.

He reaches his hand out and I take it, letting him pull me down onto his lap. He wraps his arms tightly around me, inhaling deeply.

"I missed you," I whisper.

He lifts his head, smiling softly, then places a soft but far too short kiss on my lips. "Mom's home, so it probably isn't safe to do this, but I couldn't resist."

I smile like a lovesick teenager at his words.

"You haven't come to your senses, have you?" he asks.

"If by that you mean deciding that you're not worth the trouble — no, I haven't." I punctuate my words by kissing him again, until he finally pulls away.

"You'll tell me if you change your mind, right?" he asks, touching my chin gently as he stares into my eyes.

"Edward, I'm not going to do that. I hate that you expect me to," I frown.

"But you really don't know me at all."

"I want to. I want to know _everything_."

"I'm not sure I can tell you everything," he cautions quietly. "But some things. As soon as we can spend some time together without fear of getting caught."

I want to pout, but I was the one who said we should keep this a secret from Dad for the rest of the summer. And Edward was right there with me with regard to his own parents. He's afraid that they'll think it's a bad idea and just doesn't want to fight with them. I'm afraid Charlie may lock me up and throw away the key.

* * *

A few stolen moments are all I get with Edward for the rest of the week. We've got a picnic date planned for Sunday afternoon though, when the parentals are all due to be off doing their own things.

By the time I get home from my last ever day of high school on Friday, my mom and my stepdad, Phil — a former Major League Baseball player and currently the pitching coach for the Arizona Diamondbacks — have arrived from Phoenix. Edward isn't outside and I miss seeing his handsome face.

"I'm so excited," my mother gushes over dinner in town. "My baby girl will be living so close. We can spend weekends together, go shopping…"

"Mom," I try to slow her down, "Tucson is still about a two-hour drive from where you live; I checked." I also try not to roll my eyes at her excitement over being my mother now — or at least my best friend. She was the one who left when I was two, claiming that she wasn't cut out for motherhood. I've only seen her for a few weeks every summer and on holidays ever since.

"Is there anything you need before you start college? Surely your father plans to get you a better vehicle," she sniffs. "I can't imagine that your truck would survive the trip."

"I don't know yet what I plan to do with the truck," I admit. "But… I could use your help in finding a furnished apartment near campus?"

"I thought you'd stay in the dorms?"

"I planned to, but… I've changed my mind. I'd prefer the independence of having my own place," I lie, hoping she doesn't question it. It's not like she knows me.

"Whatever you need, sweetheart," she smiles.

* * *

My graduation ceremony is Saturday afternoon, followed by a family dinner in Port Angeles. Dad takes off for fishing with his best friend, Billy Black, on Sunday morning. Once Mom and Phil have left for the airport, I start making up a picnic lunch for Edward and me.

I pack everything up in a basket, then head outside, finding him on the porch, smoking a cigarette. He chuckles, nodding toward the basket. "I didn't think you really meant a _picnic_."

"I did," I reply proudly. "Are you about ready to go?"

He nods, taking one last drag on his cigarette, then stands up, following me to the truck. I unlock the passenger side door, then lean up to kiss him. "I haven't even seen you since Friday morning."

"I know." I move out of the way so he can get in, then hurry around to the driver's side.

"I didn't want your mom to see me," Edward explains as I climb into the truck. "I mean, if someday she's gonna meet me as your boyfriend… I'd rather she not already have a prejudice against me going into it. Maybe she doesn't have to know I followed you from Forks."

"Do you really think she won't recognize your name?" I ask as I back out of the driveway. "Mom was still in Forks when… when you were arrested. In fact, she's only a couple of years older than you; you might actually know her from high school — Renee Higginbotham?"

He frowns. "I've heard the name, I guess. I didn't know her personally. Your parents are really that close in age to me?"

I nod. "Dad is 40 and Mom just turned 39."

"And I'll turn 37 in two more weeks," he adds, shaking his head.

"I don't care, Edward," I reiterate.

We drive through town, then I make the turn onto LaPush Road. "Are we going to the beach?" he asks.

"Yeah, but I thought maybe Second Beach this time? Less chance of running into people there."

When we reach the trail head, I grab the blanket my dad insists I keep with me — in case I get stranded — and picnic basket. Edward lights up a cigarette as soon as we're out of the truck.

The trail is seven-tenths of a mile, winding through the forest, then down to the beach. I see only a lone surfer, as I'd expected.

"I'm not sure I've ever been here before," Edward says.

"I only have a couple of times. We usually go to Rialto Beach or First Beach, since you can park so much closer."

I spread out the blanket on the sand in a little alcove, then open up the basket, pulling out the lunch I made.

"This all looks great, Bella." I smile involuntarily at the compliment.

As soon as he's finished his lunch, Edward pulls out his pack of cigarettes again.

"I wish you wouldn't smoke so much."

"I need to."

"Can't you cut back… at least a little?" I ask hesitantly. "I mean, I'd kind of like for you to live a good long time."

He chuckles. "And I'm already 18 years older than you."

"Well, _yeah_." He shakes his head, lighting his cigarette anyway. "Did you smoke… before?"

"Before I went to prison, you mean?" I nod. "No. I was an athlete in high school."

"You played basketball, right?"

"And ran track," he nods.

"Is that a 'no' to cutting back?"

He blows out a cloud of smoke, then sighs. "I don't know, Bella. I need it to calm myself."

"You told me you didn't want to take drugs to help you sleep. Nicotine is a drug. Please, Edward? For me."

He smiles, shaking his head. "You are a dangerous creature." When he's finished his cigarette, he tosses the butt aside, bringing his knees up, then scrubs his hands over his face.

"What were you like in high school?" I ask, trying to get to know my… _boyfriend_. "I bet you were popular."

He shrugs. "I guess."

"Come on… you were an athlete, attractive, smart and your parents had money. You were probably the guy every girl wanted to date and every guy wanted to _be_."

He shrugs again. "It doesn't really matter now."

"I bet you had a line-up of girls wanting to be your girlfriend." I feel stupid for being jealous of girls he dated before I was even _born_.

"I suppose I did," he sighs. "From the time I got to high school. Maybe I was popular, but I wasn't Prom King or anything. I was just a normal guy."

"You went to prom?" He nods. "With Tanya?"

"Junior prom. We broke up several months before the end of my senior year. My senior prom date was a girl named Kate."

"Was she your girlfriend at the… at the time of—"

"You can say it, Bella," he says gently. "At the time of my arrest. It's not like you're reminding me of something I'll ever forget. And no, we were never serious. I was going to U-Dub in the Fall and Kate wanted to go to school out of state; there was no point."

"Is she back in Forks?"

"I don't think so," he sighs. "I mean, my parents have never mentioned her. She always used to say she wanted to get far away from this small town. Like you, right?"

"Yeah," I smile.

"So why Arizona?" he asks curiously. "Just because your mom lives there?"

"Not just because of her. I mean, she left when I was two, so it's not like we have a close relationship," I explain. "But I liked Arizona whenever I'd visit her. It's so different from here, hot and dry. I hate the cold and the wet."

"She left you to be raised by your dad when you were that young?" he asks in shock.

I nod. "She's really not mother material. Now that I'm an adult, she wants to be my best friend," I add with an eye roll.

"I'm sorry," Edward says quietly. "I have very little good that I can say about my life, but I've got two wonderful parents."

"And me."

"And you," he replies with a small smile. "Have you… did you break up with your boyfriend yet?"

My brow furrows. "I don't have a boyfriend. I mean, besides you."

"What about that doofus you went to prom with?"

"Mike? We just went as friends." I sigh. "I've never really been interested in the types of things that my classmates are into. I'd never attended a high school dance before prom. I've never… I've never had a boyfriend because I wasn't willing to settle for any of the guys in school."

"Why go to prom then?"

I shrug. "I guess… It's such a teenage rite of passage. I was afraid that I'd regret it somewhere down the line if I didn't go. I wished you could've been my date though."

He barks out a laugh. "Like that would've gone over well."

Suddenly getting an idea, I pull out my phone, thumbing through my saved music. I find a song I like, then turn the volume all the way up and press Play.

Standing up, I hold my hand out to Edward. "Dance with me."

He grins, but he takes my hand, then stands up and pulls me into his arms. I go willingly, resting my head on his strong chest. Edward combs his hand through my hair and I close my eyes, swaying back and forth.

"You were so beautiful that night," he whispers. "I saw you come home with that long bag and I knew… I just knew what it was. I was so jealous of your prom date. And then when I saw you… God, I wanted you. But I couldn't have you."

I lift my head, looking up at him. "You could have, if you'd asked." I reach my arms up to encircle his neck, then pull his head down until I can place a soft kiss on his lips. "You can have anything you want."

"Anything?" he grins. I nod and he claims my lips. It's not hard to read the intent in his kiss.

Edward slowly lowers us to the blanket, his body covering mine. I forget all about the fact that we're on a public beach when he lifts my t-shirt up over my breasts, then tugs my bra cup down and attaches his lips to my nipple.

He opens my jeans and I gasp as he sticks his hand inside, rubbing me over my underwear. "Can I?" he whispers, his hands poised at the waistband of my jeans. I nod and he tugs them down, along with my panties.

Edward rolls off of me, quickly discarding his own pants, then hovers over me, kissing me until I forget my own name. "Yes?" he whispers.

"Yes."

He slides inside and I moan quietly at the feeling of being filled by him. Edward's cock is just right — longer than I imagine average to be, but not so thick that he should be a porn star.

"Oh, so good," he groans. He kisses me lightly then starts to move, slow thrusts that threaten to make my toes curl.

A part of me wants to close my eyes, but instead I watch Edward. I watch the concentration on his face, as he struggles to keep from losing control. I watch the beads of sweat form at his temple. And I watch the way he looks at me with… is that wonder?

Suddenly he hitches my left leg around his hip, sliding in even deeper. His thrusts speed up, while his lips bounce between my own and my breasts.

I cry out in pleasure when he hits some spot inside me, and he begins moving even faster, as if he's on some kind of mission. I didn't come from sex the first two times, but if he keeps this up…

"Come on, Bella," he begs, "Let me see you come on my cock."

Edward reaches down with one hand just above where we are joined and that's all it takes. "Oh God!" I cry out, squeezing my eyes closed.

"Fuck!" He pulls out suddenly, spilling all over my thigh. After a few moments, he gets up onto his knees, staring down at the mess. He chuckles lightly then grabs a discarded napkin from our picnic lunch to clean me off.

The sound of a seagull reminds me that we are in fact on a public beach, so I hurriedly pull my t-shirt down and start putting my pants back on, while Edward does the same. When he's finished, he looks at me almost shyly.

"Um, I swear it wasn't my intention to get you alone so that we could have sex."

"Trust me — I didn't mind."

* * *

**A/N:** I'm really anxious to hear what you guys think of this fic! I think it's a little different for me, a little darker. Ask moosals, I tortured Edward whenever I was writing this while PMS.

Some of the chapters will have accompanying photos. This is Second Beach: media-cdn dot tripadvisor dot com /media/photo-s/07/12/40/ed/second-beach dot jpg

Those who've read _Grad Night_ will be pleased to know that there are very few cliffhangers in this fic, only when chapters ran long and I had to cut them. Otherwise, most chapters are complete "thoughts." Don't let that stop you from reviewing though. ;)

Updates will be twice a week until complete. See you on **Friday**!

* * *

**_Grad Night_ is nominated for the Top 10 Completed Fics in April 2015 on TwiFanfictionRecs. Please vote if you enjoyed the story! Link on my profile. Remember you can vote every day!**


	3. The Past

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to the last chapter! I'm glad you all are as excited for the continuation as I am.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

**Thanks to FicSisters International House of FanFic (and moosals!) for the rec today! Link in my profile if you want a sneak peek at the story. :)**

* * *

_Chapter 3 — The Past_

It was my idea to get a part-time job to help pay for my expenses during college, but it's really putting a crimp in my plans to spend time with Edward. I work around 20 hours a week at Forks Outfitters Thriftway Food Store, which is pretty much the only store in town — thankfully in the bakery, and not in their hardware or sporting goods departments.

It's the Friday after our beach picnic before we get the perfect storm — I'm off work, while Dad and both of Edward's parents are working. It's also pouring down rain, so there will be no trips to the beach today.

Edward calls me as soon as his mom leaves and I rush over to the Cullens', trying to dodge the raindrops. The instant I step inside the house, he pushes me back against the front door and kisses me enthusiastically, his arms caging me in.

"That's quite a welcome," I breathe when he finally pulls away. He gives me a crooked grin, taking my hand and leading me toward the stairs.

_So that's how it's going to be._ My body starts to tingle in anticipation as we climb the stairs. Sex with Edward is starting to become one of my favorite pastimes.

"Go sit on the bed," he says as he closes and locks the door behind us.

"Bossy, aren't you?" I joke as I sit down on the unmade bed, bringing one leg up.

There's a small desk against one wall. Edward grabs two large binders from on top of it, bringing them over to the bed. He sits beside me, then hands me the top binder. Oh-kay… I guess we're not having sex right now.

"You wanted to know about me, so… this is my life. My mom put these together when I was growing up — a mixture of pictures and school awards, stuff like that."

I look over at him, so touched that he would share this with me.

"Go on, open it," he encourages.

Smiling, I turn back to the binder, opening the front cover. I gasp at the photos of baby Edward on the first page. "Oh my God, you were so cute!" In one photo, a young Esme is holding her infant son while Carlisle looks on. I laugh a bit at their clothes and hair, though they were undeniably attractive.

"What?"

"The way they're dressed," I chuckle.

"It was the '70s," he shrugs. "Not that I remember."

For a brief second, an image of Edward and me with a mini-Edward of our own flashes before my eyes. While I've never dreamed of having a child, it's a tantalizing image. But it's a long way off, after I've finished college, for sure.

I continue flipping the pages, watching Edward turn into an adorable blond toddler, and then a photo where he stands proudly in a little suit on the front porch of a large home, his hair a chaotic mess. "My first day of kindergarten," he says quietly.

There are report cards and certificates mixed in with the photos now. An award for winning a spelling bee, for making the Honor Roll, getting all A's in sixth grade.

I can tell that he was always one of the taller kids. In one photo, from middle school perhaps, he stands half a head taller than his friends, his hair now closer to its current unusual bronze shade. I can see the beginnings of the athletic teenager, with his long gangly legs.

When I reach the end of the first book, Edward takes it from me, then gently places the second one in my lap. "High school."

I smile at the photos of him in his basketball uniform, then poised at the starting gates at a track meet. He's smiling proudly and holding up ribbons in some photos.

"Oh my God," I exclaim, "Tanya." She was pretty, I grudgingly admit. I'm not so sure about her prom dress. It's knee-length, emerald green, with spaghetti straps and a deep plunging neckline decorated with beads. Edward's green bowtie and cummerbund match it perfectly.

"You looked so handsome," I tell him. Seriously, he had to have been the hottest guy at Forks High.

He shrugs. "It's just superficial."

"So looks don't matter to you at all?" I ask doubtfully. "You had a beautiful girlfriend."

"My feelings have changed in 20 years," he says quietly. "Not that you're not beautiful, because you are… but that's not why I want you."

I give him a small smile, continuing to flip through the album. A few pages later must be his senior prom photo. "That's Kate?" I ask, pointing to the cute girl with platinum blonde hair and a long, slim lavender dress. There's no denying that his high school girlfriends were very pretty girls. I feel so plain in comparison, despite what he says.

"That's her," he confirms. "Kate Fairbanks. I asked my mom and she said Kate's parents are still in town. They own a bed and breakfast."

"And Kate?"

He shrugs. "Mom says she lives in California somewhere, married with three kids. She got what she'd always dreamed of." He sighs. "I'm happy for her, I really am, but… that's basically the end of the book — the next two pages are me in my cap and gown and then my 18th birthday."

I flip the page, smiling at how happy Edward looked. My smile falls though when I realize that his life came to a screeching halt just weeks later.

"There was supposed to be another half of the book," he whispers. "I was supposed to go to college, then medical school… get married, have a couple of kids. But my life was stolen from me, and now I'm not going to have any of that."

I set the book aside, then turn to Edward, taking both of his hands in mine. "You can still have all of that."

"No, I can't," he insists. "I can't see myself starting college this fall, and I'm not getting any younger."

"People go back to school and change careers in their forties!"

"It's too late, Bella," he whispers.

"Ok, fine," I acquiesce on this one for now. I still think he could go to college, if not medical school. "But why can't you get married and have a family?"

"Even if I can find someone who'd be willing to deal with my issues and commit to me—"

"I'm in this for the long term," I interrupt. "I asked you to come to Tucson with me, after all."

He sighs, smiling gently. "Even with _you_ by my side, I'm too fucked up to ever be someone's parent. If that's what you want, you might as well just walk away now before we get in any deeper."

"You won't always be fucked up, Edward."

"You don't know that!" he shouts, tearing his hands away. "Do _not_ count on it, Bella. Fuck," he swears, tugging at his hair with both hands.

"Edward," I whisper, tentatively reaching my hand out to touch his shoulder. I think he can see me out of the corner of his eye, so I go ahead and touch him and he doesn't flinch away. "I have faith that with continued therapy, you'll be… at least better, if not… normal." I cringe, not knowing how to put into words what I really mean.

"I can't see myself ever changing my mind about kids," he says quietly, peeking up at me. "I meant it — if that's important to you, then it's best that we end this."

"I… I've never really thought about it." Until 20 minutes ago — I guess that's a big fat no to my image from earlier. "I guess I always assumed I'd have kids one day, but… it's not some lifelong dream of mine. It's not like I know how to be a good mother," I add.

Edward crosses his arms over his knees, turning his head to look at me. "Don't go into this thinking you can change me."

"I'm not, I swear."

He eyes me like he doesn't believe me, then stands up, walking over to the window. The rain is still coming down as he opens the window, lighting up a cigarette. I'm actually kind of surprised that this is his first one since I got here — maybe he really is trying to cut back for me, though he never said he would.

While Edward smokes, I set the binders on the nightstand then stretch out on his bed, making myself comfortable, kicking my shoes off.

"Take your clothes off."

I turn to look at him in surprise. "What?"

"You heard me."

I bite my lip, feeling a little self-conscious. Which is stupid, since he's seen me naked before. But the way he's watching me…

Hesitantly, I sit up, pulling my t-shirt over my head. Edward motions with his finger for me to keep going, so I do, unbuttoning my jeans and sliding them off. I lie back again, naked except for my bra and panties.

When he's finished his cigarette, Edward tosses it out the window, closes it, then stalks over toward me. He kneels on the bed, crawling over my prone body. I tilt my chin up and he kisses me, slow and deep.

I feel his right hand slide underneath my back to unsnap my bra, and then he slowly peels my bra straps down my arms.

"You really are beautiful," he whispers, before he begins kissing his way down from my lips. One at a time, he sucks my nipples into his mouth until both are hard and wanting. "God, I missed tits," he moans.

I can't help my giggle, seconds later breaking out in goosebumps as his hands trace gently down my sides. He slowly removes my panties, then presses one long finger between my legs. I just close my eyes and feel as he begins placing soft kisses in a line down my stomach.

His tongue circles my navel, and then… "Oh!"

My eyes snap open and I stare down at where Edward's attention is concentrated. His tongue is licking along my slit, and holy hell, that feels good. His lips nibble at my clit, then he flicks it with his tongue until I'm squirming.

He goes back to long licks, while he slides two fingers into me. When he concentrates on my clit again, sucking it into his mouth, I start shaking uncontrollably from the force of my orgasm. "God… Edward… oh God, stop."

He sits back and looks up at me, grinning my favorite crooked grin. "You like that?"

"Wow…"

Still grinning, he tugs his t-shirt over his head then begins unbuttoning his jeans. I lick my lips when his hard cock pops out and hits his stomach.

"Should I…?" I mean, I have no freakin' clue how to give a blowjob, but I feel like I should at least offer to return the favor.

Edward shakes his head. "Turn over."

My eyes widen a little, but I know he'd never hurt me, so I quickly obey, rolling onto my stomach. He gathers my hair into a ponytail, tucking it over my right shoulder, then places a soft kiss between my shoulder blades.

"Are we living out your fantasies today?" I joke.

I can almost feel him freeze in place. "Do you not want to?" he asks quietly.

"No!" I shout, turning over to face him. "That's… no, I want you to show me all of your fantasies, or how did you put it — all of the ways you want to have me. I just want _you_, Edward."

He stares down at me, not speaking, so I reach up to touch his face. "I promise, I want everything with you."

"Ok," he exhales, and I turn back to my stomach. Edward gently places his hands on my hips, lifting them up off the bed. I feel his cock brush against my entrance and then he pushes inside, moving painstakingly slowly.

When he stops I take a deep breath, trying to adjust to the feeling of him so deep inside me. "Ready?" he whispers, and I nod.

And then he rocks my world.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God…" I chant with each slow, deep thrust. This is… I have no words for what this is.

I moan loudly, feeling myself just on the edge as he brings his hands around to knead my breasts while he continues to move his hips.

"Bella," he groans, "Oh fuck, you feel so good. Can't… hold on much longer."

And then it happens, and I'm coming, feeling my legs shake. With a mighty roar, I feel Edward coming inside me. He pulls out and my hips fall to the bed, still shaking.

I lie there, trying to slow my breathing, then turn my head to watch as Edward gets up to grab a handful of tissues from a box on the desk. He gently cleans me off, tosses the tissues, then flops onto his back beside me.

I look over at Edward, startled by how exhausted he looks. Rolling over to face him, I trace one finger along the dark circles under one eye.

"I haven't slept well in a few days," he explains quietly.

"What happened?"

He shrugs. "I saw my shrink on Tuesday. I… I told him about you."

"What did he say?" I whisper.

Edward shakes his head. "He doesn't think I should be in a relationship right now — with anyone. But if I'm determined to do it, then he said… he said I needed to be honest with you about… about my limitations."

"So that's what was up with our conversation earlier? Your shrink wanted you to tell me that you don't want kids?"

He nods. "He's concerned that you're so young and inexperienced. He's afraid you've romanticized this somehow, like you think you can heal me."

"I don't…" I start to protest, but then stop. In some ways, I _do_ think that Edward can be healed by having someone care about him. But I understand that it'll take a lot more than that.

He yawns and I turn and reach down to the floor, pulling my phone out of my jeans. "What time will your mom be home?"

"Around five."

Nodding, I set my phone alarm for 4:30, then set it on the nightstand. I scoot closer to Edward, letting him pull me close. "Just sleep, Edward," I suggest, caressing his face. "I set the alarm so I have time to sneak out, ok?"

He closes his eyes and I lean up, kissing each of his eyelids softly, then pull his head into my chest. I softly stroke my hands through his hair until we both succumb to sleep.

* * *

**A/N:** A little walk down memory lane, followed by their first serious conversation. Is Edward right that he can't have any of the future he dreamed about? Is Bella right that he can get better one day? Is Edward's _shrink_ right that this is all a bad idea?

Next update on **Tuesday**.

* * *

**Grad Night is nominated for the Top 10 Completed Fics in April 2015 on TwiFanfictionRecs. Please vote if you enjoyed the story! Link on my profile. Remember you can vote every day!**


	4. The Meadow

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to the last chapter! There isn't total agreement, but the majority think everyone is right except Edward. I think he just hasn't had enough therapy yet to truly see the benefits, and realize that he can get better with time. And while his shrink has a right to be concerned, he's most likely assuming that Bella is a more typical 18-year-old girl.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

**Thanks to Nic for the rec on The Lemonade Stand yesterday!**

* * *

_Chapter 4 — The Meadow_

The stars align again on the following Wednesday — including the weather this time — so Edward and I plan another picnic. I like cooking for him; even though he's in shape, he's so thin, as if he didn't get enough to eat for years. I try not to dwell on it too much, or I just want to cry for him.

"Hey," I greet him with a small kiss as we meet at my truck. My dad's house is the last one on the end of the street, before the start of the forest, so I'm not _too_ worried that one of our neighbors will see us. I unlock the door for Edward then head around to the driver's side, storing the picnic basket behind the seat.

As I turn north onto the 101, Edward clears his throat. "Can we go somewhere other than the beach today?"

"Sure," I agree readily. "Where do you want to go?"

"I'll give you directions."

"Ok." I'm a little confused about the secrecy, but I'm sure he has his reasons.

A mile or so north of town, Edward directs me to turn right onto a gravel road. The road ducks and curves through the trees for maybe a quarter of a mile, ending abruptly.

"Here?" I ask, confused. He nods, opening the door. As I grab the basket and blanket from the backseat, Edward lights up a cigarette, then leaves it dangling between his lips as he takes the items from me.

I follow him down a trail through the thick forest until suddenly it opens up into a large clearing, almost perfectly round in shape. It's some kind of meadow full of bright green grass and colorful wildflowers, a babbling creek along one side.

"Oh my God," I gasp, "This is beautiful!"

I take the blanket back from him, but I'm almost afraid to spread it out on the ground, not really wanting to crush any of the gorgeous wildflowers. Once I've done so, Edward sets the basket down, pulling out our lunch.

"Everything looks great," he smiles.

"Thanks," I smile back. "So, what is this place? I mean, how do you know about it?"

"We used to come here a lot when I was in high school. It was a great place for parties — when the weather was nice, anyway. We could park off the main road where no one could see the cars, and it's too far from civilization for noise to bother anyone."

"Really? I've never heard anyone mention this place. We usually hold parties at First Beach. That's where my friend's birthday party was, the night I came home drunk and couldn't figure out how to put a key in the door," I chuckle, remembering my embarrassment.

"The Quileutes were our biggest rival in football back then — we never would've thrown parties on their land," he explains.

"Did you party a lot?"

"Me?" He shakes his head. "Nah… I was too serious about school, or staying in shape. I'd drink sometimes, sure, but I rarely had more than a couple beers."

"Me too," I reply quietly. "I rarely drink." I don't want Edward to have the wrong impression of me, after what he saw that night.

"There was another reason I liked this place for parties," Edward says quietly a few minutes later, as he munches on one of the cookies I baked for dessert.

"What's that?"

"My parents were pretty easy-going; they didn't really care if I drank a little. They knew it was something most teenagers did. I mean, they grew up in the '60s and '70s," he laughs. "The only request they had was that I never drive drunk, or accept a ride from anyone who'd been drinking. My dad had seen the aftereffects of too many drunk driving accidents."

"Oh-kay?" I'm failing to see how his parents' request made this meadow a great location for parties.

"From here, I could walk home," he explains. He spins around for a moment, then points off to his right, between the trees. "Our old house was about a half mile in that direction."

"How can you tell?" I chuckle, not able to even see the start of a trail.

He smiles, but it doesn't seem like a happy smile. "If the way back to the parking area is at twelve o'clock," he begins, nodding toward the direction we'd come from, "The trail home was at five o'clock."

"How on earth would you be able to see where you were going in the dark?" Surely no moonlight would be able to penetrate the heavy tree cover.

"We did have a little invention called a flashlight back in the '90s, Bella," he smirks, and I chuckle. Ok, that _was_ a dumb question.

Something about the expectant look on his face though… the pieces of the puzzle begin to click into place. The one lingering question I had. Not about his innocence, but about the… how.

"That's how you found Bree's body." I speak slowly, the idea forming in my brain at the same time as my words. "You were coming home from a party here."

He nods, bringing his knees up and resting his arms and chin on them, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Have you… been here since that night?" He shakes his head. "Will you tell me what happened?"

He closes his eyes, sighing, then opens them again, pulling out his pack of cigarettes. As he holds one to his lips, his hands are shaking so badly that he can barely light it. He blows out a cloud of smoke, scrubbing his left hand over his face, swallowing thickly.

"I haven't told the story to anyone since the day I took the stand at my trial."

"Does that mean you won't tell me?" I ask, trying not to be disappointed.

"It means I need a minute, but… I'll tell you."

I watch as Edward smokes, his eyes seeming to be staring off at something that only he can see. When he finishes his cigarette, he stubs it out in the grass then tosses it aside.

"We had a party here that night," he begins. "I don't remember why, if we even needed a reason. I usually stopped at two beers, but it was the summer… my last chance to just be a kid before I went off to study pre-med, before I had to act like a responsible adult.

"Besides the alcohol, someone had brought some weed. I usually just passed the joint to the next person, but that night I smoked it.

"My curfew was 1am. I left around 12:30, stoned and maybe still a little drunk. I knew the path by heart, I didn't usually look down at the ground. And then I tripped over something. I looked down and… it was all I could do not to throw up."

"Bree's body," I breathe.

He nods. "I didn't know who she was at the time, but she was obviously dead. I took off running. I mean, what if whoever had killed her was still out there? What if I was next?

"My parents had left all the outside lights on for me. As I got to the house, I noticed blood on my shoe. I panicked for a minute, then tossed them into the garbage can hidden around the corner of the garage. And then I went inside and went to bed."

"Why didn't you wake up your parents and tell them what you'd seen?" I ask curiously.

"Because I was drunk and stoned. I… I probably wasn't thinking clearly, but… I was afraid my parents would be upset with me, especially for the weed. And if I had to tell my story to the cops in that condition…" He trails off, shaking his head.

"The next morning, Mom woke me up to go to church with them. I was still a bit hungover," he remembers. "There were whispers around church that Bree was missing, so I knew that no one else had found the body. After the sermon, my parents stood around outside talking to some friends, so I went down the street to a payphone and called in the tip to 9-1-1.

"By the time we got home, there were cops everywhere. I think the entire Forks police force was there. Since our house was the closest to where the body was found, they wanted to interview us, in case we'd seen or heard something.

"I told them I wasn't home all night, so one set of cops talked to my parents and another set talked to me. I admitted that I'd been to a party, but I lied that it was in a friend's basement. I told them that the same friend who'd picked me up, had dropped me off just before my curfew. I figured I'd have time to call him, convince him to go along with my story, in case the cops felt the need to check into it."

He stops, running his hand roughly through his hair. "The guys talking to my parents finished up first and started taking a look around, looking for any evidence, in case the killer had come by that way. One of them looked in the trash can and pulled out my shoes… and my mom signed my death warrant."

I gasp. "Your mom?"

He nods. "She said, 'What are Edward's new shoes doing in the trash?' They'd just gotten them for me for my 18th birthday a few weeks earlier. She didn't see the blood when the cop first pulled them out. But then he flipped them over."

"What did you do then?" I ask, spellbound by his story.

"I told the truth… or 95-percent of it, anyway. I didn't admit to the weed. The cops believed me — or at least it seemed like they had.

"Weeks went by and no new evidence turned up, nothing that pointed to the killer."

"What about the hairs found on the body?" I interrupt. "The ones they tested for DNA. The longer hairs obviously weren't yours."

"The cops thought they were Bree's hair," he explains. "Her hair was more or less the same color blonde as… his. And there was no scientific way to prove anything else back then.

"The whole town was on edge, waiting for the cops to make an arrest. People were scared to death that there was some crazed murderer in Forks. My classes at U-Dub were starting the last week in September, and they arrested me a few days before I was supposed to leave for Seattle."

"How could anyone who knew you or your parents believe you were actually guilty? Did the townspeople really believe it?"

"Not then," he says quietly. "They were sure the cops had made a mistake. But months later, after I'd been convicted, they started to believe it. They put their faith in the system; a jury had found me guilty of murder."

"But how could a jury of people who knew you ever come to that conclusion?" I ask, feeling irrationally angry for him. "What possible motive could the prosecutor have given? Did you even _know_ Bree?"

"The jury didn't know me," he replies quietly. "The trial wasn't held in Forks, but at the county courthouse in Port Angeles, the next April. Forks residents didn't make up the jury."

He stops, sighing. "Bree went to Forks High, but she'd just finished her sophomore year. I knew her name because she was president of her class, but I don't think I'd ever spoken to her. The motive they gave was that she'd spurned my advances and I turned on her, snapped or something.

"It was pretty much ridiculous, but… the jury found that I had opportunity and there was physical evidence placing me at the scene. If I'd just told someone the night before…" He shakes his head again. "The coroner couldn't really narrow down the time of death, after her body had been lying outside exposed all night. My friend testified to the time he'd picked me up to go to the party, and a dozen witnesses testified that I was there all night until just after 12:30. But Bree's parents had last seen her about two hours before I went out, so there was still a window of time before the party when I could've done it, the prosecutor said. Or even after the party, since my parents never heard me come home."

He stops, pulling out his pack of cigarettes again, but this time he really is shaking too hard to light one. He angrily throws the pack to the ground, and I barely resist reaching out to comfort him; he needs to tell me whatever is coming next.

"It was 18 years ago today that I was sentenced to death," he whispers, his voice trembling.

I inhale sharply. I hadn't been expecting _that_, hadn't realized that there was something behind Edward's choice to come here today, of all days.

The whole time he's been telling his story, Edward has been sitting curled into a ball, his arms wrapped around his legs. Now he seems to deflate, lying back on the blanket and staring up at the sky.

I crawl on my knees over to him, carefully lying down beside him. I reach up to caress his cheek, then gently kiss along his strong jaw. Staring into his eyes, l softly kiss his pouty lips, a little surprised when he returns my kiss, just as softly. The look in his eyes is so _needy_.

I let my hand drift down his neck, over his chest and stomach, until I reach the bottom of his t-shirt. When he doesn't protest, I begin pushing up, exposing his torso. He lifts his shoulders from the blanket, helping me remove his shirt.

Rolling on top of him, I kiss him a little harder, brushing my hands over his bare skin. He lifts his arms from his sides, cradling my face in his hands as he returns my kisses.

When he lets me break away from his lips, I kiss my way down to his chest, my only goal to make him feel as good as he's made me feel. I tangle my fingers in his chest hair, sucking lightly on his nipples. Once I've reached his stomach, I start to open the button fly on his jeans, but he suddenly grasps my wrist.

"Let me."

I roll off of Edward, letting him remove his own pants. I reach for his hard cock, but he grasps my wrist again and I look up at him in confusion.

"You're wearing too many clothes," he whispers.

Smiling, I hurriedly strip out of my clothes. Edward sits up, watching me with this look of almost… awe on his face. Once I'm naked, he pulls me onto his lap, holding me in his arms, and I gasp when I feel him, hot and hard, beneath me.

He tucks my hair behind my ears, dragging his lips over mine, barely touching me. My heart is pounding madly from how much I want him. I swallow thickly as he reaches down, pressing his cock against me.

"Just slide down," he whispers. "I want to watch you ride me."

I feel my face flame at his words, but I do it, I sink down onto him, closing my eyes when it becomes too intense. When I open them again, he's staring right back. He kisses me gently, then takes my hands in his, lying back on the blanket.

Edward tugs on my hands and I get the hint, experimentally moving a little. He feels far too good like this. We manage to figure out a rhythm, with him grasping my hips, moving me just the way he wants while his lips suck at my nipples.

"Edward… oh, God…"

When I come, it takes me by surprise. I want to stop and just feel, but he won't let me, rolling us over until he's on top of me, chasing his own orgasm.

"Bella, fuck," he groans, and then it's over. He grasps me tightly, rolling us to our sides, as we both try to come down from our highs.

My breathing is almost back to normal when he tilts my chin up, kissing me sweetly. "You continue to amaze me," he says quietly.

"Why?"

"Nothing I say scares you away. Not even when I tell you how much of the mess I got into was my own fault."

I sit up abruptly, reaching for my clothes. The light wind on my sweaty skin is starting to feel cool. "It wasn't your fault, Edward! What, because you didn't tell the truth right away? Because you were scared? That shouldn't have condemned you to _death_."

He sighs, slipping into his underwear. This time he manages to light his cigarette. "Even you asked why I didn't just tell my parents when I got home."

"I wanted to understand what was in your head — and I _do_. Maybe it was a bad decision, but… I just don't know how anyone could've ever thought you were capable of such a thing."

"You can never know what anyone is capable of until their back is against the wall."

He's staring into space again, and I wonder what he's talking about. I don't ask though — I know he'll tell me in his own time.

* * *

**A/N:** More about Edward in this chapter, as we learn how he ended up on death row. What did you think of his story?

I don't usually do all of the traditional _Twilight_ things like a meadow, but it fit this story. This is Edward in the meadow: i71 dot photobucket dot com/albums/i135/Thecommitted/Links/meadow_bampw dot jpg

Next update on **Friday**.

* * *

**Grad Night is nominated for the Top 10 Completed Fics in April 2015 on TwiFanfictionRecs. Please vote if you enjoyed the story! Link on my profile. Remember you can vote every day!**


	5. The Date

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story!

Most of you said that you could totally imagine a teenager making the same poor choices that Edward did. Of course, he never expected that they'd come back to bite him like that. I think his biggest problem was the lack of evidence placing anyone else at the scene of the crime. The town was on edge, and the cops needed to make an arrest.

Early update since I have an early meeting at the office!

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 5 — The Date_

I stare into my closet, frowning at everything I see on the hangers. I've never really given a shit about my appearance, but I want to look good tonight — for Edward.

We're going on a real _date_. Once I found out that tomorrow is Edward's 37th birthday, I wanted to do something for him. His parents have plans with another couple tonight, so I told my dad a little white lie about going to Port Angeles with Angela.

I _will_ be in Port Angeles, at least.

I have one skirt, a cute khaki mini skirt. It's nice, but not so nice that my dad will question why I'm dressed up. I finally choose a short-sleeved blouse with a fun print to wear with it, and a pair of ballet flats instead of my usual Chucks. I put on a little make-up and spray some perfume, then I'm off.

"Bye, Dad," I call to him. He grunts, not even looking up from the baseball game on the TV.

I find Edward outside in his usual spot on the porch, smoking. "Wow," he smiles, looking me up and down. He stands up, placing a soft kiss just beneath my ear, then follows me to the truck, tossing his cigarette.

"So you're really ok with going out, right?" I ask worriedly as I back out of the driveway. "You can tell me if you're not."

"I don't think I'll be recognized in P.A."

"But we'll be around other people… you're ok with that?"

He sighs, leaning his head against the back of the seat. "I'm gonna try to be," he answers quietly.

As I drive north on the 101, Edward reaches over, putting his hand on my bare thigh and rubbing small circles with his thumb. I look at him out of the corner of my eye and he gives me a crooked grin. "You wore this skirt for me, didn't you?"

"I did," I admit, feeling my face heat up.

Edward reaches over with his other hand, turning up the volume on the radio a little bit. "I had a radio in my cell, but I usually just listened to news or sports. I'm still getting used to today's music," he chuckles. "Not quite the same as the Seattle grunge from my high school days."

"I can't even imagine how different 2015 must seem compared to the world you left," I confess. "Did you even have the internet?"

"Yes," he replies. "Sort of. There wasn't much on it. We just had dial-up online access, so it was much slower. And there was no such thing as Google when I went to prison."

"Were there cell phones? I know you mentioned using a payphone, but we don't have phone booths anymore."

"There were, but not a lot of people had them — at least in Forks. I had a car phone that my parents got for me when I got my license. My mom has an iPhone, and I just play with it sometimes, amazed by the technology. I've missed so much," he says wistfully.

I reach down, squeezing his hand where it still rests on my thigh. What happened to Edward — losing half of his life — is just so unfair.

"So, it's your birthday — where would you like to eat?" I ask as we reach the edge of town.

"You can pick. I don't know what's here."

"Does Italian sound ok? Bella Italia is right by the movie theater."

"That's fine," he nods.

The 101 turns left toward the waterfront and the main part of town. Suddenly Edward inhales sharply, his hand squeezing my leg.

"What is it?" I ask, looking around to try to see what's wrong with him.

"There," he whispers, nodding to his right.

"Oh fuck." I stare at the red brick of the Clallam County Courthouse. "That's where your trial was."

"Yes," he confirms, barely audible.

A few blocks later, I park my truck in a corner lot, then turn to Edward. "Are you all right?" He looks over at me, and I just want to cry at the look in his eyes. This date is not turning out at all as I had hoped.

"I'll be fine," he replies, swallowing thickly. He opens the door, climbing out of the truck. By the time I've made it around to the passenger side, he's already lit up a cigarette. He leans his ass against the door, tipping his head back and blowing the smoke toward the sky.

"You're alive, Edward. You survived." I reach out toward his arm, stopping short before I touch him. The last thing I need to do right now is startle him.

Finally he glances at me, giving me a small smile, and I wrap one arm around his back. I gaze up at him as he smokes, just wishing I could do something to take away that haunted look in his eyes. I know I have to be patient, though. It took 18 years for him to get like this; I can't expect a couple of months of therapy and three weeks of being involved with me to cure him.

He tosses the butt aside when he's finished, then turns to me. "Let's do this." He holds his hand out to me, and I place mine in his, squeezing lightly. I lead the way to the restaurant across the street and just down the block, and Edward holds the door for me.

"Good evening," the pretty red-headed hostess smiles, "Table for two?"

"Yes," I nod, and we follow her through the restaurant.

"Is this table ok?" she asks, stopping at a small table in front of the windows.

Seeing a small frown on Edward's face, I point toward a booth on the wall to our right. "Could we have a booth?" He would probably rather sit where he's not so visible to other patrons.

"Of course," she smiles, leading us over there and setting several menus on the table. "Our wine list is on top."

I slide into the booth across from Edward and he gives me a tiny smile. "Thank you," he mouths.

"It's my treat, by the way," I remind him as he picks up the menu, "Since it's your birthday and all."

After looking over the menu, Edward picks up the extensive wine list. "I've never had wine," he muses. "Not exactly a popular drink among teenage boys. And my parents don't drink wine at home."

I smile. "You can get some, if you want. Do they sell by the glass? I mean… I'm not old enough to drink… in public," I add with a wink.

He shakes his head. "My girlfriend is underage," he mutters to himself. I squee a little internally — it's the first time he's called me his girlfriend.

When our waitress comes to take our orders, Edward does indeed get a glass of white wine — after asking her for a suggestion — to go with his crab cakes and linguine. I just stick to a Coke with my mushroom ravioli.

The waitress brings our drinks, along with a basket of bread and a plate of olive oil and vinegar for dipping. "Is there anything else I can get you?" she asks, looking at my date. Maybe I'm just imagining her seductive tone, but I don't like it, not one bit.

"Bella, are you good?"

I nod, smiling tightly, and she walks away.

"Seriously? Flirting with you right in front of me?" I shake my head, angrily ripping the wrapper off my straw.

Edward snorts a little. "Come on, who'd flirt with me?"

"Any woman would; you're a good-looking guy, Edward."

He sighs, then grabs a piece of bread from the basket. "I suppose, if she doesn't know anything about me."

I frown, but I drop the subject for now. I hate how down on himself he is.

"Maybe she didn't realize you're with me," he muses. "She might think you're my daughter."

"You do _not_ look old enough to be my father."

"But I could be," he points out.

Edward picks up his glass of wine, holding it under his nose. I watch him carefully as he brings it to his lips, taking a small sip.

"What do you think?"

"Not too bad," he shrugs. "You want to try?" I take a sip from his glass, grimacing a bit at the taste, and he chuckles. "You don't like it?"

"Not really."

He smirks at me, biting off a piece of his bread, and I'm so happy to see his mood improved.

Our meals are delicious and thankfully the waitress seems to have stopped trying to flirt with Edward. I take care of the bill, then stand up, taking Edward's hand again.

Outside, he quickly lights up another cigarette and I frown. "I _have_ cut back, Bella. I'm trying to stay under a pack a day."

"How about half a pack?" I suggest hopefully.

He gives me a small smile, shaking his head. "Let me do it at my speed, ok?"

I nod reluctantly, leading him toward the movie theater. There are only a handful of screens, so it's not too difficult to decide which one to see. I take care of buying our tickets, while Edward finishes his cigarette, then we head inside.

"Do you want popcorn?" I ask. He shakes his head, and I can't eat another bite right now, so we just give our tickets to the ticket-taker, then find the right theater.

Edward chooses seats toward the back and I settle in next to him.

"I didn't know anyone actually still went out to the movies these days," he says quietly. "I thought everyone had Netflix, or whatever it's called."

"You have to wait a few months for movies to come out on Netflix," I enlighten him — though he might be joking, I'm not sure.

I lean over toward him and he meets me halfway, kissing me tenderly. As the lights dim and the previews begin, he places his hand back on my thigh. At some point, his fingers start creeping up underneath my skirt.

I gasp when he touches my panties. "Those feel lacy," he whispers in my ear. I nod dumbly, wondering if he's really going to try to finger me in a movie theater.

And wondering if I'll let him.

Instead, he pulls his hand away, then wraps his arm around my shoulders. I scoot as close to him as I can, interlacing my fingers with his other hand and resting my head on his shoulder. And it's just… really nice. I totally get the appeal of having a boyfriend to share things with.

When the movie has finished, we walk out of the theater, and I blink as my eyes adjust to the light.

"Will you be ok alone for a minute?" I ask. I really need to pee.

"I'm good," he assures me, leaning his back against the wall outside the ladies room.

I take his hand when I come back out, biting my tongue when he lights up another cigarette the moment we've stepped outside. I suppose we _were_ in there for two hours.

We walk back to the truck hand in hand, and I wait for him to finish smoking before climbing inside.

"Did you have a good time?" I ask hesitantly.

"I did," he smiles. "It's good to get out and try to be normal once in a while."

"Once we get to Arizona, you can be normal all the time."

He smiles indulgently. "I can be incognito, maybe, but I won't be normal," he says softly.

As I drive back down the 101 toward Forks, Edward stares out the side window, seemingly lost in his thoughts, and I just let him be.

"Do you remember the road to the meadow?" he asks suddenly.

"I think so. Why? It's too dark to go to the meadow, isn't it? Unless you've got a flashlight."

"Trust me," he smiles, and I really do.

I almost miss the turn-off onto the gravel road, but I see it just in time, making the left turn and following the road until it dead ends.

"Turn off the car."

Confused, I shift into Park and turn the key, then look over to Edward. He unbuckles his seatbelt and crooks his finger at me. Trying to control my smile, I open my own seatbelt and crawl across the seat into his lap, straddling him.

His places his large hands on my waist, and I wind my arms around his neck. I don't even know who makes the first move, but suddenly we're kissing, slow and sensual kisses that are hotter than any that have come before.

Edward somehow sneaks one hand between us, unbuttoning my shirt. He tugs one side of my bra down, then places his hands under my ass, lifting me up until he can reach my breast with his mouth. I cry out, throwing my head back as he licks and sucks my nipple. I bury my fingers in his soft hair — which is getting quite long now.

"Oh God," I yelp when his fingers drift under my skirt, sliding my panties aside and running along my slit. One long finger pushes into me while his thumb works my clit.

Suddenly he lifts his head, kissing me again, his tongue tangling with mine. "You wanted me to do this back in the theater, didn't you?"

"I… I don't know," I manage to reply through the mush that is my mind right now.

"Mmmm…" He stops for a kiss. "I would have, if you'd asked me to."

I try to move closer to Edward, rubbing my bare chest against his t-shirt, kissing him over and over until I feel almost dizzy. All the while, his fingers never let up, not for a second.

"I'm so close," I moan, and he moves them faster, sucking on my neck until I can feel myself clamping down hard on his fingers.

As I come down from my high, he pulls his fingers out, sucking them into his mouth. My eyes widen a little at how erotic that seems.

Edward moves me back a few inches, then reaches down to open his jeans. "Lift up," he says, and I quickly obey, watching as he slides his jeans and underwear down to mid-thigh.

He pulls me closer, sliding my panties out of the way with one hand and taking his cock in the other, positioning it for me. I'm so wet from my orgasm that I slide down easily, kissing him softly while I take a moment to adjust. I start to pull away, but he wraps one hand around the back of my neck, keeping my lips attached to his.

I begin moving up and down and it feels so different from earlier this week in the meadow. This time, we're as close as two people can be. This time, we never stop kissing. Edward's hands are under my skirt, squeezing my ass cheeks as he moves me at the pace he wants, while mine are entangled in his hair again.

I come with a scream, Edward following right behind me. As our movements slow, I pull my hands out of his hair, sliding them to his shoulders as I stare into his eyes. I wish I could read his mind right now.

Eventually I lift up off of his cock, grimacing when I realize his jizz is already leaking out of me. I turn around to open the glove compartment, pulling out some tissues to clean up.

"Sorry," he whispers.

"No, you're not," I reply with a smirk, and he winks. "You've done this before, haven't you?"

"Done what?" he asks as he puts his pants back together.

"Had sex in a car on a date."

He shrugs. "Not in the front seat."

My eyes widen and then I dissolve in giggles. When I've pulled myself together, I lean over and peck his lips. "Happy birthday, Edward."

* * *

**A/N:** So their first real date didn't start out so well, but it ended on a high note. ;)

Edward went to prison in 1997. At the time, I had a car phone that my dad bought for me in 1992, dial-up internet, a computer with 8 MB of RAM (I remember upgrading to 40 MB sometime before 2000 and thinking how much faster it was!) and a Compuserve account, where I spent a lot of time in a Hockey forum. Edward really has missed a lot of technological advances!

Next update on **Tuesday**. Fasten your seatbelts — it starts to get a bit bumpy!

* * *

**Grad Night is nominated for the Top 10 Completed Fics in April 2015 on TwiFanfictionRecs. Please vote if you enjoyed the story! Link on my profile. Remember you can vote every day!**


	6. The Woman

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! We've gained over 200 followers in the past week, so welcome to all of you!

Everyone was happy that their date went well, but there's some worry out there for Bella. And hugs for Edward.

**Thanks to Payton79 for the rec yesterday!**

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 6 — The Woman_

Driving home from my job at Forks Outfitters, I'm excited to spend at least a little bit of time with Edward before Dad is due home from work. But as I near my house, my attention is drawn to a strange car parked in the Cullens' driveway.

I pull my truck into the usual place, my eyes on Edward, who's sitting on the porch, and the woman who's standing a few feet away from him. From here, all I can see is that she's quite petite — perhaps a few inches shorter than my 5'4" — and close to my size. She has medium blonde hair that hangs straight, ending just past her shoulders.

I mess around with the few bags of groceries for far longer than necessary, as I try to figure out what to do. What I really want to do is walk over there and kiss Edward, stake my claim. But his eyes aren't even darting toward me, so I don't think he'd want me to do that. Not to mention the fact that we're trying to keep "us" a secret.

Should I just walk into the house and ignore them? No, I can't do that… I'm too damn curious about who this woman is and how she knows Edward… if she knows him. But he wouldn't talk to me at all the first time I said hello, so that means he probably does know her… right?

Sighing, I open the door and hop out of the truck with my bags.

"Hey, Edward," I call nonchalantly, turning toward the house… and praying that he'll stop me.

"Bella?"

I fist-pump internally, then turn around to face him. The woman looks at me and I notice right away that she's older… like probably in her 40s.

"This is Bella," Edward begins. "She lives next door and… doesn't treat me like a leper. Bella, this is Jane; she's an… old friend."

"It's nice to meet you," I nod politely, glad that my hands are full so that I don't have to shake her hand or something. Old friend? She's clearly too old to have gone to school with Edward.

"Nice to meet you, too," Jane smiles.

"Um, I'd better get these inside." I lift my arms, then turn toward the house. I really, really want to lay claim to Edward, but since he didn't acknowledge me as his girlfriend, I'm pretty sure he doesn't want Jane to know. I don't recognize her as someone who lives in Forks, someone who could potentially tell our parents.

I transfer all of the bags to my left hand, then unlock the door, kicking it closed with my foot. After I've put away anything that needs to go in the fridge or freezer, I move the curtain aside, noticing that Jane is _still_ out there talking to Edward.

Ok, I'm sure there's a good explanation for this and he'll tell me as soon as she's gone. At least they haven't disappeared inside the house. Forcing myself to stop obsessing, I pull the chicken out of the fridge so I can get started on dinner.

I've just about got dinner ready to go into the oven when there's a knock at the door. I rush to answer it, breathing a sigh of relief to see Edward standing on the porch — though he looks more than slightly uncomfortable.

"Hi," he greets me quietly. "Can I come in?"

"Sure, yeah." I step back, letting him come inside. "Um, my dad should be home in about 45 minutes." I head back to the kitchen to finish up and Edward follows me, leaning against the counter while I work.

Once I've set the oven timer, I turn to him, folding my arms over my chest. "Old friend, huh?" He nods. "There's no way that woman went to school with you."

"No," he whispers.

"Was she a teacher when you were in school or something?"

He shakes his head. "Jane isn't from Forks."

"Then how do you know her?"

He stares at the floor, grabbing roughly at his hair. "I can't… tell you right now."

My stomach falls to my feet. "What do you mean you _can't_?"

"I… my shrink doesn't even know about her. I need to… let me talk to him on Saturday and then… I'll tell you if I can."

"Why does your shrink have to know before I do?" I can hear the hurt in my own voice, but fuck it… I'm his girlfriend!

"Please, Bella," he begs. "I just need some more time, please."

Edward bites his lip, and he looks so vulnerable. I want to know what's up with this Jane person, but I want to comfort him more.

"Of course," I acquiesce, stepping closer and wrapping my arms around him. He hugs me back, and when I start to pull away, he grasps my face in his hands and kisses me.

There's something… off about his kisses; they seem almost desperate. But I kiss him back eagerly, giving him what he seems to need.

I yelp as he lifts me up, setting me on the counter. His arms anchor me to him, and I wind my legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

We make out for a while, but he doesn't seem interested in taking this any further. We'd have to hurry anyway, but I'd be down for a quickie. It's been six days since we've had sex and I'm kind of missing him.

Finally, he slows his assault on my mouth, and we trade soft kisses until he pulls back, leaning his forehead against mine.

"Picnic Sunday?" he asks quietly.

"Wouldn't miss it."

* * *

As soon as the coast is clear, I make up a picnic basket and meet Edward for the drive to the meadow. We make the short hike through the forest, and I take the blanket from him, spreading it out on the ground.

Once we've eaten, Edward sits cross-legged, sipping his bottle of water and staring at the trees. I've been good and haven't asked about Jane, though I'm dying of curiosity. All sorts of ideas have been running around in my head. If she's not from Forks, perhaps the Cullens had a vacation home somewhere and he knew her from there? But she's definitely older than him — maybe she babysat him? But why would that be such a big deal that he had to talk to his shrink first?

The only other place Edward has been — that I'm aware of — was prison. Perhaps she was a nurse on staff, or some kind of therapist? Though he's never mentioned getting therapy in prison.

Edward tosses his empty bottle aside, then I watch his long fingers pull a few wildflowers from the ground. He stares at the flowers as he spins the stems in his hand, seeming to be almost at war with himself.

I crawl over to him on my hands and knees, placing my hand over his. "You don't have to tell me."

He looks up at me, gently brushing the tips of his fingers across my cheek. "I keep wondering what will be the thing that makes you run," he says quietly.

"I'm not going to run!" I put my hand over his, entwining our fingers. "You can't scare me away."

He takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "If I tell you… about Jane, you need to promise me that you won't push me. If I tell you to stop, you need to stop."

"Whatever you need," I reply immediately, squeezing his hand.

He stares into my eyes for what feels like an eternity before he nods, letting go of my hand and sliding a few feet away from me. His hands are shaking as he lights up a cigarette; I wisely keep my mouth shut.

He closes his eyes as he blows out a cloud of smoke, then slowly opens them. "Jane was a guard at the prison," he states, as if he's ripping off a Band-Aid.

My eyes widen in shock. That tiny woman was a _guard_ at a maximum security prison? "Seriously? But she's so… small."

He chuckles. "She's apparently a crack shot, and everyone knew it. No one messed with her."

"Was she there the whole time you were in prison?"

He shakes his head. "No, just the first few years. I hadn't seen her since I was… 23, maybe?" he shrugs.

I let out the breath I've been holding, somehow relieved to hear that.

"How old is she?"

"I don't know… late 40s now?" He shrugs again. "Anyway… she was there from the beginning. I never really spoke to her the first couple of years, but she was always nice enough. She didn't seem to hate all of the inmates, not like some of the guards."

He takes another puff of his cigarette, and I notice his hands are shaking badly. It's right up there with our first trip to the meadow, when he told me it was the anniversary of his sentencing. Or during that TV interview he and his parents did, where Jessica said it looked like withdrawals.

He straightens his legs, leaning his elbow on his thigh, and rests his forehead on his palm, looking for all the world like he's going to pass out, or at least be sick. I want to comfort him so badly, but I just instinctually feel that it's the wrong thing to do right now.

"She found me," he whispers, "And she got me help." He swallows thickly. "Sh-she took me under her wing after that… protected me when she could. She convinced the warden or whomever to let me go to the weight room. So I could protect myself.

"She saved my life. I'd be dead if not for Jane. If not at the hands of one of the other inmates, I would've killed myself," he whispers.

I gasp; I had no idea that Edward had contemplated suicide.

From the moment I saw her talking to Edward, I didn't like Jane. Maybe it was jealousy, but I didn't like her. And now I find myself _grateful_ to her.

I want to ask what he meant when he said Jane found him and got him help, but he was so vague that I get the impression that's the very thing he doesn't want me to ask about. I think back to the knife wound on his side, which he'd said happened at least 15 years ago, and the timing seems to fit. I wonder if that's what he meant — that Jane found him after he'd been stabbed, and got him medical attention.

I can't even contemplate anything worse than that.

I start to move toward Edward but he holds up his hand. "There's more," he whispers, staring down at the ground.

"More?" What else could there be?

"Jane saved my life," he repeats, "And… I paid her back with sex."

I stare at him, my mouth hanging open. He — and her?

"What?!"

Edward brings his knees up, wrapping his arms around them, as if he's trying to make himself as small as possible.

"Not-not right away, but… after six months or so."

"For how long?" I whisper, still horrified.

"A couple of years."

"You had sex with Jane for two _years_?"

He nods. "Not… often. I mean, we had to be careful. She would've been fired if someone caught us."

"What ended it?"

"One day she was gone," he says simply. "I never knew if… if she'd been fired, or just moved to a different cell block, or if she'd quit…"

I shake my head, still unable to grasp what he's saying. "I can't believe you had sex with her."

He shrugs. "She was older, but it's not like she was hideous. And… I think she really liked me."

"But she was a guard!" I stare at him for a moment, wondering if he really doesn't get it. "Edward, she took advantage of you."

"She saved my life," he says, shaking his head. "You don't understand."

"Ok, maybe she did, but… that didn't give her the right to make you do… that. She was in a position of power over you. She helped you and made your life easier, but you knew she could've just as easily turned on you. She took advantage of that."

"It was a lot better than the alternative!" he shouts — one of the few times I have ever heard Edward raise his voice.

He buries his face in his knees, and the way he's shaking, I almost wonder if he's crying silent tears.

I slowly crawl on my knees over to him, stopping just inches away. I wait for him to look up or acknowledge me in some way, but he doesn't. And I can't wait until he does.

"Edward? I'm going to touch you." I reach out slowly, placing my hand on his shoulder, then wrap my arms around him, just holding him for a while, until his shaking seems to subside.

"Did you tell your shrink?" I ask quietly, and I feel his nod against my chest. "What did he say?"

"The same thing you did," he rasps. I smile a little bit, though he can't see me, and begin stroking my fingers through his hair.

"Did… Jane tell you why she disappeared?" I ask tentatively.

"She asked for a transfer because she thought one of the other guards was getting suspicious." I'm so glad that she did, because what would have happened to Edward if they'd been found out? I couldn't care less if Jane got fired.

"Why did she come to Forks to see you?"

"She heard that I'd been released and… she said she had to see for herself that I was all right."

My jealousy definitely flares this time, but I try to remain calm. "You've been out of prison for months though," I point out. "What took her so long? Why didn't she come earlier?"

"She said she'd been debating whether or not to come. She wasn't sure if I'd want to see her."

I can't help the little growl that escapes. "She should've stayed the hell away from you."

Edward finally pulls away enough to look up at me. I pretend I don't notice his bloodshot eyes. "She won't be back, Bella," he says softly. "She's happily married now. She left the prison altogether in 2008 when her husband got a new job out of town."

Well, that's definitely a relief, but…

"You didn't want her to know that we're together." Even though I know we need to keep our relationship from everyone in town, I'm still a bit hurt by that. I can't help it; I'm a teenage girl.

"No, I didn't," he says quietly. "Jane's a part of my past — a past that I really, really don't like to ever think about. But you're my future… I hope."

"You hope?" I repeat, my brow furrowed. Though I really like everything else he just said.

He nods. "Like I said, I keep wondering when it'll all be too much for you."

"I am not giving up on you so easily, Edward Cullen. Don't even try to push me away."

He gives me a tiny smile. "I'm not _trying_ to, but… I'm fucked up. Even I don't really know all the ways I'm fucked up. You haven't truly seen one yet, but… I have panic attacks. Sooner or later, you or me or someone else will do something that triggers one."

"And if that happens, we'll work through it," I assure him. "I won't run."

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" he whispers.

"You lived through hell." A hell I'm just beginning to understand.

* * *

**A/N:** Finally Bella learns a little bit of what went on in the prison, and she wishes she hadn't. What do you think of Edward's insistence that Jane saved his life and Bella just doesn't understand? And what is he _not_ telling her?

Next update on **Friday**.

* * *

**Grad Night is nominated for the Top 10 Completed Fics in April 2015 on TwiFanfictionRecs. Please vote if you enjoyed the story! Link on my profile. Remember you can vote every day!**


	7. The Attempt

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! Almost everyone agrees with Bella and Dr. Jenks that Jane took advantage of Edward, even if she did make things better for him.

At least a dozen reviewers were worried that Jane may have disappeared because she was pregnant. Not going this route, I promise! I admit the thought crossed my mind, but that's not what this story is about. Presume Jane brought condoms.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 7 — The Attempt_

It's a conspiracy.

Both Charlie and Edward's dad are at work, Edward's mom is going shopping in Port Angeles after his appointment with his shrink, and I'm only working in the morning, so we can spend some quality time together later this afternoon. _Inside_ time, even, since the weather is not cooperating.

Except I got my period last night. Ugh.

I suppose we can still make out though. And I'd be happy to take care of Edward, to give back some of what he gives me. I mean, I've barely touched his cock with my hand. He shows me how talented his fingers and tongue are, then we have toe-curling sex. It's not a complaint really, but I _want_ to do something for him. He deserves it.

When Edward calls to let me know he's back home and his mom is gone, I grab a few things from my room and rush across both driveways to where he's waiting for me on the side porch.

"Whatcha got?" he asks with a smile as I step inside out of the rain.

"You showed me about your life, so I thought… maybe you'd want to learn about mine?" I reply nervously.

"Sure," he smiles, taking my free hand and leading me toward the stairs. He seems to be in a good mood today.

In his bedroom, I kick my Chucks off and make myself comfortable on the bed. I hand the photo album to Edward, watching as he starts turning the pages.

"When was your birthday?" he asks quietly, looking at the picture of me in my pumpkin suit for my very first Halloween.

"Uh… September 13, 1996."

He looks up sharply, staring at me. "Are you kidding?"

"What? No." I wrinkle my nose… why would I kid about that? "Do you want to see my driver's license?"

Edward just continues to stare at me. "A Friday, right?"

"Yeah, I've been told it was a Friday. It's not like I remember," I chuckle.

"That's the day I was arrested."

My eyes widen and I stare back at Edward. _Shit, shit, shit_… is this bad?

"My life ended the day yours began," he says quietly.

"It's almost like fate or something," I breathe. "But your life didn't _end_, Edward."

"No, I was just put in cold storage to wait for you," he snorts. Shaking his head, he turns back to the photo album. I have to admit, he's kinda right about that. If he'd never been arrested, he'd probably be married with two-point-five kids by now.

"You were so young when your mom disappeared from the photos."

"Oh… yeah. My dad was lucky that his best friend's wife was staying home with their new baby and was able to watch me while he worked."

"Were you clumsy?" he asks, looking up at me. "I swear, you have Band-Aids all over your legs in most of the pictures."

"Horribly clumsy," I admit. "I used to trip over thin air. I finally got over that by the time I hit high school, thankfully."

Edward gives me a crooked grin, turning back to the album. I cringe at the ones from my early teenage awkward phase, with frizzy hair and a mouth full of metal.

"Not many pictures from the last few years," he notes.

"Well, cameras are all digital now. I have photos on my phone, and on my computer, but no one bothers to print them out anymore. We have a machine at work where you can do that; I just never got around to it," I shrug.

When he's finished, I take the photo album and hand Edward the second book, a scrapbook my dad has kept of my school report cards and things like that. I've always gotten good grades, and in some situations, I'd be embarrassed to show them to people, but I know that Edward did well in school, too.

He smiles as he flips the pages, and I wonder what he's thinking.

"You won a lot of Science awards," he notes.

"Yeah," I shrug.

"I never asked what you plan to major in," he laughs. "Are you gonna make enough money to take care of me?" he asks with a wink.

I know he's joking, but I find myself grinning from ear to ear, just hearing him talk about a real future with me.

"Um, I'm planning to major in Sustainable Built Environments, with an emphasis on Sustainable Communities." I watch for Edward's reaction, but he just stares at me blankly.

"Should I have any clue what that is?"

I chuckle. "I've already explained it to half of Forks High, so, _no_. It's through the College of Architecture, Planning &amp; Landscape Architecture."

"So it's a fancy name for an architect?" His confusion looks so cute.

"No, it's more about understanding environmental design and planning. It's about how to build without wrecking our environment, how to be more energy efficient and save the planet. I guess no one cared about saving the planet back in the '90s," I chuckle.

"We had Earth Day," he shrugs. "That's a… that's a really admirable career, Bella."

"So is being a doctor," I point out.

"Yeah… but I'm not going to be a doctor."

"Ok," I concede. "I just want you to be happy with whatever you choose to be and not feel like you're settling."

"I just need time to figure out what that is, you know?"

"You can take all the time you need," I reply, reaching over to brush his hair out of his eyes. It's getting so long now. "You haven't cut your hair since you came home, have you?"

He shakes his head. "I doubt anyone in Forks would do it."

"I like it long like this," I admit, sitting back. "The messy look is in these days; it's hot."

Edward smirks, leaning forward on his hands so that his face is inches from mine.

"You think I'm hot?"

_God, yes._ He sounds so… playful, and I'm immediately caught up in his spell.

"Bella?" he prompts.

"Yes, I think you're hot… For an old guy," I add cheekily.

I shriek, laughing, as Edward more or less tackles me to the bed. He takes my hands in his, holding them up above my head.

"Old, huh? I'll show you old," he growls.

His lips descend on mine, his tongue fighting for access, which I grant readily. In the back of my brain, a little voice is trying to remind me of something, but the only thing that matters right now is kissing Edward.

He lets me go just long enough to pull my shirt over my head, then goes straight back to my mouth, somehow managing to remove my bra before taking my hands again.

My lips feel swollen by the time he begins licking and sucking his way down my neck. Finally he lets go of me, taking one of my breasts in each of his large hands so that he has perfect access to my nipples.

When both nipples are hard little peaks, Edward's hands trail down my stomach, and I feel him pop the button on my jeans.

And the little voice gets a little louder. _You're forgetting something, Bella._

"Mmm… we need to stop," I mumble and his hands immediately still on my zipper. He looks up at me, and I can see the confusion written all over his face.

"It's, um… I have my period," I tell him, feeling like you could fry an egg on my face right now. "I'm sorry," I cringe. "Your kisses rendered me stupid and I forgot to warn you we can't do anything."

Blowing out a breath, he flops onto his back, lying next to me.

"I'm sorry," I say again.

"Not your fault," he shrugs. "I've had girlfriends before; I know the drill."

I turn toward Edward, leaning up on one elbow. "That doesn't mean we can't do _anything_," I suggest, looking down at the bulge in his jeans. "I could still… take care of you."

Edward turns his head to stare at me. He's not saying anything and I start to get a little nervous.

"We don't have to," I assure him, "But I want to."

"You do?" he whispers.

I nod. "I want to make you feel as good as you've made me feel. Would that be ok?"

"I-I guess."

He lifts his shoulders off the bed, tugging his shirt over his head, then lies back. I get up to my knees, straddling his waist, then lean down to kiss him.

In no time, our kisses are as heated as they were just a few minutes ago. Edward arms anchor me to him, his hands touching every inch of my skin they can reach. When I need to breathe, I break away from his lips, dropping kisses all over his amazing jawline, then slide down the bed a bit, licking a trail to his chest.

Edward's chest is so manly, so different from whenever I've happened to get a glimpse of one of the boys in school without a shirt — at the beach, or sometimes at a sporting event or after gym class. He has a fair amount of chest hair, and while I like the way it looks, I'm a bit afraid of getting some in my mouth as I kiss my way from one nipple to the other.

I spread my hands over his torso, drawing them down to the top of the perfect V that disappears into his jeans, along with his happy trail. Perfect. His body is fucking perfect.

"Are you just gonna sit there and drool?" he asks with a grin. I know I'm blushing when he chuckles. "Move," he directs.

I start to reach for the button fly on his jeans, but he shakes his head, then motions to his right. I hurriedly climb off, letting Edward remove his jeans and underwear.

I take a moment to stare at the rest of his body as it's revealed — strong thighs, capped off by a downright _pretty_ cock, nestled among reddish-brown hair.

I want to touch it.

"Show me," I whisper, putting my hand in Edward's. He wraps my hand around his cock, showing me how to grip it, how much pressure to use as I pump from base to tip. When I've mastered that, he shows me how to use my thumb on the sensitive head, the same way he sometimes does to my nipples.

"Lick it so it slides easier," he says, bringing my hand to my mouth, then letting go of it. I follow his instructions, then start working his cock again.

I alternate between watching what I'm doing and watching Edward's face. Every once in a while he moans words of encouragement or curses. Eventually he swallows a few times, tipping his head back, eyes closed, and his breathing gets heavier.

I want to do more for him though. I've heard girls at school talk about how much guys love when they give head. He seems to be liking the hand job, so…

I lick my lips, then open my mouth wide as I bend down. I slide my lips around the head of Edward's cock, then down, down, down, trying to reach where my hand is gripping the base.

There's one thing I didn't count on: Edward's cock is kinda long.

And it hits the back of my throat.

And triggers my gag reflex.

Gagging, I immediately pull my mouth off, coughing and sputtering for a few moments. "Sorry," I whisper, beyond embarrassed at my failure.

Undaunted, I try again, not going nearly as far this time. In fact, I hardly go further than the mushroom head. This much, I can handle. I bob up and down a few times, when I start to get the feeling that something is… off.

It's too quiet. Edward isn't moaning and whispering profanities anymore. He's still breathing hard, but… maybe it's _too_ hard. More like hyperventilating.

_Fuck!_ I immediately pull my mouth off his cock, looking up at his face. His eyes are squeezed tightly shut, and he can hardly catch his breath.

"Edward?" The moment my hand lets go of his cock, he brings his knees up, rolling to his side in some sort of fetal position, his hands over his face.

"Edward!" He doesn't seem to hear me, so I reach out to touch his knee.

"Don't touch me!" he screams, his entire body shaking.

"Edward, it's me, it's Bella. What's wrong? What happened? What can I do to help you?"

No response at all.

"Try to take deep breaths, Edward." I'm afraid he's going to pass out if his breathing doesn't slow.

I watch him for a few seconds, tears streaming down my face. Oh my God, what have I done?

"Sh-should I call your dad?" I cry. "I don't know what to do for you. Oh God…"

His hands slide up, tearing at his hair, his breaths shuddering like maybe he's trying to control them. I wish I could touch him, comfort him… shouldn't that _help_?

"That's it, Edward, just try to take deep breaths," I encourage him.

His entire body seems to be covered by a light sheen of sweat and his knuckles are white, but his breathing does seem to be slowing. "That's it… you're doing it… you're coming back to me." The urge to touch him is so strong, but I resist.

When his hands slowly move from his hair, I breathe a sigh of relief. I think he's going to be ok.

I sit still as a statue, waiting for Edward to open his eyes. And when he finally does, I almost wish he hadn't. He looks… devastated.

"Are you ok?" I whisper, brushing away my tears.

Suddenly he scrambles off the bed, unsteadily walking toward the door of the bedroom. He opens it, then disappears from my view.

Perhaps 10 seconds later, I hear the shower turn on. Ok, so he's taking a shower; he was all sweaty, after all.

Realizing I'm still topless, I find where he tossed my bra earlier and put it on, then hunt around for my shirt. I get up to grab a tissue from the box on the desk and wipe the tears from my face, then blow my nose.

And then I wait.

I don't understand what exactly went wrong. He was enjoying it when I used my hand, wasn't he? Surely a shitty blowjob shouldn't cause a panic attack!

Or should it? Is it because I didn't ask first, or warn him? Like how he doesn't want to be touched if he doesn't see it coming. His eyes were closed when I took him in my mouth, I think, so that must be it. I startled him.

Still, his reactions when I've touched him before haven't been like _that_; he's just moved quickly away from my touch.

Unless… unless… God, no! No, no, no… _please_ let me be wrong.

I hear the water turn off and blow out a long breath. He'll be back soon, and I have no idea what I'm going to face. I sit nervously, staring at the door as I wait for Edward.

He comes back a minute or two later, wearing only a towel that he's holding around his waist. He stops short, just inside the doorway, gazing over at me.

"What are you still doing here?" he rasps.

My brow furrows. "Waiting for you." Duh.

He shakes his head. "You need to go."

"What? Why?"

"Because I don't want you here."

My stomach falls to my feet. "I don't understand. I don't want to leave you."

"Just go, Bella!" he shouts.

I sit in stunned silence for a moment, before crawling off the bed, tears pricking at my eyes. I slide my feet into my shoes and grab my things, keeping one eye on Edward the entire time. But he's staring at the floor, not looking at me.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, scurrying out of the bedroom.

I run down the stairs, nearly tripping, then go out the side door. It's still raining, so I jog to my own front porch, letting myself into the house.

By the time I've reached my room, I'm openly sobbing. Edward was in such a good mood today; we were having fun, and then… we weren't.

And the worst thing is, I know it's somehow my fault.

What the hell have I done?

* * *

**A/N:** Well, that went well. Poor Bella isn't sure exactly what she did wrong, but she knows she did _something_.

Bella's college major is real. You can find it on the University of Arizona's website. I also majored in something that I had to explain to everyone in my high school. And then after I graduated, everyone kept asking my poor younger brother.

Next update on **Tuesday**.

* * *

**Grad Night is nominated for the Top 10 Completed Fics in April 2015 on TwiFanfictionRecs. Please vote if you enjoyed the story! Link on my profile. Remember you can vote every day!**


	8. The Apology

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! Glad to see everyone still with me as more of Edward's past comes to light.

I know some of you are looking for groveling from Edward!

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 8 — The Apology_

It's times like these that I wish my relationship with Edward wasn't a secret. I wish I had someone to talk to about what happened on Tuesday, but I don't. I don't have a close enough relationship with my mom that I talk to her about _boys_ anyway, but if it was anyone other than Edward, I know I'd be able to talk to my best friend, Angela.

I haven't seen Edward in the last four days, not even smoking outside on the porch. He's pulled this kind of disappearing act before, of course, but somehow I expected things to be different now that we're officially a couple. I expected him to call me or come over at the first opportunity on Wednesday, but he didn't.

I'm stuck in some weird kind of limbo. I don't want to push Edward, but I know I'm not going to wait three weeks to try to talk to him again, either.

Unless it was moved due to the holiday, he should have had an appointment with his shrink earlier this afternoon, so I hope that Dr. Jenks gave Edward the push he needs to reach out to me. I assume they talked about what happened, since Jenks knows that Edward and I are seeing each other.

But I also know that Jenks doesn't think that's a good idea. What if he used this incident to convince Edward that he shouldn't be in a relationship? What if it's over between us?

_God, stop it, Bella._

I'm not this insecure girl, but… some part of me wonders if Edward and his doctor are right — what if I'm in way over my head here?

I've never felt so scared and helpless as I did watching Edward having a panic attack. He'd told me that it happened sometimes, but… I had just sort of dismissed it. Maybe he should've volunteered it, but I could've asked him what I should do if the worst ever happened.

And as much as it makes me sick to my stomach to even think about, I have to admit to myself that Edward most likely wasn't just _physically_ assaulted in prison. He freaked out and had the first panic attack I've witnessed while I was giving him a blowjob — that's gotta mean something.

"Bells!" my dad's voice and his fist pounding on my bedroom door pull me from my introspection.

"Yeah?" I call.

Dad opens the door, peering inside at where I lie sprawled on my bed, my arms wrapped around a pillow. "Are you feeling ok? I've hardly seen you out of your room in days."

"Uh… female issues," I tell a half-truth, since going on birth control has all but eliminated the bad cramps I used to get.

He wrinkles his nose, taking a step back with his hands up in surrender. I knew that excuse would work.

"Do you feel up to going out tonight, to see the fireworks display in Tillicum Park? Billy's coming with all three kids. Rachel and Rebecca are both home from college for the summer.

Dad knows better than to mention Billy's son, Jacob, who is two years younger than me. I swear he used to follow me around like he was my shadow. He still would, if I'd let him.

"So what do you say?" Dad asks, a hopeful look on his face.

I really don't feel like going, but I know I'll be leaving my dad, likely for good, in another six weeks or so. I should spend some time with him this summer.

"Sure," I agree. "Let me put on some less grungy clothes and I'll meet you downstairs."

He closes the door and I sigh, throwing my legs off the side of the bed. I replace my shorts with jeans and grab a t-shirt that doesn't have holes in it, then run a brush through my hair and head downstairs.

Dad and I walk outside and I frown as he heads toward his police cruiser. I grab the blanket from my truck then get in with him, albeit reluctantly. Ugh, I _hate_ riding with Dad.

We turn north onto the 101, driving toward almost the end of town before turning into the park. At least in the cruiser, we can park close, near the handicapped spots and Billy's truck.

Dad gets out his phone to call Billy, and we walk through the crowd that's already gathered. With sunset after 9pm, the fireworks won't be starting for another 45 minutes or so.

It's not hard to spot Billy and his family, thanks to Billy's wheelchair. He's been in that for about six years now, since he was injured in the car accident that killed his wife, Sarah.

"Bells," Jacob smiles at me with his unnaturally white teeth as we approach. "Good to see you again, Charlie." Always sucking up to my dad.

I say hello to Rachel and Rebecca, but I'm not really in the mood for socializing tonight. I spread out my blanket, making small talk with the girls, if only to avoid Jacob, while my dad chats with one of his deputies.

"Well, I'll be damned," the deputy says suddenly, "Look who showed up."

I look around in the direction he's facing, spotting Edward walking in from the parking area. Flanked by his parents, he's smoking and looking totally uncomfortable. I can't believe they brought him here with this crowd.

We lock eyes and I wish more than ever that I could read his mind.

"Hello, Charlie," Dr. Cullen says, stopping when they reach our little group.

"Carlisle," Dad nods. He glances over toward Edward, who's now staring at his feet. "Would you, uh, like to join us?"

"That would be lovely," Esme says with a smile. "Thank you. Hello, Bella."

"Hi, Mrs. Cullen," I greet her quietly. My dad makes the rest of the introductions, but it's not like Billy and his kids don't know who they are. _Everyone_ knows who they are — even though the Blacks live on the nearby Quileute reservation and not in Forks proper.

"Sit down, Edward," his mother suggests, and he tosses his cigarette to the ground, stubbing it out with his shoe. He gracefully lowers his body to sit beside me on the blanket, with his knees up and his arms wrapped around them. I feel my face flush as I remember having sex with him on this blanket.

It's starting to get pretty dark out, but I can still feel the stares of everyone in the park who can see the Cullens sitting with us. At least with two cops here, no one should give Edward any trouble.

I want to talk to him, but there's no way I can do that with so many people around. At least, I can't say anything that needs to be said.

Jacob, Rachel and Rebecca are pretty much all staring at him, open-mouthed, but I'm not going to ignore him.

"Are you looking forward to the fireworks?" I ask him.

He bites his lip, nodding. "My first in 19 years."

_God_, I want to reach out and hug him so badly.

A loud boom turns everyone's attention to the sky, and I smile for the first time in days as the colorful fireworks erupt one after another.

Twenty minutes later, the display is over and the crowd begins to disperse. I don't move though, content to just be a foot away from Edward.

"You about ready to go, Bells?" my dad asks.

I reluctantly stand up, followed by Edward, who helps me fold up the blanket. When he stands close enough, I lean up to whisper in his ear, "Dad is fishing tomorrow." He twines our pinkies together for a moment as he hands the blanket off to me, giving me a tiny smile.

And I feel like maybe, everything is going to be ok.

* * *

It's just after 1pm when someone knocks on the front door. I stop putting my dishes away, rushing to answer it.

When I see Edward standing on the porch, I let out the breath I've been holding for the last five days. While I've known he's ok since I saw him last night, I needed him to willingly come to me.

"Can I come in?" he asks quietly.

"Of-of course!" I step back out of the way, allowing him to come inside. "Um, do you want to go upstairs?"

He nods and I lead him up to my room, closing and locking the door behind us. I take a seat on the bed, frowning when Edward sits on my desk chair, turning it to face me.

"Um," he begins, his right hand tearing at his hair, "I-I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have yelled at you and made you leave."

"Apology accepted."

"I'm not done yet," he replies, grimacing a little. "I'm sorry for being MIA since Tuesday. I'm sorry for the way I reacted. But most of all, I'm sorry I can't be the man you need."

"What?!" No! No, I thought the way we'd parted yesterday was a _good_ sign.

"You got a pretty good look at just how fucked up I am. You deserve so much better," he says fervently, staring into my eyes.

"But I want _you_!" I protest.

"I'm giving you an out, Bella." He sounds kind of choked up.

"I don't want an out! So you had a panic attack… it's not like you hadn't warned me it could happen. I should also be apologizing to _you_. I should've asked you in advance what I could do to help if that ever happened. And it goes without saying that I shouldn't have done… whatever I did to cause that."

He starts shaking his head back and forth. "You didn't cause it; you triggered it, yes, but that isn't your fault."

"Why didn't you stop me before I went too far?"

Edward shrugs. "I didn't know about that trigger," he says ruefully.

"So it wasn't just because I didn't warn you first?"

"No," he sighs, "Not… directly, I guess."

"So what did I do? I need to remember not to do it again," I grin nervously.

He pales, staring at me for a moment. "I can't," he whispers. "I can't tell you."

"How am I supposed to avoid your triggers if you won't tell me what they are?"

"You don't have to worry; we just won't get into a situation like that again."

"You mean I can't give you a blowjob _at all_?" I frown. "I just want to make you feel good, feel special, like you do for me."

He stares at me again, then rubs his forehead. "Maybe… maybe we can try again. Someday, not now. I know what _not_ to do, at least. Next time, you'll have to let me tell you exactly what to do."

"I can do that," I reply eagerly, grinning from ear to ear. "So… we're ok?"

"I was never upset with you, Bella. I just… I needed to be alone. I thought you'd leave while I was in the shower. I thought you'd be so freaked out that you…"

"That I'd what? Give up on you?" He nods, and it almost breaks my heart. "That's not going to happen."

Edward slowly stands up, walking over to the bed and lying beside where I'm sitting. He looks around my bedroom, then smirks. "This doesn't look like any teenage girl's bedroom that I've ever been in."

"Maybe I'm not like most teenage girls," I reply, allowing him to change the subject.

I stretch out, watching him carefully as I cuddle up next to him, my head on his shoulder and my arm around his stomach. It feels so good to be able to touch him again.

He laces his fingers with mine, squeezing gently. "I've missed you," he whispers.

"I've missed you too… so much."

We lie there together for a while, until I feel his kiss on the top of my head. I lean up, gently touching my lips to his.

As I pull away, Edward follows, rolling me onto my back. He kisses me again, and again… and soon I'm as lost as ever as his tongue explores my mouth. I wrap my arms around him, rubbing up and down his back, just so eager to touch him.

I start moving my hands up underneath his shirt when suddenly he rolls away, grasping it and pulling it over his head. He resumes kissing me and I bask in the feel of his skin under my hands.

I feel his hands at the hem of my t-shirt, and then he finally stops to look up at me.

I nod that we're good to go now, and he removes my shirt and bra, then reminds me of his talented tongue. "Edward, I need you," I moan after he spends what feels like hours showering my breasts with attention.

Moving quickly to unzip my jeans, he pulls them off, along with my panties. He strips off the rest of his own clothes, then comes back to my mouth, kissing me deeply while his fingers touch between my legs.

"Please," I beg at the first opportunity, not even caring how desperate I sound. He smiles, taking his cock and rubbing it along my slit, before pushing it inside.

I moan embarrassingly loudly, but it's been over two weeks, and he just feels so damn good.

"Sometimes I think you were made for me," he whispers. He begins thrusting slowly and I feel every single inch of him.

"Maybe I was."

He smiles, kissing me again, while I wrap my legs and arms tightly around him, holding him to me. I love being this close to him — feeling his weight on me and his skin sliding against mine.

I cling to Edward's shoulders as we make love — and yes, that's what this feels like. I don't think he's ready to hear it, but I'm ready to admit to myself that I'm rapidly falling in love with Edward, if not already there.

When he speeds up his movements, I know he must be getting close. He curls his arms under my shoulders, arching my back as he takes one of my nipples in his mouth again.

"Edward…" I moan, knowing I'm right on the edge. He reaches down between us with one hand and I feel my orgasm rush through me.

"Fuck," he groans, coming deep inside me.

Edward collapses on top of me and I relish his weight on me. Finally, he sighs, rolling off of me. Wrapping his arm around my waist, he pulls me toward him until my back is against his front, then pulls up the covers. He places a soft kiss on my shoulder and I close my eyes, relaxing for the first time in days.

* * *

Soft lips on my neck and fingers on my hip wake me up sometime later.

"Can I?" Edward whispers.

I have no idea what he's asking for, but I'd give him the world.

His fingers trail from my hip to between my thighs, darting in and out of my entrance and rubbing small circles that make me moan with pleasure. All of a sudden he lifts my thigh over his leg, and I feel his cock replacing his fingers inside me.

This time his thrusts are slow and shallow, his fingers circling my clit while his lips suck on my neck. I turn my head toward him and he kisses me, his tongue matching the speed of his cock.

When we come together, it's no less intense than the last time. His arms wrap around me, holding me close, his softening cock still inside me. I feel like I could stay like this forever; this moment makes every single thing worth it.

"Bells?" a muffled voice breaks my reverie. _Fuck!_

I pull away from Edward, looking back over my shoulder at his panicked face. "Get your clothes and get in the closet," I whisper, grabbing my t-shirt off the floor and shrugging it over my head. I don't give a shit about my bra right now.

My panties are still inside my jeans, and I'm stepping into both when I hear the knock at the door.

"Bells?" Thank _God_ I locked the door earlier.

'Yeah?" I call, zipping my jeans as Edward ducks into the closet.

"Why is the door locked?"

I quickly run my fingers through my hair, then take a deep breath, letting it out as I move to open the door.

"Hey, Dad," I greet him as easily as I can. "I was, uh, just taking a nap."

I see him looking through the doorway at my rumpled bed. "Are you still feeling sick?"

"Yeah."

"I don't suppose you want to make dinner?"

At my grimace, he nods. "Maybe I'll just order a pizza after I get out of these dirty clothes."

"Sounds good."

I watch as Dad walks down the hall to his own bedroom, closing the door. And then I rush to the closet, motioning for Edward to follow me. We tiptoe into the hallway, then down the stairs. I take his arm as we walk to the front door, then breathe a sigh of relief when he steps out onto the porch.

"See you tomorrow," he whispers, kissing me quickly.

I close the door behind him, leaning my backside against it as I exhale heavily. I'm headed back toward the stairs when my dad appears at the top of them. "Bells? What are you doing down there?"

"Uh… I needed a drink of water," I lie.

"What do you want on your pizza? How about hamburger and bacon?"

"How about just one of the two?" I counter. As he disappears back into his room, I decide I really need that drink of water after all. Or maybe one of my dad's beers.

* * *

**A/N:** A narrow escape there!

So what are we thinking now? It took him a few days, but Edward did show up to apologize. And he didn't "New Moon" her, though he was giving her the opportunity to say she couldn't handle it. Only Bella had a different revelation later!

Next update on **Friday**. FYI, this story will be 36 chapters in total (34 regular chapters and two epilogues). I'd told some readers 35, but I wrote a new one this weekend. Now I'm really done.

* * *

**Grad Night is nominated for the Top 10 Completed Fics in April 2015 on TwiFanfictionRecs. Please vote if you enjoyed the story! Link on my profile. Remember you can vote every day!**


	9. The Outing

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! Funny how many of you have stories of almost getting caught in compromising positions!

Everyone was happy to see Edward come back on his own and not try to New Moon her, even if he didn't grovel.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 9 — The Outing_

As soon as my dad leaves for work Monday morning, I peek out the kitchen window, spotting Edward in his usual place on the porch once again. I quickly put on my Chucks and head over to him.

"Your jeans were all in the wash?" I ask, my brow furrowing at the black track pants he's wearing.

He blows out a cloud of smoke, then shakes his head. "Dad's home. Putting these on was my excuse to sneak away with you."

I stare at him blankly. "I don't get it."

"Jenks suggested that I start running again, so…" He shrugs, and I get it now; his dad will think he's gone for a run if he checks on Edward and he's not here.

"Running like you did in high school?" I ask. That actually sounds like a great idea.

"Not quite," he chuckles. "I was mostly a sprinter; I rarely ran anything longer than the 400-yard dash. I think… for now I'll start with walking fast, maybe work my way up to jogging."

Edward tosses his cigarette then stands up. "Want to go for a walk?" he asks with a smile.

"Won't someone see us?"

"There's a path through the forest."

I look at the dense trees that come all the way up to the end of the street, frowning. Dad has always warned me against going back there. He's always said there are bears, but I wonder now if it's more because of where Bree's body was found.

"What, are you afraid to go into the woods with me?"

I frown at Edward, hitting his arm lightly. "I've been in the woods with you before."

He motions with his head for me to follow him, and we walk through a small break in the trees onto a worn trail. I take Edward's hand as soon as we're out of sight of the road and he smiles at me.

"I think it's great that Jenks wants you to start running again. It might really help you to… I don't know… find some kind of peace?

"And, you know… exercise will help you keep that hot body," I admit.

I squeal as Edward spins me around, backing me into the nearest tree trunk. He lifts me up and I wind my legs around his waist. "Hot body, huh?" he whispers, then places his lips on mine. I coil my arms around his neck, eagerly kissing him back. I could do this all day long.

Edward finally pulls away, leaning his forehead against mine. "I can't get enough of you," he whispers.

"I'm not complaining," I reply, tracing my index finger over his red, swollen lips. "You have such pretty lips."

Suddenly the expression on his face darkens, and he pulls away, letting my feet drop to the ground.

"What is it?" Instead of answering me, he shakes his head, turning back toward the path. "Edward?"

"Nothing… I'm fine. Come on." He holds out his hand for me to take, and we continue along the trail, quiet for a few moments. I'm not sure what I said, or if he's really fine, but he obviously doesn't want to discuss it.

"So, how many times have you almost been caught in a girlfriend's bedroom?" I ask, trying to change the subject. I don't even want to know what would've happened if Charlie had caught him naked with me yesterday.

Edward chuckles quietly. "Um… I had to sneak out a bedroom window once. Thank God the house was only a ranch."

"Really?" He nods. "How-how many girls were you with back in high school?" Call it morbid curiosity on my part. I am not jealous; I'm not.

He shrugs. "Depends how you define 'with.' If you mean dated, then… at least 10 to 12. But if you mean had sex with, there were four."

"Was Tanya your first?" I ask curiously.

"Losing my virginity, you mean? No."

Edward stops walking and takes both of my hands. "You really want to hear this?" he asks, one eyebrow raised.

"I want to know you, remember?"

"Ok," he nods, taking a deep breath. "I started dating, if you can call it that, back in eighth grade. Basically that meant having a milkshake together at the diner," he remembers. "My 'first' was a girl named Irina, my sophomore year. We were together about six months, until she moved away in July."

"Why did she move?"

"Her parents were divorced and she went to live with her dad, in Alaska. Her mom was an alcoholic and got into an accident, got sent to rehab."

"Oh." I wrinkle my nose. I didn't want Edward to remember a sad story, though I'm glad Irina is no longer in Forks. Maybe I'm a tiny bit jealous.

"Tanya was next, then we broke up when she cheated on me, like I told you. After that… well, my rebound thing was sleeping with Tia, the ex-girlfriend of the guy Tanya had cheated on me with. And then Kate.

"I wasn't a… what do you call it now? Manwhore? I could've been, I guess… I had opportunity, but it wasn't me."

"I'm glad." I brush my hand along his jaw and he smiles at me.

"How come you've never had a boyfriend? Why did you feel that dating any of the guys here would've been settling?"

"They're just so different from me," I explain. "Most of the kids I went to school with have no ambition to ever leave Forks. They'll be happy with a minimum wage job. Or if they do go on to college, it's usually just to U-Dub, and then they plan to come back to Forks and take over doing whatever their parents do or something."

"And you want to change the world," he smiles.

"Not quite, but… I do hope to leave the world a better place than the one I was born into. I want to make a difference."

Edward frowns, taking a step back from me.

"What's wrong?"

"Is that…" he stops, swallowing thickly, "Is that what you see in me? Some way that you can make a difference?"

"What?!" I shout. "No, of course not!"

"Be honest, Bella."

I sigh, frowning. Honest. Ok.

"I saw the interview you and your parents did, the day after you came home. You just looked so _lost_. And yes, I wanted to help you.

"But even those short interactions we had… I could see that you have such a beautiful soul, Edward. That's what really attracted me to you. That's why I'm with you. You're not a pet project for me. Please believe that."

He squeezes his eyes closed, tearing at his hair for a moment. "I'm sorry," he whispers. "I just don't get it sometimes, why you'd want someone as fucked up as me."

"Because I care about you! God, I was so afraid that your shrink would use what happened to convince you to break up with me," I confess.

"He barely managed to avoid saying 'I told you so,'" Edward replies, frowning. "But I wouldn't have listened to him, Bella. I couldn't. I'm too fucking selfish to walk away from you… unless it's what _you_ want."

"It's _not_," I reply fervently. "It's not what I want. I can't imagine being away from you. I was so happy just to see you Saturday night. Not seeing your face at all for four days is far too long."

"I was happy to see you, too," he admits, making me smile.

"I couldn't believe your parents talked you into coming out with all those people in the park."

Edward grimaces. "I wanted to go, I wanted to see the fireworks. The people terrified me. Sitting by you made it better though… even if I couldn't touch you."

"I'm glad." I smile at Edward, then take a step closer, throwing my arms around him. He hugs me back, and I know that we'll make it.

* * *

On Friday afternoon, Edward and I leave for another date in Port Angeles. I wear my skirt again, hoping to get lucky.

"So what are your parents doing tonight?" I ask as we head north out of town. My dad is working a late shift today and won't be home until around midnight.

"They're getting together with some friends in Hoquiam for Mom's birthday tomorrow."

"Your parents have friends down in Hoquiam?" That just seems odd to me, for some reason.

"People they met at a support group for parents who have children in prison," he explains quietly.

"Oh."

"At least they didn't get thrown out of the group when I was released," he tries to joke.

We chat about everything and nothing until we reach the outskirts of Port Angeles. "So what did you have in mind?" I ask. "It's a bit early for dinner."

"We're going to look at used cars," he announces.

"You're getting a car?!"

"Not today," he explains. "I should be getting the money from the State in a couple of weeks, then I can buy a car. But I figured we could see what's available today; I don't know much if anything about the features on newer models."

"You're getting $900,000, right?"

"A lot more than that."

"But I thought my dad said it was $50,000 per year?"

He nods. "Double if you were on death row, plus court and attorney's fees." My eyes widen. He's getting nearly two million dollars? "That's actually what held it up this long," he continues as if I'm not freaking out. "My parents had to go back and find receipts for everything they paid my lawyer over the years. The first thing I'll do is pay them back."

"Wow…"

"Anyway, there is no way this truck of yours is going to make the drive to Tucson. You can barely go over 45."

"I thought you liked my truck," I pout.

"I do, but… we need more reliable transportation before we leave town."

"Ok," I reluctantly agree, though I'm doing an internal happy dance after hearing him say that "we" will be driving to Arizona. I was a little bit afraid that he may have changed his mind.

When I make the left turn to go past the courthouse, Edward closes his eyes, not opening them again until we've made the right turn onto First Street. We drive a mile or so through the center of town, until we've reached the part of town with two used car dealers and numerous fast food restaurants.

I turn into one of the used car lots, parking my truck. Edward hops out, lighting up a cigarette before I can reach him to take his hand.

"So what kind of car do you want? Or do you want an SUV or a pick-up or something? What did you drive in high school?"

"I had a 1995 Pontiac Firebird before. At some point, I told my parents they could sell it."

"You can't get one of those; I don't think they've made them in a long time."

"I know," he replies, turning down one of the aisles.

We spend a few minutes looking at all of the vehicles on the lot, but I swear 90% of them are pick-ups — which I drive now, so it's not like that's a bad thing. Edward, however, does not agree.

And so we drive across the street to the second dealership, which also sells new cars. Edward could certainly afford one of those, though I don't know if he wants to spend that much.

This dealer also has a lot more used vehicles available than the first one. I'm trying not to get bored as we walk up and down the aisles; I'm so not into cars.

"Can I help you?" a salesman asks, coming up to us. "Are you looking for a car for your daughter?"

My eyes widen. He did not just say that. Edward looks stunned as well and doesn't reply. "My boyfriend and I are just browsing," I finally say, taking Edward's hand once I've recovered enough to speak.

At least the man has the decency to look embarrassed. "Just let me know if you need any help," he says, scurrying away.

"I can't believe he thought you were my father," I grumble once he's out of earshot.

"It's gonna happen, Bella," Edward says matter-of-factly. I almost detect a note of sadness in his voice.

"Well it _shouldn't_. To me, you look 10 years younger than you actually are."

Shaking his head, Edward tugs on my hand, leading me down yet another aisle filled with SUVs.

"This one isn't bad," he says suddenly, peering at the info on the window. "It's a 2010 Chevy Equinox — $18,000, about 44,000 miles — that's not too many."

"I like it," I agree. "Nice shade of red." Because that's what counts.

As we walk back to my truck, Edward suddenly detours to peek at a white Corvette. "Wow, a 1993," he smiles lovingly at the thing and I roll my eyes. "I wanted one of these in high school, and my parents were game with letting me have a sports car, but not one that expensive."

He turns to me. "Would you be ok with something like that Equinox? You're gonna have to drive it to Tucson, after all, since I still don't have a license. I figure I'll get an Arizona one after we move."

"I could drive that," I nod. "I like big red vehicles," I grin. He smiles and we head back to my truck.

"Should we get dinner now?" Edward asks as we get in.

"Sure. Do you want one of the fast food places or something else?"

"Pizza, maybe?" he suggests. "I think I saw a place on the way here."

I'm ok with that, so I drive back on Front Street, turning at what I hope is the right intersection. I find the nearest parking lot, frowning as Edward lights up yet another cigarette as soon as we've hopped out.

"I see that frown," he mutters.

"I don't like you killing yourself."

"I need it to be out in public, ok?"

"Are you just afraid someone will recognize you, or is it something else?" I ask cautiously.

He grimaces. "I don't want to be recognized, but… I just don't like being around a lot of people. I don't like situations I can't control."

We walk over to the restaurant while Edward finishes his cigarette. He holds the door for me, and this time I ask the hostess up front for a booth.

"So, do you prefer booths for the privacy?" I ask after we've been seated. "So no one sees you?"

"Partially," he nods, grabbing us two menus from the holder at the end of the table.

"And what else?" I ask, given that he was actually forthcoming a few minutes ago.

He sighs, looking up at me. "I see what you're doing." I look back at him innocently. "I… no one can sneak up behind me," he replies quietly. "Drop it now, please."

I nod my agreement, picking up my menu and hiding behind it. I don't want him to see the tears pricking at my eyes.

When our waitress stops by, I order a Diet Coke and Edward gets a beer. He shakes his head as she walks away.

"What?"

"I can buy beer without getting carded. Sometimes…" he sighs, "I can hardly believe how many years I lost."

I reach across the table, taking his hand in mine and squeezing it.

And then I freeze.

Standing in the doorway is none other than my best friend and her boyfriend. _Fuck!_

* * *

**A/N:** Dun-dun-dun…

Lots going on here! Bella and Edward had a talk in the woods, and he gave not-jealous (yeah, right) Bella some more tidbits on his past.

The used car salesman in Port Angeles thought Bella was his daughter — rude! Edward actually answered a few of Bella's nosy questions, but she doesn't like the answers. And now Angela and Ben have shown up at the same pizzeria — are they finally caught?

Next update on **Tuesday**.

* * *

**Grad Night is nominated for the Top 10 Completed Fics in April 2015 on TwiFanfictionRecs. Please vote if you enjoyed the story! Link on my profile. Sunday is the last day to vote!**


	10. The Pizzeria

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! Most of you are hoping that Angela and Ben are good enough friends to Bella to keep their mouths shut.

I had a question from a Guest about why I chose to make Edward 18 years older than Bella. If you remember my note from Chapter 1, the premise for this fic came from the TV show _Rectify_ on the Sundance channel. That includes Edward's age, years in prison, and the crime that sent him there. I held on to the basic plot bunny idea for over a year, looking for a contest to write for, since it seemed like a one-shot idea to me.

The first contest I came across that seemed feasible was the May to December Romance Contest. Given the contest's prompt (age differences), I gave Bella a more canon age and therefore, an 18-year difference. Had I written it for a different contest, I may have done something different, since the actual plot didn't come to me until a few days before I wrote it out.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 10 — The Pizzeria_

"What's wrong, Bella?" Edward asks, seeing the panicked look that is undoubtedly on my face.

"Angela," I whisper.

"Who?"

"My best friend is here with her boyfriend."

Edward's eyes widen and I try to slouch down in my seat a bit. It's no use though; the hostess brings them in our direction and I see the surprise on Angela's face when she notices me.

"Hey, Bella," she smiles, walking up to the table. She lets out a small gasp when she also notices Edward sitting across from me… with his hand still in mine. _Shit._ "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"Getting pizza," I reply nonchalantly, as if that's an everyday occurrence. We are so busted. Meanwhile, Ben is standing behind Angela, his mouth practically gaping.

Our waitress drops off our drinks, then looks at the two standing by the table. "Are you ready to order, or will your friends be joining you?"

I try very hard not to grimace as my heart starts pounding. "Please, join us," I offer reluctantly.

"Sure," Ben says… a little too eagerly. I get up, moving to sit next to Edward, and Ben and Angela slide into the booth across from us. After they've placed their drink orders, Ben grabs menus for the two of them, as they pretend this isn't incredibly awkward.

"Edward, this is my best friend, Angela Weber," I introduce her. "Her father is the reverend at the church in Forks. And this," I point to Ben, "is her longtime boyfriend, Ben Cheney.

"Guys, this is Edward Cullen." I don't introduce him as my boyfriend, only because I really don't want to get into it right now. But I know neither one of them is stupid. I'm going to need to have a chat with them ASAP to make sure they don't squeal.

"Good to meet you," Angela says with a smile. "Welcome home."

"H-hello," Edward replies nervously.

"This is so… your mom is one of my heroes," Ben gushes.

"She is?"

He nods, smiling. "I want to be a lawyer. But I want to be like her, helping those who can't necessarily pay for their own counsel — not some sleazy ambulance chaser."

Edward just smiles in response.

"I wondered why I hadn't seen you much this summer, Bella," Angela says. I hear the accusation in her voice as well as the "you and I are so going to have a chat."

After a bit of debate, Edward and I settle on splitting a deluxe pizza. I don't generally like so many toppings, but I'll do it for him.

"So does Forks seem a lot different to you than when you left?" Ben asks hesitantly, after our waitress has gone to put our orders in.

"The town itself? Not really," he shakes his head. "I don't think Forks ever changes."

"Will you tell us about it?"

"About what?"

"Being in prison."

My eyes widen, wondering if Edward will actually tell him anything.

"Not much to tell," he shrugs. "A lot of sitting around by myself. Shitty food. Uncomfortable cot to sleep on."

"The Governor put a moratorium on capital punishment last year, right?"

I watch Edward as he swallows thickly, nodding. "At least it gave the people from the Innocence Project more time to build their case."

"How many people were put to death while you were there?"

"Ben!" Angela cautions, shaking her head. "Maybe he really doesn't want to think about this?"

"Sorry," Ben apologizes. "I'm just curious; I think the death penalty is barbaric."

Edward takes a long sip of his beer, and I assume he's not going to answer the question. "Three," he finally replies, setting his bottle down on the table.

"Hmm… I don't remember the first two," Ben says. "I guess I was too young. I remember that one in 2010 though, A—"

"No!" Edward yells suddenly.

I immediately turn toward him, and he's deathly pale, looking like he might throw up. "Edward?" I whisper.

I slowly bring my hand in front of his face, hoping to God he can see it, then caress his cheek, trailing my fingers down to his neck. He's breathing a little heavily, but nothing like that day in his room. Gently, I pull him forward by the back of the neck until he leans his forehead on my shoulder, then scratch my fingers through his soft hair.

I chance a peek at Ben and Angela, who are watching us with a mixture of concern and wonder. If they hadn't guessed that we were together before, they know _now_. I am so going to have to explain this to them, but that isn't at all my concern right now.

"Can you hear me?" I whisper to Edward. In answer, his arms slowly wind their way around my waist. We stay like that for a while, until I feel him starting to calm.

"Here's your pizzas, guys." I look up as our waitress and another server set the two pans down on the table, along with some plates and silverware. "Enjoy!"

"Can you eat?" I whisper and Edward slowly lifts his head, staring into my eyes. "Are you ok?" I caress his cheek gently.

"I'll be ok," he whispers back. He pulls away from me, settling back into the booth, and though I'm skeptical, I grab two plates, then serve our first two slices of pizza.

Ben looks like he wants to say something, but I shake my head. He almost certainly just wants to apologize, but dwelling on what happened is probably not the smartest thing right now.

I'm not 100% sure, but it almost seemed like Edward didn't want to hear Ben say the name of the last man executed in the state of Washington. I have no idea who that is, but if he won't tell me after dinner, I'll just Google it later tonight.

"Are you working tomorrow, Bella?" Angela asks, thankfully ignoring the elephant in the room.

"Yeah, starting at one." Somehow I think I know where she's going with this.

"So you're free for lunch."

I let out a breath. "Yeah, did you want to grab lunch?"

She smiles at me. "Meet you at the diner at 11:30."

I know I'm going to have to confess everything tomorrow, but I debate whether or not to say something before we go our separate ways tonight. To at least acknowledge that they've been let in on something that's a secret, and ask them to keep it quiet. I don't think they'd say anything anyway, but I _know_ they wouldn't if I ask.

I give up without finishing my half of our pizza, but Edward easily finishes it, so he must really be ok. I stare at him as he puts the last bite in his mouth.

"What?" he asks, talking with his mouth full.

I shake my head. "You ate a lot of pizza."

He swallows then gives me a small smile. "I love pizza. I could never eat that much in high school since I had to stay in shape, and then…" He grimaces.

"Let me guess, they don't serve pizza in prison."

"No," he sighs. "They claimed our food was nutritious and appetizing, but…" He picks up his beer — his second — and drains it.

When our waitress drops off our bill, Edward insists on paying for us this time — I guess he got some money from his parents.

"Listen, guys," I begin as the four of us walk outside, "Please don't… say anything about seeing us here."

"Sure," Ben agrees readily.

"As long as nothing comes up to make you miss our lunch date," Angela replies with a grin.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Ang." I roll my eyes at her threat.

Waving, the two of them take off for Ben's car, planning to go see a movie, and I turn to Edward. "So… do you want to go down to the water or something?"

"Sure," he answers quietly. We're not in the best spot to walk there, too far east of the main downtown area, so we get back in the truck and I drive to a parking lot close to the pier.

Edward lights up a cigarette after I've parked and I try to keep my frown in check. It _has_ been quite a while since his last one. We find a bench to sit on, looking out at the water, since it's not yet sunset.

"I was surprised that you actually answered Ben's question about being in prison," I begin. "You won't usually talk about it."

"I'm trying, Bella," he replies. "To be open about what I can."

"So… will you tell me what happened earlier?" I ask quietly. "Did you not want to hear the guy's name?"

He sighs, blowing out a cloud of smoke. I'll assume that his lack of denial is confirmation.

"Did you know the guy?" It could just be upsetting to hear about someone he knew being put to death, or maybe they were even sort of friendly. Or maybe not.

He doesn't answer for a moment, just staring out at the water — if he sees anything at all.

"All death row inmates in Washington are housed in the same prison," he finally replies, which I suppose is his way of saying yes, he knew the man.

"You're not really gonna tell me anything more, are you?"

He tosses his cigarette away, rubbing at his forehead. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"Does your shrink know?" He nods. "Why can you tell him these things but you can't tell me? I'm your girlfriend, we're supposed to share things with each other. What's the difference?"

"Because he's used to dealing with fucked-up people. There's nothing he hasn't heard." He looks at me with an almost pleading look, begging me to understand.

"I'm not going to judge you, Edward," I assure him quietly, placing my hand on his arm.

"That-that's not it… not really. Look, I know you're not stupid; I know you must have… theories. But you're… you're so good, and pure, and… Trust me, there are some things you just really don't want to know."

We gaze into each other's eyes for a long moment, and I have to grudgingly admit that he may be right. If he's been… I can't even think the word, so maybe I _don't_ really want to hear about it.

He turns back toward the water, grasping my hand on my bare thigh. "What are you gonna tell your friend tomorrow?"

"The truth," I shrug. "Angela's not stupid either — she knows we're together. To be honest, I really wanted to tell her last week, when you were shutting me out. I really wanted someone to talk to."

"I'm sorry about that," he whispers, squeezing my hand. "I had to work through it all with Jenks before I could be with you. And I know that's not right, that's not what you deserve."

"Just… please don't do that again. Let me _help_ you. Like you did today," I plead. "Um, I also… I Googled what to do if you have another panic attack."

Edward chuckles. "I guess you can Google everything."

"You pretty much can," I agree.

"So did you learn anything useful?"

"I could've helped you focus and control your breathing a bit more. And I shouldn't have gotten upset, but… I was so scared."

He squeezes my hand again. "I could hear you. Just you being there did help me concentrate on breathing." He turns to me then and asks, "When does your dad get home?"

"Just after midnight. Why?"

"Can we go back to Forks, to your place? Maybe watch a movie?"

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

Back home, Edward stays outside smoking while I decide which of my favorite movies to subject him to. I'm tempted to make him watch _Pride &amp; Prejudice_ with my favorite actor, Colin Firth, but he'll probably hate it.

I finally settle on _Mean Girls_ — he might actually like that one.

I've got the DVD in the player and ready to go when he comes inside. He takes a seat on one end of the couch, kicks his shoes off, then settles against the arm of the couch.

I press PLAY on the remote control, then debate where to sit. The way he's situated, I can't sit _beside_ him, exactly. Does that mean he wants his space?

"Bella," Edward calls, "Come here."

"Where?" I ask nervously.

He holds his hand out, and I take it, letting him pull me down to sit between his legs, my back to his chest. He wraps his arms around me, leaning in to kiss the side of my neck.

"You don't have to treat me like I'm fragile, Bella. I'm fine," he promises. I'm not completely sure I believe him, but I'll try to just act normally.

I love this movie, but I can tell that Edward is a little bit bored with it when he gently moves all of my hair over my left shoulder, giving him free access to the right side of my neck. His lips skim along the sensitive skin, placing soft kisses in random spots.

We're never going to make it through this movie.

Sure enough, by the time Regina is flattened by the school bus, _I_ am flat on my back underneath Edward. As we kiss, I wrap one leg around his waist so that I can feel him right where I want him. My hands are underneath his t-shirt and the way his muscles flex below them makes me want to get him naked — right now.

"Edward," I moan when he turns his attentions to my collarbone.

"What do you want, Bella?" he whispers.

"You… please," I beg shamelessly.

I feel his hand sneak under my skirt, then tug at my panties. He pulls away long enough to remove them, and I lick my lips as I watch him remove his own pants.

Stretching out on top of me, he kisses me again. "Are you ready for me?" he asks, his lips brushing against mine and his cock brushing against where I'm desperate for him.

"So ready," I moan. I never imagined that sex could be like this, that _I_ could be this… this… _wanton_.

"Bring your legs up," he directs. I start to wrap them around his waist when he pushes my thighs until they're touching my chest, totally opening me up for him.

I feel the head of his cock pressing against me, then he slowly fills me until he can't possibly go any further. "Hang on, baby." He braces his hands on either side of my head, and then…

"Oh God!" And that's the last coherent thing I can think, let alone say, as he thrusts hard and deep, over and over until I'm clenching around him, screaming from the pleasure he's bringing me.

"Oh… fuck!" he finally yells as he comes.

Edward collapses on top of me, his breaths coming in heavy pants — the good kind, this time. When he's able to move, he pulls out and I wince a little, bringing my stiff legs down as he sits up.

"Was that ok?" he asks uncertainly, and I can't control my giggles. He just rocked my world and he asks if it's _ok_?

When I stop and think for a moment though, I realize he's probably wondering because he was a little more rough than usual, so I rush to reassure him. "More than ok."

* * *

After Edward has gone home, I make sure we haven't left any… evidence behind in the living room, then head upstairs to get ready for bed.

As I catch a glimpse of my computer sitting on the desk, I remember that I'd wanted to Google the last man executed in the state, so I boot it up.

I start with Wikipedia, finding a list of everyone who's ever been executed by the state of Washington. The last one on the list was given a lethal injection in September 2010, a man named Aro Markus Caius.

I click on his name to read the short entry on him, my eyes widening with every word I read. If he was guilty of everything he was accused of, he was a bad dude who stabbed and then beheaded his girlfriend and raped her _children_ before stabbing them to death.

There's no way this man was Edward's friend. But given his crimes, he may very well have been the one who stabbed Edward… or worse.

* * *

**A/N:** So Bella has a lunch date with Angela, where she'll have to decide exactly how much she can tell her without breaking Edward's confidence.

And Edward had another, milder, panic attack. Bella thinks it was because of the name and that she's found the man who stabbed him over 15 years ago. What do _you_ think? And what do you think of Edward's reasoning for not telling Bella everything that happened to him in prison?

Moosals laughed at me, but you know all serial killers have three names!

Next update on **Friday**.

* * *

**Awesome news yesterday! Grad Night finished #1 in the voting for the Top 10 Completed Fics in April 2015 on TwiFanfictionRecs! Thanks to all of you who voted!**


	11. The Inquisition

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! We're a bit divided on whether or not Edward should tell Bella everything that happened to him in prison. Some think he's treating her like a child who won't be able to deal, while others think she really _doesn't_ want to hear it. I personally don't believe he needs to disclose everything right now, but eventually, before they talk any kind of long-term commitment.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 11 — The Inquisition_

I arrive at the diner shortly before 11:30 on Saturday. I see Angela's car in the lot, so I know she's already here. Walking inside, I quickly spot her waving to me from a booth.

"I thought you might not show," she smirks as I slide into the seat across from her.

"After the way you threatened me, how could I not?" I joke.

Our waitress drops off Angela's iced tea and takes our orders — we don't even need to look at the menus after all these years. Edward was right when he said that nothing ever changes in Forks.

As soon as she's walked away, Angela looks at me expectantly. "Don't make me drag it out of you, Swan."

I take a deep breath, deciding to just rip off the Band-Aid. "Edward and I are together."

Her eyes widen slightly. "Since when?"

I shrug. "I guess… I guess since a week before graduation."

"_How?"_ she asks. "You never said a thing about him, other than that you'd introduced yourself when he first came home."

I nod. "I took him some of the cookies I'd made for your birthday. That was the first time we actually talked a little — until his mom called him in for dinner. I ran into him a couple of times after that, and then on prom night…"

"Yeah, what happened to you that night?" Angela interrupts. "All of a sudden you were gone."

"I left when I got tired of fending off Mike's advances," I explain.

She grimaces. "What part of 'going as friends' did he not understand?"

"I know, right? Anyway, I ran into Edward when I got home, and then he woke me up in the middle of the night, tossing pebbles at my window. He said he couldn't sleep and—"

My eyes widen. For the first time, I wonder if those two encounters that night were connected. I remember how irrationally upset Edward seemed at the thought that Mike had somehow hurt me. I'd just chalked it up to concern for me, but now… Was it some sort of trigger for him? And that's why he couldn't sleep, why he needed to get away?

"Bella?" Angela's voice brings me back to the present, and I notice the furrow between her eyes.

"He couldn't sleep and wanted to go somewhere, but he has no driver's license. I-I took him to Rialto Beach. We talked and then… I kissed him."

"_Wow_… But, prom night was like a month before graduation."

"Yeah," I nod. "He kissed me back but then he pulled away, and he pretty much ignored me for the next three weeks, until I confronted him about it."

"So… when you say you're 'together,' do you mean like real boyfriend and girlfriend? Like, you're sleeping together?" Angela asks in a whisper, looking at me with rapt attention.

I nod.

"Oh my God!" she exclaims. "But… he's been locked up a long time — what if he just wants sex?"

"No," I shake my head. "It's not like that. He'll be coming with me to Arizona next month."

"Whoa… So when you asked Ben and me to keep it quiet… does your dad not know?"

"No," I grimace. "Not yet, and neither do Edward's parents. We figured we'd tell them a couple of weeks before we leave. I guess, neither one of us is expecting a positive reaction."

"You and Edward, just… wow." Angela shakes her head. "Doesn't it bother you that he's twice your age?"

"You saw him… does he look twice my age?"

"Well, _no_, he's actually even hotter in person than he looked in the TV interview. I can see why you'd be attracted to him, but… what on earth do you have in common? He's from a different generation."

"Physically, he is much older," I agree, "But I'm not sure he really had a chance to grow emotionally over the last 18 years. He's at the same point in his life as me — a high school graduate trying to figure out what to do now. We're not that different."

"I don't know, Bella… It just doesn't seem like something that can last."

"Why not? If we both want it to. He's talked about a future with me, and I really want that. I just really, really like him, Ang. Maybe even love him."

Angela's stares at me, mouth gaping. "I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"I know, and I appreciate that," I smile.

"So… what happened with him last night? It almost seemed like a panic attack."

"It was, I guess. I think he didn't want to hear Ben say the guy's name. I'm not sure exactly why.

"There are… there are a lot of things that Edward doesn't like to talk about," I confess. "Things that happened when he was in prison."

"Was he assaulted?" she asks, eyes wide.

"He… got in a few fights, at least. He has a small scar above his left eye, and a knife wound on his side. He said those happened over 15 years ago."

"And… sexually?" she whispers.

"I-I'm not sure. He's never admitted to anything like that." I'm actually becoming pretty damn sure, but I don't really want to break Edward's confidence by telling Angela any more than that.

"Have you seen worse panic attacks?"

"Once," I nod, hoping she doesn't ask what caused _that_ one. "Yesterday's was mild by comparison."

"Do you think he might have some form of PTSD? Like my cousin had when he first came back from Iraq."

"Hmmm… maybe," I agree. Angela plans to study Psychology, so leave it to her to try to diagnose Edward. "I hadn't really labeled it. He's been seeing a shrink twice a week since before prom night, so at least he's getting help for whatever demons he has."

Our waitress interrupts our conversation to drop off our plates. Angela and I chat a bit more while we eat, but I refuse to give her any details on our sex life, no matter how much she asks. I've never really liked gossip like that — it's something private.

"Don't be such a stranger," Angela says, hugging me briefly as we walk out of the diner, 10 minutes before I have to get to work.

"I'm sorry… I guess I became that girl I've always hated, the one who ignores her friends in favor of her new boyfriend. But I'll have Edward with me forever — I hope — and you for the next five weeks, so I promise to call you when I'm free."

"Deal."

* * *

Later that afternoon, it's about 10 minutes before the end of my shift at Forks Outfitters, when Edward walks up to the bakery counter. Wearing sunglasses, a backwards baseball cap, Adidas t-shirt and track pants that end at the knee, he's the epitome of sex to me. I want to climb him like a tree.

"Hey," he greets me quietly, biting his lip.

I smile widely. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?" I glance around, wondering if anyone is nearby to spot him talking to me.

"It's not a social call," he explains. "I need cupcakes for Mom's birthday today."

"Oh! Of course. Um, we always have basic white, yellow or chocolate with buttercream frosting, plus red velvet and triple chocolate. Today's specials are a tiramisu cupcake, carrot cake, and a chocolate chip cake with cookie dough frosting."

"Can I get a half dozen?" I nod. "One of each that you said, except plain white and chocolate, I think. Is that six?"

"That's six," I nod with a smile, boxing them up for him. "You can pay for those here if you don't want to go to the main check-out."

"Your shift ends soon, right?" he asks as he hands me a twenty.

"Yeah, in about five minutes." I get his change, handing it back to him.

"I jogged over here, but… can I get a ride home with these?"

"Of course you can!" Silly man. "Um, I'm parked out back in the employee lot. I can't bring you through the back storeroom, but can you come around outside?"

He nods, smiling at me as he walks away. When my replacement shows up, I head into the back, taking off my apron, then go outside to meet Edward. I find him leaning against the side of the building, smoking a cigarette.

"Almost done," he says, holding it up. I glance around to make sure no one can see us, then lead him over to my truck and unlock the door for him.

As soon as I've climbed inside, I lean across the front seat, kissing Edward the way I've wanted to for the last 10 minutes.

"Mmm, what was that for?" he grins, licking his lips when I pull away.

"You look so freakin' hot in that outfit, with the cap and sunglasses."

He laughs, lifting up his sunglasses so I can see his eyes twinkling.

"So what time will your parents be home?" I ask as I drive us home. "Or are they already? My dad is due home at seven."

"Late. They took the ferry up to Victoria, recreating the day Dad proposed 40 years ago on Mom's birthday. They're scheduled for the 7:30 ferry back to Port Angeles. They'll probably eat the cupcakes then go straight to bed," he laughs.

"That's so sweet and romantic," I sigh as I turn onto our street. I park my truck in the driveway then open the door.

"You're coming over, right?" Edward asks, waggling his eyebrows.

"Is that an invitation?"

"Definitely," he whispers, wrapping his arm around my waist and leading me toward his front door. He refuses to let me go, and his other hand is holding the box of cupcakes, so I pull his keys out of his pocket and open the door.

I follow Edward into the kitchen as he sets the cupcakes down and removes his hat and sunglasses, then yelp as he picks me up, carrying me over his shoulder through the downstairs and up to his bedroom.

As soon as he's set me down in front of the bed, I stand on my tiptoes and wrap my arms around his neck. Our kisses quickly escalate as if it's been a week since we've been together and not just last night.

"That little apron you had on was so fucking sexy," he growls, quickly disposing of my top. "I was disappointed when you took it off before coming outside."

He kisses me again and I slide my hands underneath his t-shirt, lifting it up to his chest. Edward pulls away for a second, grasping the back of the neck and pulling it over his head. _So hot._ He opens my work pants, yanking them down, and I step out of them, leaving me in just my bra and panties.

"You're so sexy," he whispers and I can feel my face flame at the compliment. I've never thought of myself as sexy before — I'm just a normal teenage girl.

"I think _you're_ sexy," I grin, brushing my hands across his chest. I trail my hands down his abs, then grasp the waistband of his pants.

I start to pull them down when Edward's hands shoot out, grasping my wrists tightly, forming shackles around them.

I look up at him in confusion and he stares down at me. It suddenly occurs to me that I have never, ever taken Edward's clothes off. Maybe I helped take his t-shirt off once, when we were in the meadow, though he had to lift up from the ground to allow it. But he stopped me then, asking me to take my own clothes off instead of letting me remove his jeans.

"Why won't you let me undress you?" I blurt out before I can stop myself.

He lets go of my wrists, taking a step back and running one hand through his hair roughly. "I've told you I like to be in control of things."

"But I'm not going to hurt you!"

Edward sighs. "Logically, I know that, Bella."

I stare at him for a moment. "Will it cause another panic attack?" I ask quietly.

"I don't know… I'd rather not find out."

"Just… how much control do you need? I know I've teased you about being bossy sometimes."

"You've pretty much seen it all, I think."

"So you're not gonna handcuff me to the bed or try to spank me?"

"What?!" He looks horrified. "God, Bella… I'd never… I'd… where did that even come from?"

"I just wondered if you might actually be like Christian Grey in _50 Shades_. He would never let Ana touch him, and he liked to tie her up and spank her — you know, BDSM stuff."

Edward just kind of stares at me, a slight frown on his face. "I have no clue what you're talking about."

"_50 Shades of Grey_ — it's a bestselling book that was made into a movie. It came out in February. I know you weren't out of prison yet, but it's like some huge pop culture thing."

"I've never heard of it," he says, shaking his head. "Or BSDM, whatever you said."

"Bondage, a Dominant and his submissive, sado-masochism."

He shrugs. "Bella, I can promise you, I don't think I could ever be comfortable han-handcuffing you, and I have no desire to spank you or hurt you in any way," he says fervently. "I just need to feel in control of the things that happen around me and to me."

"If you _let_ me take your clothes off, then you're still in control," I point out, but he's already shaking his head before I've finished speaking.

"It doesn't work like that, Bella," he says quietly. "I think… undressing me is something you're just not going to be able to do right now. I'm sorry," he adds in a whisper.

"Don't be sorry! It's not your fault." To be honest, I _like_ when he takes control when we have sex. I still want to rip his clothes off, but other than that, I really have no complaints about his need for control.

I don't know that I'd _mind_ if he ever wanted to tie me up one day — and I could kick myself for not realizing he'd hate the idea of handcuffs — but I am kinda glad he doesn't want to spank me. That just seems weird.

Edward tears at his hair with both hands, then goes to sit on the edge of the bed. I walk over to him and he leans his forehead into my bare stomach, wrapping his arms around me.

"I'm gonna touch you," I whisper, then bring my hands up, running my fingers through his hair. "Don't ever be sorry about anything you need."

Edward rubs his hands up and down my back, and then I feel him unhook my bra. When it falls slack in front, he noses it out of the way, then takes my left nipple into his mouth.

I hold him to my chest as he moves to my right breast, leaving both nipples hard and wanting. I let him go when I feel him pulling away, smiling at the bulge I see in his pants. "Strip for me," he whispers, and I waste no time pulling the straps down my arms and removing my panties.

Edward removes his own pants, then lies back on the bed, crooking his finger at me. I crawl over him, letting him pull me down for a kiss. One of his hands brushes down my back to my hip, then around and between my legs.

"You're always ready for me," he whispers… in awe?

"I've wanted you since you first showed up at the bakery," I admit.

He smiles, brushing his cock against me, then pressing it against my entrance. I slide down at the same time he thrusts up and my eyes nearly roll back in my head.

I kiss him again, letting him push and pull me however he wants while he continues thrusting his hips. I may be on top, but he's in total control.

At some point, I'm breathing too hard to kiss him anymore. We both moan and mumble curses and it's oh so good. I am so, so close to coming undone.

"Are you gonna come?"

I nod furiously, past the point where I can speak, and when he sucks on my neck, it's all over.

"Fuck!" he yells, "God, so tight…" He slams me down two more times and then stops, throwing his head back.

When he lets go of my hips, I collapse and he wraps his arms around me, rolling us to our sides. His cock slides out and I mourn the loss for a moment.

As Edward's breathing slows, he traces his finger all over my face, making me giggle when it tickles.

"What are you doing?" I grin.

"Memorizing your face."

I smile. "In another month or so, you'll be able to see it every day and every night."

"You're still not running," he says, almost in wonder. "Even after everything."

"_Never_, Edward. You can't do anything to chase me away. You are the best thing to have ever happened to me," I choke out. It's on the tip of my tongue to tell him I love him, but… I'm afraid he's still not ready. Not if he's still afraid that I might run.

He kisses me gently. "I hope you know it's the same for me."

* * *

**A/N:** Should Bella have told Edward that she loves him? Or is she right that he's not ready to hear it?

Angela wasn't the most supportive friend, but she's just worried that Bella will get hurt. And didn't say anything that some readers haven't already questioned!

Bella has finally noticed that Edward won't let her take his clothes off (not that she tried every time), and she's relieved to know he doesn't want to spank her lol.

Next update on **Tuesday**.


	12. The Compromise

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! You guys can all see where Angela was coming from, wanting to make sure her friend had really thought this through. And I'm glad everyone liked the _50_ reference!

**There is a small time jump at the beginning.**

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 12 — The Compromise_

Edward and I manage to sneak in a couple of uneventful dates in Port Angeles over the next week and a half. We even go to a matinee with Angela and Ben. I've started wearing a bit more make-up when we go out than my usual lip gloss and touch of mascara, hoping to look older — and less like Edward's daughter.

On the last Monday in July, Edward asks to go back to the meadow. As always, I make up a picnic basket with some lunch to bring along with us.

After we've eaten, he lies back on the blanket, staring up at the cloudy sky. He's been kind of quiet today, so I know something's up, but I'm not sure what it is.

"Do you wanna go somewhere?" he asks quietly.

"Sure," I nod, happy to just be with him.

"Stay put for a minute." He gets up, then walks over to a large patch of wildflowers, pulling out over a dozen purple, red and yellow flowers. I smile, assuming he's planning to give me a 'bouquet' of the flowers. It's almost our two-month anniversary.

"Let's go," Edward says, nodding to me, the bouquet in his hand.

I stand up, my brow furrowed in confusion, then move to pick up the blanket.

"You can leave that for now," he says softly. "Follow me."

I'm still confused, but I'd probably follow Edward anywhere, so I let him lead me into the forest, watching my step carefully so I don't trip over any tree roots or rocks in the path.

"Where are we going?" I ask curiously.

"You'll see."

We continue walking through the forest for what feels like a long time before Edward stops suddenly. He looks around, but to me our surroundings don't look any different than they have for the past 10 minutes.

Finally, he takes a deep breath, then sets the bouquet on the ground in front of him.

"This is where I found her body," he says quietly. "Nineteen years ago today."

I gasp, looking around at the dense forest again. Suddenly it seems kind of creepy, and I shiver involuntarily. I can't imagine what that poor girl went through, before her life ended right here.

"How do you know this is the right spot?" I whisper, feeling like it's disrespectful or something to speak loudly.

"The small creek coming close to the trail, and that fallen tree trunk up ahead — it's been here as long as I can remember."

Edward bows his head, almost as if he's praying, and I remain silent as I watch him. "Rest in peace, Bree," he whispers, raising his head.

Taking my hand, he continues on the path. It's just a minute or so later when the forest opens up to a vast green lawn. He takes a few steps onto the grass then stops, chuckling.

"I don't want to be arrested for trespassing. Up there," he motions with his head, "That's where I used to live."

I look up at the massive contemporary style home about 50 yards in front of us, hardly able to believe that Edward grew up _here_. An iron fence behind the house seems to be surrounding a large patio and an in-ground pool. I've heard the stories about the Cullens' old home, but I've never been curious enough to come by here since I got my license.

"Do you know who lives here now?" Edward asks.

"Uhhh… the CEO of some logging company. I remember my dad talking about it."

He snorts. "A guy who cuts down trees for a living chooses to live in a home with a glass wall looking out at the forest?"

"It _is_ kinda ironic, isn't it?" I chuckle.

He's quiet for a moment, lost in thought it seems. "I feel so bad for my parents sometimes," he begins. "They had it all once. They were pillars of the community, one of the wealthier families in town, but they always gave back to those less fortunate. And they lost it all — their jobs, their home, their lifestyle… their respect."

I frown. "I'm pretty sure losing 18 years with you was a lot more upsetting to them."

"And now I'm going to leave them again," he adds quietly.

"Are-are you having second thoughts about coming to Arizona with me?" I try not to panic; maybe I'm just misunderstanding him. I hope.

Edward turns to me, cradling my face in his hands. "As much as I don't want to hurt my parents, I need to do what's best for me. And that's getting a fresh start… with you."

I smile, beyond relieved, throwing my arms around his neck. He kisses me once, twice, three times then pulls away with a smile.

"Ready to go back?" he asks. I nod, and he lights up a cigarette, then takes my hand again, leading me back into the forest.

About halfway back to our meadow, I start hearing a soft pat-pat noise. I can't figure out what it is until a raindrop lands on my nose.

"It's raining!" I yell, making Edward laugh.

"We're in Forks — that happens." But not nearly as much in July or August, I want to retort.

We walk a little faster, but we're not really getting wet through the thick tree cover. When we reach the meadow, however…

I rush through the steady rain to pick up the blanket, folding it haphazardly, while Edward grabs the picnic basket. Taking his hand again, we rush down the path back to the parking area. The trees aren't as thick here, and more drops are making it through.

Edward takes the blanket from me while I unlock his door, then I run around the truck to the driver's side. Once the door is closed, I shake my wet hair then brush it back out of my face. I glance over at Edward, and _goddamn_, he looks good all wet. My period started this morning or I'd totally suggest a repeat of that night we had car sex. Instead, I start the truck, turning up the heater to full blast as I drive back through the center of town.

The rain is still coming down pretty steadily by the time I'm parking in our driveway. "Can you grab the blanket?" I ask Edward as I hop out, running for the front porch. I'll deal with the picnic basket later.

Inside, I don't get very far before Edward spins me around, kissing me soundly as he presses my back into the door.

"Mmm… we need to get out of these wet clothes first." He huffs a little bit, but allows me to lead him to the small laundry room in the back of the house.

"Just toss the blanket in there," I direct, opening the front of the dryer. I toe off my Chucks and begin tugging my wet jeans down. I start to reach for the hem of my shirt when Edward stops me. I look up at him questioningly.

"I like this look on you," he whispers. I look down and see just how see-through my light pink t-shirt is when it's wet.

"Perv," I tease with a smile. "I can dry your clothes too if you take them off."

I watch hungrily as Edward strips down to his underwear, tossing his clothes into the dryer. He reaches for my waist, and I assume he's going to take my shirt off, but instead he lifts me up to sit on top of the dryer.

I wind my arms around his neck, pulling him closer and wrapping my legs around his waist. I know I can't let this go too far, but the minute his lips touch mine, I return his kiss hungrily. I adore Edward's lips, and the light five o'clock shadow forming on his face. I adore that he's all man, but not afraid to be tender.

Eventually his hands do start lifting up the bottom of my shirt. He stops kissing me and I raise my arms, letting him take it off. As soon as he's tossed it into the dryer, his lips go straight to the swell of my breasts. He holds one bra-covered breast in each hand, rubbing his thumbs over my nipples, as he smiles up at me.

"I want you underneath me," he growls.

"We-we can't… I'm sorry," I frown. "We can go make out on the bed… if-if you want." I watch his face for his reaction but see none; he can't be more disappointed than I am.

Finally he nods, helping me down, and I find a couple of small towels in a basket I need to take upstairs, so that we can dry our hair. I toss those into the laundry basket when we're finished, then close the dryer's door and hit START.

Edward follows me upstairs, where I grab a pair of shorts from the dresser in my room, then head into the bathroom to take care of business.

Stepping back into my bedroom, I find my mostly naked boyfriend sprawled on his back in the middle of my bed. I close and lock the door, then kneel on the end of the bed, crawling over his body.

Edward surprises me by rolling us over, lifting my arms up above my head. "Right where I want you," he whispers. We kiss for what feels like hours before he begins trailing his lips down to my breasts. He removes my bra then licks and sucks at my nipples. I can feel his erection pressing into my thigh and wonder if I should offer to help take care of that. I'll stick to a hand job if that's what he wants.

"Edward," I moan, and he comes back to my lips, lightly thrusting his cock against me. "Let me make you feel good."

He leans up on his elbows, staring down at me, his eyes darting between mine. I think he's actually considering it. "I'll let you direct me, I promise. I won't hurt you."

Groaning, he sits up beside me, running his hands through his hair. Finally, he lifts his head. "You really want to?"

"Yes," I nod.

Edward swallows thickly. "You'll do exactly as I say, and stop if I tell you to."

"Anything," I agree easily.

Slowly, he lies back, his head on the pillow — the same position as the last time we tried this, I note.

"Do you want to try it a different way? Like, you can stand or sit on the edge of the bed, with me on my knees?" I'll be more… submissive that way, less threatening maybe.

He shakes his head. "Like this." He reaches down to his boxers, carefully pulling them down his legs.

I hold my right hand out and he takes it in his, wrapping it around his hard cock. I let him move it up and down, reminding me of the amount of pressure he likes. When he removes his hand, I keep going, watching his face more than I watch what I'm doing. He seems to be handling this ok.

"When you're ready," he begins, "Just lick… like an ice cream cone or a popsicle."

I nod eagerly and lean over until his cock is within reach. Grasping the base in my hand, I flatten my tongue and lick from just above my hand up to the tip of his cock. I peek up at Edward and he nods, so I do it again until I've got most of his cock slick with saliva.

I begin taking tiny licks at the tip, running my tongue around the ridge underneath the head. I'm ready to try more, but I don't want to screw this up, so I wait for Edward's instructions.

"You can use your lips," he says suddenly, "But don't try to take in more than the head, ok?"

I nod my agreement, running my lips up the length of his cock. I wrap them around the head, careful not to get him with my teeth, and suck hard.

Edward sucks in a breath and I look up at him, but it seems like that was a good reaction, so I keep it up, repeating my moves over and over.

He's starting to moan and whisper curses now, and I want to do more for him. I pull my mouth off for a short break, using my hand instead. "Can I go further?" I ask.

"A little further," he replies, sounding kind of uneasy. "Don't try to deep throat. Just take it slow, ok?"

Nodding, I open my mouth wide, slowly sliding his cock into my mouth as far as I think I comfortably can. _Damn, it's big._ I swirl my tongue around as I pull my mouth off, watching Edward's face carefully. I only see pleasure there, so I start mixing up the few moves he's shown me.

I'm starting to get a bit tired when he finally moans, "Close," and I suck harder, trying to get him there. I want to watch him come undone.

"Fuck… Bella… so good… gonna come. Off!" he shouts and I pull my mouth away, jacking him off with my hand for a few seconds before he erupts all over it. I'm curious enough that I would've tried to swallow, since I've heard that guys like that. Maybe Edward thought I wouldn't like the taste?

When he seems to be… finished, I pull my hand away, then peek up at Edward to make sure he still seems like he's all right. His eyes are closed and he just looks blissed out, thank God.

I get up to grab a few tissues to clean up my hand. Staring down at the mess, I've overcome with curiosity. I lift my hand to my mouth, my tongue darting out for a small lick.

The expression on my face must be comical. _Yuck!_ Ok, I'm glad he wouldn't let me swallow. God, that is awful, how on earth does anyone swallow?

I quickly wipe the mess off my hand then walk over toward the bed. "Edward?" I call and he opens his eyes. "I need to—" I motion toward his hip, where a bit dripped off my hand, then gently clean him off. I toss the tissues into the trash can, making a mental note to take out my own trash later.

And then I crawl onto the bed next to Edward. "Are you all right?"

He nods. "Are you?" he asks, gazing intently at me.

"Sure I am, why wouldn't I be?" I ask, brow furrowed.

"Did you… like doing that?"

"I like making you feel good." To be honest, my jaw is kind of tired and achy, but I'd never in a million years tell Edward that. And… I've heard that most young guys manscape. How do I gently tell Edward _that_?

Sighing, he sits up and puts his boxers back on, then lies back, pulling me into his arms. "How long do we have?" he asks quietly.

I glance over at my alarm clock. "Two hours until Dad gets home, but I'll need to start on dinner before that." I lie back down, my head on Edward's chest and my arm around him.

"I'll be glad when we're out in the open… when we don't have to sneak around behind their backs."

"Me too," I agree, "But even then, it's not like we can have sex when they're around. I'm sure my dad would prefer that I stay a virgin until I'm 30."

Edward chuckles. "Yeah, too late for that. We'll tell them about us next weekend, right?"

I nod, knowing he can feel it. "That gives us just over two weeks until we leave. We'll be free then… we can eat at the diner in Forks or do whatever we want. I don't care if any of my classmates see me."

"Really?"

I lift my head, leaning my chin on his chest as I look into his eyes. "Really," I confirm. "I'm proud to call you my boyfriend, Edward."

His dazzling smile makes everything worth it.

* * *

**A/N:** Success! Bella followed Edward's instructions and there were no panic attacks this time. Moosals thinks Bella's distaste for hair on men is funny.

Before anyone gets on Bella's case, there seem to be two schools of thought among reviewers on what Edward may suffered in prison. Assume Bella is in the camp where she's not being incredibly insensitive.

Next update on **Friday**. Time to tell the parents!


	13. The Conversations

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! I cracked up at some of the comments about manscaping. Sounds like the majority opinion is "trim that shit down." My one male reader did not comment on this one, however. ;)

Lots of anticipation for this one, so let's get to it!

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 13 — The Conversations_

It's D-Day. The day Edward and I tell our parents about us.

My dad had a late shift last night, so he didn't want to get up early and go fishing this morning. I make his favorite French toast to put him in a good mood.

The Cullens will be first, as soon as they get home from church. Edward will call my cell once they're settled. He's ready to tell them, but afraid of their reaction — especially to him leaving Forks. I hope that they ultimately accept that this is what he wants. And I hope they accept _me_ as a good match for him, and don't think of me as just a foolish kid.

Dad terrifies me more. After all, he told me to stay away from Edward and I went against his express wishes. And I know he's going to think Edward is too old for me. It's more socially acceptable for men to date younger women than vice versa, but probably not with this large of an age difference.

I'm sitting in my bedroom when my phone rings, too nervous to be anywhere near my dad — his cop mojo would be going crazy. Edward lets me know that his parents are home and now seems like a good time.

Taking a deep breath, I head downstairs to where my dad is planted in front of the TV. I sneak a quick peek at the hook in the kitchen where he keeps his gun belt when he's off-duty — just in case. "I'm gonna hang with Angela for a while," I lie. "I'll be back later."

"Have a good time."

I smile in his direction, stepping outside. Walking across our two driveways, I find Edward standing in front of the side porch, smoking.

"Hey," he greets me quietly. He takes one last drag on his cigarette, tosses it away, then leans down to place a soft kiss on my lips. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be." He takes my hand, squeezing it lightly, and I follow him inside. Edward leads me into the living room, where both of his parents are seated on the couch, reading the newspaper.

"Dad, Mom…"

At his tone of voice, they both set their papers down, staring at us… at our joined hands.

"What's going on, Edward?" Esme asks, her eyes darting between us.

"I, um, wanted to let you know that Bella and I are together."

"Together… as in boyfriend and girlfriend?" she clarifies.

He nods. "We've been seeing each other all summer."

They both gasp, and I start to get a sinking feeling that this isn't going to go too well. We'd agreed that Edward would do most of the talking with his parents, and me with Dad, but I'm not going to back down if they address me directly. I'm going to stand here like an adult and face the music.

"All summer?!" Esme repeats, her voice rising.

His parents look at each other, silently communicating, and I feel even more nervous. Edward leads me to sit on the couch opposite his parents, still holding tightly to my hand.

"Does Dr. Jenks know about this?" Dr. Cullen asks in his calm doctor's voice.

"Yes."

"And what does he think?"

"He… he doesn't think it's a good idea for me to be in a relationship," Edward admits. "But it's not up to him. Jenks wanted to be sure I'm honest with Bella about my… limitations. And I am. She knows how fucked up I am."

Esme grimaces. "I wish you wouldn't talk like that about yourself."

"Why not? It's the truth."

"Why tell us now?" she asks, changing the subject. "Isn't Bella going off to college in a few weeks?"

"She is," he nods. "And I'm going with her. To Arizona."

Both of his parents stare at us in shock; his mother looks stricken. "You're… you're leaving Forks?" she whispers.

"I'm sorry, Mom, but… I need a fresh start away from this town," he replies softly.

"This just seems so sudden," his father protests.

"Edward, I understand that right now you feel like it's the best choice," his mother says. "But…and I mean no offense to you, Bella, but… I agree with Dr. Jenks about your ability to be in a serious romantic relationship. My God, Edward, you can hardly stand to be touched."

"Bella and I are having sex," he blurts out. Both of his parents gasp loudly and I cringe, staring down at our joined hands, certain that my face is about to burst into flames.

"I _can_ be touched, under the right circumstances," Edward continues, as if he didn't just drop a huge bombshell. "You know this. Bella is patient with me, and we've figured it out. We've made it work for the last two months."

"Edward, you know that all we want is for you to be happy," Esme says.

"I _am_ happy. Bella makes me happy. Getting away from this judgmental town will make me happy."

"Bella, are you sure about this?" Dr. Cullen asks. "The last thing Edward needs is for you to change your mind in a few months."

"_Yes_," I reply emphatically. "Edward has asked me that question a dozen times, and I am _sure_. He makes _me_ happy." And I love him, though I'm not going to tell him for the first time in front of his parents.

"Bella is the only one in town who's treated me like a normal person instead of some kind of freak show," Edward explains. "She talked to me, introduced herself, and tried to befriend me when no one else would. I understand that you're just worried about me, but… I am sure about her.

"I'm not asking for your blessing. I'm 37 years old — I don't _need_ it, but I'm hoping that we'll have your support."

"Does your father know, Bella?" Esme asks.

"No, Ma'am, not yet. We're telling him next." I try to smile, but I'm sure it comes out more like a grimace.

"He's not going to be happy, is he?" she asks gently.

"Probably not, but I'm also an adult, and I don't need his blessing either."

"You know that we only have your best interests at heart, son," his father begins.

"I _know_ that," he interrupts. "But I'm not your little boy anymore. I'm not the same teenager who went to prison 18 years ago. I'll never be him again. I'm just me, and I know what I need and what I want more than anyone else does. You can't stop this, so please don't try."

It's dead silent for a more than a few moments.

"So you'll be leaving town in a few weeks?" his mother whispers finally, seeming to accept that this is going to happen.

"My classes start August 24th," I explain. "We haven't decided what day to leave, but it'll take us at least three days to drive to Tucson."

"I'm not sure your truck is up for that kind of drive," Dr. Cullen points out.

"I'm going to buy a car," Edward speaks up, "Whenever you're able to go to Port Angeles with me to get it. Bella will drive it down and I'll get my license once we're settled."

"You've got this all figured out," Esme says sadly, shaking her head. "Where will you live?"

"My mom is looking for a furnished apartment near campus."

"Your mom lives in Arizona, doesn't she?"

"Yes," I nod, "About two hours away, in Phoenix."

"What do you plan to do for a job, Edward?" his father asks. "Or do you plan to go to school?"

He shrugs. "I don't know yet. Now that I've got the money from the State, I don't need to decide right away."

"I hope that you'll ask Dr. Jenks for a recommendation in Tucson, so that you can continue your therapy," his mother says. That is a really good idea; he clearly needs more therapy.

"Ok… I'll ask him on Tuesday." He nudges my hand and we stand up. "I think… it's time to face down Chief Swan," he grimaces.

His parents stand up as well, and his mom takes a few tentative steps closer before throwing her arms around her son. "I'll miss you so much," she cries.

"I'll miss you too, Mom," he sighs. "But I need to do this."

She lets him go, and he kisses the top of her head, then leads me back to the side door.

"Well, that wasn't awful," he says as soon as we're outside. "We didn't quite get them on our side, but at least they've accepted it."

"Are you sure you want to face my dad with me?"

He pulls me toward the house, grasping my face and kissing me with almost a sense of desperation. Finally he pulls away, leaning his forehead against mine.

"I don't _want_ to," he says quietly, "But I'm not letting you do this alone." He takes a step back, sighing. "Let's get this over with."

Smiling, I take Edward's hand again, leading him up onto our porch. I open the door and tug him inside.

"Is that you back already, Bells?" Dad calls from the living room.

"Yeah." I look up at Edward and he nods. Taking a deep breath, I lead him to face the firing squad.

"What the—?"

"Dad," I begin. "I think you know Edward. He and I have been seeing each other for the last two months."

"What?!" Dad jumps up off the couch and out of the corner of my eye, I see Edward take a step backwards, almost as if he's hiding behind me.

"Sit down, Dad." I glare at him until he listens to me. Edward is squeezing the crap out of my hand, and I need him to relax. "Dad, Edward is my boyfriend. And he'll be coming to Arizona with me in another couple of weeks."

"Have you lost your mind?" he yells. "I thought I told you to stay away from him!"

"You also told me not to judge people without getting to know them," I remind him. "I got to know Edward, and I haven't regretted it for a second. And besides, I'm an adult and I can see whomever I want." I cringe almost as soon as I say the words; not my most adult statement ever, even if it's true.

"Good way to prove that by seeing him behind my back for two months," he grumbles.

"I didn't want to upset you or ruin our time together before I leave for college," I explain. "Edward and I needed time to figure things out on our own first, without any interference."

"Bells, you have no idea what 18 years in prison did to him. I know he's seeing a shrink—"

"I have a better idea than you do, Dad!" Not that I'd ever confirm any of it to him. I stroke my thumb along the back of Edward's hand; I hate that he's having to hear this. And I hate that I can't see him to know how he's doing. Maybe I should've insisted he wait outside.

"Look, Isabella," Dad sighs, "You've always been my little princess. You deserve to meet your Prince Charming one day."

"Edward _is_ my prince, Dad," I reply softly. "He makes me happy."

"I just want the best for you. You deserve a man who can take care of you, protect you… Look at him, he's hiding behind you!"

"First of all, I'm going to get a college degree so that I can take care of myself," I reply angrily. "I don't need a man to do that — this isn't the 1950s. What I _deserve_ is a man who'll treat me like a princess, and he _does_."

Dad sighs. "Look, even if Edward was just the man next door, he'd still be too old for you. My God, we went to high school together!"

"For one year," I point out. "Edward is at the same point in his life as I am, thanks to the injustice that he was dealt 18 years ago. We're not really that different. If he was already a doctor with his own home, maybe divorced with two-point-five kids… yeah, he might be too old for me. But he's _not_."

"What about that nice boy you went to prom with?" he tries.

"That 'nice boy' was just a friend; I've told you that before." I'm not about to tell Dad about Mike's handsiness… at least not in front of Edward.

"Mike isn't what I want, Dad; Edward _is_. We're good together. I'm not asking for your blessing," I use Edward's line. "I just want you to respect my choices."

"What do you have to say for yourself, Edward? What is it you want with a girl half your age?" Ugh, I hate when he shifts into his cop voice.

I turn around so I can see Edward, who's looking kind of like a deer in headlights. I squeeze his hand, letting him know that it's going to be ok.

"I just want Bella," he says softly. "I don't care how old she is."

Dad sighs heavily. "You're making a mistake, Bells."

"It's my life, Dad! You need to let me make my own mistakes, but I don't believe that's what this is. Whether you like it or not, Edward and I will be leaving for Tucson in another couple of weeks. And we're going to have a great life together."

Dad snorts. "I get that you're young and idealistic… It's going to be a long tough road — tougher with him than with a nice boy your own age."

"You didn't raise me to take the easy way out, Dad. You raised me to follow my dreams." I sigh, running my hand through my hair. "I'm tired of arguing with you, so… Edward and I are going to spend the afternoon together. You can get your own dinner.

"Come on, Edward," I tug on his hand, leading him back toward the door and out onto the porch. I start to unlock the truck for him, but he spins me around, pressing me up against the truck as he kisses me over and over.

I'm dizzy before he finally pulls away. "I'm not running, Edward," I reassure him. He takes a step back and I manage to get the door unlocked, then walk around to my own side.

Without asking, I drive us to the meadow. It's our place in a way, and we only have another couple of weeks with it. I grab the blanket, taking Edward's free hand as soon as he's lit his cigarette.

Once we've reached the meadow, I spread the blanket out and sit down, but Edward remains standing, pacing back and forth as he smokes. I don't know if I should call out to him or just let him be for now.

"You're making me dizzy," I finally complain — and not dizzy in a good way this time.

Sighing, he tosses his cigarette away and plops down on the blanket beside me, tearing at his hair with both hands.

"Your dad really told you to stay away from me?" he eventually asks.

"Yes," I grudgingly admit. "The day you came home. I mentioned that I'd seen you outside and he told me to stay away from you. He was worried about what 18 years in prison had done to you mentally. I vowed right then that I wouldn't listen to him."

"Maybe your dad is right, Bella," he says quietly.

"My dad isn't right about anything," I retort.

"I'm nobody's Prince Charming."

"You're _my_ Prince Charming."

He smiles, but it doesn't seem like a happy smile. "Your prince should be strong and brave. I fucking hid behind you — what kind of man am I?"

_Oh, for the love of…_ "Don't you ever say something like that!" I yell in frustration, reaching over to put my hand over his mouth.

The moment I touch him, he scrambles away from me, struggling to his feet and running for the tree line before I can even process what's happened. I stare in horror at the place where he was sitting just a moment ago.

"Edward?" I call. "Oh God… I'm so sorry!"

* * *

**A/N:** Oops. No one can be any harder on Bella than she is on herself.

How did it go with the parents? Did they react the way you thought they would? Did they make any good points?

Next update on **Tuesday**.


	14. The Words

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! The majority of you thought that went better than expected, though you're mad at Charlie, even if as a parent, you can see where he's coming from.

Now let's see what Bella does after her goof…

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 14 — The Words_

I sit in stunned silence for who knows how long. Stupid, _stupid_… how could I be so _fucking_ stupid?

"Edward!" I call again.

Still no response, not even the sound of leaves rustling. Where is he? Where the hell did he go?

"Edward! I'm sorry, Edward! Please come back!"

Tears are streaming down my face, knowing that I'm the one who hurt him this time. "Oh God… what have I done?" I mumble to myself. How could I have ever thought that I could do something like that to him?

"Edward, where are you?!" I scream into the trees.

I'd get up and look for him, but I'm not even sure which direction he went; it all happened so fast. Could he have gone back to the car? Or to his old house?

"Edward, are you out there? _Please_ say something… please!" I beg.

"Give me a minute," a soft voice comes from… somewhere.

I inhale sharply. He's nearby… he hasn't run miles away from me. That's good.

I try to calm my sobs, crawling to the edge of the blanket so I can lift it up and wipe my face. Edward doesn't need to see my tears. This isn't about me right now. I need to be strong for him.

I breathe a huge sigh of relief when I see him step out of the trees. But instead of walking toward me, he sits on the grass just in front of a large tree, maybe 20 feet away from me.

I start to get up when he holds his hand up, shaking his head. _Oh God_… he doesn't even want me near him. Sitting back, I cross my legs, trying to look unthreatening.

"I'm sorry," I repeat.

He nods, watching me carefully.

"I didn't m—"

"I know," he says so quietly I can barely hear him.

"Can I come closer?" He shakes his head, and I feel tears prick at my eyes again.

"You just proved your dad's point," he says bitterly.

"I didn't prove _anything_. You were… you were in a horrible place, and you… and you have scars, both physical and mental. I don't blame you for anything."

He slides his knees up, wrapping his arms around them, and I want to go hug him so badly. He _is_ a man, a man who's been beaten down, but he's still here, still alive. He's stronger than a lot of people would be.

"Can I come closer now? I-I won't touch you."

He doesn't respond at all, so I decide to take that as agreement. I'd crawl over to him if I could, but he's too far away, so I get up and walk slowly toward him, kneeling down and crawling the last few feet.

Edward finally lifts his head from where it's buried between his knees and the look on his face — his eyes red from unshed tears — crushes me. I move one final step toward him, until he's close enough to touch — but I don't dare.

"Are you ok?" I whisper. His response is a tiny shrug. "Can I touch you? I won't hurt you."

"I know," he whispers.

That's not a no, so I slowly reach my hand out — giving him plenty of time to protest — and gently caress his cheek. I lean forward inch by inch until I can wrap my arms around him, holding him tightly. He rests his forehead on my shoulder and I just hold him, trying not to start crying myself from the sound of his soft sniffles.

Unlike the last time I triggered him, _this_ time, I know exactly what I did. And what it means.

"Someone did that to you, didn't they?" I whisper.

Edward lifts his head, staring into my eyes.

"Someone held their hand over your mouth… so you couldn't scream," I guess.

He doesn't have to say a word for me to know it's the truth. I see it all over his face… the slight widening of his eyes, the slight pink on his damp cheeks. _God_, he has nothing to be ashamed of.

He gives me one tiny nod, then lets out a sob. I pull him closer, holding him again, before he can see my own tears at the confirmation I wish he hadn't had to give me.

"It's ok, Edward," I whisper. "You're safe now. You're safe." I run my fingers through his hair, whispering in his ear, trying to soothe him.

I don't know how long we stay like that, me kneeling on the ground holding my boyfriend in my arms. I'd be happy to hold him forever. This changes _nothing_ about my feelings for him.

I'm shocked when I feel Edward's lips on my neck, given that he hasn't moved in so long. I stroke my hand through his hair again, pulling back slightly so that I can kiss his cheek, just in front of his ear.

He finally lifts his head from my shoulder, and I place gentle, feather-light kisses along his jawline, trying without words to let him know how precious he is to me. How much I love him.

His lips close over mine, as soft as our very first kiss on the beach, nearly three months ago. Edward lifts his hands, gently cradling my face as he kisses me again, a little more firmly.

I open my mouth, kissing him back, because kissing him feels so damn good. Our kisses quickly become heated, and though some tiny piece of my mind is wondering if this is such a great idea right now, I go along with it, because Edward seems to need it.

I yelp, startled, when he pulls me onto his lap, one hand in my hair and the other trailing up and down my side. His tongue is doing wicked things to me, but that tiny part of my mind is starting to scream a bit louder that something isn't right here.

And when he opens my jeans, I can't ignore it any longer.

I break away from Edward's mouth, my hand on his chest. "What are you doing?" I pant.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He tries to pull me closer again, but I hold him off.

"Edward! Seriously, 10 minutes ago I was trying to get you down from a panic attack, and now you want to have sex?"

As he stares back at me, I realize… "This isn't the first time."

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"I mean… when we've talked before about… about something traumatic in your past, you've initiated sex not long afterward. What are you doing? What are you trying to prove?"

He angrily shoves me off of his lap, getting to his feet. I turn and watch as he paces back and forth, pulling and tugging at his hair. When I've tired of his endless pacing, I get up and walk over to him, gently grasping his arms and pulling him to sit with me on the blanket.

"Why do you need to do this, Edward?" I ask cautiously.

"I need to get out of the past!" he yells. He stares into my widened eyes for a moment before continuing, "I need to be here, in the present, away from that fucking place. I need to remember that I made it through and I'm still alive. I need to _feel_ something.

"Please, Bella," he begs, cradling my face again. "Please… I need you… please."

And though I know that this probably isn't healthy, and I shouldn't let him use sex as a crutch, I'd give him the world right now.

I nod, and in no time, I'm lying underneath Edward, letting him kiss me and touch me, letting him take my shirt and bra off… and then my jeans.

As soon as he's removed his own pants, he kneels on the ground in front of me, sitting back on his heels, then pulls my hips up onto his thighs. I moan at the feeling when he joins us together, and play with his hair as he attaches his lips to my chest.

He's got me more or less helpless in this position, with my back arched off the ground, but I'll never complain; I think he needs it to be this way. I let him take what he needs from my body, bringing me pleasure at the same time.

And after we've come together, Edward collapses on top of me, stretching us out on the blanket. He rolls off, still holding me close as he tries to catch his breath.

It's August, but it's Forks, so it's a bit chilly lying naked outside. I reach behind me, pulling the blanket over us, then lean up and kiss the underside of Edward's jaw.

"I love you, Edward." I'm too full of love for this man _not_ to say it.

Pulling away slightly, he stares into my eyes. "You don't have to say it back," I assure him. "I just needed you to know."

He brings his hand up, brushing my hair out of my face. "I love you so much, Bella. I don't know what I'd do without you."

I smile widely, loving him even more now, if that's possible. He pulls me closer and I tuck myself under his chin. I don't care if our parents don't approve, because we're in love, and that's all we need.

* * *

It's my stomach growling that finally brings us out of our bubble. I was too nervous to eat something today while waiting for Edward to call.

And so I unwrap our cocoon, putting my clothes back on. Edward lights a cigarette as soon as he's dressed — he never did take his shirt off — then helps me fold up the blanket.

"Since I told my dad he could get his own dinner, we can go out if you want," I suggest as we walk back to the truck. "We don't even have to go to Port Angeles anymore now that we're _out_."

He gives me a small smile. "Are you really ready be a zoo exhibit? Because if you go out with me in Forks, people are going to stare. Everyone will know by tomorrow."

"Let them stare."

Once we've reached the truck, I unlock the passenger door then toss the blanket into the backseat. When I turn around, Edward is standing inches away from me. He leans down, placing a soft, lingering kiss on my lips that causes goosebumps all over my skin.

"Thank you," he whispers. "Um, can I borrow your phone? My parents are probably worried sick by now."

"Oh yeah, of course." I hand Edward my phone, getting back into the truck to give him some privacy. He climbs in a minute later, giving my phone back.

"We can go to the diner, if you really want to do this. I've only been there once since I came home. My parents took me after my first shrink appointment."

"Might as well get this over with," I agree.

A few minutes later, I'm parking the truck in the diner's parking lot. I take Edward's hand when he walks around the front of the truck to join me. Might as well leave no doubt in anyone's mind that we're _together_.

Inside, the sign says to seat ourselves, so I head for the back corner. The diner isn't crowded, but I can feel every pair of eyes in the place on us as we walk toward the open booth.

Edward slides into the side facing away from the door, but I remain standing. "Will you be ok for a minute by yourself while I go to the restroom?" I ask him quietly. I hope he doesn't get upset that I'm treating him like he's fragile again.

"I'll be fine," he assures me.

I kiss his lips quickly, then stand tall and proud as I make my way to the bathroom to clean up from our earlier… escapades.

When I come back, Edward does indeed seem fine as he looks over the menu. "Is it different from what you remember?" I ask as I sit across from him.

"A little bit," he answers. "I don't think there were as many wraps back then, if any."

I'm a little relieved when Emily starts walking over to take our order. She's from nearby LaPush and unlike many of the waitresses here, is too young to remember the murder case.

"Hi, Bella," she greets me. "What can I get you guys to drink?"

"Can we get a milkshake?" I ask Edward with a grin.

He gives me a tiny smirk in return, totally understanding why I suggested that. "Chocolate?" I nod my acceptance.

"And two glasses of water please," I add.

"Do you need a few more minutes to look over the menus?" she asks, looking at Edward, since I didn't bother with one.

I look toward Edward and he shakes his head, motioning for me to go first. "Chicken Caesar wrap, please."

"Um, could I get a bacon cheeseburger and fries?"

"You got it," Emily smiles, walking away.

"So we're reliving my eighth grade dates, huh?" he asks with a wink. I shrug; he's got me.

Edward holds his hand out and I place my hand in his. "Are you ok?" I ask him quietly.

"I'll be ok."

"I really am sorry about—" He shakes his head and I stop, biting my lip.

"I know you didn't mean to," he says softly, rubbing his thumb along my knuckles. "I'm sorry I can't just give you a list of do's and don'ts; I know it would make things a lot easier."

"I hate hurting you." He smiles a little but doesn't answer. "Will you… talk to Dr. Jenks on Tuesday? About your need to…?"

"To get out of the past?" He grimaces. "I guess. I get that it's… probably not the best way to deal with it."

"I don't really _mind_, but… I want you to learn a healthier way to deal."

He nods, giving me a small smile. "Did you mean it?" he whispers.

My brow furrows in confusion before I realize what he's talking about. "Yes, I meant it. I love you, Edward. You really are my Prince Charming."

We gaze into each other's eyes until Emily interrupts our bubble to set our drinks down. I smile at her as she steps away, then pick up one of the straws, grinning as Edward and I share our chocolate milkshake.

"You know, you shouldn't be jealous of the things I did before you were born, Bella."

"I know, it's silly, but… I like the idea that we can share these things together now. No more hiding."

"No more hiding," he repeats softly, then clears his throat. "Your dad isn't going to give up, you know."

"I know," I sigh. "But he's not going to win the argument. There is nothing he can say to convince me to leave you behind. He tried for months to convince me to go to school at U-Dub and didn't win," I add with a smirk.

"He's right though," Edward says sadly.

"He's _not_ right, Edward," I reply in frustration. "He doesn't know you like I do. He doesn't have to worry about me being with you."

"But I'm still fucked up. It's not going to be easy to live with me, having to be on guard all the time."

"So you listen to your dad and continue your therapy."

"You make it sound so simple," he replies with a small smile.

"I don't expect everything to be easy, but I love you. I'm not going anywhere." I lean forward, and Edward does the same, letting me peck him on the lips. I couldn't care less who sees us.

Once we've finished our meals, he leaves some money for the check and we stand up, walking out of the diner hand in hand. One older man sitting by the door stares unabashedly and I get what Edward means about feeling like a zoo exhibit.

"Why don't you take a picture, it'll last longer," I growl at him as we walk by.

As soon as the door has closed behind us, Edward chuckles. "Mature, Bella."

* * *

**A/N:** Yay, they finally said it! And they're "out" to Forks now. How do we think _that_ is gonna go?

A little bit of confirmation there from Edward. And did anyone notice the pattern of when he'd initiate sex? I know moosals questioned it when she read the first batch of new chapters (2-8) I'd sent her.

Next update on **Friday**.


	15. The Fallout

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! Almost up to 1,000 Favorites already! I have to say though, it baffles me why an emotional chapter where they first exchange 'I love yous' would have the second-lowest number of reviews, nearly 40 less than the previous chapter. Are you all awake out there? :)

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 15 — The Fallout_

When we get home from the diner, I sit with Edward on the porch while he smokes. I'm not really looking forward to going home and arguing with my dad again, so I'm happy to stay out here all night. Finally, Esme asks Edward to come in and talk — without me — and I know it's time for me to face the music.

Stepping inside, I hear the sound of a baseball game on the TV. I try to sneak upstairs, but my dad must have supersonic hearing.

"That you, Bells?"

"Yeah," I sigh, detouring to stand in the living room doorway.

"Come sit down."

Trying not to roll my eyes, I take a seat on the other end of the couch from my dad. He picks up the remote control, muting the TV.

"So I hear you and Edward went to the diner," Dad begins.

"Seriously? The word is already out and back to you?" I exclaim in shock.

"Doesn't take much around here," he mumbles. "That man is too old for you," he states more clearly.

"Aren't you the one who's always called me an old soul?" I retort.

Dad shakes his head, reaching up to scratch his moustache as he sighs. "It seems like only yesterday you were in diapers."

"That was 16 years ago, Dad!" _Jesus Christ, exaggerate much?_

"Ok, maybe, but… it wasn't _that _long ago that you declared all boys 'monumentally stupid'," he remembers, complete with air quotes.

"I think I was like 13 when I said that," I chuckle against my will. "And it's probably still true. But Edward isn't a boy."

"No, he's not, he's a fully grown man—" _Shit, walked right into that one._ "—who has no business being with a girl half his age!"

I start counting to ten before I reply, trying not to scream at my father, who's sounding more and more like a broken record.

"I can just about accept that you've grown up and are ready to start dating," Dad continues, and I roll my eyes, "But I don't understand why you've ignored all of the nice boys your own age in favor of _him_. What is it about him?"

"He's an amazing person, Dad," I reply fervently. "I get these glimpses of the boy he must've been, and… No innocent person should ever have to go through what he did," I cry, my voice cracking. Edward deserves the absolute best of everything. Heck, _I'm_ probably not good enough for _him_.

"What Edward suffered was awful," Dad agrees. "But that doesn't mean you have to be the one to fix him."

"I'm not trying to _fix_ him — that's why he's in therapy. I love him, Dad," I state quietly. He turns his head to stare at me. "I'm _in love_ with him. And he loves me, too."

"This is all happening so fast," he protests. "Why does he have to go to Tucson with you? Maybe you two could do the long distance thing for a while, see if this is the real thing."

"Edward needs to get out of Forks, Dad. He needs a fresh start to ever be able to put the last 18 years behind him."

Dad sighs, rubbing his forehead. "Obviously I'm not going to talk you out of this right now." Not _ever_. "And I can't force you to… break up with him. But this is still my house, so you're gonna follow my rules for the next two weeks."

"What rules?" I complain.

"You will not have Edward over here at any time when I'm not."

"You've gotta be kidding," I groan. I'm an adult, for God's sake!

"I'm not kidding. I can't stop you from seeing Edward, but I don't condone this relationship."

"Fine," I grumble. We'll just hang at Edward's parents' house.

* * *

Of course the news is all over town within 24 hours, as I'd expected. When Edward and I meet Angela and Ben for dinner at Pacific Pizza on Monday night, she gives me the scoop on what she's heard.

The next time I work a shift at the bakery, I hear the whispers and see the glances when they think I'm not looking. I don't really care what anyone says about me, but I don't like to hear the comments about Edward being with a teenage girl, mere months after serving time for murdering one. No one has the gall to say anything to my face; it's just as well, as I'd probably get myself fired.

Once Mom has found me an apartment in Tucson, she emails photos and all of the information on the apartment complex. When I invite Edward up to my room to look at everything on my computer, Dad insists we leave the bedroom door open. _Please_… like we'd have sex with him in the house. He doesn't even know that we _are_ having sex, unlike Edward's parents, whom I can still barely look in the eye.

* * *

Friday is unseasonably warm for Forks, so I pack a picnic basket and Edward and I spend the day at Second Beach. There are quite a few surfers out there today, so we relax and watch them for a while. I convince Edward to roll his jeans up and walk along the water's edge with me. The ocean is too freakin' cold to do much else, and it's not like either of us has a bathing suit anyway. I need to buy a new one, since mine is about three years old and the top is a little small now… though I'm sure Edward wouldn't mind. He does like my boobs.

After dinner at a local hangout in LaPush — in which we thankfully don't run into any of Dad's friends — I drive us back to Forks.

"Can we stop for ice cream?" Edward asks with a grin as I turn onto the 101.

"Sure," I agree. But as I turn onto the street, I see that the parking lot is nearly filled to capacity. Seems like everyone in Forks wants ice cream on this warm night. "Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask Edward uncertainly.

"Yeah, it's fine," he assures me.

Deciding to trust him, I pull into the only available spot and we walk up to the window. I order my standard — two scoops of mint chocolate chip in a cake cone — then stand back so that Edward can place his order and pay.

"What is that?" I laugh when I see the huge cup of ice cream that Edward has.

"It's a sundae," he replies in a duh voice. "Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, hot fudge, caramel, whipped cream and sprinkles. Oh, and a cherry."

"I can't believe you got rainbow sprinkles," I giggle.

"What's wrong with sprinkles?" he protests, sticking a huge spoonful in his mouth.

There are several small tables set up on the sidewalk near the parking area, so we take a seat while we eat our ice cream. I stare at my cone, remembering what Edward said about pretending I was licking an ice cream cone or a popsicle the last time I gave him a blowjob.

And so I pretend my cone is his cock.

"What the heck are you doing?" Edward asks suddenly.

"Practicing," I shrug, grinning at him.

He just stares at me for a moment. "Prac—Oh." He looks down at his bowl of ice cream, which is nearly gone already, and I swear I see a twinge of pink on his cheeks.

As I lick my cone — apparently obscenely — I start to notice that we're being watched. A couple of junior girls from Forks High keep glancing our way, then quickly turn their heads when they see that I've spotted them. I also notice a handful of guys from the baseball team, and I really hope they don't say anything to us. No one has done much more than stare so far, or whisper loudly enough for me to overhear, but I'm not stupid enough to think that'll last until we leave Forks.

A loud scraping noise makes me turn my head, and I see that Edward has scooted his chair back, slouching down a bit. His napkin is balled up in his cup and I realize he's finished his ice cream.

"You're done already?!" I exclaim.

He shrugs. "You would be too if you were eating your ice cream instead of… doing that." He glances away, looking more than a little uncomfortable, and I frown in confusion.

I've just taken my first bite of the cone when I see none other than my prom date walking our way, with purpose. I take a deep breath, bracing myself for whatever the hell he's planning to say.

"So it's true?" Mike asks, stopping a few feet from me and nodding toward Edward. "You and him?"

"It's true," I reply — somewhat proudly, I hope.

"So he's why you were so uptight on prom night?"

"Uptight?" I screech. I set my cone down on the table, standing up to face Mike. "We went as _friends_, Mike. Just friends."

"What do you see in him anyway?" he scoffs. "He's practically our parents' age."

"Bella," Edward warns quietly, placing his hand on my arm. But I'm not just going to let that go.

"Unlike you, Edward knows how to treat a lady," I reply through clenched teeth.

"Sure he does," Mike retorts. "Or maybe he knows how to _be_ the lady."

"What?"

"Come on, Bella… you think a pretty boy like that didn't spend 18 years as someone's bitch? Or maybe they all passed him around."

Edward's hand disappears, and I see red, taking a step forward. How _dare_ Mike insinuate something so horrible… and where Edward can so obviously hear him!

My arm moves before my brain can even send the signal, and the next thing I know, there's a shooting pain in my hand as it connects with Mike's jaw.

"What the fuck, Bella?!" he shouts, taking a step backwards and rubbing his jaw. I hear more than a few murmurs and snickers from the crowd getting a free show.

"Don't you ever say something like that!" I growl.

"Whatever…" He turns around, walking away and muttering, "Bitch," under his breath.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I glare at all of the nosy people openly staring, then turn back toward Edward — scared to death of what I might find. He's still sitting at the table, staring down at his lap.

"Edward?" I ask cautiously, retaking my seat beside him.

"Your ice cream is melting," he replies in a flat voice.

"I've lost my appetite. You want it?" He shakes his head. "Do you want to go home?"

At his nod, I stand up, tossing the remains of my cone into the trash can a few feet away. I join Edward, walking beside him toward my truck. Fuck, my hand really hurts now that the adrenaline has worn off a bit.

"It's unlocked," I remind him, heading toward the driver's door.

"Bella?" he calls quietly, and I turn around, startled by how close he's standing. I look up at him in question. "I wasn't."

"What?" My brow furrows in confusion. "You weren't what?"

"Wh-what he said."

My eyes widen. "Oh!" I lean up to kiss him softly.

As I climb into the truck, my mind is racing. I'd thought that Edward's admission last Sunday, that someone had held their hand over his mouth, meant that he'd been… sexually abused. Is he now saying that he wasn't? Or just that he wasn't abused… repeatedly?

Edward lights up a cigarette as soon as I've parked the truck in our driveway. I follow him to the side porch, then sit beside him, rubbing his back with my left hand while I flex my aching right hand.

"Did you hurt yourself?" he asks quietly.

"Mike has a hard jaw."

Edward chuckles, tossing the remains of his cigarette away. He takes my hand in his, poking at it, and I try not to whimper. "I don't think it's broken," he announces. "You should probably ice it."

"Sure thing, Doc," I grin. Later.

As we sit there, I lean my head on his shoulder while I continue rubbing his back, his neck, playing with the hair above his ears. I just can't stop touching him.

"Does this bother you?" Shit, maybe I should've asked sooner. "Touching you, I mean."

"It's fine," he shakes his head.

"Did anyone… touch you for those 18 years?" Edward whips his head around to stare at me, and I quickly add, "I-I mean in a good way. And Jane doesn't count."

He sighs, slouching down a bit and stretching his legs out. "I wasn't allowed contact visits," he replies quietly.

My brow furrows. "So your parents…"

"Had to look at me through bulletproof glass and talk to me on the phone."

"So no one hugged you for 18 years?" I realize in horror. He shakes his head, and I just feel so _awful_ for him. Forgetting the pain in my right hand, I wrap both arms around him, hugging him tightly. He tugs me until I'm sitting across his lap, squeezing me just as tightly.

Pulling away slightly, I lean up and kiss him, then bite my lip. "Want to go inside?" I ask hesitantly.

Edward chuckles. "Are you propositioning me?"

"Maaaaybe."

But then we're both startled by Esme's car as she arrives home, driving past us toward the Cullens' garage.

"Maybe we'll just ice your hand," he amends.

* * *

On Saturday, after his appointment with his shrink, Edward's parents drive him to Port Angeles to buy a car. He knocks on my door as soon as they get home and I rush outside with him to see it.

"You got the one we were looking at it!" I exclaim with a smile, seeing the large red SUV parked at the curb. Edward's parents are standing in the driveway watching us.

"Yep, it was still available," he smiles. He opens the back and folds the rear seats down, showing me how much room it has for the luggage and other things that we'll be bringing with us to Arizona.

I admit that I sort of zone out when he starts telling me about the engine and gas mileage and all of the different features. I do like the remote start thing though, so we'll be able to cool it off before getting inside on hot days.

"Edward," Dr. Cullen calls, "Would you and Bella come inside for a minute? We wanted to talk to you about something."

I glance at Edward but he seems as clueless as I am. He takes my hand and we follow them inside.

"Please have a seat," his mother says. I try not to show my nervousness as I sit beside Edward.

"What's up, Mom?"

"Carlisle and I have talked, and… we'd like to go to Tucson with you." My eyes widen; the idea had never occurred to me. "We've missed too many years with you, Edward."

"You'd retire to Arizona?"

"Not necessarily retire," his dad corrects. "Your mom and I may be over 60, but we're not ready to be put out to pasture just yet. We'd try to find jobs there."

"We're hoping you won't feel it's too close for us to be in the same general area. We don't want to make you uncomfortable," his mom adds. "We understand you won't be living with us."

I look to Edward to respond, since they're his parents.

"You guys would really sell your house here and pick up your entire lives to follow us?" he asks, sounding shocked.

"In a heartbeat," his mother replies. "You mean so much more to us than a house or our jobs or a handful of good friends."

"I never wanted to hurt you," Edward implores. "I hated the idea of leaving you behind after all you've done for me."

"So you're ok with it?"

"More than ok," he nods.

"Bella?" Esme prompts.

"Of-of course. I hated the idea of taking Edward away from you." But not enough to leave _him_ behind.

"Then it's settled," Dr. Cullen says, clapping his hands together. "We'll start talking to realtors on Monday to get this place listed and start looking for a house in Tucson."

"Do you know where you'll be living yet, Bella?" Esme asks.

"Yes," I confirm. "My mom found us an awesome apartment that's about five miles northwest of campus, but right on one of the bus lines."

"Does your mom know about the two of you?" she asks tentatively.

"No, she doesn't," I admit. It's not like they've spoken regularly since I turned 18, but I begged Dad not to tell her about Edward. Since I haven't gotten any freaked-out calls from my mom, I think he's listened to me.

"I asked Bella not to tell her mom," Edward speaks up. "I'm hoping she can introduce me later as her boyfriend, with no mention that I followed her from Forks. I don't want her to judge me any more than she will once she's figured out how old I am."

"I'm not so sure my mom won't recognize his name, but… I'm willing to try," I add, squeezing Edward's hand.

* * *

**A/N:** So they're the talk of the town, as expected. Bella's got a bit of a protective streak where her boyfriend is concerned. Mike deserved that though.

Esme and Carlisle are planning to move to Tucson with them! Several of you have suggested that they should do that. And those who've read the contest one-shot with its "four years later" already knew that they do.

Next update on **Tuesday**.


	16. The Escape

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story!

Such a violent bunch you guys are! Not only were you all cheering Bella on for punching Mike, but some of you were wishing she could've kneed him, or at least caused a bit more damage.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 16 — The Escape_

After the ice cream parlor incident, Edward and I make the mutual decision to not go out together in Forks again. I still don't care what anyone says about me, but I don't want him to have to deal with any shit from the likes of Mike Newton, even if it's all lies.

And Edward doesn't want me to risk breaking my hand next time, or worse, get myself arrested. I remind him that my dad is the Chief of Police and would never arrest me, but he's not buying it.

And so when I'm not working at the bakery, we spend our days in Port Angeles, or in the meadow or at the beach.

While Edward is meeting with his therapist on Tuesday, Angela and I spend the afternoon in Port Angeles. Besides a bathing suit, I need an entire summer wardrobe, basically, since summer in Tucson is very different from summer in Forks. I have only one pair of shorts, which isn't going to cut it in a climate that's above 90 degrees from May through September.

Dad continues to do a lot of huffing and puffing, but there's absolutely nothing he can say or do to change my mind about Edward. I just wish he'd get to know my boyfriend, give him a chance. I try to convince him to let me invite Edward over for dinner, but it seems like Dad just isn't interested in being proven wrong.

* * *

The following Saturday, three days before we're scheduled to leave Forks, Edward's father is working and his mom is in Port Angeles meeting with their chosen realtor, so I volunteer to drive him to and from his last therapy appointment. I have to stop by Forks Outfitters anyway to help train my replacement.

When I glance at my phone and see that it's 2:31pm, I quickly make my excuses and head back out to my truck. As I turn into the lot near Dr. Jenks' office, I see four men standing in a half circle facing the building, their backs to me. Curious, I keep my eye on them, then nearly have a heart attack when I see Edward standing facing them, his back pressed up against the brick wall and his hands out in front of his body.

I stop the truck right there in the middle of the lot, quickly shifting into Park and pulling the key out at the same time as I open the door.

"Get the fuck away from him!" I scream, rushing toward the group, my keychain held out in my right hand, while I grab my phone from my pocket with my left.

One of the guys turns around, looking me up and down. "And what's going to make us?" he asks snidely.

"I've got pepper spray and my dad — the fucking Chief of Police — on speed dial," I growl, quickly tapping the screen to call him. "Get away from him or I'll have my dad throw your asses in jail so fast your heads will spin."

"_Bells?_" he answers on one ring.

"Dad, these guys are harassing Edward," I blurt out. "Division Street—"

"All right, all right… we'll go!" The guy motions to his counterparts and they take off.

"It's ok… I'll call you back," I hurriedly end the call, rushing over to Edward.

"Edward, can you hear me?" I call. He's clearly panicking, his eyes squeezed shut and his knees buckling. "Breathe, Edward."

He holds his arm out, as if telling me to stay back, then turns around, bending over and throwing up against the side of the building. When he's done, he collapses to his knees, coughing and gasping.

"Edward, I need to touch you," I warn, but I have no idea if he hears me or not. I carefully put my arm around his shoulders. "Should I take you inside to Dr. Jenks?" He shakes his head, still breathing far too heavily. "Call your dad?"

"G-go," he chokes out.

I frown, not sure if he's telling me to go, or saying he wants me to take him away from here. There's no way in hell I'm leaving him. "Can you stand? I'll help you."

I manage to pull him to his feet, leading his shaking form back to the truck. I open the passenger door, needing him to help me, because I sure as hell can't lift him up into the cab. Once I've got him in, I slam the door shut, rushing around to the still-open driver's side door.

As soon as I've closed my door, Edward collapses onto his side, his head in my lap, and I gently stroke my fingers through his hair. I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest; I can only imagine how Edward must feel right now.

"Breathe, Edward, you're ok. I'm here," I repeat over and over until his breathing starts to slow.

"Should I take you home?" I ask quietly. At least his parents aren't around to see him like this. He shakes his head, though. "How about the beach then, ok?" There's something about such a wide open space that seems to resonate with him.

"Ok," he whispers, and I start the truck, pulling out of the lot. Instead of heading straight to LaPush, I drive back to the Thriftway so I can buy him a bottle of water or something. As I pull into a parking spot, I rub his shoulder a few times.

"I need you to let me up. I'll be right back."

"No!" he yells, holding tightly to my leg. "Don't go…"

"I want to get you some water, I'll be right back."

"No… Bella, please…" His desperation nearly kills me.

"Ok," I concede, stroking his hair in an attempt to calm him. I turn back north on the 101, making the left turn onto LaPush Road, doing my best to drive with just my left hand, while I never stop touching Edward with my right.

When I see the Lonesome Creek Store on the outskirts of LaPush, I decide to try again. "Edward," I whisper, once I've parked. "Can I get out now? I'll be back in two minutes, I _promise_. I'll make sure the doors are locked."

He slowly sits up and I reach across his body to lock the passenger door, then hop down, running inside. I find the refrigerated section in the back and grab three bottles of water, then rush to the register to pay for them.

"Hey, Bells."

_Oh God, not now…_

I turn around, giving a cursory nod to Jacob Black.

"So are the rumors true?" he asks. "Are you really dating Edward Cullen?"

"I don't have time for this, Jacob," I snap irritably, quickly pocketing my change. Without a backwards glance, I'm out of the store.

I get back in the truck, then hurriedly twist the cap off one of the bottles, holding it up for Edward to take a drink. He drains half of it in one swallow, then I put the cap back on, setting it back in the bag.

"Um… I'd have to retrace my steps for the road to Rialto Beach. Or we could go to First Beach?" He nods, but I have no clue what he's nodding to, so I decide to continue on to First Beach.

Parking the truck, I grab the bag with the water bottles. By the time I've reached the passenger side, Edward is on his feet, trying to light a cigarette. His hand is shaking so badly that he can't hold the lighter in place.

"Here," I say softly, taking it from him. I flick it, then hold it up to the cigarette in his mouth until it burns. Standing back, I let him take a few puffs, then take his arm and start leading him down to the beach.

Luckily it doesn't seem too crowded today. I lead Edward toward one of the many fallen trees to sit on, but instead he takes a seat on the sand, leaning against one of the tree trunks.

I stand watching him for a moment, remembering two weeks ago in the meadow when he also sat leaning against a tree. I wonder if there's something about having the hard surface against his back that's… comforting. I know he told me once that he prefers booths so that no one can sneak up behind him.

When he's finished his cigarette, he tosses the butt aside then runs his hand through his hair repeatedly. I pull the half-empty bottle of water out of the bag, holding it out to him, and he takes it from me, quickly draining the rest of it.

"I bought two more… just say the word," I tell him quietly.

Edward brings his knees up, wrapping his arms around his legs and leaning his forehead on them. I carefully sit down beside him, not touching him.

"Can I touch you?" I whisper. He nods, and I place my arm on his shoulders, rubbing the back of his neck. When he lifts his head, I take him in my arms, stroking any part of him that I can reach until his shaking has subsided.

I don't want to make him worse when I've just got him calm, but…

"Did you know those guys, Edward?"

He sighs, sitting up and pulling out his pack of cigarettes again. Once he's lit another one, he nods. "One of them was Bree's brother."

I gasp. "So… he still thinks you're guilty?"

"Yeah…"

"Did you know him before?"

"Brady was my year in school, but we didn't have the same circle of friends. But it's Forks, so of course I had at least a few classes with him."

"Did they… touch you?"

He shakes his head. "Just… taunted me, and threatened me. It was enough though."

"Three more days and we'll be out of here," I remind him.

Edward turns to look at me, his eyes pleading. "Can we leave tomorrow?"

"What?"

"I need to be away from here. I don't… I don't think I can feel safe here anymore."

"Edward, you live next door to the Chief of Police."

"It doesn't matter," he replies, shaking his head. "It isn't something rational. I just need to get out of Forks."

"Well… we can't get into the apartment until Thursday, but… I guess maybe we could take a couple more days to drive down there, maybe do some sightseeing. I'm mostly packed."

"Me too." He tosses the remains of his cigarette and reaches for the bag, pulling out another bottle of water.

"If that's what you need, we can leave in the morning."

"Thank you," he whispers, leaning over to kiss me.

"We aren't alone on this beach, so don't even think about it."

"I wasn't."

"Yes, you were."

He gives me a small smile and I hug him tightly. "Ready to go home?"

* * *

When I pull into the driveway at home, Dad is outside talking to the Cullens. I look at him curiously as I hop out of the truck.

"Bells! What the hell is going on? You tell me some guys are harassing Edward, then say you'll call me back, but you never called!"

"Edward, are you all right?" his mother asks worriedly, running up to him as he comes around the front of the truck.

He holds his hand up, holding her off. "I'm ok now."

"Bree's brother and three of his… friends, I guess, ran into Edward when I was a couple minutes late picking him up after his appointment. I was able to chase them away by calling you, Dad. I'm sorry I hung up like that, but I needed to help Edward."

"Help him? Was he hurt?" Dad asks. "I can bring them down to the station."

"No, they didn't touch him, but… he was… upset." I don't really want to tell Dad about Edward's panic attacks.

"Are you sure you're all right, Edward?" his father asks.

"I need to leave," he says quietly. "Bella agreed we can leave for Tucson tomorrow."

"Bells?"

I nod toward my father. "I need to finish packing, but I'm ok with leaving tomorrow."

"Bella, why don't you and your father come over for dinner for your last night?" Esme offers.

I look to Edward and he nods, so I quickly agree. "That sounds great."

"Excellent. You can help Edward finish up his packing while I get dinner ready."

Dad needs to call the station first, so Edward and I follow his parents inside. "Is spaghetti ok, Edward?"

"Sure, Mom," he answers quietly, leading me to the stairs.

Upstairs, he points for me to wait in his room while he steps into the bathroom. I take a seat on the bed, exhaling heavily at how fucked-up this day has been. When Edward comes back, he closes and locks the door, stalking over toward me. Placing his hands on either side of my hips, he leans down to kiss me softly, then motions for me to lie down.

"I thought we were supposed to be packing?" I lie back anyway, letting him crawl over me.

"Later."

And so we make out on the bed, kissing and touching and loving. I know Edward is probably doing this because he _needs_ to as much as he wants to, but I need him too. Seeing him earlier today, cornered by those men… I've never been so scared or so angry in my life.

"Please," he whispers, reaching for the bottom of my shirt. I lift my arms without hesitation, letting him take it off, and his lips skim over the swell of my breasts.

I know his parents — and possibly my dad — are right downstairs. We can't have sex, but oh God, I do want him.

"Edward! Bella! Dinner is ready!" his father calls.

Edward groans, burying his face in my neck. Blowing out a breath, he sits up, adjusting himself in his jeans, and I try not to laugh at him as I put my shirt back on and run my fingers through my hair. Yeah, the last thing he needs is to go downstairs with a hard-on.

He takes my hand and we head down to the kitchen. My dad is seated at one end of the table, with two places set up on either side. I take the open seat next to Dad, figuring there's no way Edward would want to sit there.

Esme fixes our plates of spaghetti with garlic bread, then sets them down in front of each of us before taking her own seat next to her husband.

"What are you going to be studying in school, Bella?" Carlisle asks, breaking the awkward silence.

"Sustainable Communities," I give him the short answer, not wanting to bore him.

"What about you, Edward?" Dad asks, before I get any follow-up questions. "Are you planning to go to college or get a job?"

"I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet," he replies quietly.

"So what do you plan to do all day while Bella is at school?"

"Dad," I warn him through clenched teeth.

"It's a fair question, Isabella," he retorts.

I glance at Edward, but he's just staring down at his plate. His parents are looking at him expectantly, as if they're also curious to hear his answer.

"The apartment complex Mom found has a large pool and a fitness room," I speak up when it appears that he's not going to. "Plus, Edward's therapist recommended that he start running again; he'll have plenty to keep himself busy." Except for one afternoon, all of my classes this semester are in the morning, so I'll have my afternoons free to spend with Edward. It couldn't have worked out better… other than the early mornings for me.

"Did you get the money from the State yet, Edward?" Dad asks.

"Yeah, a few weeks ago. I've got time to figure out what I want to do."

"You know, I was fresh out of the police academy, so I wasn't involved in your case at all. I know the officers involved did the best they could, but I still feel awful for what you've gone through due to the Forks police department," Dad admits, and I can't help my smile. That's probably the nicest thing he's said to Edward.

"Thank you," Edward whispers.

I'm thankful when the Cullens start talking about their own upcoming move and Edward is no longer the center of attention. I notice he's more or less just pushing his food around on his plate, and I frown. He usually has a good appetite, so I know he must be really bothered by what happened today.

"Are you ok?" I whisper.

He gives me a small smile in return. "I will be once we're out of Forks."

* * *

**A/N:** Did anyone actually watch the first season of _Rectify_ in 2013? If you did, you know I could've been a lot meaner to Edward!

Another major panic attack, not caused by Bella this time. Edward needs to leave Forks ASAP so he can find some peace of mind.

Was that maybe a tiny touch of sympathy from Charlie there at the end?

Next update on **Friday**. Road trip!


	17. The Trip

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story!

A clarification since there were a few questions: Edward was released because Bree's real killer was found. Bella mentioned this early in the first chapter. Old evidence was tested for DNA and all results pointed to a man already in prison for a similar crime. Some of the townspeople believe Edward must've been involved in some way since he was at the crime scene.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 17 — The Trip_

Sunday morning, I get up early to get ready, then add the things I used this morning to the bags I packed after dinner last night. Downstairs, I peek out the kitchen window, spotting Edward on the side porch.

"Hey," I call with a smile as I step outside. When I reach him, my eyes widen slightly at his appearance. His clothes are different, but he hasn't shaved and there are dark circles beneath his eyes.

"Did you sleep at all?" I ask, shocked by his appearance.

"Maybe a half hour," he answers quietly.

I frown, stepping closer until he pulls me onto his lap, kissing me quickly. "Get me away from here," he begs.

"Ok," I agree, rubbing his back softly. "Soon. Have you had breakfast?"

He shakes his head. "Why don't you come over and I'll make us all something to eat, then we can go, ok? Do you have your things in the car already?"

"Yeah. I can take yours out for you while you make breakfast."

I get up off his lap, leading Edward into the house so he can grab my bags. I notice Dad eyeing him suspiciously when he disappears up the stairs.

"He's just getting my stuff to put in the car," I explain, pulling out a box of Bisquick from the pantry to make us some pancakes.

"Bells," my dad sighs. "There's something not right about that guy."

"He's lived through a traumatic experience," I reply quietly, hoping Edward doesn't overhear. "He's still learning how to deal with that, but he will never, ever hurt me, Dad."

It takes several trips, but eventually Edward has everything in the car. He walks warily into the kitchen, giving my father a wide berth as he takes a seat at the table.

While the first batch of pancakes cooks on the griddle, I grab some butter and maple syrup, setting them out on the table. "Can you cook at all?" I ask Edward curiously. "Not that I mind, if you can't," I add quickly.

"Dad taught me to use a grill. And I can boil water and use a microwave." _So that's a no then._

"The information on the apartment complex says they have grills for residents to use, so you can show me that one," I smile, and he smiles back.

I decide to give two pancakes to my dad and two to Edward, then start on the next four. The guys are ready for more by the time I finish them, and they're done eating before I can even start eating mine. Dad gets up to wash the dishes while Edward just looks like he needs a nap.

"How far are you planning to drive today, Bells?" Dad asks from the sink.

"I don't know… we can't get into the apartment until Thursday, so we could take five days to drive there, or take four days and spend a day sightseeing somewhere. If we stay on the interstate, we won't hit many interesting places between Portland and Los Angeles, I don't think."

"Call me when you've stopped for the night."

"Sure, Dad."

Once I've finished eating, we all head outside, and Edward lets his parents know we're ready to leave. After he's smoked a cigarette and there have been numerous hugs all around, I climb into the driver's seat of the Equinox and start it up.

We're quiet until I drive past the southern city limits of Forks. Edward lets out a breath, leaning his head back with a soft smile on his face. This is it — we're really doing this.

"Get some rest, Edward."

"I can't. I just… want to watch the miles add up between us and Forks."

"Stop me when you need a smoke or the bathroom, otherwise I'll only stop when I need to," I warn him.

Ok, maybe I'd gotten bored when Edward was describing all of his — our, he says — new car's features, but I do like that it has both a navigation system and satellite radio. I'm even nice and let him listen to the '80s and '90s stations.

As I drive, I'm both excited and terrified about what's to come for us. I'm excited to be in college, to have a chance to be independent for the first time.

But I'm also really nervous. Up until we told our parents two weeks ago, Edward and I were living in our own little bubble. In some ways, it's still just the two of us, at least until his parents move to Tucson. But we'll be living in our own apartment, as adults, for the first time. Both of us — Edward may be 37 years old, but he's never lived as a normal, independent adult.

But our bubble has popped. We will soon be interacting with a whole new crowd of people. People who don't know Edward as the guy who served 18 years in prison for a horrible crime that he didn't commit. People who don't have any inherent prejudice against him. But also people who'll be expecting him to be "normal" when he's not. Not yet, anyway. What if they all expect _too_ much of him?

We make a quick stop at the first rest area after getting onto I-5 South, then continue on until we've crossed the Columbia River into Oregon. I stop somewhere in the downtown area of Portland so we can get a bite to eat and walk around for a little while to stretch our legs.

Edward hasn't napped at all and looks pretty much dead on his feet, though he does seem to be excited to be out of the state of Washington. Despite my reservations, I have to believe that this move is the best thing for him.

We get back on the road again mid-afternoon, deciding to stop for the night in Eugene a few hours later, since it's the last decent-sized city for a while. I exit the interstate when I see a sign pointing out a number of motels and hotels.

We really haven't talked much about the money situation, though I know Edward now has plenty of it. Still, I don't want to stay at a place for $100 a night when there are cheaper places across the street.

I eventually settle on a Super 8, which looks nice enough from the road. Edward hands me his new credit card, and I reluctantly take it to go check in.

After getting a room, I pull into a parking place close by, pointing out to Edward which of my suitcases has the things I'll need for tonight and tomorrow morning.

Our room is… well, kind of tacky, with a blue accent wall and wildly patterned carpet, which both clash with the purple and green bedspread on the double bed. I'm not sure in which era this was ever stylish.

Edward goes outside to smoke while I look over the laminated card listing the nearby restaurants. When he comes back inside, he folds down the bedspread and flops onto the bed, sighing. Somehow, I don't think I'm going to get him up again.

"Here's the list of nearby restaurants," I hand him the card. "We could go to Outback or something if you want steak."

He shakes his head. "You can go to the McDonald's drive-thru and it would be fine. I don't think I want to go out."

"How about Five Guys burgers instead?" I've only eaten fast food while visiting my mom in Phoenix, and I'm not a huge fan.

"Fine," he agrees easily. "Just get me a bacon cheeseburger with everything."

I give him a soft smile, grabbing my purse and heading out. If I was a betting person, I'd place money that he'll be asleep by the time I get back. I give my dad a quick call while I'm waiting for our burgers to let him know where we are.

When I get back to the motel about 15 minutes later, Edward is curled on his side but he's still awake. Once we've eaten and he's gone outside for a cigarette, I talk him into getting undressed and trying to get some sleep. He should feel much better once he's had a good night's sleep.

Meanwhile, I get on my phone, trying to plan out how far to drive tomorrow. If we stay on the interstate, we should easily be able to make it to Sacramento. Or, we could head toward the coast from Grants Pass and take a more scenic drive. I'll leave it up to Edward.

Speaking of… as I stare over at his sleeping body, I start to get a little nervous about sharing a bed with him tonight. We have before, of course, at least for short naps. But what if he bumps into me during the night and it startles him to have someone sharing his bed? Or what if I accidentally touch _him_ and it causes a panic attack? This bed really isn't that large; it could happen easily.

When I get tired, I head to the bathroom for my nightly routine, then crawl into bed. I lie as close to the edge as I can without falling out — praying that nothing bad happens tonight.

* * *

My prayers aren't answered.

It's still dark out when I hear an anguished cry of, "Nooooo…"

"Dream," he mumbles. "Just a dream…"

"Edward?" I call.

It's the wrong thing to do, because he startles awake, scurrying away from me so quickly he falls to the floor with a thump. I hurriedly turn on the light beside the bed, then scramble to help him.

When I reach him, Edward is curled into a ball on the floor, his hands over his face. "Edward… it's Bella! You're ok, Edward."

"Just a dream…" he cries.

I'm not sure this is the best thing to do, but I grab hold of his wrists, pulling his hands away from his face. He stares up at me, looking absolutely terrified.

"It's me, it's Bella."

"You're not a dream?" he whispers.

My brow furrows. "No, sweetheart. I'm real." I thought he'd been trying to convince himself that he was only having a bad dream, but now I'm not so sure.

"Can you sit up?" I ask when he just continues to stare at me. I help him to sit, and he immediately scoots backwards until he's leaning against the nightstand, then runs his hand through his hair roughly.

"I thought I'd dreamt it all… getting out of prison… you."

"You woke up thinking you were still in prison?" I clarify.

He nods. "They're too rough."

"What are?"

"The sheets. Like the sheets in my cell."

"Oh," I breathe, finally understanding him. He's only wearing boxers. "Um… do you have pajamas? So your skin won't touch the sheets."

"I have lounge pants."

"Are they in the bag you brought inside?" Because I'd go outside and dig through the back of the SUV if I had to.

"Yeah," he nods.

I get up off the floor, then look through Edward's suitcase until I find the pants and a t-shirt, handing them to him to put on. I wish I'd found something with long sleeves.

I convince him to get back into bed, with the top sheet pushed off of him, then reach up and turn the light out. I roll onto my side along the edge of the bed again, but Edward pulls me back into his chest, spooning behind me.

* * *

The next time I wake up, I am much too warm. I open my eyes to find myself lying on my back, with Edward more or less draped all over me, his head between my breasts and arms wrapped around me. Maybe I'm softer than the sheets?

I'm immediately hit with a wave of guilt. I'm the one who picked the cheap motel. From now on, we obviously need to stay at pricier places with nicer bedding.

The sun is up, but I can't move to see the time. I don't think it's _too_ late though, where we'll be late to check out or something, so I decide to let Edward sleep for a while longer.

Until maybe 15 or 20 minutes later, when I really need to get up and pee.

_Shit._ We haven't talked about this. How do I wake him up? I should've set my phone alarm last night or something.

"Edward?" I whisper. No response. I slowly reach out my hand, trailing my fingers along his bare arm, hoping that he doesn't even realize it's a _person_ touching him.

"Mmm…" he mumbles.

"Edward?" I breathe a sigh of relief when he lifts his head, looking at me with an adorable sleepy expression. "You need to let me up."

His brow furrows in confusion as he stares down at our position. "Sorry," he croaks out, rolling off of me and sitting up.

And I hurriedly crawl out of bed and run for the bathroom.

When I come back, Edward is still sitting up in bed, running his fingers through his mess of hair. He's going to need to get that cut soon.

"Do you need the bathroom before my shower?" I ask, digging around in my suitcase to find some clothes for the day.

"Yeah," he sighs.

When he comes back out, he grabs his pack of cigarettes from the dresser, avoiding looking me in the eye. He unlocks the door and steps outside without a word. I'll deal with his mood later.

I take a quick shower then get dressed and brush my teeth. When I step out of the bathroom, Edward is sitting on the edge of the bed, looking a bit lost.

"I'm sorry," he says suddenly.

"About what?"

"Last night. I didn't know that would happen."

Walking over to him, I place my hands on his shoulders and gaze into his sad green eyes. "You don't need to apologize for something you can't help. We'll get a nicer hotel tonight, ok?" He nods. "If you go take your shower now, we can stop by the office for breakfast; they only serve until 10am and it's 9:20."

While he's in the bathroom, I brush my hair and put on a little make-up. At least no one has accused me of being Edward's daughter in the last several weeks, not since we went car shopping.

Once Edward is ready, we head over to the office for the continental breakfast. Since it's late, only a few people are still seated there. I just want some cereal, but I watch Edward pour some of the premeasured batter into the waffle iron for a Belgian waffle. He can 'cook' something after all.

As we eat, I describe our options for today's drive to Edward and he asks for time to think about it. We have about two hours of driving until he needs to decide at least _something_.

After breakfast, we pack up our bags and Edward puts them in the car, then stays outside smoking while I check out. And we're on our way.

When I see the sign for Grants Pass, I let him know that his time is almost up.

"Stay on the interstate," he decides. "I'll let you know later if I want to stop and visit somewhere."

We grab a quick lunch somewhere in Northern California, then continue on toward Sacramento. I give Edward my phone at a rest area and show him how to look for hotels. He finds us a Hilton right near the highway, giving me the directions to find it.

Like the night before, I park out front, leaving Edward to smoke a cigarette while I check in with his credit card.

"ID?" the front desk clerk asks, and I show her my driver's license.

"I'm sorry, but we don't rent rooms to those under 21."

I frown. "My boyfriend is over 21; he's just outside."

"Then he needs to come in and register; I'm sorry. Hotel policy."

I turn around and head for the door, trying not to grumble. "That was fast," Edward smiles when I step outside.

"Uh… you need to come check in. They won't let me since I'm under 21."

Chuckling, he tosses his cigarette, following me inside. The clerk's eyes widen slightly when she sees him; I don't know if I'd prefer it to be due to his age or the fact that he's hot.

Within a couple of minutes, we've got our room keys and are bringing our bags into the room. It does look much nicer than last night's, with a solid-color carpet, tan walls and crisp white bedding. And it's a king-sized bed; I just hope the bedding is soft.

We have dinner at a restaurant on the Sacramento River, not far from the hotel, then come back to get settled in for the night. I kick off my shoes and lie back on the bed while Edward is out smoking.

"Do you have a plan for us yet?" I ask when he comes inside.

"Yeah… I want to go to Disneyland."

* * *

**A/N:** No offense to Super 8 motels, but that room description was based on a photo of the motel in Eugene, Oregon.

Poor Edward, excited to be out of Forks, but he just can't catch a break. But what is he thinking now with his request to go to Disneyland?

Is Bella right to be concerned about how Edward will handle so many new faces? As more than one reader pointed out, she's pretty much been his whole world, besides his parents.

Next update on **Tuesday**. By page count in my Word doc, this is the halfway point in the story.


	18. The Park

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story!

There are some reservations about Disneyland and fears of a possible meltdown, but safe to say that everyone hopes Edward has a great time.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 18 — The Park_

I couldn't possible have heard Edward correctly. "Disneyland?" I repeat.

He nods. "My parents took me for my seventh birthday. I… you know how when a team wins the Super Bowl, some reporter always asks the players what they're going to do now? They always say they're going to Disneyland." I give him a blank stare.

"At least… at least they used to do that the last time I saw the Super Bowl," he adds quietly. "It's like… I was released from prison, what am _I_ going to do now?"

I smile softly at him. "Edward… I know some schools have started back already, but… it's still summer, and Disneyland will be crowded. You don't like crowds."

He comes to sit beside me on the bed. "Jenks said… he said I shouldn't just avoid situations where I'm not comfortable. I need to push myself sometimes."

"But this is a big push, Edward."

"I want to be normal again, so I need to try," he insists. "I can do it if you're by my side."

"You know I love you just the way you are, right?"

He gives me a tiny smile. "I want to be better for you." I gaze at him for a few moments, and he does seem like he sincerely wants to do this. I have to trust him to know what he can and can't handle.

"Ok," I agree, grabbing my phone from the nightstand. "Let's find a place to stay near Disneyland."

I bring up the park's website and nearly have a heart attack at the prices for the Disneyland hotels. "Um, let's look for something nearby but not actually _on_ the property."

Edward chuckles. "I have plenty of money, Bella."

"I know, but… I grew up solidly middle class. I'm not used to being extravagant."

"And I grew up getting anything I wanted," he replies with a frown.

We settle on a Sheraton hotel, right across the street from Disneyland, making the reservation for two nights in Edward's name, in case they have the same policy about being over 21.

"Are you planning to get a smartphone?" I ask as I set it back down on the table.

He shrugs from where he's lying beside me. "Are you gonna teach me how to use it?"

"Sure," I grin. "I taught my dad."

"Well, if your _dad_ knows how to use one…" he growls, rolling over on top of me. "I don't want to be more of an old fogey than he is."

"I never think of you as old, Edward — really."

"And I love you for it." He brushes my hair back from my face, leans down to kiss me softly, then bites his lip. "So it's just you and me and a king-sized bed."

Oh, I like where this is going. "Think we could make good use of it?" I tease.

"Definitely," he grins, kissing me again.

I wrap my arms around him, opening my mouth to his. I love the way he seems to pour his entire heart and soul into our kisses.

When my lips are swollen, he mumbles, "Need your skin," and starts lifting up my t-shirt. I happily let him take it off and unhook my bra. He tugs his own shirt over his head, then his lips pull and tug at my nipples while his hands brush softly across my stomach. I bury my fingers in his soft hair, my eyes closed. We haven't had a chance to have sex in over a week, and I've been missing his touch.

Edward kisses a trail down my stomach, his tongue circling my navel, and I start squirming beneath him for a little relief.

"You want me, baby?" he asks. I can hear the smile in his voice.

"Always." I open my eyes, smiling at the way he's watching me.

He pops the button on my shorts, slowly pulling the zipper down. I lift my hips so that he can remove my shorts and panties, then try not to laugh at the way his eyes widen.

"Wh-what's this?"

I can feel my face heat up as he stares between my legs. When Angela and I went shopping in Port Angeles last week, we stopped by a day spa… to get waxed.

"It's… most young women wax today. Guys under 30 have probably never seen body hair on a woman. But if you don't like it, I don't have to do it again," I quickly add. I really wasn't looking forward to the idea of a full Brazilian, but I was hoping it was a subtle way of convincing Edward to get with the current decade.

He continues to stare for a moment, then stretches out between my legs, wrapping his arms around my hips. I shudder when his lips touch the sensitive skin on the inside of my left thigh. He kisses up my thigh, then moves to my other leg, doing the same thing. If he doesn't touch me _there_ soon, I may combust.

I nearly jump off the bed when he lightly brushes one finger over my hairless pussy. Carefully, he spreads my lower lips, then touches me with the tip of his tongue. When he flattens his tongue and licks the whole length of my slit, I can't help my moan.

Fast, slow, long licks, tiny flicks of the tongue… He eats me out like it's his freakin' _job_ until I'm a panting mess, screaming out his name.

"God, you're good at that," I groan. I owe a huge thank you to whoever taught him to be that good —though I really don't want to know who it was.

Edward chuckles, looking rather proud of himself as he sits up, staring down at my naked body.

"How do you want me?" I ask cheekily. "Any more fantasies in your head?"

He stares at me, biting his lip, then motions for me to turn over. "Get on your hands and knees," he directs softly.

I happily comply with his wishes, knowing that whatever he wants to do, I'll like it. I meant what I told my dad yesterday — there is no way Edward could ever hurt me. I'm 100% sure of that.

"Put your hands on the headboard."

I crawl forward a few steps to follow his instructions, hearing the rustle as Edward removes his own pants. And then I feel his hands on me, gently moving all of my hair over my left shoulder. He buries his face in the right side of my neck, sucking gently.

"I love you," he whispers.

His large hands brush down both sides of my back as he trails wet kisses down my spine. When he reaches my ass, he moves his hands around to my front, bringing them up until he's holding my breasts in his hands.

I moan as he pulls and tugs at my nipples with both hands. "Ready?" he whispers and I nod quickly, desperately. I am oh so ready for him to fill me.

Edward removes his right hand from my breast, and seconds later I feel his cock brushing between my legs. He pushes inside slowly, then stops.

Grabbing hold of my hips, he begins to move, encouraging me to rock back and forth in time with his thrusts. His hips slap against mine in a beautiful rhythm. He's hitting just the right spot inside me and it feels so, so good. He leans forward suddenly, and I can feel the heat of his skin against my back.

"Do you like this, Bella?" he whispers in my ear.

"Touch me," I groan. "Want to feel you."

Edward wraps one arm around my waist, his fingers playing me like an instrument, while his other hand moves back to my breast. He buries his face in my neck again, and I turn my head, kissing him as best I can.

It's almost too much, being completely surrounded by Edward, feeling him in so many different places. I'm getting so close to another climax.

"You feel so good," he whispers against my lips.

"So d—" I break off with a long moan when I come, glad that Edward is holding me up.

"God… fuck, Bella," he cries before I feel him coming. He wraps his arms tightly around me, burying his face in my neck again.

When he loosens his arms, I carefully get up to my knees and turn around, hugging him to me. "I love you so much," I whisper.

* * *

Well, we timed that poorly. It was only supposed to be about a six-hour drive from Sacramento to Anaheim, but we end up going through Los Angeles and Orange counties during the evening rush hour.

Our hotel is easy to find, right off the highway. This time I let Edward finish his cigarette before bringing him inside with me to get checked in. We bring our things that we'll need up to our room, then take advantage of the hotel's free shuttle to the Downtown Disney area.

We decide to eat dinner at an outdoor bar serving Spanish-style tapas. There are no booths, but at least our table is right next to the building. I smile at how relaxed Edward seems, drinking his beer; it's a good time to ask him what I put off asking him after we had sex last night.

I clear my throat. "Um, so… can we discuss our… sleeping arrangements?"

His brow furrows as he stares at me. "Sure?"

"The apartment has two bedrooms, so… I just wondered if… if you wanted your own room." All of the apartments have two, three or four bedrooms, intended for college students to share with roommates.

"Why would I?"

I shrug. "I don't want to… like… accidentally do something that causes a panic attack. If I touch you during the night, for example. Or if you bump into me."

"Has that happened yet?" he asks quietly.

"Well, _no_, but…"

"I can't be sure, but I don't think it will, Bella."

"You don't?" I ask, puzzled. He doesn't like to be surprised by a touch when he's awake, so why would being asleep be any different?

Sighing, he drains the rest of his beer, then runs his hand through his messy hair. Our waitress comes by to ask if he wants another and he tells her yes. Then he turns to me.

"I had my own cell."

"What?" I'm not following how that's relevant.

"No one… bothered me when I was asleep. I don't associate sleeping with… I did talk to Jenks about it, and he agreed that he thought I'd be ok sharing a bed with you."

"Ok," I smile, breathing a sigh of relief. "So I don't have to sleep on the edge and try not to move?"

"No," he chuckles. "Is that what you've been doing?"

I nod sheepishly, and he reaches across the table to take my hand. "I love you for trying so hard to be what I need."

"I love _you_, and I hate hurting you."

"You've… made the wrong move a couple of times, but you've also helped me more than you can imagine. You mean everything to me." He smiles softly, and I smile back.

* * *

The next morning, we take the hotel shuttle over to Disneyland right after we've finished breakfast. I keep a close eye on Edward as we walk down Main Street hand in hand, but he seems to be ok with all of the people — so far.

Edward wants to go on Space Mountain first, so we turn right off Main Street toward Tomorrowland. There's a bit of a line for this ride already, so we join the end of it.

"Did you go on this one when you were here before?" I ask.

"Yeah, it was my favorite," he smiles. "I don't really remember that many of the rides, but I do remember this one."

At some point, someone behind us laughs loudly and we both glance over our shoulders. I notice Edward stiffen a bit.

"What is it?" I whisper.

"So many people behind me," he whispers back.

I turn Edward slightly, so he's facing more toward the back of the line. Standing on my tiptoes and wrapping my arms around his neck, I kiss him gently and he seems to relax a bit.

After Space Mountain, we go to Autopia — where I tease Edward that he needs to get some driving practice in before attempting to get his license — then the Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage and the Matterhorn Bobsleds.

Walking through Frontiertown, we smell something amazing, following our noses to Bengal Barbecue for lunch. As we sit down to eat, I'm so overcome with pride for Edward. "You're doing great," I tell him with a smile.

"It's not too bad walking around. Being in line bothers me more, but I'm trying to convince myself that no one is paying me any attention, let alone out to get me." He rolls his eyes and I reach across the table to squeeze his hand.

"You remember Indiana Jones, right?" I ask a few minutes later, nodding toward the entrance nearby.

"Yeah," he nods, "That movie came out in the '80s. But what's all this _Frozen_ stuff I see everywhere?"

"Oh, _Frozen_ only came out in 2013, but it was huge."

"And I guess Nemo was a fish?"

"Yes," I chuckle, "Nemo is a fish. I was a little kid when that movie came out. I had a stuffed Nemo that I used to sleep with. I always preferred that to most of the princess stuff my dad thought I should like."

"I've missed so much," he says quietly.

"I guess you missed everything that came out in my lifetime," I frown.

"Don't feel sorry for me, Bella," he says gently. "It doesn't change anything. All I can do is make the most of my life now that I've got it back."

_That_ sounds like Edward's shrink talking. I get up to go sit on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. He kisses me until I notice the disapproving stare of a woman with her two young children at a table nearby.

We spend the rest of the afternoon walking all around the park, and as we near a large gift shop, I convince Edward to stop and take a look. I feel like we should get _some_ kind of souvenir to commemorate this trip.

"Oh my God, this place is overwhelming!" I exclaim, looking around at the shelves full of clothing and toys. "I don't even know where to start."

While I'm looking around, Edward wanders off somewhere, but I assume he's fine. "Here you go," he says suddenly, placing a crown on my head with a smile.

I take it off, glance at it, then put it back on. "Ok, I admit that Belle was always my favorite princess since we sort of share the same name."

Smiling, I pick up a magic wand from a nearby hook, tapping him on the head. "Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo," I chant. "You are now a strong, handsome and brave prince."

"As opposed to the frog I used to be?" he asks wryly.

"You were never a frog! And besides, Belle tames the Beast, not a frog."

"Like that's so much better," he laughs.

"You can be anything you want, Edward," I tell him, getting serious for just a moment. "You _are_ strong. And you were so brave to want to come here. I'm so proud of you."

He glances down, looking a little shy. I set the wand down, wrapping my arms around him, and he hugs me back tightly. "I couldn't have done it without you," he whispers.

When Edward pulls away, he takes my hand and leads me toward the door. "Let me put this back," I chuckle, taking the crown off.

"We're getting that," he declares with a smile.

"Don't you want anything for yourself?" There must be prince stuff around here somewhere.

"I'm good," he insists, shaking his head, but he needs to get _something_.

Spotting the ubiquitous Mickey Mouse ears, I plop those on his head, smoothing his hair down beneath them. "Perfect," I declare.

Once we've bought our souvenirs, we stop for dinner at the Plaza Inn, then we're right back out there, trying to see and do everything possible.

We watch the usual Disney night time fireworks from a spot on the grass near the Sleeping Beauty castle. I sit with my back to Edward's chest, his arms wrapped around me — the way I wish they could've been on the Fourth of July.

When the fireworks are finished, a massive crowd of people starts heading for Main Street and the exit. Edward is a bit freaked out by so many people, so we decide to sit and wait in our little bubble for a while longer.

Visiting the "happiest place on earth" turned out to be a great idea after all.

* * *

**A/N:** A successful trip, thanks to Bella there to distract him when he got a little freaked. And Edward was actually proactive enough to ask his shrink about sharing a bed with her, how about that?

Do you think Bella's subtle plan to convince Edward to manscape will work?

I've been to Disney World in Orlando, but never Disneyland in Anaheim, so special thanks to **Christy** my Disney expert for looking over the second half of this chapter.

Can we reach 2,000 reviews with this chapter? We need 126 as of posting time.

Next update on **Friday**.


	19. The Apartment

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! We blew away the 2,000-review goal, so thank you to everyone!

Everyone is happy for Edward and very proud of him for surviving Disneyland so well.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 19 — The Apartment_

Early Thursday morning, we take off for the last leg of our drive, again running into some of the rush-hour traffic on the freeways before we reach the open desert.

As we near Phoenix in the mid-afternoon, I start to feel a little bit guilty for being so close to my mother without stopping. But if we're going to try to pretend that I met Edward in Tucson, he'd have to hide in the car for hours while she and I get together. And I won't do that to him.

And I do have a good excuse: office hours at the apartment complex end at 6pm, so we have to be in Tucson before then.

Exiting the freeway, I turn right and drive about a mile until I see the apartments on the right, parking in front of the office.

"Oh my God," Edward exclaims as we step out of the car. I can't help chuckling; the thermometer in the car said it's 97 degrees, but I guess he hadn't seen that from the passenger seat. It's a huge change after living in Forks, but I've visited my mom before, so it's not that shocking to me.

While Edward stays outside to smoke, I head into the office to talk to the manager, who appears to be in his late 20s.

"Can I help you?" he asks as I step forward.

"Hi, I'm Isabella Swan. My mother talked to you about renting one of your apartments." She and Phil are also paying for it, along with my tuition. I know this is her attempt to make up for abandoning me when I was two years old. I'm grateful for the financial help, since Dad doesn't make a lot of money, but I still don't know if we'll have a real mother-daughter relationship one day.

I hand the manager our completed applications and my ID, and he checks a sheet of paper on his desk, then nods. "Two bedrooms furnished?"

"Yes."

I take a seat while he types in some information on his computer, then hands me my license back.

Once Edward has come inside, he hands the manager the photo ID his parents helped him get, then takes care of the application fee, administration fee and security deposit. Mom said she'd pay me back for anything due at signing.

The manager grabs two keys to our new apartment, asking us to follow him. He first shows us the computer lab, fitness center and theater room, all located in the same building as the office. I'm excited that Edward will be able to work out again — and not just because he'll continue to look damn good.

Heading out the back door, we walk past an absolutely gorgeous pool area and then a sand volleyball court. "You're on the second floor," he says, climbing the stairs of the next building on the left.

Inside, there's a dining room and kitchen to the left side of the doorway and a living room on the other. He shows us the private balcony off the living room, which faces the parking area and vast desert. I imagine Edward will be spending a lot of time out here.

Walking further into the apartment, the manager shows us the closet with a full-size, stacked washer and dryer. So awesome to have that in our apartment; I was afraid we'd have to go to a laundromat or something.

"The smaller of the two bedrooms is on the right, the larger one straight ahead," he says. "The bathroom in that one is larger also.

"Stop by the office any time if you have questions," he says with a smile, handing me two keys, our paperwork and some leaflets on the surrounding area. "You can park in any spot, except the covered ones. If you want one of those, there's an additional charge."

Once we've shown him out, I turn around, smiling as Edward cages me in against the front door. "I didn't like the way that guy was looking at you, like you're something to eat," he growls.

I feel my face flush at the implication. "It's kinda hot when you're possessive," I grin.

"I'm serious, Bella."

"He can look all he wants," I reply, winding my arms around his neck, "I only have eyes for you." I kiss him gently to prove my point.

"Look at all of these flat surfaces to christen," he whispers, hugging me close.

"What a great idea," I grin. "But first, we need to go shopping."

I walk around the apartment, opening closets and drawers, and making a list on my phone of the things we'll need to buy. There are comforters and blankets in the closets for winter, and Edward brought the pillows from his bed, but we'll need to get sheets and towels. It looks like the kitchen is pretty well stocked with most things we could need, so we can put that off for a while, at least.

Heading back out to the car, I program the navigation system for the Tucson Mall, which I'd already researched online. It's about a five-mile drive from our apartment.

If not for the malls I've been to in Phoenix, this would be by far the largest one I've ever seen. We stop first at a department store for several sets of towels and some sheets — high thread-count for Edward. Then we grab a quick dinner at the food court before driving back toward our new home.

After stopping at the nearest grocery store to stock up on food and other supplies, we come back to the apartment and carry inside all of our new purchases and the things we brought with us from Forks.

It takes a couple of hours of work, but finally everything is put away in its proper place and our bed is made. I'll make up the one in the spare bedroom later. I join Edward out on the balcony while he smokes, just glad for the chance to sit down for a few moments.

"Ugh," I moan, leaning my head against the back of the chair and closing my eyes, "We need to make a list of everything we have to do tomorrow."

"Can't it wait for a day?"

"Well, the license office isn't open on weekends, so…" I shrug. "And we need to get a cell phone for you, since there's no landline. In the afternoon, I need to stop by the school for some orientation stuff. And…" I hesitate.

"And what?"

"And you should maybe call the therapist that Dr. Jenks recommended?"

Edward sighs. "I know Jenks is sending this Dr. Banner the file with his notes, but… I'm not really looking forward to starting over with a new shrink. I know I need to do this though. I need to be better for you."

"And for yourself," I add sharply, opening my eyes to look at him.

"It's ultimately for myself," he replies quietly.

"What does that mean?"

"It means…" he trails off, running his hand through his hair. "It means that I want to be better for you because you deserve that, but also so that you don't leave me because of how fucked up I am."

"Edward—" He holds his hand up and I bite my tongue.

"I'm not trying to put this all on you. I don't want you to stay with me just because you think I'll fall apart if you leave."

I stand up, moving to sit on Edward's lap, and wind my arms around his neck. "I love you, Edward. You gave me plenty of warning, so I'm not going to leave you if you don't get better quickly enough. I have faith that with continued therapy, you _will_ get better. You already _are_ so much better. You need to keep working at it because _you_ want to lead a happy, productive life. Make the most of your life now that you've got it back, like you said yesterday."

He looks up at me from beneath his long eyelashes, his eyes sad, but his face so heartbreakingly beautiful. "For so long, I couldn't even let myself dream of a future."

"I can't even imagine what you went through," I reply, caressing his cheek. "Not knowing if your family would be able to clear your name before you ran out of appeals… before you were…" I can't even say the words out loud — before he was given a lethal injection.

"I wouldn't wish it on anyone," he whispers.

I lean in, kissing him softly, while I play with the long hairs at the nape of his neck. "One more thing for your to-do list," I grin, trying to lighten the mood. "You need to get a haircut."

"How short?"

"Not too short… I'd like it to be at least as long as…"

"As what?" he prompts.

"As the photo I saw of you… your, um… your old mug shot."

"Ok," he replies softly. "I don't really care, so… whatever you want." I smile at him, leaning my head against his shoulder, and he hugs me tightly.

"We're going to have a great life together, Edward. I know it."

* * *

In the morning, we arrive at the closest Motor Vehicle Department office, shortly after it opens.

"Vehicle registration or driver's license?" the woman behind the counter calls to us.

"Both?" I answer.

"I can help you with the registration; you'll have to go to the next line for the driver's license."

Edward explains that the car was purchased on August 8 in Washington and still has the temporary tags. Getting the new Arizona title and license plates all goes relatively smoothly.

We move to the next line, waiting for a few minutes behind an elderly couple — frankly it scares me that either one of them is driving. When it's our turn, I explain that I'm a full-time student at UA, and the clerk informs me that I don't actually need to get a new license until mine expires.

Now for Edward…

He hands her his expired license, which amazingly his parents had still held on to somewhere, and her eyes widen as she reads over it.

"This expired in 1999?"

"Yes," he answers quietly.

"What have you been driving with since then?"

"I haven't. Been driving, I mean," he adds.

"Did you stop driving for some sort of medical reason?" she asks, looking kind of perplexed. I frown, certain that Edward really doesn't want to tell her the real reason.

"No, ma'am," he says softly. "I was in prison."

Her eyes widen, and I almost see a look of… fear on her face. I want to shout at her that he was innocent, but I keep my mouth shut and let Edward handle this.

She clears her throat. "Given the amount of time that's passed, you'll need to take both the written test and road test, as well as the standard vision test. Since you're coming from another state, and haven't driven in so long," she adds nervously, "You may want to brush up on the rules of the road in Arizona. You can find the driving manual online on our website or I can get you a copy. The test will be 30 multiple-choice questions, which you'll take on one of our computer terminals."

"I'd like the booklet, please. When can I do the tests?" he asks.

"You can come back as soon as you're ready, without an appointment, but before 3:30pm for a road test. You'll also need to begin the application process online before you return. Do you have anything with a current photo?"

"Yes," he nods, "I got an ID card a few months ago." He pulls it out of his wallet, showing it to her.

"Ok, that'll work," she agrees, looking it over. "You'll also need to bring either a passport or a birth certificate and your social security number."

She hands him the driving manual, giving him what looks to me like a strained smile. "Anything else I can help you with?"

"I think we're good," I speak up. "We'll come back one day next week."

I take Edward's hand as we walk out of the office. "I can't believe her," I growl as soon as the door has closed behind us. "The way she was looking at you…"

"It doesn't matter, Bella," he says quietly.

"Yes, of course it does! I know you had to tell her the truth, but how could anyone look at you and think you could be guilty of _anything_?" I rant. "Especially something that would've landed you in prison for so long.

"Maybe you should've told her that you were exonerated."

"Bella," he warns, placing his hand lightly on my arm, "Just let it go. People are going to think the worst when they find out I was in prison — that's just a fact. Telling the whole truth…" He shakes his head. "I don't need perfect strangers knowing my business and feeling sorry for me. I'll never see her again — and it's not like she was rude to me — so it doesn't matter what she thinks."

I exhale heavily, looking him in the eye. Nothing in his expression tells me that he doesn't mean every word he's saying. "Ok," I sigh. "I hate it though, people looking at you the way she did."

He gives me a small smile. "I've gotten used to that look from guards over the last 18 years."

"You shouldn't have had to," I growl.

"I love you, my fierce girl," he chuckles.

* * *

After dropping Edward off at the apartment, I drive to the UA campus for orientation. I already went to a full-day off-campus orientation in Seattle last April — before Edward was released from prison — but I need to learn my way around campus before classes start on Monday.

When I get home, I call out to Edward, getting no response. Figuring he's probably out on the balcony, I open the door, finding him seated in one of the two lounge chairs.

"Hey," I greet him softly.

He smiles at me, and since he's not currently smoking — though his lighter and pack of cigarettes are on the small table between the chairs — I sit down in his lap, greeting him with a kiss.

"Did you have a good afternoon?" he asks.

"Yeah, I don't think I'll get lost finding my classes on Monday," I smile, wrapping my arms around him. "What did you do this afternoon?"

"I went to the fitness center; I've gotten out of shape in the last four months," he laughs.

"You don't look out of shape to me." He smirks at me.

"I also called Dr. Banner's office," he says. "I made an appointment for Friday after your classes, just in case I don't have a license by then and need you to drive me. And I looked through the information the apartment manager left us to find someplace to get my hair cut for you. I booked an appointment for 10am tomorrow."

"It's not _just_ for me," I scowl. "You know it's getting kind of unruly, even if sex hair is a hot look on you."

"Sex hair, huh?" he repeats, raising an eyebrow.

"Later," I promise with a wink. "Why are you sitting out here all by yourself? You could go down by the pool; there are plenty of lounge chairs down there."

"I'm used to being by myself," he says quietly.

"But you don't need to be anymore."

"I know. For years, I spent most of my time alone in a six-by-nine cell. I don't want to be inside anymore, but… I don't know how to deal with being around a lot of people. It's so much better when you're with me," he adds.

"I can't even imagine what it was like being locked up."

"You don't want to, Bella," he replies, leaning his head against the back of the chair and looking up at me. "I'm trying to move forward, but I wish… I wish I could just forget the last 19 years ever happened."

"You know it doesn't work like that."

"I know," he sighs.

"If you hang out by the pool, maybe you could make a friend," I suggest. I hate the idea of Edward being all alone while I'm at school, even if he does have plenty to keep himself busy. He just raises an eyebrow in response. "Did you… did you have any friends in prison?" I ask curiously.

He shakes his head. "I haven't had a friend in so long, I wouldn't know how to act with one."

"You figured out how to act with a girlfriend," I point out.

"That's because she's amazingly tolerant," he grins. "Please let me just do things in my own time, ok?"

I exhale heavily, then nod. "I don't mean to push you. I just want to see you happy."

"I am happy," he says softly. "I feel like I'm finally free."

* * *

**A/N:** Welcome to Tucson! Bella and Edward's apartment complex is based on a real place, though I changed a few things. I tried to Google what comes with a furnished apartment, but it seems like it varies a lot.

Poor Edward can't completely outrun his past. Bella tried hard to hold herself back and let him handle things at the MVD office, even if her first instinct is to protect him.

Fun question: Do you have a favorite hairstyle or length on Rob that you'd like to see Edward get?

Next update on **Tuesday**. Happy early Fourth of July to all the Americans! Happy belated Canada Day to the Canadians!

* * *

Please note that on Thursday, FF wasn't posting new reviews. When I'd click on the reply URL in the emails, it would come up as Invalid Message. I could work around this, but it's more time consuming. All seems OK as of posting time on Friday morning, but if the issues start up again, review replies may be delayed.


	20. The Pool

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! Hmmm… several of you are worried that last chapter was sort of the calm before the storm.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 20 — The Pool_

When we arrive at the bustling hair salon on Saturday morning, we give Edward's name and are greeted by the very enthusiastic, very good-looking, very stylish — and very gay — man who introduces himself as Fernando.

"Oh my," he exclaims. "Yes, you're long overdue for a trim. You can come right on back and I'll shampoo your hair first."

As they head to the back of the salon, I sit in one of the chairs in the waiting area, pulling out my phone. We've been so busy getting settled that I haven't really had a chance to check in with Angela.

I look up when I hear footsteps on the tile floor, my eyes widening at the look on Edward's face. He appears to be barely holding himself together.

He takes a seat in Fernando's chair and I quickly get up and walk over to them, taking Edward's hand in mine and squeezing it. He hadn't mentioned any reservations, so the idea that he'd be bothered by having his hair washed and cut by a stranger never occurred to me.

"So what are we going to do today?" Fernando asks in his sexy accent — Mexican, probably, given his caramel-colored skin.

"Something easy to style," Edward suggests quietly.

"Not too short though," I tell him, "And maybe longer on top? Long enough that I can, you know… grab it," I add, feeling my face heat up.

Fernando laughs, winking at me. "Don't worry, I'll make your man even more beautiful."

"Can I sit here?" I ask, gesturing to the empty chair next to Edward.

"Yes, of course." I take my seat, still holding on to Edward's hand.

"Such beautiful thick hair you have," Fernando gushes as he lops an inch or two off the back. "And I love the color."

'Are you ok?' I mouth to Edward, who gives me a tight nod as he stares at their reflection in the mirror. As long as he can watch, at least Fernando can't surprise him with a touch.

The stylist blow dries Edward's hair, then makes a few more cuts in the back, and some very strategic cuts throughout, some with a razor. He's so very precise in what he's doing, like an artist.

Setting his utensils down, he reaches into a cabinet beneath the mirror, pulling out a can of some type of hair product. He dispenses a small amount into his hand, showing us how much to use, then rubs his hands together and begins spreading the product through Edward's hair.

When Fernando steps back, looking very pleased with himself, I stare at my boyfriend. My God, he wasn't kidding about making Edward even more beautiful. I could jump him right now.

"We sell this here," Fernando says, showing me the can. "I highly recommend it. What do you think?"

"It looks… amazing, better than I ever imagined," I breathe. "Edward, what do you think?"

"It's just hair to me. I want you to be happy."

"Oh, I definitely am," I grin.

Fernando removes the cape from around Edward's neck and he stands up. Keeping hold of his hand, I walk with him to the cash register in the front of the shop.

"I'm gonna smoke," he whispers in my ear, handing me his credit card and slipping out the front door.

Fernando gets a can of the hair product off of a shelf, and I hand him the card.

"I made your boyfriend a little uncomfortable, huh?"

"He-he just went outside to smoke."

"That may be true, but he was also very uncomfortable being touched by a gay man."

I bite my lip, wondering how to respond to that. "It's nothing personal," I stress. "He… he doesn't like being touched by anyone. I think… that may be part of why he put off getting a haircut for so long." Edward told me he didn't think anyone in Forks would do it, but he could've easily had his mom take him to Port Angeles.

Fernando smiles softly at me. "It was a pleasure working on such a beautiful head of hair. I hope you two will come back here. About every three to four weeks should keep him looking like a movie star."

"Thank you," I reply, tucking the credit card into the side of my purse.

Outside, I find Edward about two doors down, sitting on a bench in the shade while he smokes.

"I'm sorry," I apologize softly.

"What for?" he asks, blowing out a cloud of smoke.

"When I suggested you should get your hair cut, it had never occurred to me that you might be bothered by a stran-stranger touching you." I was about to say "a strange man" but I'm afraid that if I venture too close to _that_ territory, he'll shut down on me.

"I got used to the prison barber; it was all very clinical." He shakes his head, tossing his cigarette to the ground and stubbing it out with his shoe. "I need to deal with things like that if I'm going to be normal."

"Normal is overrated," I reply with a wink.

He rolls his eyes, standing up and smirking at me. "Let's go home, Bella."

* * *

When we get home, I head to the kitchen to start making us some chicken salad for lunch with last night's leftovers, while Edward disappears… somewhere. I hope he's ok. He'd been doing so well since the incident at the hotel in Oregon; it must be heartbreaking for him to see how much he still needs to work through.

I'm chopping up the chicken when I hear his footsteps on the floor behind me. "Bella?" he calls softly.

I wipe my hands then turn around to face him. He takes a step closer then wraps his arms around me, leaning down to capture my lips. I eagerly kiss him back, as always.

Edward's hands drift down my lower back, until he grasps my ass, lifting me to sit on the counter next to where I've been working. I twine my arms around his neck, more than happy for the distraction.

But the fact that he's not just distracting me becomes clear when he steps away for a moment and pulls my t-shirt over my head. My bra is the next to go, his lips closing around my nipples, and then he unbuttons my shorts, pushing his hand inside.

"I know what you're doing," I state while he kisses my neck. This is feeling more and more like one of his attempts to get out of the past.

He stops, staring at me for a moment. "Are you going to let me?" he asks quietly.

He looks so vulnerable that I could never in a million years deny him, unhealthy or not, and so I nod my acceptance.

"Here or on the table?"

My face heats up as I stare back at him, open-mouthed. To be honest, they both sound kind of intriguing. "Both?"

Grinning, he helps me out of my shorts and panties as I lift my hips. And then his fingers are back between my legs, teasing and stroking.

"Need to be inside you," he groans.

"I'm not stopping you," I reply breathily.

Groaning again, he tugs his jeans down — we're gonna need to buy Edward some shorts — lifts my left foot up onto the counter, and buries himself inside me. I do my best to hold on while he fucks me — one hand on his shoulder and one bracing myself on the counter.

It feels a little bit… forbidden to be doing this in the kitchen. But hot. Definitely hot. Edward's tongue tangles with mine as he moves his hips, bringing me closer and closer to the edge.

I try not to whine when he stops suddenly, pulling out and lifting me up. Carrying me to the table, he sets me down, encouraging me to lie back. And then he's inside me again, thrusting faster and faster while his large hands practically wrap all the way around my waist.

"I love the way your tits bounce," he growls and I giggle. They'd bounce a lot more if they were larger, but I'm glad Edward is happy with their size.

My giggles turn into moans, and then my orgasm rushes through me.

"Fuck, Bella…" Edward groans. He pulls out, his hand moving quickly over his cock until he's coming all over my stomach. He stands there for a moment, catching his breath. "Didn't want to make a mess on the table," he laughs. "Be right back."

Once he's fetched a rag, he cleans me up, then helps me to sit up and kisses me softly. "I love you."

"Love you too. You're gonna bleach the counter and table now."

* * *

Once we've finally finished our delayed lunch, Edward and I change into our bathing suits. Angela helped me pick out a new midnight blue bikini when we were in Port Angeles, along with three pairs of shorts, and Edward's mom bought him some board shorts the last time she went to Port Angeles.

"_That_ is your bathing suit?" he asks in shock, looking me up and down.

"What's wrong with it?" I ask, glancing down. I mean, my boobs still look small, but it doesn't make me look fat or anything.

"You are so fucking sexy that every young guy at the pool is going to be trying to steal you away from me."

"Oh please," I roll my eyes. "Even if they did try — which they won't — that would never happen."

Once we're both covered in sunscreen, we grab a couple of large towels and head down to the huge resort-style pool. None of the lounge chairs are free on a Saturday afternoon, so I set our stuff down along the fence and sit on the edge of the pool, dangling my legs in the warm water.

Edward wastes no time walking down the steps into the water and swimming over to me. Standing up, he grins as he kisses me — marking me as his, no doubt — then moves over to the deeper part, swimming a couple of laps. I remember seeing a pool in the Cullens' old backyard, so he must have spent some time out there.

I can't help noticing other female heads turning to watch Edward. While he's clearly older than college age, he looks a lot younger than 37 — to my eyes at least. He's put on a few pounds since the first time I saw him naked, but it's only made him sexier. Maybe I _don't_ want him to hang out here without me.

"The water's amazing," he calls, coming back over to me. "What are you waiting for?"

"I like watching you." He wraps his arms around me, kissing me again. "I have the hottest guy at the pool."

"Even though I'm an old man?"

"You didn't seem like an old man earlier when you were making me see stars."

Grinning, Edward encourages me to wrap my legs around his waist. He pulls me off the edge of the pool, then brings me toward deeper water, letting me float with him.

We trade soft kisses as we float together, in our own little bubble though there must be over two dozen people in the pool with us.

"I'm gonna get too heavy," I protest when Edward refuses to let me down.

"Nah… the water is holding you up. You weigh nothing anyway."

I adjust my position, leaning in to kiss him again.

"Mmm…" he moans, "You need to stop moving or we might have a little situation here."

"Little, huh?"

"You know what I mean," he chuckles.

I smile widely back at him; I love seeing Edward so carefree. It's like a tiny glimpse of the guy he must've been before everything happened to him.

Eventually one of the lounge chairs opens up, so we get out of the pool, curling up together on it, my head on Edward's chest.

Watching the other people scattered around the deck and pool, I spot the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. She must be several inches taller than me, with the tanned body of a bikini model and long, wavy blonde hair. She's like a Barbie doll come to life. When I glance up at Edward, he's only looking at me as he plays with the ends of my hair, not paying any attention to her. I settle back in against him, kissing his chest.

Barbie is soon joined by this huge bear of a guy, with short, dark curly hair. They get into the pool and she climbs onto his shoulders. Someone has pulled a net across one end of the pool, and three other couples join them, the women playing a game that resembles volleyball from their men's shoulders.

They shake hands when the game seems to be over, then the couple playing with Barbie and the Bear gets out of the pool.

"Hey," Bear yells in our direction. "We need two more players for another game — you guys wanna join?"

I turn to Edward to see what he wants to do, but he's just staring over at them.

"Come on!" the guy yells again. "It'll be fun."

"Do you want to?" Edward asks quietly.

"It might be fun," I shrug. "Do you think you'll be ok with me sitting on your shoulders like that?"

"I… yeah, I mean… I'll know it's you touching me."

Once I've got his agreement, we get up off the lounger and Edward steps down into the pool. I sit on the edge and he bends down so that I can climb onto his shoulders. He wraps his hands around my calves, then walks us over toward the game.

"Hey," Bear greets us with a huge, friendly smile. "I'm Emmett, and this is my wife, Rose," he introduces, pointing up toward the bikini model.

"I'm Bella and this is Edward." I reach down to brush my hands over his, which are still holding on to my legs.

"Nice to meet you," Emmett smiles.

We get into position and Rose sends the ball flying over the net, showing me how it's done. We play back and forth until our side manages to win 21-17.

"Good game," Emmett shouts, reaching his hand out to shake. Edward seems a little tentative, but he shakes it, then bends down so I can slide off his back.

"So you guys are new around here, huh?" Emmett asks as we all climb out of the water. "I haven't seen you before."

"We just got here Thursday night," I confirm, picking up my towel to dry myself off.

"From somewhere up north, I'd guess, based on how pale you two are," he chuckles.

"Yeah, from a small town in Washington state."

"Are you a student at UA?" Rose asks.

"Yes, I'll be a freshman in the College of Architecture, Planning &amp; Landscape."

"Oh, what are you majoring in?"

"Sustainable Built Environments, with an emphasis on Sustainable Communities."

"Nice," she whistles. "That's a fairly small program, but very well respected. I'm getting a double M.A./J.D in Gender &amp; Women's Studies and the College of Law. I'm in my fourth and final year of the Master's program."

"Say, since you guys are new to the area, would you like to grab dinner with us?" Emmett asks. "We can show you the best Mexican food in Tucson."

Again, I look to Edward, who's been totally silent since we got out of the pool. He finally nods his acceptance, though I can tell he's a bit leery.

"Great," Emmett grins. "Which building are you guys in?"

"Three," I answer.

"Meet you out in front of it in half an hour?"

"That sounds great," I smile back.

We walk together toward our building; Emmett and Rose are further down, so they wave to us and keep going.

"Thank you for agreeing," I tell Edward quietly.

"I could tell you wanted to make some new friends," he shrugs.

"They seem nice. Rose is the most stunning woman I've ever seen." I half expected her to be kind of standoffish, but she wasn't at all.

"Really? I hadn't noticed," he grins, opening the door to our apartment.

"You lie; she looked like your ex-girlfriends."

"Maybe," he allows, "But I only have eyes for you." He stole my line, but I'll never complain.

* * *

**A/N:** Kudos to reader **romance4me2** who was the only one to wonder how Edward would deal with getting his hair cut. He survived, but he needed Bella afterward. Hope you liked Fernando!

At last, we've met more of the Twilight gang! How do you think dinner with Emmett and Rose is going to go?

My idea for Edward's haircut: s-media-cache-ak0 dot pinimg dot com /236x/e6/5b/30/e65b3018a76ba57913fe0f5a6e4a038b dot jpg

Next update on **Friday**.


	21. The Friends

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! Everyone is excited to meet Emmett and Rose. I agree that Bella and Edward need to have a social life outside of each other.

And you all like Fernando! In my head, Edward called and got scheduled into an open slot at the salon. He clearly would've preferred a female stylist, but he didn't specify.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 21 — The Friends_

Thirty minutes later, we're dressed and ready to go out to dinner. I'm wearing my one skirt, but have given up on my hair, pulling it into a ponytail then tucking it up into a messy bun. Edward still looks like a movie star. Of course.

Downstairs, we wait for less than a minute before Emmett and Rose pull up in a huge dark green pick-up. Edward walks around to the passenger side, and we both climb into the backseat.

"So you look like you work out, Edward," Emmett says, turning to face him as we wait at a stoplight. "Have you been down to the fitness center yet?"

"Yeah," he answers quietly, "Yesterday afternoon."

"Awesome, we should work out together sometime. Did you play any sports in school?"

"I played basketball and ran track in high school. Now I jog a bit."

"Cool," Emmett whistles. "I was a defensive end in football back in high school, but I was never good enough to get a scholarship to play in college." Emmett is a huge guy, so I'm not surprised to hear that he played football.

The Mexican restaurant is just on the other side of the interstate. The hostess leads us to a booth without us asking, and I breathe a small sigh of relief.

"They have the best margaritas here," Emmett says, and when our server stops by, I'm the only one to order a Diet Coke. I need to get a fake ID or something.

"Are you a student also, Emmett?" I ask.

"Naw… I own my own business. We do landscaping and other yard work. We take care of the grounds at the apartments."

"So what's good here?" I ask, looking over the menu.

"I always get the Senor Burrito — it's huge."

"The enchiladas are really good," Rose suggests. "And not quite as huge."

After we've placed our orders, Rose folds her hands together on the table, her eyes darting between Edward and me. "So there's quite an age difference between the two of you."

"Yes," I answer through gritted teeth. Just because it's obvious doesn't mean I like anyone to point it out.

"I don't mean it to be rude," she explains hurriedly. "I mean, I have no issue with age differences. I'm 25 and Em is 30 — though more like 16 in maturity level sometimes."

"Hey!"

"Age is just a number," I reply firmly, glancing over at where Edward appears to be staring at his lap. Hoping he can see me, I gently rest my hand on his thigh, rubbing my thumb back and forth.

"How did the two of you meet?" she asks.

I peek over at Edward again, and he looks a bit like a deer in headlights. Shit, we really hadn't talked about how we'd answer questions like this. I decide to tell the truth as much as I can, so we don't have to keep stories straight.

"He lived next door."

"Really?" Emmett asks. "Like, watched you grow up?"

"No, no, nothing like that," I reply quickly. "I should clarify that Edward's _parents_ have lived next door to my dad and me for years. Edward only moved back in with them in April." I'm startled when he entwines his fingers with my hand on his lap.

"I'll bet your dad was thrilled," Rose says wryly.

"Uh, yeah… Well, he'll get over it."

Rose chuckles, nodding.

"What do you do for a living, Edward?" Emmett asks, sipping his margarita. I'm glad that Emmett addressed him directly, because he doesn't seem to be comfortable speaking up on his own.

"Umm… nothing yet, we just got here."

"So you followed Bella to Tucson without having a job lined up? You must really love her."

"I do," Edward responds, and I squeeze his hand.

"What did you do back in Washington?"

"Oh… a little of this, a little of that."

"I get it, man," Emmett laughs. "I was like that myself for _years_ before I finally took a job with a landscaper back in upstate New York, where we're from. When Rosie came here for school three years ago, I decided to start my own business."

"What's your degree in?" Rose asks.

"I-I don't have one," he replies with a frown.

"I don't either," Emmett speaks up. "I took a few classes at the local community college, but it wasn't for me. Rose is the brilliant one of the two of us; I'm just the muscle."

Our server drops off our dinners, and my eyes widen at the three enchiladas on my plate. One is covered in a white salsa, one in red and one in green — the colors of the Mexican flag.

My meal is delicious and as we sit and chat about topics that are less of a minefield than Edward's past, I can't help smiling at the fact that we've made our first friends in Tucson.

* * *

We spend Sunday morning getting Edward some driving practice in a nearby office park and then out in the desert to the west of the apartments. The first part of the test is parallel parking, so he practices that as well, though not where any other cars are parked nearby.

Edward's parents have selected several potential homes from a list their realtor sent them, so we spend the afternoon visiting the ones that are having open houses today, taking photos and notes for them. The nicest home we visit is in the Catalina Foothills in the northern part of the city, and it's not all that far from the Tucson Medical Center.

Monday brings my first day of classes. I've got mostly morning classes, though at 2pm on Tuesdays, I have a one-credit introductory course for my major. I'm really looking forward to that one, and to my first chance to meet the other students who will be in my program.

Instead of driving — and then trying to find a place to park — I take the free shuttle from the apartments to campus for my 8am class. When my fourth class of the day ends shortly before noon, I take the next shuttle back home.

I hear the water running when I step inside our apartment, so I make my way to our bedroom. After a minute, the shower turns off.

"Edward?" I call, not wanting him to be startled to find me in here. He comes into the room a minute later, a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Hey," he smiles. "Thought I'd take a shower after my workout and run." He opens the dresser drawer, pulling out a pair of boxers. When he drops his towel, my mouth drops open.

"What did you do?!" I shriek, and he looks down, frowning.

"Uh… isn't this what guys do nowadays? I-I heard some guys talking in the fitness center."

I just continue to stare. He manscaped. Edward _manscaped_, neatly trimming his hair until… "Holy shit, it looks twice as big!"

He bursts out laughing. "So yes or no?" he asks when he finally calms down.

"Yes. Definitely yes," I nod with a smile. I walk over to him, getting down on my knees and reaching for his cock.

"Whoa there!" He grabs my wrist to stop me, and I look up at him, confused. I thought he was ok with me giving him a blowjob now.

"I'd totally let you have your way with me right now, but I can't, so… let me show you my appreciation," I grin.

"Not… like that. Look," he begins, running his hand through his hair, "It's time for lunch and I'm starving. Maybe… maybe later."

I narrow my eyes, but I agree, standing up. I quickly change out of the jeans I wore to class into a pair of shorts.

Edward suggests that we try the sandwich shop down the street that Emmett raved about. After lunch, we drive south on I-10 toward the airport. I exit the highway, pulling into a gas station, and let Edward switch places with me. I know this is illegal, since he has no driver's permit, but he needs to practice on an interstate in case it's part of the road test.

Edward ends up driving down I-19 for about an hour, almost to the Mexican border, before turning east and looping back around to pick up I-10. I'm a bit nervous with him driving through the center of town without his license, but he's the one behind the wheel, and he's certain that he's fine.

Once we've made it back home, I quiz Edward on the online practice tests for the multiple choice test, and he answers everything correctly. With any luck, he should be a licensed driver by Wednesday afternoon.

* * *

On Tuesday I eat lunch on campus, working on some homework before heading to my 2pm class. As soon as I step into the classroom, I'm waved over by a woman with her dark hair styled into an edgy, spiky cut.

"Hi!" she shouts, waving her hand madly. "I was beginning to think there were no other females in this class. I'm Alice."

She holds her hand out and I shake it with a smile. "I'm Bella."

"This is Alec," she introduces, pointing to a guy with light brown hair and hipster glasses. "And this is Riley." I try not to react too much to Riley's looks — a deep magenta streak in his dark brown, well-styled hair and extremely stylish clothes.

"What's your concentration?" Alice asks.

"Sustainable Communities. You?"

"Heritage Conservation. Riley's is the same as yours. Alec's is Sustainable Landscapes."

Over the next few minutes, several other students, including three other females, walk in, each greeted exuberantly by Alice, before our professor arrives and we get down to business.

"So let me see your schedule," Alice says once the professor has dismissed us. I bring it up on my phone, showing it to her.

"Oh! We have English 101 together before this class. I didn't see you in there."

"I didn't see you either," I giggle.

"Maybe we can get lunch together after our English classes," she suggests.

"Sounds good," I nod. English is my last class on Thursdays, but it goes until 12:15, so I've already told Edward not to wait for me to eat lunch with him.

"Do you live in the dorms?" she asks as we stand up, heading for the door.

"No, I live in an apartment off campus, about five miles to the northwest."

"Oh! I've heard those apartments are super nice. Jasper and I wanted to live closer to campus, so we got an apartment nearby. It's got a small pool, but pretty much no other amenities. And it's _tiny_."

"Jasper?"

"My boyfriend," she smiles. "He's a sophomore with a double major in Education and American History. We're from Scottsdale, what about you?"

"I'm from a small town in Washington. My mom lives in Phoenix though."

"Well, I've got one more class," Alice says as we step outside. "I'll see you on Thursday! I'm so glad to meet you; I can just tell you and I are going to be great friends."

* * *

After my classes on Wednesday, I come home, heating up leftover lasagna for us to eat for lunch, then take Edward back to the Motor Vehicle Department.

He easily passes the written test and vision test; I admit to being a bit worried about that one, assuming that no one had checked his eyes while he was in prison. His eyesight may have deteriorated without him even being aware of it — doesn't that happen as you get older?

After about a 15-minute wait, the instructor comes back from another road test, ready to take Edward out. I give him a kiss for good luck, then send him on his way.

When they come back, Edward has a huge grin on his face. "I passed!" he yells. I get up, rushing to him and throwing my arms around him. He picks me up off the floor, spinning me around.

"I'm so proud of you." I give him a slightly not-for-polite-company kiss.

"Thanks, baby," he says shyly, setting me back on my feet.

After he's paid the fees, he gets his photo taken, then is handed a piece of paper with his temporary license. It figures that he even looks like a male model in his driver's license photo.

"We'll mail your new license to you within 15 days," the clerk — yes, the same one that pissed me off last Friday — states.

I let Edward drive home, figuring that I'm going to have to pretty much give up driving from now on. I mean, it _is_ his car, even if he says it's ours. And my mom always complains that Phil likes to drive whenever they're out together — she says that's a guy thing.

When we get home, I'm dying to reward Edward for a job well done. Despite his promise of "later" on Monday, he hasn't let me near his newly manscaped groin area. I really did think we'd crossed the hurdle of him being uncomfortable with blowjobs, but apparently not.

While he goes out on the balcony to smoke, I plot how I'm going to approach this.

From the comments I used to hear at school, most girls consider giving blowjobs to be a necessary evil. I fully realize the ridiculousness of my wanting to do this for Edward, while he _doesn't_ want me to.

I mean, I didn't exactly love doing it; at least, I wish I could've gotten him off a bit faster, before my jaw got tired. I think that was partly my own lack of experience, and partly Edward's inability to just relax and enjoy. We can _both_ improve.

"What are you thinking about so hard over there?" he asks, sliding the glass door closed. I can feel my face flaming, even more so when he narrows his eyes. "That bad, huh?"

"I was wondering if it was later."

Edward looks confused for a moment, before I can almost see the lightbulb go off. He comes to sit beside me on the couch, looking at me closely.

"Why are you pushing this?" he asks quietly.

"Because I'm so proud of you! I want to reward you."

He sighs, holding out his hand. I take it, letting him pull me onto his lap, straddling him. His hands are on my hips, while I wind my arms around his neck.

"This is a reward," he says, kissing me softly. "These," he squeezes my breasts gently, "Are a reward."

I look at him quizzically. "But you like sex."

"I do; I'm still a man, after all."

"From what I hear, men like blowjobs. Did you like them… as a teenager?" I ask tentatively. I know I'm treading very close to dangerous ground here.

"I did," he sighs. "Though I doubt you want to hear about that."

"Did… did Jane ever…?" He shakes his head. "I think… I think you shouldn't deny yourself something you once enjoyed."

"I don't _want_ to be fucked up, Bella."

"I know, I know. It went ok the last time though, right?"

"I'm too paranoid about what you're going to do."

"I'll do only what you've shown me," I vow. I wish he'd tell me exactly what it is that he's so afraid I'll do; it'd be so much easier to avoid.

"Not this time," he says softly. "Let me talk to my new shrink and maybe… maybe later."

"But—"

"I said no, Bella," he says firmly. "You can… you can use your hand if you want."

"Yeah?"

He nods, pulling me closer. I try to show him with my kisses just how proud of him I am. Moving back and forth over his lap, I can feel him getting hard beneath me.

We'll totally make a mess if I don't get some of his clothes off. I reach for the bottom of his shirt, and as I expected, he grasps the back of the neck, taking it off himself. He slides me back a few inches, opening his jeans and pulling his cock out of the hole.

I lick my hand, then wrap my fingers around his cock. He leans forward to kiss me, his tongue coming out to play, while I slide my hand up and down his hard cock.

Groaning, he stops me long enough to lift my shirt over my head, then yanks my bra cup down, attaching his lips to my nipple. I run the fingers of my free hand through his soft hair, loving the feel of his mouth on me.

"Close," he whispers, coming back to my mouth. "Squeeze a little harder… fuck!"

I do as he says, even if it feels like I'm being too rough. Suddenly he throws his head back, and I know he's almost there, so I try to aim toward his stomach. I'm so shocked when he comes that I momentarily forget to keep my hand moving.

Edward groans loudly, squeezing his eyes closed and breathing heavily. When he opens them again, I see nothing but pleasure there.

I smile at him, biting my lip. "Was that ok?"

"Perfect."

* * *

**A/N:** So dinner with Emmett and Rose went well, just a little bit of dodging some questions. And we finally meet Alice! Bella has a friend of her own now.

We have a bit of a Twilight/Eclipse analogy here, with Bella trying to talk her boyfriend into letting her give him a blowjob. How many girls have to do _that_? Edward did a good job of sticking firmly to his guns, offering her a compromise of a hand job.

Next update on **Tuesday**.


	22. The Party

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! One more Favorite to tie Inside Out, and we've already long passed Oh Brother, which has been complete since 2012.

Everyone is proud of Edward for getting his driver's license… and manscaping. There's some anger at Bella for pushing Edward into accepting a blowjob. She means well, of course. Just remember that there's no manual for how to deal with someone with Edward's issues.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 22 — The Party_

During our third week of school, Alice and I are having lunch together in the school cafeteria, after our shared English class.

"So when are you going to invite me over?" she asks with a grin.

"Why?" I chuckle.

"Because I'm dying to see your apartment. Jasper and I might move out there when our lease is up."

"I… not this weekend," I hedge. The thought of Alice and Edward together in one place kind of scares me.

"Why not?"

"I might have plans."

"Might?" she asks.

"Yeah… Sunday is my birthday, so—"

"Your birthday!" she shouts. "Why didn't you say something? Are you going to be 19? Or only 18?"

"Nineteen," I confirm. "And I just don't think birthdays are a big deal. But Edward and I might do something, I don't know."

"Edward?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

"My boyfriend," I reply proudly. Even saying the words sends tingles throughout my body. I'm so ridiculously in love with him. Even if he won't let me drive anymore.

"I didn't know you have a boyfriend! Does he go to UA?"

"Um, no." I squirm a little. I _hate_ answering questions about my relationship — which is why I hadn't mentioned Edward to her before.

"How long have you been together?"

"About three and a half months."

Alice's brow furrows. "So… he came here from Washington with you?"

"Yeah," I confirm. "He-he lives me with me." I expect Alice to give me shit about moving in with Edward after only three months, since she and Jasper have been dating practically since they were in diapers apparently. They're only a month or so apart in age, but Alice's birthday was too late in the year to start school when Jasper did.

"So if your birthday is on Sunday, you and Edward can do something then, just the two of you. And we can throw you a party on Saturday," she suggests with a huge grin.

"Alice, I'm really not one for parties. I don't think I've had a birthday party since I was eight."

"Come on, it'll be fun!" she smiles. "We'll make it a pool party and everyone can bring something to eat, like a potluck. We'll invite our whole class."

"In case you've forgotten, we don't have class on Thursday afternoons. How are you going to reach everyone?"

"In case _you_ have forgotten, Professor Goff gave us a list of everyone's emails," she retorts.

Sighing, I sit back in my chair, looking at Alice. To be honest, I don't mind the idea of getting together with everyone in our class — even with the excuse of it being for my birthday. We're such a small group and there's some sense of solidarity in that.

But… what about Edward? Alice is so animated, talking with her hands, that I'm afraid she'll accidentally touch him. I suppose he doesn't have to come to the party, and maybe he wouldn't even _want_ to come. But if he does want to be there with me, how do I keep him… safe?

"What are you thinking, Bella?" Alice asks.

"I… please don't take this the wrong way," I beg. "It's just… my boyfriend is kind of… quiet and shy. And you're not."

"Not news to me, Bella," she grins.

"I'm just… afraid that you might be a bit much for him. He likes his personal space." There, that sounds like a fairly normal issue, right?

"Bella," she says gently, "I can tone it down if I need to. Promise."

"Well… let me talk to Edward this afternoon, ok?"

"Text me what he says. I'll email you what I plan to send out, and once I've got your blessing, I'll send the email to everyone. I can't wait for you to meet Jasper," she smiles. "And I can't wait to meet this mysterious boyfriend you never told me about."

* * *

I'm surprised when Edward immediately tells me to go ahead and confirm the party with Alice, and even more so when he says he'll come to the party _and_ work the grill. He explains later that he doesn't want to hold me back from having normal college experiences; still, he promises he'll be ok with hanging around with a bunch of younger students. Well, Riley is apparently 27, but the rest are "traditional" students.

I'm watching Edward form hamburger patties on the day of the party when the doorbell rings. I move to answer it, and am practically bowled over by an exuberant Alice.

"Happy birthday a day early!" she squeals, hugging me tightly. She steps into our apartment, followed by a tall slim guy with wavy blond hair falling nearly to his shoulders.

"This is Jasper," she introduces him. "We've brought our cooler if you want to use it. I made chicken kabobs for grilling, too."

I lead Alice and Jasper into the kitchen, motioning for him to set the cooler on the table. "Edward," I call and he turns around from where he's working at the counter. "This is Alice and her boyfriend, Jasper."

"Nice to meet you," he says quietly, probably glad that his dirty hands mean he doesn't have to shake hands with them.

"He's almost done making the hamburgers. I'm trusting him that he knows how to work a grill," I giggle.

"I heard that." I giggle again, loving playful Edward.

While he's finishing up, I get a couple of bottles of beer out of the fridge for him, adding them to the cooler. Alice designated a task or dish to each of our fellow students, with the ones who live in the dorms in charge of buying non-alcoholic drinks, disposable plates and silverware. Those with access to a kitchen are supposed to bring a homemade side dish.

I give Alice and Jasper a tour of our apartment — not that that takes long — and Edward is ready to go by the time we get back.

"This is amazing," Alice gushes as we set our things down by the pool. It's still about 15 minutes until the start time stated in her invitations.

"I do really like the pool. It's kind of quiet in the afternoon with so many people still on campus."

Alice pulls her loose shirt over her head, revealing a tiny string bikini top — and a belly button piercing — then takes a seat on one of the lounge chairs. "This is the life," she sighs, leaning back.

"Do you need any help?" Jasper asks Edward.

"I'm good," he nods, and Jasper moves to sit by Alice.

The first guests to show up are Leah, who's from the Gila River Indian Reservation just south of Phoenix, and Alec, a Tucson native who's brought his mom's famous potato salad.

Edward gets started cooking burgers and some of Allice's kabobs on the grill when the next batch arrives.

"Oh my God!" I exclaim when Riley shows up on the arm of his boyfriend, who looks awfully familiar. Edward turns around and his eyes widen as Riley and Fernando come closer.

"Hey, Bella," Riley greets me with an air kiss. "This is my boyfriend, Fernando."

"We've met," I smile, holding my hand out to shake his. Riley looks confused until I explain that _his_ boyfriend cut _my_ boyfriend's hair.

"Edward," Fernando calls, moving closer to him. "I haven't seen your name on my schedule for a trim." He raises an eyebrow and I try hard not to laugh.

"I… it looks fine, doesn't it?"

"Mmm… for another week, maybe." He pulls out his phone, his thumb moving swiftly across the screen. "I can fit you in next Saturday, 10am again?"

Edward sighs, tearing his hand through his hair. "I-I guess."

"Good, I'll mark you on my calendar," he smiles — either oblivious to how uncomfortable Edward is, or ignoring it, I'm not sure which.

An hour later, everyone has had enough to eat and the guests are starting to enjoy the pool. I'm wearing my bikini underneath my clothes, so I strip out of them then go sit on the edge of the pool drinking a bottle of water and watching Riley and Fernando trying to dunk each other.

When Edward heads back to the apartment to get changed, Alice plants herself next to me.

"Soooooo…"

"Thanks for organizing all of this, Alice," I smile. "I really appreciate it."

"No problem, but I'd rather talk about this boyfriend of yours. He is freakin' hot, good god." She fans herself, making her point, and I'm hit with a wave of possessiveness, or maybe jealousy. Edward is _mine_. "But how old is he? He's gotta be at least 10 years older than you."

"I — he — Edward is 37," I confess, conscious that the guys are probably close enough to overhear.

"Holy shit! He's like twice your age!"

"Not anymore," I point out, and she rolls her eyes.

"Semantics, Bella. How did you guys meet?"

I take a deep breath. "His parents lived next door to my dad and me back in Washington. Edward moved back in with them in April."

"And immediately hit on the high school student next door?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

"It wasn't like that!" I argue. "I'm pretty much the one who went after him."

Alice's eyes narrow, but she nods.

When Edward comes back, he goes straight for the pool, then swims over to me. He wraps his arms around my waist, and I lean down for a kiss. I mean for it to be soft and sweet, but, well…

"Hey, Romeo!" Fernando yells, splashing water at us.

We break apart and Edward turns around just as the man is going to slap him on the back. He grabs my knee and I can almost see him cringe.

"Want to come play with us?" Fernando motions toward where the net is being set up.

"No thanks," he whispers.

"Suit yourself," Fernando shrugs, swimming away.

Exhaling heavily, Edward turns around, leaning his forehead against my stomach. I tentatively reach my hand up, running my fingers through his hair. "I'm gonna smoke," he says quietly, finally looking up at me.

I watch Edward get out of the pool, picking up his lighter and pack of cigarettes, then walk over toward the fence, away from the party guests. I knew there were potential minefields with so many people around.

"What was that all about?"

I whip my head around toward Alice, having forgotten that she was still there. "I… I told you he likes his personal space."

"It's a bit more than that."

"It is," I admit, "But it's not my place to say."

Alice eventually goes to join the volleyball game with Jasper, and when Edward comes back, he pulls me into the water with him, just floating quietly.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah," he promises. "If I wasn't, I'd go back up to our apartment."

I have no choice but to take him at his word, so I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him softly.

After another half hour or so, Alec returns — I hadn't even noticed he'd left — carrying a large white box. Alice calls everyone out of the pool, announcing it's time for birthday cake.

"You really didn't have to get me a cake, Alice," I scold her as I accept a small plate.

"Of course you need cake for your birthday," she replies with a smile.

As I stand eating my piece next to Edward, I notice Fernando glance over at us. He's staring at something, but I can't quite figure out what, until Edward turns slightly and I see the scar from his knife wound just above his board shorts. I look Fernando in the eye, silently telling him to leave it alone.

Eventually the guests take off, some of them headed to a frat party that I have zero interest in. Alice and Jasper do most of the cleaning up, and I hug her before they leave. As Edward and I walk back home, he wraps his arm around me and I can't stop my grin from taking over my face, feeling like half of a normal couple. I'm so proud of him for even making the effort today.

* * *

For my birthday, Edward and I spend the day at the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum and Old Tucson Studios, before going out for dinner. When we get home, he shows me exactly how much he loves me… multiple times.

Best. Birthday. Ever.

The following weekend, I accompany him to see Fernando for another haircut. After he tries — unsuccessfully — to convince Fernando to cut his hair dry, I realize that his main problem is having his hair washed, where he really can't see what's going on.

Once he's finished, he goes outside to smoke again while I take care of the payment.

"So what's his scar from?" Fernando asks.

"It's nothing," I lie.

"Mmm… looked like a knife wound to me. I saw plenty of violence growing up in Mexico."

"I'm sorry," I apologize. "It's not my place to say. It happened a long time ago though. That's honestly all _I_ know."

"He's damn pretty, but he's too manly and hairy for me. You can tell him I'm harmless," he adds with a wink.

"I think he does know that. He just…" I trail off, shrugging. I don't know how to explain Edward without revealing his past.

"Tell him I'll see him in a month."

* * *

Over the next several weeks, Edward and I settle into a groove. While I'm in class in the mornings, he works out or runs before it gets too hot outside. When I get home, we hang out together around the pool or check out the city, unless I've got too much homework to do. Sometimes I do the reading for one of my classes in a lounge chair by the pool while he swims.

Emmett has started inviting Edward to join him in the fitness center in the evenings sometimes, and I'm thrilled to see Edward making a friend. Emmett doesn't ask questions, just takes everything in stride, so he's the perfect friend for him.

Edward sees his new shrink twice a week, on Tuesdays and Fridays. He says he likes Dr. Banner and it's going well, but that's pretty much the closest I ever get to knowing what they talk about. I don't push him to tell me anything, no matter how curious I am.

Edward does seem to be getting more comfortable — no more panic attacks — but he has had two nightmares since we got to Tucson. He acts like it's no big deal and says it happens sometimes. _I_ think it's a big deal, but I try to act like it doesn't break my heart to see him like that. When I'm able to convince him to try to go back to sleep after, he just wants to cling to me, and I'll never be opposed to that.

Our sex life continues to be toe-curling. We make love anytime, anywhere, and every time it's just… so good. Who knew it could be so… liberating to not live with our parents? The only wrinkle is that contrary to Edward's promise that we could try again to have oral sex after he spoke to his shrink, he hasn't initiated anything. He's more than happy to go down on me, but he hasn't ever asked me to reciprocate. Again, I don't push him, hoping that he'll be more comfortable if it's his idea.

After we checked out a few more open houses for them, the Cullens purchased the house we'd visited in the Catalina Foothills. They've finally sold their home in Forks, so they'll be driving down here in late October. Carlisle's parents are both still alive and in their mid-80s, living in San Diego, so he's pleased to be moving so much closer to them. Esme's parents were older when she was born, and only her mother is still alive, living in an assisted living center in Seattle and suffering from Alzheimer's disease.

I have to admit that I'm looking forward to the Cullens moving here. Edward talks to his parents on the phone often, but I can tell that he still misses them. And I'm sure they miss him, too.

There's really only one big hurdle ahead of us: introducing Edward to my mom and Phil. I haven't told them about him yet, since he's supposed to be a guy I met here in Tucson. I've promised to visit them in Phoenix over Christmas, and I plan to bring him along then. Even if Mom never figures out who Edward is, I know I'll be fighting an uphill battle to get her to accept my much older and unemployed boyfriend.

He's worth every bit of trouble though. Leaving Forks wasn't a magical cure-all for Edward — though I never really thought it would be. But he's on the road to recovery, and that's all I need.

* * *

**A/N:** Yay, Edward survived socializing with a bunch of college students! And he's really settling in well, seeing his shrink, and working out with Emmett! Still anti-blowjob, though.

I love Bella's counting that now that she's 19 she's more than half Edward's age. Still too young for the "half your age plus 7" rule.

Last chapter a few of you were freaked out by Bella's reaction to Riley's appearance. No worries, he'd be more interested in Edward.

There's a time jump to the next chapter, approximately eight weeks after Chapter 21.

Next update on **Friday**.


	23. The Mistake

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story!

Many of you sound like proud mamas over Edward's progress since they got to Tucson, and there's lots of anticipation for Renee's meeting with Edward, but we're still over two months until Christmas.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 23 — The Mistake_

One Tuesday evening in mid-October, Edward and I are watching TV together when Emmett shows up, asking Edward to come to the fitness center with him. He likes to have someone spot him when he uses the weight machines, though he can probably bench press the combined weights of both Edward and me.

I have a paper that I should be writing anyway, so I assure Edward he's free to go, then hunker down at the kitchen table with my laptop.

When he comes back about two hours later, I look up from my computer and my mouth drops open. His face and hair are damp with sweat, and as he pulls his t-shirt over his head, the sweaty skin of his torso seems to glisten in the light. _Hot damn._

I stand up immediately, rushing over to him. "Welcome back," I purr, throwing my arms around Edward's neck. He kisses me back for more than several moments, until I begin trailing my hand down his side.

"I'm all sweaty," he protests. "Let me take a shower first. I'll be quick, I promise." He pecks my lips one more time, and I watch his very fine ass in his workout shorts as he walks down the hallway toward the bedroom.

Smiling widely, I save my Word document and shut the laptop off for the night. I head into the bedroom, flopping down in the middle of our bed. It's quite comfortable, though I do wish sometimes that it was larger than a double.

A minute or so after the water shuts off, Edward comes into the bedroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. He grins when he sees me practically drooling over him. "You are so obvious," he chuckles. "Take your shirt off."

"And you are so bossy," I laugh, though I think his bossiness is hot. As is everything about him.

I quickly move to discard my shirt, lying back again. Edward crawls onto the bed and over my body, then kisses me chastely. "We can't have sex, right?"

I'm confused for a moment as to how he knew that, but then I figure that he probably saw the wrappers from my tampons in the wastebasket.

"We can still make out," I propose.

Smiling, he kisses me again, long deep sensual kisses that have me cursing all of the bad parts of being a woman. I wrap my arms around him, brushing my hands up and down his bare back.

"Turn over," I suggest, and Edward lets me roll him onto his back, kissing the entire time. Bracing myself on one arm, I trace patterns over his chest with the other. I break away when I need to breathe, kissing my way down his neck and chest, lightly sucking on his nipples.

"All this working out agrees with you," I compliment him, brushing my hands across his defined abs.

He smirks at me, then bursts out in giggles. "I love your teenage hormones sometimes."

"Shut up," I cry good-naturedly. Turning back to his amazing body, I begin kissing my way down from his chest, over his stomach and down to his navel. I can see the tent in the towel from his erection, and I want my hands and mouth on it.

Edward has let me help take his shirt off once or twice since we got to Tucson, so I decide to be brave, tugging gently at where one corner of the towel is tucked under. I manage to get the corner out before his hand gently closes around my wrist.

I look up at Edward and he shakes his head. I climb off of him, sitting up to give him room, and he opens the towel, then sits up, cradling my jaw in his hand.

"Sorry," he whispers. "I still can't."

"It's fine," I promise him. And it is; I don't need to undress him. "Can I… can I try putting my mouth on you again?" If I wait for him to initiate, I might be waiting until hell freezes over.

He watches me for a moment, and I consider it a victory that he even seems to be considering it.

"I'll get down on the floor and you can move to the side of the bed. Maybe you'll feel more comfortable if I'm in a passive position like that."

"I… I don't know, Bella."

"You can stop me at any time," I promise, sliding off the bed. I get on my knees and he scoots forward on the bed until I'm kneeling between his legs. "Ok?" I ask, looking up at him. "I'll start really slow."

He still looks apprehensive, so I start with my hand on his cock, dropping soft kisses on his inner thighs.

"Look at me, Bella," he whispers, and I look up, giving him a soft smile before I slowly lick his cock from base to tip. I slide the head into my mouth, swirling my tongue around and around.

"Relax, Edward," I direct when I see that his hands are clenched into fists on his thighs. If he doesn't relax, this is never going to work.

Letting go of the base of his cock, I take each of his hands in mine, unclenching his fists, then interlacing our fingers and squeezing lightly. I suck the head of his cock into my mouth a few more times, but it's too difficult with no hands. I need one of them back.

I imagine he'll be more comfortable if he's touching me, and giving him a way to feel in control might help, too. And so I bring his right hand closer, gently placing it on the back of my head.

"No!"

Edward suddenly pushes me back with both hands, then scrambles away from me toward the center of the bed, lying on his side and bringing his knees up into a fetal position. I stare at him in horror as the puzzle pieces start to fit together in my mind.

"Edward?" I call softly. I get no answer. He's breathing heavily but it seems like he's trying to control it on his own. "Breathe, Edward."

The first tear falls from my eyes as I watch his struggle. _God_, I was trying to make it better for him, not… not remind him of…

Moving very slowly, I get up and sit on the bed. Edward's eye peeks open, watching my every move. Again moving as slowly as I can, I reach out to his shoulder, pulling him closer, until his head is cradled in my lap, thanking God all the while that he's letting me touch him.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I croon as I run my fingers gently through his hair. I don't know if I'm apologizing more for my own actions or for the horrors he must have experienced so many years ago.

As his breathing slows, he watches me, but I almost have to look away from the heartbreaking look on his face. My tears are flowing freely now, as I continue apologizing, even though he may be locked in the past and not actually able to hear me.

"Don't cry," he rasps. That just makes me cry harder.

Edward finally moves from his position, sitting up, then brings his knees up and wraps his arms around them — still locked up in his safe little ball.

"I fucked up. I'll never, ever ask for anything like that again," I vow. "Now that… now that…"

A handful of tears leak out of his beautiful but oh-so-sad green eyes, before he squeezes them closed and buries his head in his knees.

"I need to smoke," he chokes out, moving off the bed so suddenly he startles me. He grabs a pair of boxers from the drawer and disappears out the door.

Alone, I scrub my hands over my face then walk into the bathroom, removing my mascara before any more of it can end up under my eyes. I wash my face then change into my pajamas, going to lie on the bed as I wait for Edward.

Only I wait for far longer than it should take him to smoke one cigarette, and still he doesn't come back.

After at least half an hour, I head out to the balcony, sliding the door open but remaining in the doorway watching him stare out at the desert.

"Are you coming inside?" I ask.

In answer, he picks up his pack of cigarettes, pulling out another. I bite my lip, sliding the door closed.

I should get back to my paper, but there's no way I can concentrate on anything right now. Instead, I flop onto the couch and turn the TV on.

I mindlessly watch a movie, and Edward still doesn't come back inside. Turning the TV off, I stand up, yawning as I take another peek at him sitting out on the balcony.

"Edward? It's time for me to go to bed. Will you come with me?" I cringe at how needy I sound.

"I need to be alone right now." His tone of voice leaves no room for argument.

"Ok," I whisper, closing the door. I try not to start crying again as I brush my teeth, then crawl into bed, alone for the first time in two months.

I lie there staring at the moon outside the window, unable to sleep. I've fucked up with Edward before, but this time… it feels different somehow.

Two, maybe three hours later, I'm startled by the sound of the toilet flushing. Keeping my eyes closed, I pretend to be asleep when I feel the bed dip from Edward's weight. His arm comes around me, pulling me back into his chest, and I feel like I can finally breathe again.

And I sleep.

* * *

When the alarm on my phone goes off, I'm exhausted, but I shut it off and get out of bed. Edward is sleeping peacefully so I move quietly, trying not to wake him.

By the time I'm showered, dressed and ready to leave for school, he's still asleep. I bend down and kiss his forehead lightly, whispering that I love him.

I'm a zombie through my four classes.

When I get back home, the place is too quiet. I look for Edward first on the balcony, but he's not there. He's not in the rest of the apartment either. Since the car is still parked in its usual spot, I assume he's either out jogging or in the fitness center. I wait for an hour or so, but when he doesn't show, I make myself a sandwich, sending him a text to ask where he is.

Fifteen minutes later, his reply text says he's jogging. The temperature isn't so unbearably hot here anymore, probably only mid-80s, so I'm not worried about him collapsing from heat stroke, as I would've been a month ago.

I try to work on my paper, but I need to see Edward. I need to see that he's all right. I need to see that _we_ are all right.

It's nearly 6pm when he finally returns. I look up as he steps inside, my eyes widening slightly at his appearance. He hasn't shaved today and his eyes just look… haunted.

"Gonna take a shower," he says quietly.

This time, I wait on the couch for him. When he finally comes back, he heads straight for the balcony door.

"What would you like for dinner?" I call to him before he can slip outside.

"Whatever you want."

I exhale heavily. He's most definitely avoiding me, though at least it's not quite as bad as it was when he lived next door.

I don't feel like cooking anything, so I grab the car keys, heading to the sub place that Emmett told us about. I pick up Edward's favorite deluxe grinder and a chef salad for me.

Edward is still outside when I get home, so I get us drinks from the fridge, then head out onto the balcony. I sit in the chair next to him, setting the drinks down on the small table. I set his sandwich next to the beer I brought for him, then open the plastic top on my salad.

We eat in silence until I can't take it anymore. "I'm sorry, Edward," I plead. "I fucked up, but please stop giving me the silent treatment."

"I'm not."

"You _are_. Please don't be angry."

He looks over at me, leaning his head against the back of the chair. "I'm not angry with you, Bella," he says, more softly than anything else he's said to me in the last almost 24 hours.

I stare into his eyes, wishing, not for the first time, that I could read his mind. If he's not angry, then why is he being like this?

And then I see it… the tiny touch of shame in his eyes. Is he ashamed of his reaction? Or because of what happened to cause it in the first place? It's not his fault! _Nothing_ is his fault.

I want to tell him that, but… in the mood he's in, I'm afraid he'll just shut down if I mention the past.

He lights a cigarette and I wonder if he wants to be left alone. I gather up our trash, then stand up. I have a test in my Spanish class tomorrow morning that I should probably study for.

"I'll come in when you go to bed."

I stop, letting out a breath. I guess that means don't bother him until bedtime.

* * *

"Ok, spill it, Swan," Alice says to me as we eat lunch together following our English class. "What's wrong?"

I set my slice of pizza down, looking over at my friend. God, how I wish that I could just tell her the truth. I have no one that I can truly confide in. I feel so alone in this sometimes.

"Are you and Edward having problems?" she asks. "Did you have a fight?" she persists when I don't respond.

"Maybe… Kinda-sorta," I admit. Maybe there's some way I can discuss this with Alice without breaking Edward's confidence?

"What happened?" Alice asks curiously.

"I… I did something Tuesday night. I crossed a line with him. I've done that before, a couple of times, but… I don't know how to come back from it. I've apologized and promised it'll never happen again, and he says he's not angry with me, but he's still avoiding me."

"How did things get worked out when you did it before?" she asks, frowning. I can tell she's confused by how cryptic I'm being.

"The first time… he avoided me for four days before coming to apologize. The second time he ran away at first, but we worked through it. I thought he'd learned to handle it better.

"I just wish… I wish he could tell me where the lines are. But he can't, so sometimes I go too far or do the wrong thing without meaning to. I never mean to hurt him."

"I'm sure he knows that, Bella," Alice says gently. "How is he avoiding you? You guys live together."

I sigh, taking a sip of my drink. "Since… since I fucked up, he's been spending all of his time either out jogging or sitting on the balcony alone. And he hasn't been getting up with me in the mornings like he usually does. Yesterday I think he was genuinely asleep, since he came to bed so late, but today I think he was faking.

"What should I do, Alice?" I ask desperately. "I just want my boyfriend back."

"Then get him back," she says simply. "Make him talk to you and tell you what he's thinking."

"I think making Edward do things is the problem," I mutter under my breath.

"What was that?"

I shake my head. "I just hate to push him on things. Pushing his limits doesn't seem to work out well, unless he's pushing himself."

"Is he worth all of this second-guessing and having to be so careful around him?"

"Yes! God, Alice, I love him so much. How could you even ask that?"

She smiles. "I just wanted you to remind yourself. Obviously you have to take the bad to get to the good times, but if it's worth it, then… go fight for him."

"Thanks, Alice," I reply, reaching across the table to give her a quick hug.

"Isn't there anyone you can talk to about this _not_ in code?" she asks curiously.

"No," I sigh. "I mean, my best friend from back home knows some things, but not all of them, since I didn't want to break his confidence."

"I'm sorry," she frowns. "Don't let him get away with acting like this though. Make him talk to you about what he's feeling."

"I will," I vow, standing up. I'm ready to get my man back.

* * *

**A/N:** So… I'm sure you all have something to say about this mess! Bella thinks she's finally figured out what Edward is dealing with, but she had to learn the hard way. And Edward isn't being a very good boyfriend right now.

Some readers loved Alice and some found her a bit intrusive last chapter. How did she do with her advice to Bella?

Next update on **Tuesday**.


	24. The Aftermath

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story!

The majority of reviewers seem to be upset with Bella for what happened last chapter. Although there are some who placed more of the blame on Edward or didn't understand anger at Bella, while others are Team Switzerland.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 24 — The Aftermath_

When I get home, I set my things down and head straight for the balcony. Edward is out there, as I'd expected, just staring out at the desert. He hasn't shaved again today.

His eyes follow me as I walk slowly up to him and sit down across his lap. I wrap my arms around his torso, leaning my head against his chest. Just the sound of his heartbeat beneath my ear calms me. I smile when Edward slowly brings his arms up, wrapping them around me.

Finally, I lift my head, bringing one hand up to brush it along his scruffy jaw. "I kinda like this."

He snorts, giving me a tiny smile.

"I'm so sorry," I plead.

"I know."

"Then tell me what's wrong, Edward. If you're not angry, then why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop," he replies quietly.

My brow furrows in confusion. "What does that mean?"

"I'm waiting for you to decide it's too much," he says, looking into my eyes. "For you to realize you don't want to be with a man who can't… who can't even… Until you realize you want a whole man."

He stares down at the floor and I slowly turn his face, making him look at me again. "You _are_ a whole man. And I told you I'd never run."

"But you want to… and I can't…"

"I only want to do what you want to do!" I shout in frustration. "God, Edward, if you'd told me why you were uncomfortable with me giving you blowjobs, I never would've pushed the issue."

"So you're saying it's my fault."

"No," I sigh, "It's not your fault. I know that it's more that you _can't_ tell me than you _won't_."

"I'm so fucked up, Bella," he whispers. "What teenage girl would really want to deal with this?"

"One who loves you," I reply, leaning up to kiss his chin softly.

"Is that really enough?" he asks sadly. "You'd be so much better off without me."

We stare into each other's eyes as I caress his jaw. I don't know how to get through to him, to make him believe that this is what I want.

"You let me decide that for myself, ok? I love you so much, Edward. I hate it when I hurt you. All I want to do is see that beautiful smile.

"Please come back to me. I know you're hurting too, but it's not even been two days and I miss you so much," I cry, trying not to get choked up.

"I'm right here."

"But you've been avoiding me. I miss waking up with you in the morning. I miss hanging out with you after I get home from class."

"You won't leave?" he asks in a small voice.

"Stop trying to make me, Cullen," I reply sternly. This time I gently kiss those soft, pouty lips that I've been missing. "I'm not going to leave you, Edward."

He hugs me to him and I go willingly, hugging him just as tightly. When he leans down to kiss the top of my head, I know we're gonna be ok.

"I don't suppose you want to talk about what happened…?" I try.

I lift my head to look at him when he doesn't respond, and the look on his face breaks my heart. "I can't," he finally whispers.

"Ok," I concede, reaching up to stroke his scruffy cheek despite my disappointment. "I meant what I said — I will never, ever push you like that again. When — if — you're ready to try again, you let me know, ok?"

He nods, giving me a small smile.

I snuggle back up against his chest, and we stay like that for hours, just holding each other. And I'm perfectly content to do just that, even if I do have a paper due next week.

Until eventually, I really need to pee, so I reluctantly pull away. "Come inside with me?"

"Let me have a cigarette, then I will."

I nod, standing up from Edward's lap. I take care of business in the bathroom, then lie down on the bed, since I haven't slept well the last two nights. It's still a bit early for dinner, at least for me. I have no idea if Edward has eaten today.

When he comes in and lies down beside me, I immediately scoot over, laying my head on his chest with my arm over his stomach. I absently scratch my fingernails over his abs, but I certainly don't want to start something sexual right now.

I giggle when Edward's stomach growls. "When did you last eat?"

He shrugs. "I had a bowl of cereal when I came back from the fitness center this morning."

"Then we should feed you," I suggest, climbing off the bed and dragging him with me.

We end up going to a Mexican restaurant over by the Safeway, then come back home, where I sit on the bed typing on my laptop while Edward lies on his stomach, his head resting on his folded arms, watching me.

"Will you come with me to my appointment tomorrow?" he asks suddenly.

I look up from the screen, staring at him in shock. "You want me to come with you as you talk to your shrink?" My heart starts pounding… is he really letting me in?

He grimaces. "Not like that. I mean… wait outside for me."

Oh. I try not to frown.

"I could do my homework in the waiting area as well as at home, I suppose. Why do you want me to come?"

"I — when I tell him about this week. I don't know how upset I'll be afterward."

"And you're afraid you won't be able to drive home?"

He nods, and I reach down, running my fingers through his hair. "Of course I'll come. Do you think… someday I might be able to attend one of your sessions?"

"I've told you, Bella — there's a lot of shit you don't want to know."

"You could let me decide that."

"No." He sits up abruptly, scrubbing his hands over his face. "Sorry, I just… I don't want you to hear all that shit, ok?"

"It's not like I haven't been putting the pieces together." At his stricken look, I quickly change the subject to calm him. "I won't leave you, no matter what I hear."

"I can't take that chance." He climbs off the bed, heading for the door. "Just going for a smoke; I'll be back."

* * *

After my last class on Friday morning, Edward picks me up to take me to lunch and then over to his therapist's office. As I sit in the waiting room at Dr. Banner's office, I'm ostensibly doing the reading for one of my classes — but I'm really just daydreaming, worrying about my boyfriend.

He's driven himself to all of his appointments since he got his license, so he must really be expecting today's session to be emotional in order to ask me to be here to possibly drive home. Or else he just wants to reassure himself that I'm still here.

If I was one of those people who bites their fingernails, I'd totally be doing that as the end of the hour draws near. I'm not sure what to expect when he comes out.

I have a plan though, a place I've heard about but haven't been to yet. And if it's empty in the middle of a Friday afternoon, well, then I have more plans.

"Bella?"

I look up at his quiet voice and have to try really hard to school the look on my face. Edward looks like he's been crying. Combine that with the fact that he still hasn't shaved, and well… who knew someone could look awful _and_ sexy at the same time?

He most definitely needs all of my plans.

I jump up from my seat, rushing to him. He opens his arms, hugging me tightly, and I'm just so glad he's not avoiding me anymore.

"So you're Bella?"

I jump back at the sound of the deep voice, staring up at the middle-aged man who must be Edward's therapist.

"Um, yes," I reply, clearing my throat.

"It's good to finally meet you," he says, holding his hand out. I give him a small smile as I shake his hand. I've never asked Edward if Dr. Banner has the same opinion of our relationship as Dr. Jenks.

"I'll see you next week, Edward."

"Ok," he replies quietly, tugging on my hand. I can tell he wants to get the hell out of here.

Once we're outside, Edward reaches into the pocket of his cargo shorts, pulling out the car keys and handing them to me. I love that this car has memory positions for adjusting the seat and mirrors, so I don't have to spend ages doing it.

Once I get on I-10, I drive to Congress Street, following the signs to Sentinel Peak Park. There are no other cars in the small parking area, and I breathe a small sigh of relief, trying to control my grin.

I pull into a space to the far end of the parking lot — away from the two handicapped spots. Shifting the car into Park, I turn off the ignition and unbuckle my seatbelt. This is a lot more difficult than it was in my old truck, but I climb over the center console until I'm straddling Edward's lap. He raises an eyebrow as I unlatch his seatbelt, pulling it away from his body.

And then I attack his lips.

Only he doesn't respond as I'd expected, instead gently pushing me away. "Don't start something we can't finish, Bella."

"We can finish."

"Yeah?" He looks like a kid on Christmas morning and I try not to laugh.

I wind my arms around his neck, kissing him softly. "Yes," I whisper.

This time he kisses me back. And in no time, he's pulling my shirt over my head and unhooking my bra.

Edward pushes the seat position button to scoot back as far as he can, then arches my back so he has easy access to my breasts. I grind my hips over his growing erection as he licks and sucks and teases both nipples into hard peaks.

"Fuck… need you so bad," he groans, working the zipper on my skinny jeans. How in the hell I'm going to get out of them may be an issue though.

"Get in the back," he suggests, and I start climbing back between the seats. Laughing, Edward gives me a light tap on my backside as I dive headfirst into the backseat. "You could've taken the easy way, like I plan to."

While I lie back and work on getting my jeans off, he moves the seat forward again, opens the door, then climbs out and gets in the back door. He gives me a little smirk as he starts opening the button fly on his shorts.

"Not my fault you're too old to do it my way," I tease.

"Oh, you're gonna pay for that," he growls. _Bring it on._

I squeal as Edward grabs hold of my legs, lifting them up and off the seat until they fall over his shoulders. My squeals turn to whimpers and moans when he dives in between my legs with his lips and tongue.

"Oh fuck," I groan. He has no mercy on me, attacking my clit with no warm-up and bringing me right to the edge.

And then he pulls his mouth away.

What. The. Fuck.

"Edward," I whimper.

"Take it back."

"You're not old!" I shout.

He starts laughing immediately. "You didn't even try to put up a fight."

"Edward!"

"I'll take care of you, baby," he promises.

I whimper again as his tongue licks up the length of my slit. He really seems to enjoy doing this since I started waxing; though I haven't taken _all_ the hair off the last two times. He suggested I leave at least a landing strip, otherwise he said he'd feel like a pedophile.

Edward slides his hands forward from my hips, squeezing my breasts while his tongue continues to work me over.

"So close… don't stop," I moan. I'm not above begging right now.

When my orgasm hits, it's like my entire body is on fire, shaking with pleasure. He brings me down slowly, then lowers my legs to the seat — a look of pride on his face.

"Not bad for an old man, huh?" he winks. He hadn't gotten his pants all the way off before he snatched me, so he takes care of that now and his cock springs free.

Lifting my right leg over his hip, he buries himself inside me in one thrust. I cry out in pleasure, then quickly learn to brace my hands against the car door so I don't bump my head from the force of his thrusts.

"You feel so good… " Edward moans, then leans down to kiss me quickly before he begins sucking on my neck.

"Better not… hickey…" I can barely manage.

He lifts his head, kissing me again, and I bring one arm around his back, trying to keep him right there. I can taste myself on his tongue, and it's still a little weird to me, but I like kissing him enough to ignore it.

He suddenly reaches under me to arch my back, and oh God, now he's hitting just the right spot. I let out an embarrassingly loud moan as he begins rolling his hips.

"Is the old man gonna make you come again, baby?" he teases. I have no idea how he can speak coherently right now.

"You'd better answer me," he growls, sucking on one of my nipples.

"Y-y-yes!" I shout before I'm overwhelmed with wave after wave of my orgasm.

"Fuck!" he shouts, burying himself balls deep as he comes.

Edward collapses on top of me, trying to catch his breath. I seem to come back to the world first, reaching up to brush his sweaty hair out of his face.

"God, I love you," he moans and I chuckle.

"I'm not sure how much I trust that when your dick is still inside me."

He pulls out then, slowly sitting up. "Now can I tell you I love you?"

I nod. "And now please grab a tissue or something, before I make a mess all over the backseat."

Grinning, he reaches into the center console, pulling out a napkin, then gently cleans me off. I wince a little, still pretty sensitive.

"Did I hurt you?" he asks, freezing in place.

"No, Edward," I promise him — though I'm so going to have beard burn. He looks skeptical, but he decides to leave it, then starts handing me my clothes.

Once I'm dressed, I peck him on the lips, then open the door.

It's _my_ turn to freeze in place when I notice two other cars in the parking lot. They're up by the handicapped spots though, and we do have tinted windows, but I really hope we didn't just give someone a free show.

Edward hops out, coming around to see what I'm looking at. "You're the one who suggested sex in a parking lot," he laughs and I glare at him.

"Someone could've seen us!"

"Seen me, you mean. You were underneath me," he shrugs. When I'm still a little freaked out, he pulls me into his arms, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. "I really don't think anyone saw us, Bella."

I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He's probably right. I mean, if they saw us having sex… they probably would've stayed to watch all of it. Edward has a really nice backside.

"So… since we're up here, should we actually go see the view of Tucson?" I suggest, much to my boyfriend's amusement.

* * *

**A/N:** So what are we thinking now? Edward can't bring himself to New Moon Bella, though he's just waiting for her to leave. He's still not willing to tell her what happened in prison, or invite her to one of his sessions, as several readers suggested.

Sentinel Peak, also known as "A" mountain, is in the Tucson Mountains just west of Tucson. It features a large, man-made rock formation in the shape of the letter "A" for the University of Arizona.

image dot shutterstock dot com / display_pic_with_logo/717385/103091372/stock-photo-sentinel-peak-more-commonly-known-as-a-mountain-in-tucson-arizona-103091372 dot jpg

Next update on **Friday**.


	25. The Parents

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! Though once again we prove my theory about lemon chapters…

Seems many of you fondly remember "parking" or car sex from your youth! And most are just happy they kissed and made up.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 25 — The Parents_

Edward's parents finally arrive in Tucson during the last week of October. We drive over to their new house once they've called to let us know they've arrived.

Almost as soon as Edward is out of the car, his mother throws her arms around him, hugging him tightly. He whispers something to her, but I can't hear it.

Once she's finally let him go, Carlisle gives his son one of those man-hugs and I grin widely. I'm really happy that they're here.

"Hello, Bella," Esme greets me with a quick hug.

"How was your trip?"

"Long," she sighs. "I'm glad we've finally made it."

Edward and I do most of the heavy lifting, helping to empty their rental U-Haul trailer. When we've finished, we drive over with them to drop it off, then they follow us to our apartment. We give his parents a quick tour, ending up back in the living room.

"The grounds look pretty from what I could see so far, and it's a lovely apartment, but it's so small, Edward," his mother laments. "You have the money to afford a bigger place."

"My mom and stepdad are paying for the apartment," I explain. "They don't know about Edward yet. Maybe when our lease is up and they know about him, we could move — if he wants to."

"I spent 18 years in a six-by-nine cell, Mom. Really, this place is fine."

Esme frowns, but nods.

"As long as you're happy," Carlisle says.

Edward smokes a cigarette while we show them the pool area, then the four of us get into our SUV and drive to dinner at the Mexican place that Emmett and Rose took us to. They ask questions about my classes, and appear to be trying not to push Edward too much toward getting a job or some kind of schooling of his own. I don't think he's ready for that yet.

When we get back to our apartment after dinner, Edward steps out onto the balcony for another cigarette.

"How is he really, dear?" Esme asks as soon as he's closed the door.

"He's fine," I nod, giving her a small smile. "He's even made a friend, a 30-year-old guy who lives here with his wife, who's getting her Master's at UA. They go work out together in the fitness center."

"That's wonderful," she smiles. "I'm so glad he has a friend."

"Has he had any… panic attacks?" Carlisle asks.

I'm like a deer in headlights for a moment. What can I tell them that isn't going too far? I don't know what they know — though I guess this means they've witnessed at least one attack of their own.

"Um, a couple," I answer honestly. "He's all right though."

"I feel so bad for my baby," Esme says softly. "I wish I could just take it all away."

"He's dealing. He's seeing his shrink twice a week. Um… how-how much do you know about… about his time in prison?" I try to choose my words carefully and not point out that "things" happened to him, in case they don't know.

"Very little," Carlisle answers. "We knew that he was stabbed by another inmate when he was 21, because someone from the prison called us. Otherwise, I'm not sure we'd even have known that."

"We have some guesses, of course," Esme says carefully. "We used to visit him once a month, and even though we had to be separated by a partition and use a phone to talk to him, we could tell at some point that something had changed. He was even quieter than usual, more withdrawn. He could barely look us in the eye."

I stare down at my hands, not wanting to give anything away.

"You seem good for him, Bella," Carlisle says. "I'm ashamed of the fact that we weren't immediately supportive of your relationship."

"I understood. I know you were just worried about him."

"Do you love him?" Esme asks.

"I do," I reply, unable to control my smile. "Edward is amazing. He's so strong, even if he doesn't realize it." She smiles softly back.

"I do wish he'd at least start to think about the future," Carlisle says. "It's been over six months now since he's been out of prison."

"For 18 years he wondered when he was going to die. He isn't used to having a future to think about," I explain.

"Edward has always responded much better if he makes his own decisions, rather than being pushed," Esme states. _Boy, do I know that._ "Carlisle tried for years to talk Edward into becoming a doctor, but he didn't decide to go that route until after we gave up."

I smile at how much he hasn't changed, just as the door opens, startling me a bit. I start to feel just a little bit guilty about talking to Edward's parents about him, but I know they're worried — and I know I didn't break his confidence.

Edward comes to sit beside me, taking my hand, and we chat with his parents before they leave to check into their hotel. Esme bought all new furniture online to fit with the Southwest style of their new house; they can't stay there until the furniture is delivered tomorrow. Our second bedroom has only a twin bed, or they would've been welcome to stay with us.

"Did you guys have a nice talk?" Edward asks with a smirk after they've left.

"What-what do you mean?"

"When I went out to smoke, I'm sure you guys used the opportunity to talk about me." He walks back over to the couch, sitting down beside me.

My mouth opens and closes a few times before I can respond. "They just worry about you."

"I'm ok," he shrugs. "Maybe I haven't progressed as much as they'd like to see, but… I'm doing all I can."

"I know you are," I assure him. I climb onto his lap and wrap my arms around his neck. "I'm so proud of you."

"Even after last week?" he asks skeptically.

"Yes! We survived last week. You just need to remember not to shut me out like that. Those two days were _not_ fun."

"It's better that way."

"Not for me," I protest. Is he kidding?

"Better than me saying something I might later regret, Bella," he says softly, wrapping his arms around me. He tugs me closer, and I give him a gentle kiss.

"Take me to bed."

"_Now_ who's being bossy?" he grins.

* * *

"I need your help, Alice," I beg, sitting down with her for lunch on the following Tuesday.

"Man troubles again?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

"No, no, things with Edward are great." Understatement… he woke me up this morning with his face between my legs. "I need to borrow your car this weekend."

"Don't you guys have a fairly new car? Is it in the shop?"

"No, nothing like that. My mom just called me yesterday to tell me she's coming to visit this weekend. Once she realized that we've both got Monday off for Veterans Day, she figured it was a perfect time for a visit." _I_ nearly went into a panic attack when she called.

"I'm not following how that means you need my car," Alice chuckles.

"Mom doesn't know about Edward yet," I explain. "We were hoping to tell her at Christmas and let her think that I met him here in Tucson. So he'll be staying with his parents for the weekend."

"His _parents_?!" she interrupts. "Don't they live in Washington?"

I shake my head. "They just moved down here last week, bought a house in Catalina Foothills."

"They followed you here? Are they retired?" Shit, that does sound kind of strange.

"Not yet, though they're in their early 60s, so they'll probably retire soon. His dad is a doctor and got a job at Tucson Medical Center, starting next week. His mom hasn't found a job yet. Edward's parents are super nice." Even though they're like my grandparents' age, I do like them.

"Ok, so… back to your question. Why would Edward take your car with him? Can't you just drop him off at his parents' house? Or they could pick him up?"

"It's a bit more complicated than that," I begin, then take a deep breath. "See, I used to drive a 1950s pick-up that my dad got from a friend of his. Everyone knew it'd never be able to make the drive to Tucson. Edward's SUV is far too nice for something my dad could've gotten me to replace it.

"But I need to have _some_ kind of vehicle. I could just say I take the campus shuttle or the bus everywhere, but Mom knows I drove down here. I need something that looks like a college student should be driving it."

"When is she coming?" Alice asks.

"Friday night after work. And she'll leave Monday afternoon."

"Ok, so you could walk back to my apartment with me after lunch on Thursday and drive my car to your place, then bring it back on Tuesday. I'm sure Jasper and I can manage with just having one car for the weekend."

"Thank you, Alice!" I exclaim gratefully. "Let me double check with Edward first, but I could give you his cell number and he may be able to help you out if you're in a bind with just one car. I'll owe you big time for this — you're a lifesaver. I just really don't want to have to tell Mom the truth."

"So what's so bad about her finding out Edward came from Washington with you?"

I sit back in my chair, sighing as I try to figure out how to explain it. "He's afraid that if my mom finds that out, she might… remember him."

Alice's eyes widen. "They didn't date, did they?"

"What?! No! They didn't date, but they did go to high school together. Sort of."

"Sort of?"

I nod. "Mom was two years ahead of Edward in school."

"So if she remembers him, then she'll know exactly how old he is," Alice deduces. "Yeah, I can see how you might not want that. He's clearly older than you, but it might be better if she doesn't know by how much."

I nod, smiling at the fact that Alice's head went in the wrong direction. Her explanation does make perfect sense.

"What's it like dating a guy that old?" she asks, looking for all the world like a gossipy teenager. "He doesn't need to take Viagra, does he?"

"Jesus, Alice! He's 37, not 67. Although…" I trail off with a grin.

"What?" she asks, leaning forward in her chair.

"Maybe that explains why he has such stamina; he can keep going for hours and hours."

Alice's jaw drops open and I can't help laughing at her. "I'm kidding!"

"You bitch," she chuckles. "So why was that freakin' hot man single and available for you to snatch up? Seriously, I can't believe he wasn't already married to some lucky woman. Or did he get a divorce? Is that why he moved back in with his parents?"

"Something like that," I lie. "But he hasn't been married before, no."

"Do you think he'll propose soon? I mean, you're just a freshman, but he's at that age where he's gotta be thinking about settling down, getting married, having children…"

"I don't think either one of us is ready for anything like that," I tell her honestly.

* * *

Mom and I spend the weekend touring around the old part of Tucson and visiting both districts of Saguaro National Park. We even take in the Arizona Wildcats football game together — my first game since I haven't been able to convince Edward to go with me. He's assured me that I can go without him, but I feel bad leaving him at home while I go with some of my classmates.

As soon as Mom leaves, just after dinner on Monday, I text Edward to let him know the coast is clear. Twenty minutes later, the door opens and he walks in, wheeling his overnight bag. He closes the door behind him, then stands in front of it, staring at me.

"You have one minute to get your clothes off before I rip them off," he says, as calmly as if he's telling me about the weather outside.

My eyes widen for a moment, and then he starts counting down from 60.

_Holy shit_, he's serious! Desire pools between my thighs as I smile widely, standing up off the couch. I quickly strip out of my clothes, while I try to figure out how and where I want him. The couch is always fun… Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Edward pulling his shirt over his head and start unbuttoning his jeans.

The back of our loveseat faces the dining area, and looking at it gives me an idea for something different. I walk around it, then lean my forearms on the back of the loveseat, sticking my ass out and giving it a little wiggle.

I'm fully expecting Edward to pounce on me at any moment, but when that doesn't happen, I peek over my shoulder at him. He's still standing rooted to the same spot with his pants open, staring at me. His brow is furrowed, but then he shakes his head, squeezing his eyes closed and muttering something to himself that I can't quite hear.

And then he finally starts walking toward me. He gently moves all of my hair over my left shoulder, and then wrapping his arms around my torso, he encourages me to stand up straight. He brings his hands up to touch my breasts, gently squeezing and massaging them as he buries his face in my neck. I don't know whether to concentrate on his lips or the way he tugs and tweaks at my nipples with his thumbs and forefingers.

Edward trails his right hand down my stomach, lightly brushing one finger between my legs. "Mmm… you're wet for me."

"Yes," I reply breathily as he softly circles my clit with his long finger. I arch my back, rubbing my backside against his erection.

"Do you want me, baby?" he asks.

"So much," I moan.

"Do you want me to make sweet love to you?" he whispers. "To take my time and worship you? Or do you want to be fucked?"

_Oh hell. Where did this man come from?_

"Th-the second one." And then maybe the first one later.

"Say it," he whispers, placing a soft kiss right on the pulse point on my neck. "Out loud. Tell me what you want me to do to you."

"I want you to fuck me!" I shout, more turned on than I've ever been in my life.

"As you wish," he growls.

I nearly pout when he removes his hands from me, but perk up when I hear the rustling as he removes his jeans and underwear. I lean forward, resting my forearms on the back of the loveseat again.

"I love you, so much," he whispers, softly sucking my earlobe into his mouth. I feel his hard cock press against my entrance, then try not to moan like a porn star when he pushes inside. He stops once he's buried inside me, letting me adjust, I assume. His hands grab hold of my hips and I hold my breath as he slowly pulls back out.

"Oh, shit!" I yelp at his first hard thrust. And then he delivers on his promise, fucking me until I'm cursing and moaning and so, so ready to come.

Edward brings his right hand around, pressing his fingers against me, and that's all it takes for me to shatter into a million pieces.

"Oh God," he moans, thrusting hard twice more before he comes. He collapses on top of me, panting heavily in my ear.

I slowly turn my face toward him and he kisses me gently. "Up you go," he says, straightening me up as he pulls out. He spins me around and I throw my arms around his neck, kissing him with everything in me.

He lifts me up and I wind my legs around his waist, still kissing him, until finally I need to breathe.

"What brought that on?" I pant.

"I missed you," he shrugs, and a slow smile spreads across my face… though I'm not 100% sure he's telling the truth and that's all there is to it.

"Why did you hesitate before you walked over to me?" I ask curiously.

"I—" He bows his head, looking a bit uncomfortable, so I hurriedly decide to change the subject. I don't want to spoil our reunion.

"I think I'll take option one now; I want to be worshipped."

Edward lifts his head, chuckling. "Gotta give your old boyfriend a chance to recover first."

* * *

**A/N:** Finally, Edward has his parents nearby and even spent the weekend with them. They'd like to see him start to get his life and future in order, but he has other things to deal with first.

Thanks to Alice, Bella managed to spend the weekend with Renee without her finding out about Edward. I imagine she had to hide his things and/or keep her out of their bedroom!

What about Alice wondering if Edward uses Viagra? And what got into Edward? Bella wasn't so sure he _just_ missed her, and then he hesitated before coming to her.

Next update on **Tuesday**. We'll meet another new character, and I'm so excited! Woot!


	26. The Pet

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! Though once again we prove my theory about lemon chapters…

Just a reminder that lying to Renee about his past is all Edward's idea. Bella is going along with it for him.

Someone with PMs turned off is angry with Bella, saying "she can eat something besides a salad every time they get food." I checked the Word doc, and the chef salad in Chapter 24 is the only one she eats in the entire story, so I'm not quite sure where that came from.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 26 — The Pet_

When I come home after having lunch with Alice one Thursday in mid-November, I find Edward curled up on the couch — despite the gorgeous weather outside — with something colorful on his chest. He holds his finger up to his lips, silently indicating for me to be quiet.

I take a few steps closer, realizing the tiny, colorful ball of fur is a kitten when I see its pointy ears. It's fast asleep, nestled against Edward's large hand. He carefully moves his hand so I can get a better look at the kitten. Its back is a chaotic mix of orange and black, with spots of white near its head, but what I can see of its furry tummy appears to be mostly white.

"Where did you get that?" I whisper.

"I found her on the side of the road, while I was out jogging," he explains quietly. "Her mom had been hit by a car, and I didn't see any other siblings."

"Her?"

He nods. "I remember reading somewhere that calico cats are almost always female."

As if she senses that we're talking about her, the tiny kitten blinks opens her big blue eyes and lifts her head, opening her mouth wide in a yawn.

"Aren't you the cutest little thing?" I coo. What a sweet face she has.

Edward smiles, softly petting the kitten. "Can we keep her, Mom?" he asks, looking up at me in his best five-year-old impersonation.

I chuckle. "Have you had a cat before?" I can't specifically remember if I saw a cat in any of the old photos Edward showed me last summer.

"Yeah, we got one when I was two, and he was definitely _my_ cat. He died a couple of months after I went to prison," he frowns as he remembers. "I always wondered if he died of a broken heart, since he missed me so much."

"Edward, if you got him when you were two, he must've been what, 16 or 17? Maybe he just died of old age."

"Maybe," he allows, stroking the kitten's furry back. He still looks sad though.

"What was his name?" I ask gently.

"Duke."

I can't hold in my laugh. "What kind of cat name is that? Seems like it's more suited to a large dog."

"I named him after my favorite TV show, _The Dukes of Hazzard_. I was only two, but I loved their orange car, and Duke was orange."

"I've never seen that show," I admit.

"Of course you haven't." He rolls his eyes.

"I think there was a movie by that name several years ago, but I never saw that either."

"So can we keep her?" he asks again. "I checked our lease, and cats or small dogs are allowed."

My brow furrows. "Why do you think you need my permission?"

"I just want to be sure you aren't allergic," he explains.

"My mom is, but I'm not," I assure him. My grandparents had three cats and they never seemed to bother me when Dad and I visited.

The kitten starts licking her left paw and I'm about ready to get my phone out and snap a photo. She is so darn cute. But then it hits me…

"We don't have anything we'll need for a cat. I mean, she needs food, and a litter box…"

"Yeah," he chuckles. "She's already peed on me once."

I giggle, tentatively reaching down to stroke the top of the kitten's head with one finger. "I suppose that means I have to go out to the pet store while you stay with the kitten."

He grins at me. "Keys are on the kitchen table."

* * *

An hour later, I'm back from my trip to Petco. It takes me three trips to carry everything upstairs from the car. I've got a plastic carrier for car rides, a soft bed, a litter box, litter, three bowls, kitten food, a scratching post and a handful of fuzzy mice toys.

We decide to set everything up in the spare bathroom for now, including her bed — at least until she's litter box trained. Or maybe she already is; there's only one way to find out.

While Edward fills the litter box, I fill one bowl with water, add dry food to the second and put wet food in the third. Of course she goes straight for the wet food.

"Have you named her yet?" I ask Edward. "And don't say Duchess."

He smiles at me from his place on the floor. "In keeping with my theme, I was thinking of naming her Daisy."

I blink my eyes a few times. "I don't get it."

"Daisy Duke?" he questions. "The other reason boys liked to watch that show."

"You were two!" I giggle. I've never known little boys to start looking at pretty girls _that_ young.

"Not when repeats were on in syndication during the 90s," he grins and I shake my head.

Finished with her meal for now, Daisy walks over to the water bowl and I giggle again at the way her tiny tongue laps at the water. Poor little orphaned kitty… I was afraid she wasn't really old enough to be away from her mother, but she seems to be doing well with eating, so she probably is.

"I need to go do some homework," I moan. I'd really rather stay and watch the kitten. "Are you gonna stay in here with her until she manages to use the litter box?"

"Yeah," he nods.

"Ok, yell if you need something."

I sit down with my laptop at the kitchen table, losing track of time as I work. After a couple of hours, Edward comes out, carrying the tiny furball.

"I need to smoke," he says. "Will you watch her?"

"Sure." I take the kitten from Edward, very glad I'm wearing jeans so her tiny, sharp claws can't dig into my skin. I pet her soft fur and those big blue eyes stare up at me. Her tail is standing straight up, which I know in cat speak means she's happy.

"I hope you like your new home, Daisy. Somehow I think you already have Edward wrapped around your paw." She gives me the teeniest meow in response, and I smile at her.

When Edward comes back in, I get up to start dinner while he takes Daisy into the living room, getting down on the floor with her and teasing her with one of the fuzzy mice. She pounces on it, kicking it a few inches away before pouncing again.

By the time our dinner is ready, Daisy is sound asleep on Edward's lap. I get her bed out of the bathroom and he carefully places her on it, then gets up to eat.

"So you probably need to find a vet tomorrow," I suggest as we eat, hoping Edward can take the lead on this. "I have no idea how old Daisy is, but she probably needs to start getting her shots."

"Ok," he nods. I'm admittedly a little bit shocked that he's agreed so easily. Other than his appointments with his shrink, he really hasn't done much without me around as a buffer. I've tried and failed to get him to go alone the last two times Fernando cut his hair, including just last weekend.

We spend the evening curled up on the couch watching TV together — Edward, me and the kitten. When it's time for bed, he carries Daisy and her bed into the bathroom, getting her set up for the night, then closes the door. Once she's proven to be litter box trained, she can have the run of the apartment at night.

* * *

When I get home from class on Friday, it's to an empty apartment. Edward texted me earlier to tell me he'd gotten Daisy an appointment with a vet just 15 minutes after the end of his shrink appointment, so he planned to take her with him to see Dr. Banner. _That_ should be fun.

I lie down on the couch to read, and it's mid-afternoon when they return. He sets the carrier down on the kitchen table, carefully lifting the tiny kitten from her prison and cuddling her close.

"So…?" I ask, sitting up.

He comes to sit beside me and I smile as Daisy places her front paws on his shoulder, snuggling up to him. She clearly adores Edward — of course, who wouldn't?

"The vet thinks she's about 12 weeks old. Everything checked out ok, and she got her first round of vaccinations. She has to go back for boosters in three weeks and he thinks she can be spayed after the first of the year."

"Poor little thing." I pet her soft back, just thinking about what she'll have to go through. "How'd it go at Dr. Banner's?"

"Once I let her out of her carrier, she was fine. She took a nap curled up on me for the whole session. Dr. Banner thinks she'll be good for me," he says quietly.

"I think she will too," I smile. He's so incredibly sweet with this little kitten; I think she's stolen his heart much faster than I did. Daisy can keep him from feeling lonely when I'm in class… and give _him_ the chance to be the caretaker for once.

I realize then that he's given me the perfect opening to ask something that's been on my mind for a while. "What, um, what does Dr. Banner think of me? Is he against you dating anyone the way that Jenks was?"

"No, he's cool with it," he assures me. "He understands that we love each other. Basically he thinks that since I lost 18 years of my life, I should do whatever I want to do with my life now. He wants me to push my limits, but he hasn't set any goals for me."

"Do you think we could ever have a joint session?" I ask cautiously. "Not one where you have to talk about the past, but where we could talk about the present?"

Edward stares at me, biting his lip. Daisy meows for attention and he smiles, turning back to her and scratching under her chin.

"I'll think about it, Bella," he finally answers. "But that's all I can promise."

* * *

By Thanksgiving the following week, Daisy is an integrated part of the family. She even spends the night sleeping on our bed now, curled up against Edward's leg or stomach. She isn't big enough to jump up onto the bed on her own yet, but her plaintive meows from the floor always convince him to lift her up there… once he's done with me, of course.

We've packed up a few of Daisy's things so we can take her to Thanksgiving dinner at the Cullens'; Edward didn't want to leave her alone in the apartment for so many hours. He's been keeping his workouts and jogs shorter, too.

Both of his parents go crazy for their new grand-kitty when he lets Daisy out of her carrier. I half expected her to run around like, well, like a _kitten_, checking out every square inch of their house, but she sticks close to wherever Edward is while I help Esme finish cooking dinner.

When we sit down at the table, we all join hands and Carlisle recites a list of everything he's thankful for over this past year.

"… And finally, I'm most thankful that after 18 long years, we've got our son back at the table with us on this day of giving thanks. He's healthy and he's happy and he's found someone that he loves — that's all we ever could've wanted."

Esme sniffles, squeezing Edward's hand, and I have to try hard to keep from shedding a tear myself. "Did you want to say anything, Edward?" his mother asks.

I turn to look at him, at his bowed head. "I'm thankful that you never gave up on me," he says, sounding choked up. "And that I've got the most loving and patient girlfriend in the world. That's it." He furtively wipes his eye, and I lean over to kiss him as Esme begins passing the dishes around.

As we eat, Daisy nudges against Edward's leg, and he relents, getting up to set a bowl of kitten chow on the floor near his chair. She scarfs it down in record time, then cries for attention.

Once Edward is mostly finished, he picks her up, setting her on his lap. Instead of curling up as she usually does, she rests her paws on the edge of the table, trying to sniff his plate, but he shoves it back a few inches until it's out of her small reach. She meows loudly in displeasure.

"Ok, ok," he laughs, putting a tiny piece of gravy-covered turkey on his palm. He offers it to her and she eats it right up, licking at his palm with her sandpaper tongue. "You like gravy, huh?"

Smiling, he scrapes up the remains of the mashed potatoes on his plate with a spoon, then dumps that on his palm. Daisy happily licks it up then lifts her head, and I giggle as she licks around her mouth to clean up.

Esme just shakes her head with a smile. "No matter how many times I told him to stop feeding Duke table scraps, he wouldn't listen."

"Probably why that cat was always overweight," Carlisle adds with a chuckle.

"He was big boned," Edward protests.

"No, he was fat, dear," Esme laughs.

As Edward gets up from the table, he sets Daisy back on the floor and she immediately starts whining. "Just a minute… I need to wash my hands," he tells her, as if she can understand English.

"That cat may turn out to be the best thing that's ever happened to him," Esme smiles once he's disappeared down the hallway. "Besides you, of course," she adds with a wink.

* * *

My last day of classes for the Fall semester is December 9. I spend much of my time for the next several days sitting at the kitchen table, surrounded by books as I study for next week's final exams.

Daytime highs are still nice here, in the 60s or 70s, so Edward has started taking Daisy out onto the balcony with him while he smokes. She's big enough now that he's not afraid she'll get too cold. He's hoping that by the time she gets brave enough to think about jumping off the balcony, she'll be too big to fit through the wooden slats. I'm not so sure about that.

The kitten really does seem to be good for him. If nothing else, she seems to be desensitizing him to unexpected touches. She regularly rubs up against his leg while he sits at the table, or she brushes him with her tail. And now that she's able to jump up onto the couch, she's been known to pounce on us while we watch TV together.

Maybe it's just that he subconsciously knows that it's not a human's touch, or maybe he really is starting to become desensitized. I hope it's the latter, for Edward's sake. I can't imagine what he goes through on a daily basis, especially when he's out in public.

Right now, the two of them are taking a nap on the couch while I study. They're so freakin' cute together that I sneak into the living room to snap a photo. Edward is holding Daisy to his chest and the thought strikes me that maybe, just maybe, this tiny calico kitten could convince him to one day change his mind about becoming a father to a human baby.

I mean, I wasn't lying to Edward when I told him I'd never dreamed of having children of my own. Right now, I firmly believe that I'll be ok if we never do. Even if I change my mind one day, faced with a choice between Edward and a baby, I can't see myself ever _not_ choosing Edward. But what if I don't have to make that choice? What if he realizes one day just how much love he has to give?

* * *

**A/N:** Congrats to **Duvi**, who was the only reviewer to guess that the new character was a pet! Back when they first got to Tucson, three readers suggested a dog for Edward.

This is Daisy: i71 dot photobucket dot com/albums/i135/Thecommitted/Links/Daisy_front dot jpg

i71 dot photobucket dot com/albums/i135/Thecommitted/Links/Daisy_side dot jpg

Aren't Edward and Daisy the cutest pair? Do you think she'll be good for him? And what about Bella's thought that a kitten may help convince him to want children one day?

Next update on **Friday**.


	27. The Holidays, Pt 1

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! It's now passed _Reason For Living_ in total number of reviews, even though that story is complete, has more chapters and nearly 1,000 more Favorites.

I'm glad you all liked Daisy! Seems like my readers are all cat people.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 27 — The Holidays, Pt 1_

It's important to Carlisle and Esme that they spend this Christmas with their son, so I put my mother off, promising to visit on the 26th, since it'll be a weekend. Of course, that means finally coming clean with her that I have a boyfriend, and that we'll be spending Christmas with _his_ family. I give her next to no information about him, beyond his first name.

Forks doesn't usually get a lot of snow, but it's so strange to have high temperatures in the 60s in l ate December. It almost doesn't feel like Christmas.

Edward and I get a wreath for our front door, a strand of lights for the balcony, and three stockings to hang over the sliding glass door — since we have no mantle. We don't get a Christmas tree; having breakable ornaments near a four-month-old kitten just _sounds_ like a bad idea. We have to leave our wrapped gifts up on the dresser, which is still too high for Daisy to jump onto.

We spend the afternoon of Christmas Eve with Edward's parents, shopping and visiting some of the Christmas displays around town, then have dinner together at a nice restaurant. After dinner we go back to our apartment to retrieve our overnight bags, plus Daisy and some of her things, to spend the night at the Cullens'. They want to have Christmas morning with their son, and it seems like such a simple thing to do to make them happy.

The four of us spend the evening watching the best of the Christmas movies that came out while Edward was in prison — _Elf_ and _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ — before moving on to some of the classics like _Home Alone_ or _Christmas Vacation_. We also spend plenty of time keeping Daisy away from their Christmas tree and the colorful wrapped gifts — she thinks ribbons are cat toys.

As we get settled in their guest room for the night, Daisy demands to sleep with us, though she does agree to curl up by our feet so that I can take my rightful place in Edward's arms. I know he brought a present with my name on it with us, but honestly, being with him like this is really the only gift I need.

In the morning, we get up far too early for my taste, coming downstairs in our PJs and robes for breakfast of Esme's Belgian waffles. Daisy gets to lick some maple syrup off Edward's pinky.

Once we're all showered and dressed, I help Esme get our big Christmas dinner started, making up side dishes and chocolate cream pie to go with the traditional Christmas ham.

And then while the ham is baking, it's time for gifts.

The Cullens get me a gorgeous Kitchen Aid stand mixer. Edward must have told them our apartment didn't have one — that's probably a hint for me to bake him more cookies.

Edward looks confused when I explain that his gift from me is a Fitbit, so he can track his workouts. New technology still escapes him sometimes. His eyes light up when I whisper in his ear that I have another gift for him once we get home.

As I open the large box I saw him grab from our apartment, I'm shocked to pull out my prom dress.

"Umm…"

"Check out the bottom," he says, and I stand up, holding the dress up to my chest. It's shorter now, with an asymmetrical hemline covering up the tear I got in it, when I fell walking home from the after-prom party.

Edward smiles at me. "You wanted to go out on New Year's Eve; now you have something to wear."

"Did you buy that for her, Edward?" Esme asks. "What a pretty dress."

"No, it was her prom dress," he replies. "But it got torn at the bottom. I had a seamstress fix it."

He hands me another package and my brow furrows. The box the dress was in was the only package I didn't recognize — I wrapped the gifts for his parents — so I can't imagine where this one came from.

I tear open the wrapping paper, pulling out the absolutely gorgeous Native American beaded purse that I'd been eyeing yesterday afternoon.

"When did you get this?" I accuse.

"When you thought I'd just walked away to smoke," he grins.

"Thank you!" I throw my arms around his neck, kissing him as long as I dare in front of his parents.

Daisy of course makes out like a bandit, with her very own cat condo from Carlisle and Esme, and a bag full of Christmas-themed toys from us — stuffed toys, balls that rattle and these little round puffs of tinsel. She especially likes those.

She also likes pouncing on the wrapping paper, so we probably could've saved our money.

By the time the ham is ready, Daisy has completely worn herself out and is curled up in a ball on Edward's lap as he watches the _Christmas Story_ marathon on TV. He gently moves her to one of his mother's soft throw pillows — she'll probably want to strangle him once she sees the fur that'll surely be left behind — so he can get up to join us at the table.

We say goodbye after the mid-afternoon meal, ready to spend some time alone before tomorrow's undoubtedly stressful trip to Phoenix.

"So where's my other present?" Edward asks with a grin pretty much as soon as we're inside the door of our apartment.

While he lets Daisy out of her carrier, I retrieve the box from under the bed and bring it out to where he's now seated on the couch, biting my lip as he opens it. I really, really hope he likes it.

His mouth drops open as he peels back the tissue paper, revealing the sexy midnight blue nightie and matching thong from Victoria's Secret. I'm usually one for comfort in my PJs — and my bras and panties — but when Alice dragged me with her to the mall on Black Friday, I thought Edward might appreciate something sexier.

He holds up the scrap of lace, but I can't tell from his expression what he's thinking. Finally, I can't take the suspense of not knowing anymore.

"What do you think?" I ask nervously.

"Model it for me?"

"It's only like 5:30," I laugh.

"So?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

Rolling my eyes, I take the box back into the bedroom and hurriedly change into the thong and nightie. I think I look pretty good in it; I just hope Edward thinks so. I don't want to look like a little girl playing dress-up.

When I step into the living room, I watch him carefully. His eyes widen, then he motions with his finger for me to turn around.

"Fuck, baby, you are so sexy."

"You think so?" I ask, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Are you serious right now?" he asks, looking adorably confused. I nod and he motions me closer, then tugs me down to straddle his lap. "Why would you question that, Bella?"

"I… I know you love me."

"Then there's no problem," he interrupts, and I glare at him.

"I've always thought of myself as just a normal, average girl. And sometimes… sometimes I wonder if you'd find _any_ girl attractive after being in prison for so long."

"Baby, where is this coming from?" he asks, tipping my chin up so I'm forced to look him in the eye. "I think you're beautiful, I've told you that. I can't wait to see you wearing your prom dress on Thursday night. You could have any man you want, and I'm so honored that you've chosen me.

"And as for me, no, I definitely would _not_ want just any girl. From the moment you waltzed over to me and introduced yourself, it's only been you."

"Please," I scoff. "I was probably the first female you saw after you got out of prison."

"Not true," he shakes his head. "It's a long drive from the prison to Forks. I saw plenty of women when we stopped along the way." He rolls his eyes, then brings his hands up to brush them along my sides. "How could you doubt this, baby?"

"I _don't_ doubt that you love me and want to be with me. I just… sometimes I wonder how much of your attraction to me is really for _me_. I'm nothing special." Especially compared to Rose or some of the other girls we've seen hanging out by the pool.

"It's _all_ for you. Do I have to show you how special you are? Because I'd be happy to. In fact, it might be a good way to work off all the calories Mom fed us today," he grins.

"I'm just being silly…"

"No… thank you for being honest with me. If I need to tell you more often how beautiful and sexy you are, I will. Don't ever doubt that it's _you_ I want."

"So… bed?"

I squeal when Edward suddenly stands up, holding me close as he walks down the hallway to the bedroom. I guess that's a _yes, ma'am_.

He deposits me on the end of the bed, remaining standing as he stares at me. "Lie back," he says quietly and I eagerly obey.

Crawling over me, he leans down, kissing me softly. "I love you, Bella. You're so beautiful — inside and out." I smile involuntarily at his words.

"I love your big brown eyes. I love your nose," he whispers, kissing the tip and making my face heat up. "I love your blush." He kisses both of my cheeks.

"I love your mouth." He kisses me deeply and I bring my arms around him, holding him to me. When he finally lets me go, he gently removes my arms, leaving them at my sides.

"I love your neck." He sucks on it before I lightly slap his shoulder, stopping him before he can give me a hickey the day before we visit my mother.

Edward kisses his way down the valley between my breasts, then scoots down toward the end of the bed. "I love your feet," he says, pressing his thumbs into the instep of my left foot. "Except when they're freezing and you try to warm them up on me," he chuckles. I moan in pleasure when he does the same for my right foot.

"I love every inch of your legs," he says, brushing his hands up my calves onto my thighs. He pushes my nightie higher and I sit up, helping him to remove it. When he starts to toss it onto the floor, I reach my hand out to stop him.

"Daisy will rip that to shreds."

"Good point," he chuckles, leaving it on the corner of the bed, before helping me to lie back.

"It goes without saying that I love your tits," he smiles, sucking on my left nipple until it's hard and wanting. He switches sides, then massages both breasts in his hands, brushing his thumbs over my nipples. Every touch sends a fresh pang of desire throughout my body.

"I love your flat stomach." He kisses his way down, circling my navel with his tongue. "You should get this pierced, like Alice has."

"What were you doing looking at Alice's belly button?" I accuse.

"It was pretty hard to miss, glittering in the sun," he chuckles.

Edward lightly brushes his hands along my sides. "I love your tiny waist, and the flare of your hips." He drags his fingertips down to my thighs, then back up, hooking them under the sides of my thong.

Finally, he pulls it down and off, encouraging me to open my legs. As he settles himself between them, he places one soft kiss on my clit, spreading my lower lips with his thumbs. He's got me so worked up that my entire body is tingling in anticipation.

He licks me lightly, with just the tip of his tongue, and I nearly shoot up off the bed. Looking up at me, he smiles. "Stay still or I'll stop," he threatens.

I grasp the sheets with both hands, trying to remain still as he shows me with his tongue just how much he loves me. He slowly slides first one, and then a second finger in and out, adding to the sensations.

"Come on, baby," he encourages. His tongue flicks endlessly at my clit until I'm screaming out his name.

Edward brings me down slowly then sits up, hurriedly removing his clothes. I've barely recovered from my orgasm when he stretches out on top of me, grasping his cock and placing it at my entrance.

I moan quietly as he pushes inside, kissing me briefly once he's fully sheathed inside me. And then he wraps his arms around me, rolling us over until I'm on top. Taking both of my hands in his, he pushes back, encouraging me to sit up.

I stare down at him, and he smiles, nodding at me. It takes me a moment to realize that he's not moving — he's trying to tell me that _I_ can lead. When I realize he's letting me be in control, I have to hold back my tears. This display of trust is the best Christmas present he could give me.

"I love you," I whisper, also happy _for him_ that he's comfortable enough to try this.

And then I start to move. I keep my hands braced in his, experimenting a bit to see what will bring me the most pleasure. But really, it's _all_ good.

Edward never takes his eyes off me, but I don't feel self-conscious at all. This is just us, and we belong together like this.

When he sits up suddenly, I expect him to grab my hips, but instead, he carefully cradles my face in his hands, then crashes his lips to mine. My screams are muffled against his mouth as we both come together. Slowing my movements, I open my eyes, staring into his green ones.

He kisses me softly then pulls back. "Any more doubts about how much I want you?" he asks quietly.

"None," I whisper.

Smiling, Edward lays us back down, and I roll off of him, laying my head on his chest. He pulls the sheet up, covering us.

"Meow!" Giggling, I roll to my other side, peering over the edge of the bed. Daisy is standing on her back legs, her claws digging into the sheets as she tries to climb up onto the bed. I reach down and scoop her up, bringing her to lie between us.

* * *

The next afternoon, we drop Daisy off with Edward's parents before hitting the road to Phoenix. Since Mom is allergic to cats, she can't come with us. They offered to keep her last night too, but Edward was afraid that if we left her with them for two straight nights, she'd miss him too much and tear up their house. I think he's really afraid he's going to miss _her_.

As he drives, Edward and I go over our stories — what we're going to tell Mom and Phil about how we met… and why Edward doesn't have a job. That might almost be a bigger issue than his age, which I plan to be cagey about. I doubt she'll ask him that directly, but she's bound to ask _me_ questions whenever he's out of earshot, smoking. And she won't be as easily appeased as Alice.

It's not that I think I need my mom's approval, because I don't. She hasn't been a real mom to me in 17 years. I just don't want to argue right now in this season of peace and love and giving.

It's probably unavoidable though.

We stop about a block before reaching their large suburban home so Edward can smoke. It may be awhile until he gets another opportunity, if he doesn't want to excuse himself during our conversation.

After we've pulled into the driveway, he retrieves our overnight bags from the trunk. I ring the doorbell, crossing my fingers that this goes well.

* * *

**A/N:** Yes, I stopped it there on a cliffie. How do you think Renee is going to react to Edward?

What did you all think of their Christmas and the gifts they exchanged? Even Daisy got some of her own. My own cat loves those little tinsel balls. I have to rescue them from underneath furniture every few days, I swear.

Bella is always the strong one, but she finally cracked a bit with a bout of insecurity. Edward set her straight though. Hooray for Edward making some progress sexually by letting Bella be in control!

Next update on **Tuesday** for Pt 2. I'll be in Chicago from Sunday until Tuesday night, but I'll try to update on my phone. If I can't, it'll be about 12 hours late.


	28. The Holidays, Pt 2

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! Gonna break 3,000 reviews! I love having the chance to interact with all of you.

Everyone is anxious to see Renee's reaction, so let's get to it!

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 28 — The Holidays, Pt 2_

My mother throws open the door, hugging me like she hasn't seen me in a year, when it's only been about six weeks.

When she finally steps back, she notices Edward behind me, and I don't miss the way her eyes widen slightly. I really hope that's not a sign that she recognizes him.

"Mom, this is my boyfriend, Edward," I introduce him, purposely leaving off his last name.

"Hello, Mrs. Dwyer," he greets her quietly, stepping forward. "It's nice to meet you."

"Edward," she nods, clearing her throat as she shakes his outstretched hand. "Please come in." She calls out to Phil and he appears within seconds, eyeing Edward up and down. "Phil, this is Bella's boyfriend, Edward."

As the two men shake hands, I really hope Phil isn't one of those guys who tries to be tough and intimidating when he meets another man — especially his stepdaughter's first boyfriend.

"I apologize," my mom begins, "But we only have one of our three spare bedrooms set up as a guest room; the other two are my craft room and Phil's office. I hope you'll be comfortable on the couch; Phil certainly enjoys taking naps there."

I glance at Edward, noticing his face pale. "Mom." I wait until she looks at me before continuing. "We're all adults here. Edward and I are perfectly capable of sharing your guest room."

"But—"

"Mom," I interrupt. "We can always drive back to Tucson after dinner."

"All right," she sighs. "Just… don't do anything you wouldn't want to overhear us doing."

Rolling my eyes, I lead Edward through the large ranch-style home to the guest bedroom. He leaves our bags next to the bed, then walks over to me.

"Thank you," he whispers, pecking my lips. "I couldn't… there's just no way… In a house with stran-strangers. I know I wouldn't get any sleep out in the open."

I wind my arms around his neck, kissing him again. "I can't sleep without you either." I was exhausted after those three nights he spent with his parents when my mom was visiting last month.

I retrieve the gifts for Mom and Phil from my suitcase, then lead Edward back to the living room, where they're seated on the loveseat. I set the gifts on the coffee table for now, taking a seat next to Edward on the couch.

"So tell me, how did you two meet?" Mom asks, sitting forward attentively.

"On the bus," I lie, rubbing my thumb over the back of Edward's hand.

"What do you do for a living, Edward?" Phil asks.

"I'm between jobs right now," he answers quietly. "I, um, needed a change." I almost want to laugh at the understatement.

I don't miss the way my mother frowns at the fact that Edward is unemployed, but she's not quite rude enough to ask about his money situation in front of him.

"What's your degree in?" Phil asks.

"I don't have one. College wasn't really in the cards for me."

I have my retort ready in case either one of them pushes the issue. I know for a fact that Phil dropped out of college after two years when he was drafted by the Diamondbacks. And my mother never went to college, even after the divorce. Instead she worked in administrative positions until her current job as personal assistant to someone in the Diamondbacks' front office — which is how she met Phil.

"I see," my mother frowns, but thankfully doesn't push it.

"You look like you're in good shape, Edward," Phil notes. "Do you work out?"

"Yes," he answers. "I jog and work out pretty much every day."

"Are you into playing sports at all?"

"I played basketball and ran track in high school, but not so much anymore. I started working out with weights when I was 21."

I cringe a little at his mention of an age that's older than I am currently, and that still obviously occurred years ago.

Phil asks Edward about specific machines and I have to admit to zoning out a bit. None of it means anything to me, but Edward seems to understand what he's talking about, and Phil seems to have accepted my boyfriend. That's really all that matters.

Eventually the conversation shifts to how my first semester of college has gone. I'm more than happy to talk about my classes and the new friends I've made and take the pressure off Edward.

My mother has made reservations for an early dinner at Phil's favorite steakhouse, so we wind up our conversation and drive downtown. Phil valet parks his Expedition, and Edward stops me before we walk in the door of the restaurant.

"I need to smoke," he whispers. "Meet you inside." I nod, following my parents. He's actually done _really_ well at waiting this long.

"Table for three?" the hostess asks.

"Four," my mother corrects, giving the hostess their name, then turns around. "Where's Edward?"

"He'll be right in. He, ah, went to smoke." I don't miss her disapproving look as we follow the hostess to our — yay! — booth.

"When a tall man with reddish-brown hair comes in, could you send him our way?" I ask her before she walks away.

"He's a _smoker_, Isabella?" my mother sniffs once the hostess has disappeared.

"Yes," I admit. He's actually cut back a lot, and I try not to bug him about quitting.

"I'm surprised that someone who's into jogging and working out would smoke," Phil says. "Seems counterproductive." I don't mention that Edward doesn't work out for his _physical_ health — at least he's never thrown that out as a reason.

"How old is Edward?" my mother finally asks the million-dollar question.

"Really, Mom? You're going to make a big deal of Edward's age when Phil is eight years younger than you?"

"That man is more than eight years older than you," she retorts.

"His age is irrelevant. I love him, Mom," I confess softly. "He's everything to me."

"He doesn't even have a job!" she protests.

"He will… once he figures out what he really wants to do."

"He should've figured that out by now," she mutters.

"Mother," I warn.

She looks at me, really looks at me, then finally nods. "Just… be safe. I'm not ready to be a grandmother before I'm 40."

Our waiter shows up then to take our drink orders. I get my standard Diet Coke while both Mom and Phil order cocktails. "What do you think Edward would like, Bella?" Phil asks.

"He likes beer — Heineken, I think."

Edward shows up about 20 seconds later, sliding into the booth next to me. I immediately make a grab for his right hand, squeezing it, while he opens his menu with the other.

Once we've placed our orders, I ask Phil how this season's team is looking. I really don't follow baseball much, though with Charlie for a father, I do know the rules of the game.

After answering me, Phil asks Edward what he thinks of the team's 2015 season, and I silently pray that last night's "naked studying" will pay off and he can pass for an Arizona native. Edward explained to me once that he did have a small radio in his cell, so he is somewhat familiar with the last 18 years of sports — championship teams and the big-name players — though obviously he listened to Mariners games. Apparently the Diamondbacks didn't even enter the league until the year after he went to prison.

Our meals — and desserts — are delicious, and once we're all completely stuffed, we drive around looking at Christmas lights before heading home. Edward once again stays outside to smoke.

While he's outside, Phil gets a bottle of wine from their wine cellar, pouring four glasses.

"You never did answer the question when I asked how old Edward is," my mother notes.

"It doesn't matter how old he is. I don't care at all about his age."

"No offense to you, sweetheart, but there's usually only one thing that an older man wants when he dates someone your age."

"Mom!"

Edward chooses that moment to walk in the door, and from the way his eyes dart back and forth between us, he clearly notices the tension in the room.

"Did I miss something?" he asks, taking his seat beside me.

"My daughter was just refusing to tell me how old you are," Mom sniffs, seemingly oblivious to her earlier rude comment.

"I'm 37, Mrs. Dwyer." I turn my head quickly to stare at Edward. I thought we'd agreed not to tell them.

Mom gasps. "That's only two years younger than I am! What exactly are your intentions with my 19-year-old daughter?"

"I love your daughter. I hope to spend the rest of my life with her," he says softly, making me all swoony.

"But you couldn't haven't been dating for more than four months!" she protests.

"We've been dating long enough for me to know how special your daughter is, Mrs. Dwyer. She's one of a kind." He wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in close and kissing my temple. _Damn_, I wish I could get him alone right now.

That seems to shut her up, as she clears her throat, picking up her glass of wine. Edward grabs a glass for me first, before getting his own. I encourage Mom and Phil to open their gifts, and then my mother gets up to get a package for me out of their bedroom.

"I thought we'd agreed no gifts other than dinner?"

"Oh, I just couldn't resist," Mom replies.

I open the box, pulling out a short-sleeved tan sweater that looks to be hand knitted. "This is really pretty, Mom."

"I know, isn't it? It's made of alpaca and it's so soft. I really wanted it for myself, but it's a cropped sweater and just didn't look right on a 39-year-old woman." I chuckle lightly; my mother is in great shape so I'm sure it couldn't have looked that bad.

It's always been a tradition when visiting my mother for Christmas that we would watch _Charlie Brown_, _Rudolph_,_ Frosty the Snowman_ and all of the other Christmas classics. The four of us sit and watch the DVDs together until we decide to call it a night.

"Be right back," Edward whispers, slipping outside to smoke before we head to bed.

"Remember what I said, Isabella," my mother warns, nodding toward the bedrooms.

"I'm not going to have sex with my boyfriend in your guest bedroom," I reply, rolling my eyes.

Once we're ready for bed, Edward lies down facing me, wrapping me up tightly in his arms. "I'm sorry I told your mother the truth about my age," he whispers. "I just didn't want to see you two fighting because you refused to tell her."

"She's not being fair about you," I growl.

"It's all right, Bella," he sighs. "I know that on paper, I don't exactly look like the type of guy that a mother would be happy to see with her teenage daughter."

"But that's just because she doesn't have all of the facts."

"And if she did, she'd have other things to worry about." He makes a good point, but I still don't like it.

"Did you mean what you said earlier? About spending the rest of your life with me?" I ask quietly.

"Of course I did, baby! I'm yours for as long as you'll have me."

"Forever, Edward." I kiss him softly then snuggle in close as he squeezes me tightly.

* * *

I regain consciousness to Edward stroking his hand through my hair. "I'm gonna go for a run," he whispers. "I didn't want you to worry."

"Mmmkay," I mumble, still half asleep.

Once he's closed the bedroom door behind him, I roll over onto my back, yawning. I decide to go pee in the en suite bathroom, then brush my teeth. I could shower and get up for the day, since the sun has already risen, but instead I go back to bed.

Sometime later I hear Edward return and head into the bathroom. The sound of the shower turning on seems to wake me up a bit. He's in there taking his clothes off; soon he'll be naked. I love naked, sweaty Edward after a run, and I picture him in my mind. I also picture mostly naked, wet Edward as he climbs out of the pool.

I've never actually seen naked, wet Edward in the shower. Our bathroom at home just has a standard tub/shower combination, like at my dad's house. It's not really big enough for two; only one person could stand under the water at a time.

Following our last final exam, Alice and I went back to her apartment with a handful of classmates. After a couple of beers, she was singing the praises of shower sex. The apartment she shares with Jasper has only a shower, no tub, but apparently it's large enough for both of them.

Just like the shower here.

I sit up with a start. I only promised Mom no sex in the guest bedroom; I didn't say anything about the bathroom.

Shedding my pajamas, I walk into the bathroom, looking longingly at what I can see of Edward's skin behind the frosted glass door. Licking my lips, I open the door and—

Edward spins around, flattening his back against the wall of the shower. He squeezes his eyes closed, his hands coming up to cover his face.

_Fuck!_ I am the dumbest human being on the planet. Of course he couldn't hear me coming over the sound of the water running. I let my hormones override my common sense — again.

"Edward?" I call urgently. I wrap my hands around his wrists, gently pulling his hands away from his face. "Open your eyes, Edward. It's me, Bella."

His eyes blink open slowly and I smile at him. "There you go… it's just me."

He shocks me by taking a small step forward and pulling me close, wrapping his arms around me and leaning his forehead on my shoulder. I slowly bring my hands up, rubbing up and down his back as he calms down.

"It's just me… I'm so sorry. I didn't even think about the fact that I'd startle you."

As he clings to me, I start to wonder if maybe there's more to it than just startling him when the door opened. I don't want to even think about that right now though.

Edward finally loosens his tight hold on me, lifting his head. "Do you want me to leave you alone?" I ask quietly.

He shakes his head and I breathe a sigh of relief. He's not shutting me out this time.

I move away, then start to bend down to pick up the shower poof that he dropped. He whimpers and I hold my hand up. "Just picking this up."

I stand back up, holding it out to him. "Were you finished washing up?"

At his nod, I squeeze some body wash onto it, quickly washing myself, while Edward stands motionless. He didn't make me leave, but he's obviously not ok.

"Did you wash your hair yet?" I ask. He shakes his head so I grab his bottle of shampoo and squeeze some onto my palm. I motion for him to sit on the small seat then stand between his legs while I massage the shampoo into his hair. He stands to rinse when I'm finished, and I grab my own shampoo bottle that I'd put in here last night, hurriedly washing my own hair.

"Done?" Edward asks — the first word he's spoken.

"I still need to put in conditioner." I take care of that as quickly as I can, then motion for him to shut the water off.

We dry off with two of Mom's fluffy towels, then I take Edward's hand, leading him into the bedroom — still completely naked. I lie back on the bed, pulling him on top of me and going straight for his lips.

Fuck my mom's request about no sex — Edward needs me.

He kisses me back almost desperately but stops before going any further, sighing as he flops onto his back next to me.

"We don't have to stop; we just need to be quiet so Mom and Phil don't hear us."

"We shouldn't," he replies softly. "Dr. Banner…"

"Wants you to find a healthier way to get out of the past?" I finish, rolling onto my side to face him.

Edward gives me a small smile. "He didn't put it quite that way. But he did point out that if something happens and you're not nearby, I'd need to find a different way to deal, so I need to stop relying on sex."

"You don't need to start now… if you don't want to."

"I'll be ok," he replies shakily.

I stare at him for a few moments. "There's more to it than just the fact that I surprised you, right?" I ask cautiously.

He lets out a heavy breath, then turns onto his side to face me. "Yes," he whispers, confirming my fears. "Please don't ask for more."

I reach my hand out, combing it gently through his wet hair. "I love you," I remind him, and he leans forward, kissing me sweetly, then wraps his arms around me.

We snuggle together quietly for a few minutes before Edward groans, pulling away. "Go put some clothes on before you make me change my mind."

I'm smirking as I crawl off the bed.

* * *

**A/N:** A big admission there at the end from Edward! Poor Bella, she could surprise pretty much any other guy in the shower and things would've gone a lot differently.

So what did you think of Renee's reaction? It wasn't as bad as it could've been. She didn't recognize Edward, but she wasn't happy about her teenage daughter dating a 37-year-old, unemployed man. No, Bella did _not_ tell her that she and Edward are living together. One shock at a time.

Next update on **Friday**. It'll be from my phone again while I'm visiting my hometown for a long weekend. I won't be home until Sunday evening to reply to reviews.


	29. The Club

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! Chicago was good, other than having to drive there on Sunday after I had two flights cancelled on me.

Most of you thought Renee's reaction to Edward was pretty understandable, from a mom's point of view. And you're all proud of Edward for learning how to deal with the aftermath of his panic attacks.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 29 — The Club_

After breakfast out with my mom and Phil — Renee does not cook — Edward and I head back to Tucson, stopping to pick up Daisy on the way to our apartment. Though his mom says Daisy was well-behaved, I'm not so sure that's true. She puts up such a fuss at being put in her carrier — and away from Edward — that we finally give up and let her travel on his lap while I drive.

Early Monday evening, Edward and I are on the floor teasing our kitten with a feather on a stick when the doorbell rings. I get up to answer it and Fernando steps inside.

"Where is she?" he demands.

"Who?"

"There!" He points at Daisy. "Come here, girl!" He bends over, slapping his thighs with his hands.

"Cats don't come when you call them," Edward laughs.

To my surprise, she _does_ come running, and Fernando picks her up, cuddling her close as he rains kisses on her sweet face.

"Did you just come over here to meet our kitten?" I giggle. Edward must've told him about Daisy at his last appointment.

Smiling, he shifts Daisy to one arm, reaching into the pocket of his red leather jacket. "I've got this for you," he says, placing a small card in my hand.

My eyes widen as I look over the Arizona ID. It looks amazingly genuine — except for the 1994 birthdate. Edward gets up and walks over to us, peering over my shoulder at the ID.

"Now like I said earlier, you probably won't need to show that," Fernando reiterates. "But it's good to have it, just in case." Riley's cousin owns the nightclub we'll be going to on New Year's Eve, so our gang of mostly college freshmen should be able to skip past the bouncers.

"Where did you get this?" Edward asks curiously.

"I know a guy," he winks. "Well, my friends know a guy. I may be in this country legally, but not everyone I know is."

"Well, thanks, I appreciate your getting this for me."

"No problem," he smiles. "I have a few more of these to drop off now. See you guys on Thursday night." He waves, turning to open the front door.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Edward asks.

Grinning, he turns back around, passing Daisy over to Edward. "Worth a shot."

* * *

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, I'm making spiral waves in my hair with my seldom-used curling iron. I'm wearing more make-up than I usually do, and my new pair of heels is staring at me from the floor. I certainly didn't put this much effort into my appearance on prom night.

My former prom dress still fits beautifully, and it's just perfect for dinner at a nice restaurant, followed by a night at a club. Edward has disappeared into the guest bedroom to get dressed, and I can't wait to see him. He went to his last haircut appointment alone, and Fernando apparently gave him a suggestion on where to shop for his New Year's Eve outfit.

When I've finally finished with my hair, I spray some perfume, strap on my new shoes, and walk out into the bedroom. I'm shocked to find Edward already waiting for me on the bed. When he stands up, my mouth drops open.

_Holy shit._

He's wearing black jeans and a green button-down shirt, untucked, which totally brings out the color of his eyes. His hair is a riotous mess as always, and he hasn't shaved today.

_I want him._

I launch myself at Edward, throwing my arms around his neck and kissing him frantically.

"Whoa, baby," he chuckles, gently pulling me off of him. "We have dinner reservations to get to."

I groan loudly, making him laugh. "Stand back so I can look at you." Though I do as he says, I feel more than a little self-conscious under his gaze.

"You are so beautiful," he whispers. "I love that dress on you."

"I picked it because it reminded me of the color of your hair," I confess.

"No, you didn't."

"I did," I insist, then take a step closer, winding my arms around his neck. "Now, are you sure we can't just stay here?"

Edward places his hands on my hips, leaning down to kiss me softly. "You're the one who wanted to go out."

"And now I'd rather stay in and spend the night in bed with my very hot boyfriend."

"How about we leave just after midnight?" he suggests.

"Deal," I agree, reaching up to wipe my lip gloss off of his mouth.

Edward drives us to Catalina Foothills, where we meet his parents for dinner at one of the nicest Italian restaurants in Tucson.

"So how did it go with your parents, Bella?" Carlisle asks after we've placed our orders. "Edward wouldn't tell me anything when I spoke to him earlier this week." He dodged his mother's questions when we picked up Daisy, too.

"As well as can be expected, I guess," I reply cautiously. "They weren't exactly thrilled with his age, or the fact that he doesn't have a job."

"You said once that you two weren't planning to tell your mother that Edward followed you from Forks?" Esme asks.

"Yeah," I nod. "I told her I met him on the bus here in Tucson, and she bought it. I never said his last name, and she didn't seem to recognize him at all."

"As a parent, I can't say that I approve of lying to her."

"It was my idea, Mom," Edward speaks up. "It was bad enough that Bella's dad judged me for my time in prison and warned her to stay away from me. I don't need that from her mom, too."

Esme frowns. "But then she'd understand about the job situation."

"I came here to get a fresh start. I don't want my past to follow me wherever I go. I don't want to be known as the guy who was on death row for 18 years for a crime he didn't commit."

"Edward," his father begins gently, "You're not going to be able to keep your past a secret from everyone."

"I know," he sighs. "I had to tell the clerk at the license bureau why I hadn't driven in so many years."

"And you'll have to explain to any potential employer why you're 37 years old with no previous work experience," Carlisle points out.

Edward frowns again and I reach over to squeeze his hand. I wonder if he's never thought of that before. It seems like there is no way he can completely avoid his past following him, wherever he goes.

* * *

We arrive at the nightclub in South Tucson belonging to Riley's cousin just before 9pm, so Riley and Fernando can get our group from school in the back door. Alice and Jasper went home to Scottsdale to stay with their families after finals, but they're back for tonight, and Alice hugs me tightly as soon as we walk up to the group.

"Oh my God, you look amazing!" she shrieks.

"Thanks," I chuckle. "So do you." She's wearing a black strapless mini dress that looks great on her, but I could never pull off.

Alec is also here with his new girlfriend, and Leah has brought her boyfriend, Sam, who lives on one of the nearby Indian reservations.

The door opens suddenly and Riley motions us inside. The streak in his hair is now dyed purple, to match the purple plaid shirt he's wearing with his black dress pants. I'd never have the guts to be that colorful, but it works for him.

Inside, we're lead to a large round booth, where Fernando is already waiting. It's in a VIP area — the selling point to convince Edward to come tonight — a bit away from the bar and main dance floor. Riley explains that we'll have a waitress assigned to our table.

I'm hoping to get Edward out on the dance floor for at least one slow dance, but if there are too many people for him, we can just hang out at the table. As we order our first round of drinks, we swap stories of our holidays. Alice laughs at the fact that my mom wanted Edward to sleep on the couch. Of course, she and Jasper have to sleep in separate _homes_ in Scottsdale.

"Oh, I love this song!" she yells suddenly. "Let's dance."

"Will you be all right alone?" I ask Edward.

"Sure." He smiles at me, and I peck his lips before standing up. I suppose he's not actually alone, since the guys all seem to be sitting this one out.

"Goddamn, Edward looks good with that scruff on his face," Alice says once we're out of his earshot.

"You have your own man."

"I know," she giggles. "I still have eyes though."

After several songs, my feet are barking at me, so I head back to the table, sitting sideways across Edward's lap. He wraps his arms around me, hugging me to him. "Having fun?" he asks.

"I'm gonna need a foot rub when we get home tonight."

"I might be able to arrange that," he smirks.

I order another drink when our waitress stops by, but Edward just gets a Coke this time.

"How many have you had?" I question. I know he didn't drink with dinner earlier, when his parents each had a cocktail.

"Just one beer," he shrugs. "I'll have another later. You can drink all you want though."

"It's a little mixed up that the one who's legal is the designated driver," I chuckle.

"It's not that," he sighs. "You know I don't like to lose control."

Trying to change the subject to something happier, I bring my hand up to brush against his scruffy chin. "This is a good look for you. You should skip shaving more often."

Edward gives me a strange look. "I gave your thighs beard burn the last time." I feel my face heat up, remembering that afternoon in the backseat of our car — totally worth it.

While I sip my drink, Edward plays with my hair, pulling out my curls and watching them snap back. I'm just happy to have him touching me, as always.

"You guys are too freakin' cute," Fernando gushes, taking a seat across from us.

"Thanks," I chuckle. "Where's Riley?"

"Talking to his cousin," he nods toward the bar. "He's trying to get a couple bottles of champagne for our table at midnight.

"You look great, Edward; good job with the outfit. And the scruff really works for you."

"That's what I said!" I agree, and Edward just rolls his eyes.

When a slow song comes on, I stand up, holding my hand out to Edward. "Dance with me?" I beg. I know he can dance, since we danced at the beach on our first picnic-slash-date.

He doesn't seem certain, but he finally nods his agreement, taking my hand and letting me lead him to the edge of the dance floor. He pulls me into his arms and I wrap mine around his neck, smiling up at him encouragingly.

As we dance, his hands drift down from my lower back to my ass. He gets this cheeky look on his face as he squeezes my ass cheeks. "Careful, Mister," I warn, though I'm only kidding. Edward can put his hands anywhere he wants.

When the music changes to a faster song, I refuse to let him go, hoping he'll remain on the dance floor with me. I'm really not much of a dancer, but I try to watch the other couples near us, moving my hips the way they do.

Suddenly Edward removes my arms from around his neck, spinning me around and wrapping his arms around my waist. I grind my ass back against him, then lift one of my arms again, holding on to the back of his neck.

Edward sucks on my earlobe, while his fingers draw small circles on my hips. I can feel him getting hard behind me. How much longer is it until midnight?

"Can I cut in?"

I hear the request just as Edward pushes me slightly, and I nearly stumble in my high heels. Turning around, I see Fernando staring up at Edward, an odd expression on his face.

"Sorry, man," he says, holding his hands up in surrender. "Didn't mean to startle you."

"Rain check?" I suggest quickly, then take Edward's hand and lead him back to our table. Again, I plant myself on his lap, immediately pulling his lips to mine.

He kisses me back for a minute, then gently removes my hands from his face, holding them in his and squeezing lightly. "I'm ok," he whispers.

"Did he touch you when he asked if he could cut in?"

He nods. "Sorry I almost knocked you over."

"It's fine," I assure him. "I caught myself in time."

"You can dance with him if you want."

"I have to take care of you first."

He smiles at me, touching his lips to mine briefly. I shift my position, realizing he's still at least partially hard. Looking around, no one seems to be paying attention to us, so I sneak my hand down between us, rubbing him over the denim.

"Bella," he warns, and I look up at him innocently.

"Taking care of you, remember?"

"I've been a teenage boy, and coming in your pants is _not_ fun." He removes my hand, kissing the back of it before setting it on the table.

When the music changes again, Fernando comes back to the group. "It's no fun dancing alone," he pouts. Looking to Edward for permission, he motions for me to get up.

I follow Fernando to the dance floor, then try not to look completely uncoordinated in my attempt to keep up with his moves. He really knows how to dance.

"So what's up with him?" he asks, nodding back toward the table.

"I-I told you he doesn't like to be touched."

"I didn't know it was so serious that a slap on the back…" He shakes his head. "I'm sorry. Though — you can touch him, obviously."

"I can," I reply slowly, "But I can't surprise him either."

"Does he have PTSD?"

"I…" I frown; I'm not certain that either of his therapists has given Edward a diagnosis like that, though from what little I know of the condition, I'd say yes. "I'm not sure," I finally answer.

"You're not going to tell me what happened to him, are you?" Fernando smiles, so I know he's not really mad.

"I don't even know all of it myself," I answer honestly.

Fernando and I dance to two songs before Riley shows up to reclaim his boyfriend. When I get back to the table, Alice and Jasper are sitting there talking to Edward. I take my rightful place on his lap and he hands me a fresh drink. "The waitress just came by."

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" I accuse.

"As I recall, you make a cute drunk," he grins.

"Oh God." I facepalm, remembering my inability to put the key in my dad's front door correctly.

While I sit and drink, I can't stop touching Edward — the hair on the back of his neck, his defined chest and abs. He doesn't seem to mind, since he's not stopping me.

As the clock ticks closer to midnight, the rest of the gang makes it back to the table. Riley's cousin shows up with two bottles of champagne and several glasses, pouring it for us.

"What should we drink to?" I ask Edward.

"To having a future."

* * *

**A/N:** Daisy was almost cat-napped, hehe! I don't think she'd go quietly.

So a fun night out, with only one slight misstep. Edward did well to dance with Bella with so many people nearby. Fernando is still trying to figure him out.

Bella's former prom dress (before alterations): i71 dot photobucket dot com/albums/i135/Thecommitted/Links/prom_dress dot jpg

I almost lost it since the store where I'd found the dress closed down, but I managed to Google and find the photos on someone's Pinterest.

Next update on **Tuesday**. Please note that I won't be home until Sunday evening to reply to reviews, but I'll get to them as soon as I can. I'll be having fun riding rollercoasters while you guys read this.


	30. The Visitor

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! I'm almost caught up on review replies now after getting home after 10pm on Sunday. The FF account section went down last night, or I would've finished.

We've got differing opinions on Fernando. Some readers love him and think he's a great original character, while others thing he's pushy, nosy and annoying.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 30 — The Visitor_

Just over a week after classes begin for the Spring semester on January 13th, I'm eating breakfast before my Spanish class when there's a knock at the door. Edward is out on the balcony smoking, so I get up to answer it.

"Hey, Emmett," I greet him.

"Hi, Bella. Is Edward around?"

"He's outside, hang on." I retrieve Edward, narrowly catching Daisy before she sneaks out our front door. "Oh no, you don't," I chastise her, earning an angry meow in response.

"What's up, Em?" Edward asks, reaching over to pet his kitten.

"I need a huge favor. Three of my guys called in sick today, thanks to Paul's birthday celebration last night."

"Hungover?" he chuckles.

"Hell no, I'd drag their hungover asses out of bed myself if that's what it was. Nah, apparently everyone who had the fish tacos came down with food poisoning.

"So, since I'm three guys short, I was wondering if you could help out for the day?" Emmett asks. "I'll pay you, of course."

Edward's eyes widen. "I, uh, don't know anything about landscaping."

"You don't need to," Emmett replies, shaking his head. "I just need a strong guy."

"I… I don't know. Bella needs to get to class, and I probably shouldn't leave Daisy alone so soon after her surgery."

"Edward," I laugh, "That was two and a half weeks ago. Daisy's _fine_, just missing a bit of fur on her belly. And besides, it's Thursday. I've only got the one class today, so I'll be home to hang out with her by 10:30."

"Looks like she told you," Emmett chuckles. "Come on, what do you say? I brought you one of our company shirts," he says, holding up the dark green fabric in his hand. "You just need an old pair of jeans that you don't mind getting dirty, and maybe some sturdy boots."

"You should do it, Edward," I encourage him. It's not a job exactly, but it's one day of working — a great test to see how he'll handle it.

"I-I guess." He doesn't look _sure_, but he takes the shirt from Emmett then heads back to our bedroom.

"Hey, cutie." Emmett scratches under Daisy's chin as I hold her. "What kind of surgery did she have?"

"She got spayed."

"Ah, at least you're a girl," he tells her. "You could be missing your balls right now."

I gasp when Edward walks out of the bedroom in the shirt with Emmett's company's logo and a faded pair of jeans I've never seen him wear before. They look a little bit… outdated. Are those from _high school_?

"Have a good day at work, dear." He smirks at me, pecking my lips as he walks out the door.

* * *

I don't know exactly how long Emmett's typical day is, but as it gets to be late afternoon, I start getting nervous about how today went. And poor Daisy is pacing around the apartment, trying to figure out where Edward is. I'm almost never home without him. Who says cats don't love and miss their owners?

When the front door finally opens, Daisy comes running, meowing her displeasure at Edward for being gone all day.

"I'm all dirty," he laughs, refusing to pick her up when she paws at his legs.

"How'd it go?" I ask, walking over to give him a quick kiss, while Daisy sniffs his boots.

"Fine," he shrugs. "We were planting a bunch of trees at some huge house. I helped carry them and hold them upright while someone else covered their roots in dirt."

"Do you think working for Emmett is something you might be able to handle?" I ask tentatively.

"I don't know, Bella," he sighs. "I mean, it was all right, working outside all day. I don't think half his team speaks English, but they were all nice enough.

"And now, I really need a shower."

He starts to walk away, but I reach out to stop him. "Just tell me one thing. Are those jeans older than me?"

"It's not like they're stone-washed!" he whines. "They're fucking Levi's."

I guess that's a yes then.

* * *

The following week, I get home from class and find Edward out on the balcony, with Daisy drinking from a water bowl at his feet. He's staring out at the desert and I feel like something is definitely going on.

"Edward?" I call softly and he whips his head around, giving me a small smile. "What's wrong?" I sit down on the chair beside him, patting my knee for Daisy to jump up.

"I had a visitor today."

My brow furrows. "A visitor?"

"A freelance journalist who's writing an article. Here," he pulls a business card out of his pocket, handing it to me. I read the name on it: Victoria Laurent.

"She actually came _here_ to talk to you?" I ask in shock.

Edward nods. "She couldn't manage to get my cell number, but she found my address."

"So… what kind of article?"

"About people like me — released after years in prison for crimes they didn't commit. Apparently there are still 20 states where no compensation is required for wrongful convictions, and she's working with the Innocence Project to advocate for that to change."

"Well, that's… admirable," I agree. "Did you talk to her?"

He shakes his head. "Not without speaking to you first. I believe in what she's trying to do, but… What if someone we know reads the article and realizes it's about me?"

"I rarely introduce you with your full name, but I see your point. Maybe you could make sure she doesn't mention where we live? There must be other people with the name Edward Cullen."

"Maybe," he agrees.

After dinner, Edward does call Ms. Laurent back, asking her to come over tomorrow afternoon, once I'm home from class. He's definitely nervous about the interview, afraid that she'll ask about his time in prison, though the focus of her article seems to be post-release.

* * *

When Ms. Laurent arrives the following afternoon, I get up to answer the door.

"Oh, hello, um, I was looking for Edward Cullen," the woman says, staring at me in confusion. She appears to be somewhere between Edward's age and mine — though closer to his — with long, wavy red hair. She's strikingly pretty, and I'm glad that Edward wanted me here for the interview — even if I do trust him implicitly.

"Come in," I greet her, standing back. "I'm Edward's girlfriend." _Sue me for staking my claim._

Her eyes widen, but she tries to cover her shock as she steps inside. I lead her into the living room, where Edward is seated on the couch and our spoiled kitten is getting a belly rub on his lap.

"Hello again, Edward," she greets him as I sit beside him. "Thank you for agreeing to speak with me. I really appreciate it."

"Hello," he gives her a tiny smile while she takes a seat on the loveseat, smoothing her black pencil skirt.

"Um, like I told you on the phone, I agree with what you're trying to do," Edward states. "I just want to reiterate that you can mention in your article that I've left my hometown, but not that I now live in Arizona. And I'd like to keep my girlfriend's name private, as well."

"Of course," she smiles at him, then turns to address me. "My name is Victoria Laurent; please call me Victoria. What is your name?"

"I'm Bella." I take Edward's free hand in mine, rubbing my thumb over the back of it in what I hope is a soothing gesture. I still remember how lost he looked in that interview he and his parents did the day after his release.

"So, for Bella's sake, let me explain our mission," Victoria begins. "About one-third of the people exonerated after proving their innocence have not been compensated for the injustice they suffered and the time they spent incarcerated. The Innocence Project has developed a series of recommendations for all states, beginning with the moral and legal obligation to provide monetary compensation.

"What we're hoping to do with my article is to highlight the difficulties exonerees face after they've been released from prison, as well as any differences between those who were not compensated, and those like Edward who were."

"That all sounds great," I agree. "I mean, these people had years of their lives stolen and are starting over from nothing."

"Exactly," she nods. "So are you ready to get down to business, Edward?" At his nod, she continues, "All right, let's start with the basics: You were released from the Washington State Penitentiary on April 13, 2015, after approximately 18 years in prison. Where did you go after your release?"

"Um, my parents brought me back to my hometown."

She nods, making a few notes. "When did you subsequently leave town?"

"About four months later."

"I won't mention your new location, but I'm curious… why Tucson?"

"I, um, followed Bella. She's attending college here."

Her eyes widen again, though whether it was intentional or not, Edward didn't mention that I'm a college _freshman_, so she likely still doesn't realize exactly how much younger than him I am.

"How did the two of you meet?"

Edward glances at me, so I decide to answer her — not directly addressing the fact that I lived in Forks full time when we met. "His parents lived next door to my dad's house."

"You're very lucky that you were able to have a home with your parents, Edward. Many people in your position are released to nothing — no home or transportation, and no family or friends.

"Did you make any moves to reenter society once you were back home?"

"No," he answers quietly. "It was just such a big change from being in prison; it was almost… disorienting. I didn't know how to handle anything, so I pretty much just stayed home and kept to myself."

"Now that you've been out of prison for nine months, have you taken any steps toward rebuilding your life? Do you have a job, or are you getting any kind of education or job skills training?"

"I got my driver's license once we got to Tucson, so I could have a little independence. But I don't have a job or anything, no," he replies.

"Would you like to?"

"One day, sure. I just… don't even know where to begin."

"You've never attended college, is that correct?" Victoria asks.

"Right," he nods. "I was planning to study pre-med at the University of Washington, but I was arrested about a week before classes started."

"Pre-med?" she repeats, raising an eyebrow. "So you had a bright future."

"Once upon a time," he replies softly. "But it's too late for that now, since it takes so long to become a doctor. Even the thought of getting a four-year degree, I just…" He trails off, shrugging.

"One of the things the Innocence Project is advocating for is that states assist with education and job skills after release," Victoria states.

"It's just not that simple though," he argues. "I _could_ take some classes — there's a community college not far from here — but I lived for so long thinking that I'd never have a future that it's kind of overwhelming. It's such a big leap from that to trying to decide what kind of career I want to have for the rest of my life." He shakes his head.

"I'm not even sure that I _want_ a job that requires higher education. I lived in a six-by-nine cell for 18 years; I don't want to work in a cubicle."

"That makes sense," she nods.

"I'm… grateful that I lived in a state that does provide compensation," Edward continues. "It's given me the means to take my time and get used to being a free man, and _then_ figure out what I want to do."

"How is that part going? Getting used to your freedom and rejoining society?"

"It's… going slowly, I guess. I don't know what I'd do without Bella's support." He smiles at me, and I scoot closer, putting my arm around him and leaning my head on his shoulder. Daisy takes the opportunity to stretch across both of our laps, and I reach down to softly rub her head.

"Others I have talked to are undergoing psychological counseling to help them get re-acclimated. Is that something you're doing as well?" Victoria asks.

"Yeah, I started seeing a therapist a few weeks after I was released. My mom made me," he chuckles. "I wasn't really into it at the time, but I can see the value now. When I moved, he found someone here for me to continue therapy."

"Having a girlfriend must be a huge deal to you," she observes.

I immediately feel Edward tense beside me. "Why do you say that?"

"I know that death row inmates spend up to 23 hours a day alone in their cells in some states. I'm sure it's quite an adjustment to interact with other human beings again — especially in any kind of meaningful way. Presumably cats are easier," she laughs, nodding toward where Daisy is now curled up asleep on Edward's lap.

He takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "You're right, I'd definitely forgotten how to interact with people. I don't know how I didn't chase Bella away."

Victoria smiles. "Have you made any new friends? Or reconnected with any old ones? I won't mention any names in the article, of course."

"I only ran into a couple of people back home that I used to know; it seems like most of my old friends never came back after college. One old friend was welcoming, but most others stared at me like I was some kind of zoo exhibit. A lot of people weren't convinced that I was truly innocent."

"That's awful," she frowns. "I've read the specifics on your case, and every piece of DNA evidence pointed to another man. There was no evidence at all that tied you to the murder."

Edward shrugs. "It's hard to change prejudices. As for new friends, there's Emmett; he's a neighbor of ours. We work out together sometimes. He's a great guy, really laid back."

"And he doesn't ask questions," I point out.

"Doesn't ask questions?" she repeats. "What does that mean?"

"No one here in Tucson knows about my past," he explains. "That's why I asked you to keep any personal information out of your article. Emmett knows I don't have a job, but he never questions _why_ I don't."

"None of your new friends know you were in prison?" she asks, sounding shocked.

Edward shakes his head. "I don't want to be known by my past."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, though. You were wronged, and the vast majority of people should be sympathetic to that. I doubt anyone would hold it against you."

"But they'll look at me differently, and I don't want that."

"I think it'll have to come out sometime," I speak up. "I mean, when he does look for a job, his prior conviction might turn up on a background check. Or at the very least, he'd have to explain his lack of previous job experience."

"On your first point," Victoria begins, "One of the things that the Innocence Project advocates for is that the criminal records of those who are exonerated should be expunged. If that happens, potential employers wouldn't be able to find the felony conviction on your record, though I suppose a simple Google search would turn up the information."

Edward stares down at his hands, looking a little pale. "It'll follow me everywhere," he whispers.

"It's not like _everyone_ has to know," I assure him. "It would just be the person who hires you, or the company's HR department."

"I guess," he replies sullenly.

"I'm very sorry that this happened to you, Edward," Victoria says fervently. "We believe that each state has a responsibility to restore the lives of the wrongfully convicted to the best of their abilities, but in your case… the 'what might have been' is so shockingly different from the reality."

"Even if… even if this had happened 10 years ago and I could still potentially be a doctor, there's nothing the state or _anyone_ can do to erase—" He stops, covering his face with his hands, and I rub his back, kissing his temple. I want to tell her that he's had enough and it's time to wrap this up, but I also don't want to overstep if Edward can handle it himself.

"Edward?" she calls and he lifts his head. "Thank you for speaking with me. I think I've got enough for my article, but could I call you if any additional questions come up?"

"Ok," he replies quietly. Thank God she could see what I could.

"Great, thank you, I'll see myself out… so we don't disturb your kitten," she adds with a wink.

* * *

**A/N:** Many of you have commented that Edward should work for Emmett. He took a first step toward doing that, though he had to be talked into it. Daisy was not happy about him being gone all day though.

Edward bravely consented to another interview to help out those who weren't as "fortunate" as he was. And we have a nice Victoria for once. :)

Since 1989, 330 people in 37 states have been exonerated through post-conviction DNA testing. The Innocence Project was involved in 176 of the 330 DNA exonerations. Go to innocenceproject dot org for more information, and you can donate.

Next update on **Friday**. Review replies will be late tonight, as I'm going to a musical with a friend, the last one of the season.


	31. The Session

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! Over 1,900 Followers now!

Everyone is proud of Edward for the two big steps he took in the last chapter. I hope you all checked out the website for the Innocence Project!

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 31 — The Session_

Most girls get flowers or chocolates on February 14th, or even an engagement ring. But for our first Valentine's Day together, Edward gives me something even more precious: his trust.

Sure, a bouquet of a dozen red roses is delivered to our apartment, but it's the attached note, inviting me to come along to Edward's appointment with Dr. Banner on Friday, that means far more to me. He makes sure I understand that any discussion of his time in prison is off limits, but just the opportunity to talk with him and his therapist is enough for me right now.

Edward even moves the time of his appointment back to 3:30pm, so I can still attend my Physics class at two. He picks me up at school after class, and if possible, looks even more nervous than I feel.

When we arrive at Dr. Banner's office, we've still got plenty of time, so we stand outside while Edward smokes a cigarette. He looks so… green, that I almost want to call it off, tell him I can just stay in the waiting room. But I _want_ to be there.

Finally he tosses his cigarette, stubbing it out with his shoe. "Let's do this," he mutters, taking my hand.

"Good afternoon, Edward," Dr. Banner greets him after the receptionist has sent us back to his office. "It's good to see you again, Bella."

"Good to see you too," I reply with a nervous smile. I sit in the chair next to Edward, immediately grabbing for his hand.

"So," Dr. Banner begins, "Edward has explained his ground rules to you?"

I nod. "We talk about the present, not the past."

"Right," he chuckles. "That's one way of putting it. First though, I'd like to talk about the recent past. Edward has told me how the two of you met, but I'd like to hear the story from your point of view."

"Um, ok. Edward's parents had lived next door to my dad and me for years. After he was released from prison, I saw him sitting outside smoking when I got home from school, so I introduced myself. He just stared at me and didn't say a word," I chuckle. "So I ran home feeling like an idiot."

"You didn't tell me that part, Edward," Dr. Banner interrupts.

He shrugs. "I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what she really wanted, or if I could trust her."

"How do you think you gained his trust, Bella?"

"I bribed him with home baked chocolate chip cookies a few days later," I smile as I remember, and the doctor laughs.

From there, I explain about prom night — how he was there when I limped home with a broken shoe, and later, sharing our first kiss on the beach. I growl as I remember him ignoring me for the next three weeks, and then talking to _Tanya_, of all people.

"So you tried to give her up for her own good, but she wouldn't let you," Dr. Banner surmises.

"Yeah," Edward replies. "She's incredibly stubborn, but it's one of the things I love about her."

"What else do you love about her?" he prompts, and I can feel my face heat up as I look toward Edward, waiting for his answer.

"Everything," he shrugs. "She's beautiful and loyal and patient. I need someone who can be patient with me."

"Patient in that she doesn't push you?" the doctor clarifies.

Edward nods. "Maybe she doesn't realize I notice it, but I do. Bella has to walk a pretty fine line, not treating me like I'm fragile, but also not doing anything to upset me. She tries so hard to give me what I need."

"Is it though?" he asks. "Is it really what you need, or what you _want_?"

He opens and closes his mouth a few times, but doesn't respond, so I jump in. "Do you think I should push him more often?" I frown.

Dr. Banner smiles at me. "I'm guilty of the same thing, I think. We know that Edward has been through a lot, so we tend to give him more leeway than we should. But we also need to help him keep moving forward.

"When was the last time you pushed him to do anything, Bella?"

"_Anything?_ I-I guess I asked him to bring me to one of his sessions back in November. I didn't push him though, I don't think."

"And that's why it took three months," he notes.

"I still did it," Edward replies, sounding a bit surly.

"You did," the doctor allows. "What about physically?"

I can feel Edward's hand tense in mine. Though we're only discussing the present, it's so tied to his past.

"I haven't pushed him at all since… since…"

"Since the last time you tried to perform oral sex on him?"

I nod, staring down at my feet, my face flaming. "I hate hurting him," I whisper.

"You aren't the one who's hurt him, Bella," Dr. Banner says gently.

I nod, knowing that's true, but I still hate to be the cause of a panic attack. "It was awful," I whisper. "I didn't mean to hurt him, and then he gave me the silent treatment for days—"

"No, I didn't," Edward protests. "It's not that I wasn't talking to you, I just… I needed to be alone."

"But it hurt to be shut out," I cry. "I'm his girlfriend, so he shouldn't do that, right?" I ask Dr. Banner.

"If it's something that bothers you, then no, he shouldn't." He takes his glasses off, rubbing his eye for a moment before putting them back on. "How many previous relationships have you had?"

"None," I answer quietly and the doctor's eyes widen.

"None at all?" he asks in shock.

I shake my head. "I-I never dated in high school. And I, um, lost my virginity to Edward."

Dr. Banner looks over at Edward, and I see him glaring back out of the corner of my eye. "You heard her earlier — she pursued me."

The doctor chuckles. "I did hear that. I also think you're a lucky guy that your girlfriend is too inexperienced to call you out on your shit."

"When he shuts me out, I don't have anyone else that I can talk to," I explain quietly. "My best friend from Washington is really the only friend I have that knows Edward was in prison, but I still can't talk to her about… his issues. I tried to discuss it with my friend Alice when he was shutting me out, but it was so tough, talking in code so I didn't betray his confidence."

"No more shutting her out, Edward. I know you don't want to lose her, and that'll be the fastest way to do so."

He stares down at his feet and I almost feel bad for him — almost.

"Edward?" Dr. Banner prompts.

"I didn't shut her out last time," he whispers.

"Last time, when she surprised you in the shower?" He nods. "How many times have you triggered him, Bella?"

"Ummm… four, I think? Twice back in Forks. The, um, the first time I… I tried to give him a blowjob." I swear, it's harder for me to say the words to a man older than my parents than it is to actually _do_ it. "And, um, the time I put my hand over his mouth. He ran away from me that time, but he did come back after a few minutes."

"So, two acceptable reactions and two unacceptable?"

"I-I guess."

"And now you're afraid to do something that might trigger him again."

I nod. "I mean, not enough to not do _anything_… sexual with him. But I'm never attempting a blowjob again."

"You were able to do it successfully once, isn't that right, Edward?"

"I guess you could call it successful. I… finished. But I couldn't really relax and enjoy it."

"You were too afraid that Bella would inadvertently trigger you?"

"Yeah."

"It's so hard to avoid his triggers when I don't know what they are," I complain. "I understand that he can't tell me, but…"

"Bella, do you understand that even Edward doesn't actually know all of his triggers? If it's not something he's encountered before, then he has no idea."

"He mentioned that once," I nod. "And I've learned some of them, through trial and error, I guess. I still don't know what exactly I did wrong the first time."

"You don't?" Dr. Banner asks, looking a bit shocked.

I shake my head. "Edward would never tell me. And I guess, I wasn't really looking at his face, so I didn't see the exact moment he freaked out."

Edward's grip on my hand tightens, and I notice the way he seems to be shrinking back in his chair.

"Why didn't you tell her what she did wrong, Edward?"

"I can't," he whispers.

"Would you allow me to tell her?"

He gasps, his eyes wide, almost like he's having a panic attack _now_. "Please don't," he whispers.

"I won't," Dr. Banner assures him. "Not without your permission. How about if I tell her while you're out of the room?"

He shakes his head back and forth quickly, squeezing his eyes shut. I make a move toward him, but Dr. Banner holds his hand up.

"Edward, whatever you're afraid she'll glean from that information, I suspect she has already figured out."

"Please don't," he whispers again, and I can't take it anymore. I jump out of my seat, sitting down across Edward's lap. I pull him close, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, then place soft kisses on his temple.

"I'm sorry," he chokes out.

I see Dr. Banner reach under his desk, and then he holds a bottle of water out to Edward, who takes it with a shaking hand. As he drinks it, I stroke my fingers through his hair, holding back tears. The things he went through must've been so awful, for him to react this way over just the _mention_ of telling me.

"Could you go back to your own chair please, Bella?" the doctor suggests once Edward seems calmer, and I reluctantly do it, taking hold of his hand again.

"I think it goes without saying that you need to remember to communicate with each other," Dr. Banner states. "And I think it's time we do set some goals for you, Edward."

He grimaces, and I try not to laugh. I do agree with Dr. Banner's assessment. If we continue to let Edward do things in his own time, we may be waiting until _I_ am old and gray.

"At least once a week, Edward, try something you're not totally comfortable with, ok? If you can't do it, then at least you tried."

"Ok," he agrees in a whisper.

"And Bella, don't be afraid to ask for whatever you need from Edward. You're as important in this relationship as he is."

"All right," I nod.

"Edward? How does all of this sound to you?"

"I want to be better for her, I really do. I'll try whatever you say."

"Good," the doctor smiles. "By next Friday, you need something to report, ok? I'm not going to let you slack off."

"Thank you, Dr. Banner… for having me here." I think it's really going to help a lot to get a bit more cooperation from Edward.

"Of course, Bella. It's something I'd actually been advocating for, for several months."

Edward grins sheepishly, and I know he's the reason it hasn't happened until now.

After the doctor has walked us out, we step outside and Edward immediately lights a cigarette. I hold out my hand, and he rolls his eyes, dropping the car keys onto my palm.

* * *

Once we get home, Edward sits down to pet Daisy — who's taking a nap on our couch — for a few minutes, but he still looks on edge.

"You need to relax, Edward." He's almost making _me_ edgy.

"How do you suggest I do that?" he asks quietly, scratching under Daisy's chin.

I shrug. "Women relax with a bubble bath, some scented candles and a glass of wine."

"We don't have any wine," he replies with a small smile. Rolling my eyes, I get up to grab an ice cold bottle of beer from the fridge and hand it to him.

After opening it and taking a sip, he gently removes Daisy from his lap and stands up, heading toward the bedroom. "You coming?" he calls back over his shoulder. Is he seriously going to take a bubble bath?

I hurry after him, picking up two of the jar candles I've set out in our bedroom. Edward starts the water running in the tub, then hands me the bottle of bubble bath.

"I have no idea how much to put in," he chuckles. "The last time I had a bubble bath, Mom fixed it for me."

I grin in response, watching as he downs the rest of his beer. He strips out of his clothes and I take his jeans from him, pulling his lighter out of the pocket to light the candles before folding his jeans and laying them on the sink.

Once the tub is about half full, he gets in, then looks up at me. "Why are you still fully dressed?"

I look at him in shock for a moment before I start taking my clothes off. "Where do you want me?"

Edward scoots forward, so I settle in behind him in the warm water, with my legs on either side of his hips. He slouches down under the bubbles, the back of his head resting on my shoulder and his knees bent.

I bring my hands up, lightly massaging his shoulders and he hums in contentment.

"Sorry," he whispers.

"For what?"

"I know it's not supposed to be like this. I should be holding _you_."

"That's ridiculous! And besides, I like holding you."

"You're so strong all of the time. I think I forget that you need me, too."

"I do, Edward. I need you so much." I kiss the side of his neck softly. "I hope you know that nothing that happened to you could ever change the way I feel about you."

"Don't," he whispers.

"Ok, ok," I concede, then slide my hands under his arms, brushing them against his sides and over his chest. Meanwhile, Edward hooks my ankles over his strong thighs, his thumbs pushing into the bottom of my feet.

We stay there like that, just touching each other, before he sits up a bit more. I hug him tightly from behind, and he takes my right hand in his, leading it down his stomach.

I'm not exactly sure what he's doing, until he wraps it around his soft cock. I smile though he can't see me, moving my hand up and down a few times until he magically hardens in my hand.

I explore his chest with my left hand, while the right one pleasures him. "Feels so good, Bella," he whispers. "Don't stop."

"I won't stop," I promise. I rub my thumb over the head of his cock and he hisses. "Let go for me. I want you to come apart in my hand."

Edward throws his head back and I place soft kisses on his jaw, watching the pleasure on his face.

"Oh God," he whimpers, squeezing his eyes closed as he comes. After a few moments, he turns his head to kiss me softly. "I love you," he whispers.

"I love you more."

* * *

**A/N:** Finally Edward invited Bella to come along to one of his sessions with Dr. Banner! What did you think of what the good doc had to say? Is it time to set some goals for Edward? He's making a lot of progress with socializing, but…

Next update on **Tuesday**.


	32. The Vacation

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story!

Pretty much everyone is in agreement with the way Dr. Banner is handling Edward, giving him the goal of trying something new outside his comfort zone every week.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 32 — The Vacation_

I'm on Spring Break during the third week of March. After initially planning to stay home, we decide to go to San Diego with Edward's parents so that he can see his grandparents. He's nervous about seeing them again, but he's using this visit as part of his "homework" for Dr. Banner. Of course he talks to them on the phone at least every couple of weeks, but they haven't seen him since his release. In fact, I'm not sure they ever visited him in prison either.

If Edward had his way, we would take Daisy with us, but since that's not really possible, our options are a pet hotel or a cat sitter. He's completely anti-kennel, so Riley and Fernando will be taking Daisy while we're out of town. They have a 14-year-old gray Persian cat named Jessie who spends 95% of her waking hours sunbathing; I'm sure a kitten will be a bit of a culture shock to them.

It's about a six-hour drive on the interstate to San Diego. Leaving on Sunday, we drive separately from Esme and Carlisle, since we're planning to detour to visit the Grand Canyon on the way back.

Edward's grandparents live in a retirement community where they live independently in a one-bedroom apartment, but can have meals and socialize with other residents. As soon as we've arrived, both of them throw their arms around Edward, hugging him tightly.

"Oh, my beautiful boy!" his grandmother cries once she's finally stepped back enough to look at him. "You still look the exactly the same."

"Sure, Grandma," he snorts.

We all step inside the apartment, and Edward puts his arm around me, bringing me forward. "This is Bella," he introduces me with a huge smile. "My girlfriend."

"It's so nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen."

"Oh please, I'm Betty and my husband is Jim," the still-lovely white-haired woman says with a smile.

"James Carlisle Cullen, Senior," her husband specifies with a wink as he shakes my hand.

"Aren't you a beauty?" Betty gushes. "The two of you are going to make such beautiful babies."

I remain smiling, but I feel a bit like a deer in headlights. I hate to burst her bubble and tell her that unless Edward changes his mind, that's never gonna happen.

As we sit down, Betty pulls Edward to sit between her and her husband on the sofa, while Esme and Carlisle take the loveseat and I sit in what is likely Jim's recliner.

While we talk, Edward's grandmother seems unable to stop touching him, as if she can't quite believe he's really here with her. I'm sure he's protected them as much as possible and they know nothing of his issues with being touched. He does appear to be slightly uncomfortable, though to his credit he doesn't complain.

After dinner at a lovely seafood restaurant overlooking the water, Edward and I check into our hotel, while Carlisle and Esme drive his parents home. Our room faces the bay, with a king-sized bed and a private balcony.

As I relax out on the balcony while Edward smokes, I check my phone for the first time since we got to San Diego.

"Oh my God," I chuckle as I watch the video that Riley sent me earlier. "You have to see this, Edward." He smiles widely as he watches the video; Daisy has somehow convinced their older cat to _play_ with her.

"Do you miss your kitten?" I tease him.

"_Our_ kitten."

"Please," I snort. "She's totally yours. I think she just tolerates me because you seem to like me."

"I do like you," he grins, tugging on my hand until I get up to sit on his lap. I kiss him softly, then lean my head on his shoulder. I love spending quiet time with Edward like this.

"Your grandparents seem nice."

"Yeah, they're awesome. They lived in Seattle when I was growing up, so I didn't see them all that often, but I always loved going for visits. Grandma made the best cookies. I think I was 16 when my grandpa retired and they moved down here."

"It's really beautiful here. I kind of miss the ocean sometimes," I admit.

"Do you want to move to the coast when you graduate?"

"I don't know… I haven't thought that far ahead. What about you?"

"I just want to be wherever you are."

* * *

We've got a long day planned at the San Diego Zoo with the whole family. The zoo is huge, but they've got a guided bus tour, an express bus and their Skyfari to get visitors from place to place. Neither of Edward's grandparents seem to have any trouble getting around, though apparently Jim had a knee replacement several years ago.

When we buy our tickets, Edward gets the bad news: the entire zoo is smoke-free. Though he smokes much less than he used to when he first got out of prison, I don't even want to know how crabby he's going to be by late afternoon.

As we walk down Big Cat Trail, Edward seems lost in his own world, a little upset even. "Are you missing Daisy?" I tease him.

"The fences," he whispers. "I know the area is large, but they're trapped behind chain-link fences — like I was."

"I'm sorry," I reply, winding an arm around him. "I never thought about how some of the things you'd see here might be difficult for you."

"Another one of those triggers I didn't know about until I experienced it," he shrugs.

"Do you want to take some time out?"

"Not if I can't have a cigarette," he grumbles and I chuckle. He'll be ok.

By 4pm when we're visiting the polar bears and are nowhere near the main entrance, Edward has finally lost all interest in taking selfies with me. He's doing everything he can not to snap at us though.

"You go this long without a cigarette at night!"

"I'm sleeping then," he growls. "I can't believe they don't have _one_ designated smoking area in the entire zoo."

I reach over and rub his back, but I don't think I'm really helping him. Now is probably not a good time to suggest that he should quit.

We end up leaving about an hour later, and he's got a cigarette in his mouth before he's even outside the gates. I laugh when his grandmother looks at him disapprovingly.

After dinner, we go back to their apartment, where I smile like a loon all night, listening to Edward's parents and grandparents swap stories of what he was like as a child. I try not to let it get to me, but it freaks me out a bit to know that I wasn't even born then — most of the time I hardly notice our age difference.

* * *

On Tuesday, Edward and I decide to spend the day alone, before meeting the rest of his family for dinner later on. The beach is right across the street from our hotel, and though the temperature is only in the mid-60s, we spend the afternoon there enjoying the sun and watching a handful of surfers.

"Want to go in the water?" Edward asks, cuddled up with me on a beach chair.

"No," I chuckle. "Every time someone sticks their foot in, they run right back out. It must be freezing."

"Please?" he asks, giving me a pout that should be illegal.

And so I reluctantly agree. And then step one foot in the water and scream like a girl. I try to head back to dry land, but Edward pulls me farther into the water, wrapping me up in his arms.

"Oh my God, how can you stand this?" I yelp. "It's soooo cold."

"Cold is spending 18 years in a drafty concrete cell with only a thin blanket."

I stop thrashing around and look up at Edward in shock. He absolutely _never_ mentions his time in prison without being asked about it.

"I thought I'd never know what warmth felt like again."

"Edward—" I start, reaching up to touch his face. He looks down at me, almost like he didn't realize I was there.

"Come on, let's get you warm," he says quietly, leading me back up onto the beach. We dry off, then cuddle up together on our shared beach chair again. There are plenty available, so we could each have our own, but I like being close to him.

Finally we pack up our things and head back to our hotel. We both need to wash the saltwater and sand off before getting ready for dinner.

"Can I shower first since I take longer to get ready?" I ask as I pull fresh clothes out of my suitcase.

"It's big enough for both of us."

I turn around, staring at Edward. Is he serious? After what happened at my mom's house, I didn't think he'd ever suggest that we could shower together.

"Unless you don't want to?" he asks quietly.

"No… no, I—that's fine."

Once we've both shed our bathing suits, Edward turns on the water then waits for me to step inside with him. I try to concentrate on just washing myself and not drooling over how hot he looks with water dripping down his muscular chest and back. I remind myself repeatedly that just because he suggested we could shower together does not mean he intends for this to be a 'recreational' shower.

I'm startled when he reaches out, softly brushing the back of his fingers over my face. "So sexy," he whispers, leaning down to touch his lips to mine. I kiss him back tenderly, still not sure if he actually intends for this to go anywhere.

Edward's hands trace lightly down my sides and then around until he's cupping my ass cheeks. He lifts me up and I quickly wind my legs around his waist, grabbing hold of whatever part of him I can reach. He backs me up and the cool tile of the shower wall against my back contrasts with the heat of his skin brushing against my breasts.

Suddenly he's lifting me higher, dipping his head down to capture my left nipple between his lips. One of his hands snakes between us until his long fingers begin sliding in and out of my entrance, and I moan in pleasure. He's so very, very good at touching me.

"Don't scream, ok?" he asks, and I'm momentarily confused until his cock replaces his fingers inside me. I kiss him hard, letting his mouth muffle any sounds of pleasure. Our bodies are wet and slippery and I'm trying desperately to hold on to him while he pistons his hips over and over.

_Goddamn_, Alice was right about shower sex.

We reach our peaks at nearly the same time, and as he slows his hips, Edward leans his forehead on my shoulder, breathing heavily. I stroke my fingers through his hair, whispering how much I love him.

His cock has softened inside me before he finally lifts his head and pulls out. He lowers my feet to the floor and my knees nearly buckle.

"Ok?" he asks.

"Yeah… are you?"

"I'm perfect," he replies with a small smile. Now he has _two_ things to brag to Dr. Banner about.

* * *

The following day, we have breakfast with the entire family, then after numerous hugs and kisses, set off for the Grand Canyon. I'm really excited to see it. I wanted to do one of the mule rides to the bottom, but apparently you need to book that months in advance, not _days_.

By the time we've arrived after the long drive from the coast, there's just time to check in to our hotel and get some dinner. We spend the entire next day visiting the park, doing a short mule ride and taking lots of pictures.

After spending a little more time at the park on Friday morning, we drive back to Tucson, stopping at Riley and Fernando's house to pick up Daisy.

"Hey!" Riley greets us, ushering us inside. The streak in his hair is now green, presumably since yesterday was St. Patrick's Day. He holds his finger to his lips as we walk into the living room, where Daisy and Jessie are sound asleep in the corner of their couch. They're just the cutest pair. Jessie has one of her front paws over Daisy as if she's hugging her — or trying to keep her from waking up and driving her nuts.

"Fernando should be off work in about 15 minutes if you guys want to grab a bite to eat with us," he suggests. "I can text him to meet us somewhere."

Edward shrugs his approval, so I tell Riley to go ahead. He chooses an Irish pub in recognition of his heritage, complaining that every pub in town was packed yesterday.

We decide to let the kitties sleep, tiptoeing out of the house. "Man, Daisy has been running our girl ragged," Riley laughs. "Jessie was mine when I still lived with my parents, and I can't ever remember her having that much energy, even when she was young."

"I hope she wasn't too much trouble?" I fret.

"Nah, I think she gave Jessie a new lease on life."

Edward and I ride with Riley to the pub, and the three of us get a booth, ordering drinks while we wait for Fernando to show up.

"So tell me more about yourself, Bella," Fernando suggests once we've ordered. "I don't think I know much beyond the fact that you're from somewhere in Washington," he laughs. I narrow my eyes a bit, figuring that he's also trying to get info on Edward, despite addressing me.

"We're from a small town on the Olympic peninsula," I confirm. "One of the rainiest places on Earth.

"Um, there isn't much else to say," I chuckle. "My parents divorced when I was two, and I was raised by my dad, who's the Chief of Police in our small town. My mom moved to Phoenix after the divorce."

"Any step-parents?" he asks curiously. "My dad remarried 10 years ago and I have five step or half siblings."

"My dad never remarried, no. My mom got remarried a few years ago. Her husband Phil is the pitching coach for the Arizona Diamondbacks."

"Really?" Riley asks in shock.

"Yeah. He's like eight years younger than her. He was drafted out of college as a pitcher when he was 20, and there were really high hopes for him, but he was injured in his first full season in the Majors and forced to retire. My mom met him while working as a PA to someone in the team's front office."

"What about you, Edward?" Fernando asks.

"My dad's a doctor and my mom's a lawyer," he answers simply. I notice he left out Esme's past as an interior designer, since it was quite a career change. She has now found a job at a law office here in Tucson.

"And you?" he prompts.

Edward shrugs. "I wanted to be a doctor once, but that didn't happen."

"Wait, your parents are in Tucson, right?" Riley asks. "I remember you said something about spending Christmas with them. I thought you and Bella met in Washington?"

"We did," Edward confirms. "And yeah, my parents live here now. They're getting pretty close to retirement, so they decided to follow us." Fernando eyes us curiously, and I know that still sounds weird, even if Edward tried to give a reason for their move.

"And his dad's parents retired to San Diego, which is why we went there for Spring Break," I explain.

"Oh, they're still alive?" Riley asks, and his boyfriend elbows him in the ribs.

"They're in their 80s, but still alive, yeah," Edward chuckles.

"So if the doctor thing didn't happen, what do you want to be when you grow up, Edward?" Fernando asks with a grin.

"I-I don't know," he replies with a frown.

"Maybe you can be a house husband and raise your babies," Riley smiles, and I can see Edward trying not to grimace.

Once we've finished our meals, we order the apparently famous bread pudding for dessert and Edward goes outside for a cigarette while we wait.

"So I think I've figured out his deal," Fernando announces.

I set down my glass, staring at him. "Wh-what's that?"

"I think Edward joined the military after high school. Based on his age, he'd have served in Iraq or Afghanistan. Something must have happened to him over there — something that gave him PTSD and changed his entire future.

"Don't tell me if I'm wrong," he adds with a wink.

"He _hates_ to be wrong," Riley adds with a grin.

I just give them a soft smile. I have no idea how to respond to that. Fernando is wrong, of course, but it makes sense with the things he's seen. I think I'd rather he come up with his own explanation than continue to try to get Edward to spill the beans.

After dessert, we drive back to their house. Riley opens the front door and Edward calls out for his kitten, "Come on, Daisy Girl!"

Within seconds, she's in front of us, excitedly meowing and wagging her tail. Of course, a cat wagging its tail doesn't mean the same thing as when a dog does it.

"Daisy is _pissed_," I chuckle, as Edward braves those sharp claws of hers to pick her up.

She tries to climb her way up his torso, and he finally gets her situated where she's sort of hugging him, her little paws hanging off of his shoulder. He pets her back in long strokes, whispering to her while she continues to cry.

"Daisy, you act like you haven't been treated like a queen for the last six days!" Riley complains.

"Edward's just really good with his hands," I wink, and both guys laugh. "I guess I'll go get her things."

* * *

**A/N:** Several more big steps for Edward in this chapter! He went to visit his grandparents, he told Bella a bit about prison life, he let Fernando and Riley watch Daisy… and he conquered shower sex!

What do you think of the explanation Fernando came up with for Edward's PTSD?

I've never been to the San Diego Zoo, so apologies if I got anything wrong from looking at their website and maps.

Next update on **Friday**. It's the first anniversary of Edward's release from prison.

* * *

Voting begins tomorrow (Wednesday) in the "Meet the Mate" contest. It's a **huge** field (80 as of posting time, with the deadline for entries yesterday), so get reading!

Fanfiction dot net /u/6798308/MeetTheMateContest


	33. The Anniversary

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! About to cross 1,300 Favorites!

Everyone is cheering Edward on as he makes more strides toward getting better and leading a normal life. Who would've thought that his worst issue on vacation would be his inability to smoke wherever he wanted?

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 33 — The Anniversary_

The day before the first anniversary of Edward's release from prison, Victoria Laurent's article is published in the latest issue of _Time_ magazine.

On Tuesdays I've just got Spanish class at nine, followed by a five-hour break before my Physics lab. Edward has already gone out to buy a copy of the magazine by the time I get home from my morning class. I cuddle up next to him on the couch to read the article, and I'm pleased to see that Victoria has kept her promise to leave out identifying details. In fact, each of the men she interviewed is mentioned only by his first name; it's as if their stories could belong to anyone.

Every story is absolutely heartbreaking. One man released two months before Edward spent 28 years behind bars and has received no compensation. It's all so unfair.

Edward has his regularly scheduled appointment with Dr. Banner this afternoon, and I'm grateful for the timing; the article really seems to have affected him. He's so quiet though that I'm not sure I trust him to drive there by himself. He insists that he's ok, so I let him go, then reluctantly head back to UA for my lab, where I spend the entire time worrying about him.

When I get back home, I find Edward and Daisy out on the balcony. I'd sit on his lap, but Daisy has already claimed the prime location and is sound asleep, so I take the chair beside him.

"Are you all right?" I ask quietly. He nods and shrugs at the same time, and I'm not sure which to believe. "Are you hungry?"

"I could eat."

I roll my eyes. "I'll go pick up some sandwiches, ok? Or would you like something else?"

"No, that's fine," he nods.

The two of them are still in the same position when I get back 15 minutes later. I hand Edward his wrapped sandwich, setting a beer for him on the small table.

As we eat, Daisy wakes up, yawning adorably. And then she's up on her feet, sniffing at his sandwich and begging for a bite of chicken.

"No, Daisy," he warns her, holding it up out of her reach. Of course he'll eventually cave and let her have a piece; he always does. That cat totally has him wrapped around her paw; I've never seen anything quite like it. It seems to be mutual though.

"Did you pick up some of their giant cookies for dessert?" he asks as he polishes off his meal.

"No," I chuckle, happy to see he hasn't lost his appetite. "I can bake you some cookies, if you want."

"Yes, please," he grins. "How about one of the recipes Grandma gave us?" Edward's grandmother sent us home from San Diego last month with a copy of all of her recipes. She even marked the ones he loved as a child.

"I'll see what I've got the ingredients to make." It's a good thing he works out so much, because my boyfriend has got a serious sweet tooth.

* * *

"Noooooooo!"

The anguished cry wakes me up with a start.

"No! Please… please… I didn't…"

"Edward!" I shout, reaching out to shake his shoulder; I've learned that I need to wake him up as quickly as possible from a nightmare.

He gasps loudly and I reach for the lamp on the bedside table. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Daisy go scurrying off the end of the bed and out of the room. By the time I've turned back to Edward, he's sitting up, scrubbing his hands over his face.

"A nightmare?" I probe. They don't happen all that often, but when they do, it's so heartbreaking to watch.

He nods, his hands still covering his face. Finally he pulls them away, gazing over at me. "Sorry," he whispers. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's ok." I reach out, slowly stroking my fingers through the hair above his ear. "Ready to go back to sleep? You can use me as a pillow," I offer.

He shakes his head. "I think I need some fresh air." Sighing, Edward climbs out of bed, grabbing a t-shirt out of the drawer, then disappears through the bedroom doorway.

Turning off the light, I lie down and try to go back to sleep, since it's the middle of the night, but it's like my body just knows that he's missing. It doesn't feel right to go to sleep without him.

I toss and turn for what feels like hours, and still Edward doesn't come back. Finally I decide to go look for him, to make sure he's all right.

Stepping out onto the balcony, I rub my bare arms against the chill in the air. "Edward?" I whisper, and he turns his head to look at me. I walk over to him and sit down across his lap, hugging him to me, and rest my head against his chest. "You've been out here for an hour, at least."

"I'm sorry."

"I couldn't sleep without you." I try to keep the whine out of my voice; I don't want him to feel guilty for something that isn't his fault.

Edward wraps his arms around me, rubbing up and down my back, and I close my eyes, content to just be in his arms. I could fall asleep like this.

After a few minutes, I feel something wet hit my nose and look up at him, barely able to see the handful of tear tracks running down his face in the moonlight. "You're crying," I breathe.

"Sorry," he whispers. "It just… it hits me sometimes… how much time I lost. Time I'll never get back."

I reach up, brushing his tears away, then place a soft kiss on his chin.

"I know I've told you not to feel sorry for me," he continues, "But sometimes… I should be allowed to just scream at how unfair it was, shouldn't I?"

"Of course you should," I agree, stroking his stubbly cheek.

"Did you know I used to lie awake at night, wondering what it would be like… walking down the hall to my death? What it would feel like to get the injection… Would it be painful, or would it just be like falling asleep?"

A tear leaks from my own eye as I listen to his soft voice.

"That was my future… the only future I could afford to think about. I'd long since given up hope of ever walking out of prison. I couldn't allow myself to dream, or I'd just be disappointed.

"And then… and then the Innocence Project agreed to take up my case. When they won the right to have the old evidence tested for DNA, I knew… I knew they wouldn't find mine. I wouldn't let myself _hope_, but every once in a while, I'd catch myself dreaming of what it would be like to be free."

"What did you dream of?" I ask quietly, snuggling back against him. I can picture him dreaming of running along the beach, enjoying the sun on his face and wind in his hair.

"At first I couldn't imagine anything more than being some pathetic loser, living with my parents for the rest of my life," he says bitterly, and I frown. "But then, when the compensation law was passed in Washington three years ago, I realized that if I ever got out, I'd be getting a lot of money. So I used to imagine I'd take the money and buy a log cabin in the woods somewhere, far away from Forks. I'd be the crazy town recluse with a bushy beard that everyone's afraid of — the one everyone whispers about."

"Edward!" I scold him gently.

"I did," he insists. "I just couldn't see a future in which I would become a part of society again. I figured I'd just live by myself somewhere and go into town only when I needed something."

"All by yourself?" I whisper, looking up at him.

He nods slowly. "I couldn't ever imagine finding someone to share my life with… someone who would ever want me, not after everything. Not with how fucked up I knew I was."

"You silly man."

He stares down at me, brushing his fingers across my cheek. "Even if I could have imagined someone like you existing, I… I wasn't sure I had the capacity to love anymore."

"That's ridiculous… you never lose something like that."

"For 18 years, I couldn't focus on anything beyond what I had to do to survive, Bella. I lived in fear for my life — every single day. It warps you… turns you into someone you don't recognize."

"I don't think that's true," I argue. "Remember, I've heard all about teenage Edward from your parents and grandparents. In a lot of ways, I don't think you're that different. Maybe you had to bury who you really were, but it was still there, inside you. That's the man I fell in love with."

Edward squeezes me close, leaning down to breathe me in. "I can't imagine my life without you," he whispers.

"Good thing you'll never have to."

We sit there quietly for a while; I like listening to the sound of Edward's heartbeat beneath my ear. I love knowing that he's alive, and he's mine. I just can't imagine a world in which he doesn't exist — in which his name wasn't able to be cleared. I can't imagine not having the chance to fall in love with him.

"Will you tell me what your nightmare was about?" Though I always ask, he never tells me. But I feel like one day, maybe he will.

"I was hanging," he whispers.

"What?" I lift my head from his chest to stare at him.

"I dreamt that they couldn't clear my name in time."

"Ok, but… hanging?"

"Washington is the only state with an active gallows. Lethal injection is the default now, but… I could feel it," he whispers. "I could feel the noose tightening around my neck. And then you woke me up."

Another tear drips from his eye and I reach up, wiping it away. "Is that what all of your nightmares are about?" I ask curiously. I'd always figured, well… that they were a different kind of gruesome.

He shakes his head. "I think it was just from reading the article today… or yesterday, I suppose."

I smile sympathetically; I _knew_ he wasn't ok.

"The sun's coming up," he says suddenly.

I turn to look, but of course, our balcony faces the west. Still, I can tell that the sky is getting brighter. I yawn, leaning my head on Edward's chest again.

"I'm sorry I kept you up half the night," he says quietly. "Maybe we should go back to bed."

"It's one of my early days, remember? If it's already past sunrise, my English class starts in about two hours. I'd get, what, 15 minutes of sleep before I need to get up and shower?" I shake my head. "I'll just… take a nap when I get home from class."

"I could wake you up," he says suggestively, and I lift my head to stare at him. Oh, I do like the ways Edward can wake me up. He's very… creative in the morning.

"So you're feeling better?" I ask, one eyebrow raised.

He grins, grabbing under my legs and standing up quickly. I squeal, winding my arms around his neck, as he carries me to the door.

"It's also the anniversary of the day we met, after all," he reminds me.

* * *

After spending all of the late morning and early afternoon curled up on our bed with Edward, I'm sorely tempted to not go back to school for my afternoon Physics class — except I have a test, damnit.

When I get back home, it's almost 3:30 and Edward and Daisy are napping on the couch together, as adorable as always. I decide to leave them be for now, sitting down at the kitchen table to work on my homework from this morning.

My phone ringing breaks the silence and I quickly answer it, hoping it hasn't woken Edward.

"_Hi, Bella_," Esme greets me. "_Do you know where Edward is? He isn't answering his phone._"

"He's asleep on the couch," I reply, looking toward the living room. "Or rather, he was," I add, seeing him sitting up and stretching. I hold my hand over the phone for a moment. "It's your mom," I call to him.

Nodding, he stands up, then comes to take the phone from me. "Hi, Mom."

I try not to eavesdrop on Edward's half of the conversation, but I can tell that they're having a disagreement of sorts. Finally he ends the call, handing the phone back to me.

"Mom wanted to make some big deal about the anniversary," he says. "But I really don't feel like going out for a nice dinner tonight. She said they'd pick something up and be over around six."

"Ok," I agree. "Whatever you want to do." It is his day, after all.

When the doorbell rings, I make Edward get up to answer it. The moment his mom sees him, she's through the door and hugging him tightly. Smiling, I take the bags of food from Carlisle so he can get in on the family hug.

I grab some plates and silverware, then start setting up dinner at the kitchen table. As I pull a box out of one bag, I peek through the plastic top at the cupcakes inside.

"Those are for dessert," Esme smiles, and I set them on the kitchen counter for now.

"Meow!" Daisy comes running as soon as we've sat down, likely smelling the food, though she's not really a fan of Italian. Except pizza crusts; she loves to lick the pizza sauce off of those.

"I might have something for you," Carlisle teases. _Like father, like son._

Daisy eagerly trots over to him, and he pulls a small bag of cat treats out of his pants pocket. We all laugh as Daisy gets up on her back legs, her paws on his leg as she tries to steal the piece out of his hand. Whatever is in that bag is like crack to her, even more than wet food.

After dinner, Esme opens the box of four huge gourmet cupcakes from a local bakery. "Those look amazing," I gush. I wish I hadn't eaten quite so much of my lasagna.

Once Edward has chosen the cupcake that's topped with a huge mountain of chocolate frosting, she pulls a candle out of the box and sticks it in that one, urging him to light the candle.

"It's not my birthday," he chuckles, but he pulls out his lighter anyway.

"It's your rebirth-day," she smiles. "Now make a wish."

He gives me a sly grin as he blows out the candle — a grin which goes straight between my legs.

I take the first bite of my cupcake and Edward immediately starts laughing. "What?" I ask, confused.

"You have frosting on your nose," he smiles.

I immediately reach up with my finger to wipe it off, then stare at the dollop of vanilla buttercream frosting on my finger. I suck my finger into my mouth, trying to tease him a bit — though it probably doesn't have the same effect on Edward as most guys, given his feelings about blowjobs.

Once he's mostly finished, Edward runs his pinky through the frosting left on the wrapper and calls to Daisy.

"Edward," his mother scolds. "Cats aren't supposed to have chocolate."

He looks over at me, a calculating look on his face. "Let me have some of yours for her." Before I can answer, he licks his finger clean — which has much more of an effect on _me_ — then gets some of my vanilla frosting on his finger. He holds it out to Daisy and she happily licks it clean, then licks her mouth adorably as she sits there waiting for more.

"You spoil her," I chuckle.

"I spoil you too," he replies with a wink. And once his parents have gone home, he gives me a very thorough demonstration.

* * *

**A/N:** A bit of a bittersweet chapter, in between the cuteness. Edward is opening up to Bella more and more.

For those who were worried, Victoria didn't break her promise, and she didn't use Edward's last name in the article at all. It'd be pretty tough for any of their new friends to identify him if they happen to read the article.

Next update on **Tuesday**.

* * *

Voting in the "Meet the Mate" contest runs through next Thursday! How many entries have _you_ read?

Fanfiction dot net /u/6798308/MeetTheMateContest


	34. The Test

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story! We've broken 2,000 Followers now! Lots of new readers since Friday, so welcome!

Everyone was glad to see Victoria keep her word, and that Edward is starting to open up to Bella.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 34 — The Test_

Thursday, May 5, is what is known as our "reading day" at UA. Yesterday was the last day of classes, and final exams begin tomorrow. It's an absolutely gorgeous day outside, and Edward is enjoying the sunshine out on the balcony, while I'm stuck sitting at the kitchen table studying for tomorrow's final.

"Meow!" I hear Daisy announce her presence, and seconds later she's jumped up onto the table and is sniffing around my books. She's eight months old now, and it seems like she's going to be a fairly small cat; however, there's pretty much nothing in the apartment that she can't reach by jumping.

"Edward is outside," I tell her, as if she understands me. She was fast asleep when he went out there after lunch, or he likely would've taken her with him.

Picking up my bottle of water, I take a long sip then set it back down. I reach over my book to pull my laptop closer, and as Daisy investigates what I'm doing, her tail thwacks into the bottle of water, knocking it over.

"Shit!" I yell, knocking my chair over backwards in my haste to stand up. I quickly set the bottle upright and shove my book out of the way of the growing puddle, then run to grab a dish towel.

I wipe off my wet shorts first, then start drying the table. "Move," I order Daisy, who's trying to drink up the spilled water, just as I hear the door opening from the balcony. "I swear your tail should be registered as a lethal weapon," I growl, tossing the soaked towel down and turning the chair upright.

"Hey, hey," Edward says, walking up to me. "Are you yelling at my kitten?"

"Your damn kitten knocked over my bottle of water."

He glances at the table, then shrugs. "It's all right, Bella; your things didn't get wet." He cocks his head as he stares at me, then narrows his eyes. "It's just water — why are you so upset?"

I sigh, rubbing at my forehead. "I'm just… finals start tomorrow and I'm stressed. I didn't mean to take it out on Daisy."

"Bullshit. You're acing your classes."

"But finals are such a large portion of our grades…" I protest.

Edward frowns, stepping closer to me. He gently grasps my face in his hands, making me look up at him. "Now who's shutting who out?" he asks quietly. "What's going on, Bella?"

"Nothing," I sigh. "It's… I'm sure it's nothing." I've never kept anything from Edward before, but this time, I don't think I have a choice.

"So there's something."

"I'm 95-percent sure it's nothing, so I don't want to upset you needlessly." Not until I know for sure that there's any reason to be upset. I'm more stressed about his reaction than anything else.

"Bella—" he begins in warning tone. "Tell me what is going on with you."

I gently remove his hands from my face, keeping them entwined with mine, then take a deep breath. "I'm late."

Edward's brow furrows. "You don't have any finals today."

"Not… that kind of late."

He still looks confused for a moment, before his eyes widen and his face turns as white as a sheet. He drops my hands, taking a step back.

"You're pregnant?" he cries.

"No! At least… I mean, probably not, but my period is two days late. I've never seen it vary by more than about 12 hours since I went on birth control three years ago. But that's just it, I'm on the pill, and I checked them this morning — I haven't missed any. The chances that I'm pregnant are really small. My body is probably just a bit off kilter from stressing about finals."

Edward begins pacing back and forth, his hands tearing at his hair, and Daisy wisely scurries out of the room. "This cannot be happening," he mutters repeatedly.

"Edward, relax! It's probably nothing." And after this reaction, I really, really hope it's nothing.

"How soon can you take a test and find out?" he asks desperately.

"I—now, I guess. I mean, I think some pregnancy tests can work even before a missed period." I'd actually thought of going to buy one this morning while Edward was out jogging, but if he'd found it in the trash…?

"So what are you waiting for? Go buy a test."

I stare at my boyfriend, at the almost crazed look on his face. I wondered if Daisy might have warmed him up to the idea of children one day, but… obviously not. I kind of want to call him out on ordering me around, but he's clearly barely keeping it together.

"Ok," I reply softly, picking up my purse and the car keys. "Just sit down and relax, Edward. I'll be right back."

I drive to the nearby Safeway, finding the family planning aisle. So many different brands of tests, it's almost overwhelming. I grab one in a pink package, quickly scanning the information on the back. It claims to be over 99% accurate from the day of your missed period.

Good enough for me.

I pay for the test, then hurry back to our apartment. When I arrive, I notice the door to the balcony is open. Edward obviously hears me come in, because he's inside within seconds, looking at me expectantly.

"Um, I'll go do this now." I start walking down the hallway to our bedroom, with Edward hot on my heels. When I realize he's coming into the bathroom with me, I turn around, halting him with my hand. "I need to pee on this! I'll call you when I'm done."

Shaking my head, I close the door then open the box, pulling out the test stick and the folded page of instructions. I read over them quickly then sit down to pee on the stick. Replacing the cap when I'm through, I set the stick on the counter before flushing.

"Bella," Edward knocks on the door before I've even got my pants zipped. I hastily wash my hands then move to open it.

"It takes three minutes," I inform him. I set the timer on my phone for a little less than that, then wrap my arms around him. "It's gonna be all right, Edward. No matter what, we'll face it together."

As I hug him tightly, I can hear him trying to control his breathing. _This_ is why I didn't want to tell him that I'm late. I don't feel ready to be a mother right now by any means, but if fate has given me a child, I'll make the best of it.

I'm just not sure I'll have Edward by my side.

When the timer goes off, he picks up the stick before I have a chance, his brow furrowing. "Th-there's a line," he whispers.

"Just one?" I clarify, and he nods. I let out the breath I've been holding. "Two lines means pregnant; one means not pregnant."

He stumbles back a few steps, leaning his head against the wall and squeezing his eyes closed.

"I told you it was probably nothing." Taking his hand in mine, I squeeze it gently. "Come on."

I lead him out of the bathroom, bringing him to lie down with me on our bed, where Daisy is waiting for us. "Sorry, Daisy," I apologize to her for earlier, rubbing her head gently, then turn to my boyfriend.

"It's ok," I whisper, brushing Edward's hair back, as I try to get my heart to stop racing. "Would it really have been the end of the world? Accidents _do_ happen sometimes; it's a consequence of having sex. What would you have done if the test had been positive?"

"What would _you_ have done?" he whispers.

"I would've loved my child; I'd love anything that's a part of you."

"You would've kept it?"

"Yes, of course. Even if it's not the best time, I believe we could've made it work."

"I'm so glad we don't have to. I can't handle being a parent, Bella. I'm sorry," he whispers fervently, and I frown.

We lie tangled together for a few minutes, kissing softly, before I really need to get back to my books.

"I'm gonna go study, ok?" I'm sure Edward is in good hands with his kitten.

I sit back down at the table and after a few minutes, the two of them head outside. Hours later, I order some pizza for dinner than call Edward in to eat.

He's pretty silent throughout dinner, so as soon as I've put the leftovers away, I steer him onto the couch to talk. "Are you mad at me?"

"What?! No, of course not. If anything, I'm mad at myself."

"For having sex with me?" I ask in confusion. If he says he's planning to _stop_ having sex with me, I may scream, and not in a good way.

"For leaving birth control up to you. I'm the one who's adamant about not having children, so I should be the one to do something about it." He stops, taking a deep breath. "I should take care of it… permanently."

I gasp, my eyes widening. "You mean get a vasectomy?"

He nods.

"Edward… don't you think you're totally overreacting? You really need to think this through before doing something so drastic. I mean, what if you change your mind one day. What—"

"I won't. I won't change my mind. Are you changing your mind?"

"No," I sigh. "I think I'd be happy either way, so I'll go along with whatever you want. I'd just hate to see you making a hasty decision because of a pregnancy scare and then later come to regret it.

"And besides… having a vasectomy would mean seeing a doctor, and…" I stop at his grimace; he got my point.

"I admit that it would be very difficult for me, but never again having to feel like I did this afternoon would be worth it," he insists.

I frown. "This is really something that needs to be a joint decision. Just promise me you'll think long and hard about this, and talk to me — and Dr. Banner — first."

"I promise."

* * *

Still no period on Friday. I know home tests are pretty much as accurate as anything you could get at a doctor's office, but what if I did something wrong? There were a lot of complicated instructions about holding the stick under the urine stream for only five seconds and making sure it's pointed downward when you put the cap back on.

And so, after my Physics final, I head to the Campus Health clinic, walking up to the receptionist.

"Do you have an appointment?" she asks.

"Um, no, but… I'd like to talk with someone and take a pregnancy test." She hands me a clipboard with a form to fill out, and I take a seat in the waiting area.

When my name is called, I explain to the nurse practitioner that my period is now three days late, though I had a negative result on a home test yesterday. She retests me and I sit nervously on the examining table as I wait.

The nurse is smiling as she walks back into the room. "You're not pregnant, Bella."

I breathe a huge sigh of relief. "I was pretty sure the test was right, but my boyfriend is really freaking out, so I wanted to double check."

"He doesn't want children right now?" she questions.

"Doesn't want them _at all_. Last night he floated the idea of getting a vasectomy."

Her eyes widen. "I don't know many doctors who would perform that procedure on a young man."

"Um, well, my boyfriend is actually quite a bit older than me," I confess.

"Are you ok with never having children?"

"I am, if that's what he needs. But he might change his mind one day, and then what?"

"Hmm…" The nurse looks over my chart, then nods. "So you've been on birth control pills for three years?"

"Yeah… I started getting them for heavy periods, before I was even sexually active."

"Birth control pills are very effective, though less so if not taken regularly. Perhaps your boyfriend would be appeased if you switch methods to something less prone to user error?" she suggests.

"Like the shot or something?"

"Yes, the Depo-Provera shot is quite a bit easier; you only need to remember to get a shot every 12 weeks. A hormonal implant that lasts three years would be even easier, though we don't do those here, so you'd have to find a different provider."

"But you could give me the shot now?" I ask. She's right that it may be enough to appease Edward.

"I could, yes. Because we're not in the first seven days of your period, you'd need back-up birth control for the next seven days. However, if it shows up as expected within the next day or so, that shouldn't be much of an issue. You could always switch to the implant in 12 weeks."

I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Let's do it."

* * *

When I get home the apartment is quiet except for Daisy running to greet me, so I check the balcony — no Edward. I send him a text, and he replies a minute later that he's in the fitness center and should be back shortly. I'd texted him earlier to let him know that I was going to be home late, but I didn't tell him why.

I try not to ogle my boyfriend when he walks in the door, wiping his sweaty face with the bottom of his t-shirt. This is most definitely not the time.

"Come here for a minute," I propose and he walks over to sit beside me. "How was your appointment with Dr. Banner this afternoon?"

"Fine. How was your test?"

"Good," I reply, ignoring his change of subject. "I think I did well. Um, after my exam I stopped by the Women's Health Clinic on campus. I took another pregnancy test, and it was also negative."

"Good," he breathes.

"Birth control pills are over 99-percent effective when taken properly, but the nurse I spoke with suggested that you might be more comfortable if I switch methods to something less susceptible to user error."

Edward's head snaps up and he stares at me, not speaking.

"So I got the Depo-Provera shot today. I'm good for 12 weeks now; I don't have to remember to take a pill every day. Ok? Is that enough to stop last night's crazy talk of getting a vasectomy?"

"It's not crazy, Bella," he whispers.

"I think it is — at least when you're still in therapy, still getting better every day." Can he really not see how much better he is than a year ago at this time?

"Ok," he sighs.

"Ok, what?"

"Ok, I'll… let you handle the birth control for now."

I let out a breath, reaching over to hug him. "I'm all sweaty," he chuckles, fending me off as he stands up. "I'm gonna take a shower, then… maybe we can go out for dinner?"

"Sounds good," I smile.

* * *

After dinner, I've barely set foot in the door when I feel the telltale cramping. Without saying anything to Edward, I head straight for our bathroom, saying a silent prayer of thanks.

After my dose of Midol, I come out to find Edward sitting on the couch with Daisy on his lap. I raise an eyebrow and he moves her — against her wishes — to the cushion next to him. Ignoring her glare, I climb onto her vacated spot so that I'm straddling him, twining my arms around his neck.

"It's official," I tell him.

"What is?" he asks, brow furrowed.

"I got my period, so… no more fears that the tests could be wrong."

He closes his eyes, and I lean forward, kissing him softly. "Would it really be that bad? Having a baby with me?"

"Bella…" He opens his eyes, giving me the most heartbreaking look, but I'm not going to let him get out of answering me — not this time.

"No, I'm serious. I know this wouldn't have been the best time for us, but… you are so good with Daisy. I think you'd be an amazing father."

"Even if she thinks she's human, Daisy's a _cat_. It's not the same thing."

"She was a helpless little creature who needed love," I argue. "You have so much love in you, Edward."

"But I'm not strong enough for everything that comes with being a father — I know I'm not. I'm still too fucked up."

"But maybe one day you won't be," I tell him gently, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. "I know you said don't count on that, but I have faith in you, Edward."

He shakes his head, swallowing thickly. "As much as it would kill me, if a baby is something you really want, then I need to let you go so that you can find someone who can give you that."

"I'm not saying that I want it," I plead. "I just think you shouldn't close that door completely. You have no idea how you'll feel in a few years."

"In a few years, I'll be over 40, Bella!"

"I'm just asking you to keep an open mind — that's all."

"I can't see myself ever being comfortable with the idea of being responsible for a new human life. I'm sorry, but this is something where we can't ever compromise. Please don't push this," he begs.

"I'm not pushing you. It's not something we need to discuss again. I'm ok with it if you never want a child, I promise. But don't you ever talk about walking away from me again."

Edward gives me a tiny smile. "It would kill me," he whispers.

"It would kill me, too. I love you so much." I kiss him — hard — before he can say it back.

* * *

**A/N:** Daisy would like to take a curtain call after her starring role at the beginning of this chapter.

All right, I know you all must have something to say about this one! Was Bella right to try to keep her suspicions to herself? Was Edward totally overreacting? Are you glad the test was negative or did you want it to be positive? Could he handle fatherhood?

Next update on **Friday**.

* * *

Voting in the "Meet the Mate" contest runs through Thursday!

Fanfiction dot net /u/6798308/MeetTheMateContest


	35. The Job

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story!

Wow, you guys did have a lot to say after the last chapter! Responses were all over the map, with some angry with Edward and some with Bella. The majority feel that Edward shouldn't close the door on the idea that he may change his mind about a baby one day.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 35 — The Job_

After the pregnancy scare, things go back to normal for us pretty quickly. I'm a little worried that Edward will be afraid to touch me again, but he's all over me as soon as I give him the go ahead that the shot should be fully effective.

Once finals are over, Edward surprises me with a trip to Lake Havasu, just the two of us — Daisy is staying with his parents. We have an amazing time just relaxing and being together. After last week's stress, it's exactly what I need to reassure myself that I've made the right choice in being with Edward. Yes, he still has some lingering issues, but he's so much better than he was a year ago. In hindsight, I realize that Dr. Jenks was probably right last summer, when he said it was too soon for Edward to be in a relationship. He's come so far though; one day he'll be healed from his past trauma, I know it.

After our long weekend away, it's back to reality and time to start my summer job. Sure, I _could_ just spend the summer by the pool with my boyfriend, but I'd feel kind of guilty living off of everyone else's money like that. I talked to my advisor last month about finding an internship related to my major, but apparently most of them require completion of at least sophomore year.

My next thought had been to try the bakery department at the Safeway, but they weren't looking to hire just for the summer. I applied for a few jobs at the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum, which is located just west of Tucson, and they offered me a part-time position working in one of their snack shops. The shop is only open from 10:30 to 2:30 so I still have lots of time to spend with Edward. I'd like to do more with sustainability in the museum, but… maybe next year.

Edward and I are floating together in the pool one afternoon in late May when Emmett comes by. We hardly see either him or Rose these days. She's completed her Master's and now has an internship at a law firm _and_ is studying for the Bar exam. And oh yeah, they're planning to move into a house nearby soon.

"Got a minute, Edward?" Emmett asks.

"Sure, yeah." He climbs out of the pool, then walks over to where we left our towels, drying off. Emmett says something to him, but I can't hear it from the pool.

"Aren't you coming?" Edward calls back to me, holding my towel out. I'd thought this was a man-to-man chat, but I hurriedly climb out of the water and take it from him.

Since Edward wants something to drink, I toss my cover-up over my head and we lead Emmett back to our apartment. "Emmett, would you like a drink also?" I offer.

"Sure, a beer would be great, thanks." Since Edward and I are wet, the three of us take a seat at the kitchen table after I've grabbed their beers.

"So," Emmett begins, "One of my guys quit last week, and I wanted to offer you the position."

My eyes widen at the offer. I think it's a great idea for Edward to work for Emmett; the job would certainly not be a cubicle job.

Edward frowns, staring at his bottle of beer. "I-I don't know, Em. I don't know anything about landscaping or lawn care."

"Don't worry about that," he dismisses. "First of all, it's not rocket science. But I think you're a smart guy. You don't have a job, I need more help — it's a win-win," he shrugs.

"But… you know nothing about me," Edward whispers.

"Of course I do," Emmett replies, his brow furrowed. "We've been friends for months."

"You don't know _why_ I don't have a job. You don't know that I've… I've never had a job," he finishes in a whisper. I stare at Edward, hardly able to believe that he's finally admitted that to his friend.

"What do you mean, _never_? Of course you've had a job before; you're older than I am."

"No, I really haven't."

Emmett's eyes narrow as he stares at Edward. "I know it's not because you're lazy. Are you going to tell me what's going on with you?"

Edward stares down at the table, looking like he wants to be sick. A part of me wants to tell Emmett for him, but I know he needs to say the words himself.

"I need a cigarette for this," Edward grumbles. I reach over and take his hand, rubbing my thumb over the back of it.

"Just come out with it, man. It can't be that bad."

"I was in prison," he spits out. "For 18 years, I was in prison." He rips his hand out of mine, standing up and making a beeline for the balcony.

When I turn back to Emmett, his mouth is gaping. "That is impossible," he finally mutters.

"No, it's not," I whisper.

"What the fuck? There is no way that he… No, I'll never believe he committed a crime that could've earned him 18 years in prison."

I bite my lip, wanting so badly to tell him that Edward was innocent. "Wait until he can explain."

Emmett takes a long drink of his beer, looking expectantly at the balcony door. "He'll come back after he finishes his cigarette, right?"

I shrug. I hope so, but I can't really say for sure. "I'll go get him in a couple minutes if he hasn't."

I stand up to fetch Emmett another beer, then head to our bedroom. Trying not to wake up Daisy, who's asleep on our bed, I rifle through the small desk to find the copy of _Time_ magazine with Victoria Laurent's article on exonerated prisoners. I flip to the correct page, using my finger to mark the place as I walk back into the kitchen.

Just after I've sat down, Edward does come back, looking slightly less green. He sits heavily in his chair at the table, then takes a swig of his beer.

"Are you going to explain that bombshell?" Emmett asks.

Edward sighs, then nods. "When I was 18, I was arrested for the rape and murder of a 16-year-old girl. Even though I was innocent, I was found guilty and sentenced to death."

"Fuck…"

"I was released last year after old DNA evidence was tested and the results pointed to another man who was already in prison for a similar crime."

Emmett drains the rest of his second beer, then scrubs his hand over his face. "You're telling me you lost half your life for something you didn't even do?"

Edward nods, staring down at the table, and I hand Emmett the magazine. He takes a couple of minutes to read over the article, then looks up at Edward.

"That's fucked up, man. I thought you seemed cagey about your past, but… Wow, that is not at all what I was expecting."

Edward just shrugs, not speaking.

"So you said in the article that you don't want to work in a cubicle — that's certainly not what I'm offering," Emmett chuckles. "How about it?"

Edward stares at his friend for several moments. "You still want to hire me?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Emmett asks, brow furrowed. "You were innocent. And don't even try to tell me you can't do the job. You were really planning to be a doctor? Hell, you're overqualified for this. It's not an easy job physically, but I know you can handle it."

"I don't know," he replies. "I'm still fucked up. I see a therapist twice a week."

"You might have to swap your appointment times around, but I can work around that," Emmett offers. "In the summer, we usually start our day by 6:30 in the morning since it gets really fucking hot here from May through September.

"Come on, what do you say?"

"I don't know, Em. Can I think about it?" he begs.

"Yeah, of course you can. I really do need to hire someone though, so could you give me an answer by this weekend? If you don't want the job, I need to get the word out that we're hiring."

"All right," Edward agrees.

* * *

After dinner, when the temperature has cooled down a bit, Edward and I take a walk around our apartment complex, hand in hand. In his other hand, he's walking, or rather, being walked by, Daisy. Edward bought her a leash and harness so that she can safely enjoy the outdoors with us.

"You think I should take the job," he states with a sigh.

"Yeah, I do," I nod. "It's outside, like you wanted, and Emmett is bound to be a cool, understanding boss. I know you're more than capable of learning whatever he plans to teach you."

"Being part of a team of people, though…" he shakes his head. "The idea is still kind of foreign to me."

"Didn't you say that half of Emmett's team hardly speaks English? They probably won't even notice if you don't say much. They'll just think you're a shy, quiet guy."

"Maybe," he allows.

"It's not something you have to turn into a career if you don't like it. It can just be a job, a chance to get some experience and see how you do. I really think you're ready for this, Edward. I have faith in you."

"You have more faith in me than I deserve sometimes," he mutters. And _I_ think he underestimates himself.

"I'm your girlfriend, and I love you — it's my job."

He grins at me, swinging our joined hands up and kissing the back of mine. "I'll take the job. I want to make you proud of me. I suppose this means we're gonna need to get a second car," he grins.

* * *

Edward starts working for Emmett the following Wednesday. I text Emmett, asking him to take my boyfriend out for a beer at a nearby sports bar after work to celebrate his first day, so that I'll have time to get home from my own job and put my plan into action.

Rushing in the door, I take a quick shower then get dressed in my interview outfit — gray pencil skirt, white pinstriped blouse and pumps. Once I've put my hair up in a bun, I open the dresser drawer, pulling out the box holding the pearl earrings and necklace that used to belong to my great-grandmother.

Call it a sexier version of a 1950s housewife.

Emmett texts me once they've left the sports bar — Edward rode to work with Emmett today so I could have the car — with a five-minute warning. I baked some chocolate chip cookies before heading to work this morning, so I set out a half dozen on a plate, then stand near the front door holding it.

I'm so ridiculous proud of Edward for taking the job. It was time for him to take a first step toward a real future. After a minute or two, the door opens and Edward steps inside, stopping short when he sees me.

"What is this?" he chuckles, and I'm relieved to see he's in a good mood.

"Welcome home, dear," I greet him with a huge smile. "Cookie?" I hold out the plate.

"My hands are filthy," he argues. He's wearing cargo shorts and his legs are pretty much dirt-colored, so he's not exaggerating.

Smiling, I pick up one of the cookies and feed it to him. "Yummy," he grins, licking his lips. "This is great, Bella. Thank you."

"Meow!" Daisy comes running out of our bedroom, sniffing around Edward's feet. I set the cookies down on the kitchen counter, then pick her up, holding her up so Edward can bump noses with her — an Eskimo kiss.

"I really need a shower. And then I need you." He pecks my lips, heading down the hallway.

"I think I'm gonna get lucky, Daisy Girl," I whisper to her, then set her back down on the floor. She goes running after Edward, but he's probably already got the bathroom door closed.

I decide to put away the remaining cookies — the kitten is more than capable of jumping up onto the kitchen counter — then make my way to the bedroom. We do not need an audience, so I shoo Daisy out, closing the door behind her.

Once I'm alone, I sit on the end of the bed, crossing my legs. The water is still running in the shower, so I've got a few more minutes. I could start taking my clothes off, but Edward didn't tell me to get naked. It's more fun when he takes my clothes off, anyway.

Once the water has shut off, my body starts buzzing in anticipation. The door opens soon after, and the shirtless Edward who appears in the doorway wrapped in a towel takes my breath away.

"You're beautiful," I breathe before I can stop myself.

He gives me my favorite crooked grin, stalking over to me. Bending down, he places his hands on the bed on either side of my hips, then kisses me softly.

"So what is the point of this get-up?" he asks curiously.

"I'm your perfect housewife, welcoming her man home from a long day at work."

"Ah," he smiles, running his finger down my neck. He lifts my necklace for a moment, then lays it back down.

"From my great-grandmother."

"Take it off," he orders softly, biting his lip. I hurriedly obey, placing my necklace in Edward's outstretched palm. "And the earrings," he adds. Once I've done that, he lays the pieces carefully on top of the dresser, then comes back to me.

"Stand up," he whispers. I'm no dummy — I waste no time getting off the bed. Grasping my face gently, Edward kisses me long, slow and deep, making me crave him even more. As we kiss, his hands drift down, and he tugs my blouse out of my skirt. His nimble fingers work the buttons, and then he pushes it off of my shoulders.

I help him out a little bit, undoing the hook and zipper on the back of my skirt, then Edward removes it and I step out of the fabric and my shoes.

When he kisses me again, I bring my hands up, exploring all of the dips and valleys in his muscular chest. As I brush them over his abs, my thumbs touch the top of the towel, and I wonder… Would he let me take it off now? Unwrapping a towel can't be as bad as removing his pants, right?

He seems fairly distracted by kissing me, so I tug gently where the towel is folded under, sliding my hands down until the towel falls to the ground.

Edward pulls away from my mouth, and I think maybe he's going to be angry or freaked out or something, but instead, he climbs onto the bed, bringing me with him. _Success!_ We end up lying on our sides, facing each other, as he pulls me close and starts kissing me again.

I carefully roll him onto his back, lifting my left leg until I'm straddling his waist. Edward's arms come around me, deftly unsnapping my bra. He kneads my breasts in his large hands, then beckons me closer until he can wrap his talented lips around my nipple.

"Oh fuck," I moan, and he pulls his mouth away, smirking at me. I scoot back so that I can kiss him again, while his hands touch every inch of skin they can reach.

When I feel brave enough, I begin kissing my way down from his mouth, while sliding back and forth over his hard cock. By the time I've reached his happy trail, I'm expecting him to stop me, but he doesn't.

Still, I need to take this slow if I'm going to be daring enough to try it for the first time in seven months. I lick my right hand a few times then wrap it around his cock, slowly working it up and down. He moans and I smile, always loving when he allows me to take care of him and make him feel good.

"Edward?" I ask softly. "Can I put my mouth on you?"

He swallows thickly, then nods. "Just for a minute or two. And go slow."

"Ok," I whisper. Moving my hand to the base of his cock, I lick from base to tip, then slide the head into my mouth. I swirl my tongue around then suck hard.

As I repeat my moves a few times, I never take my eyes off of Edward's. He seems to be doing ok, so after a few more licks, I slide about half of his cock into my mouth, then concentrate on the head for maybe 15 seconds.

"Stop now," he says softly.

I pull my mouth off with a pop, then climb off him and remove my panties. I plan to climb right back on and ride him, but instead he pounces on me, laying me back and burying himself inside me in one thrust.

"Oh God," I yell. Edward takes my hands, holding them up above my head as he acts like it's his mission in life to make me see stars. He licks and sucks at my neck, and I'm almost sure I'll have a hickey by tomorrow. I want to touch him, but all I can do is wrap my legs around his waist, trying to meet his thrusts.

"Edward… oh God…" I chant over and over until my orgasm ripples through me.

"Fuck!" he yells, burying himself deep inside me as he comes.

Edward collapses on top of me, breathing heavily, then finally releases my hands and lifts his head. I smile at him as he gently caresses my face, then pucker my lips for a kiss. He stares at them for a moment before giving me a brief kiss.

"I love you," he whispers.

"I love you too. And I am so proud of you right now."

"I couldn't have done it without you. Can I have another cookie?"

* * *

**A/N:** Edward's got a job! And he finally told Emmett that he'd been in prison. Two huge steps for him in the first half of the chapter.

Bella aged her man a bit by trying to be a 1950s housewife. ;) Another two big steps for Edward in the second half of the chapter, letting Bella remove his towel and put her mouth on him again.

I bought a harness and leash for my cat many years ago. Unfortunately, she always wriggled out of it before I could tighten the straps. Total fail.

This was the final regular chapter! The first part of the Epilogue will post on **Tuesday** as we jump forward a few years.


	36. The Epilogue, Part 1

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story!

Yes, it's really almost over! I always intended to end the story once Edward got a job and was basically living a normal life. He still has some remaining issues from his PTSD, of course, but I imagine his recovery from that would be pretty slow. You'd all accuse me of dragging out the story if I tried to follow his entire path to recovery!

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

**Sorry FF wouldn't let anyone update on Tuesday!**

* * *

_Chapter 36 — The Epilogue, Part 1_

_Three years later_

Since the students enrolled in the College of Architecture, Planning &amp; Landscape Architecture are such a small, close knit group, the whole gang gets together and decides to have one huge graduation party for our entire class, renting out the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum for the event. The museum's patio is filled with all of our family and friends.

Even my dad has come down from Forks to see me graduate. I've been back to visit him each summer — without Edward — and my dad has spent every other Christmas with us here in Tucson. After Edward and I left Forks, Dad started dating again, and he got married to a widow named Sue over the summer between my sophomore and junior years.

My stepmother seems to be really good for my dad. She's made him believe in love again, and he's come a long way toward accepting Edward over the years, seeing how happy we are together. I credit Sue with helping him to see that love is blind.

Edward has also come a long way from the man I first met in Forks, prospering in the job he took with Emmett three years ago. From the very beginning, Emmett began teaching his new protégé about various plants — what type of soil they thrive in, how much light they need, how much water they need. Before the end of the summer, Edward was able to help his boss choose which plants to use in landscape plans for clients.

But he didn't stop there. One day he made some suggestions about the design itself to Emmett, who loved the ideas. On their next job, he let Edward take a first stab at coming up with a plan, and we all discovered that Esme's design sense had been passed down after all. Edward had so much inherent talent that he was quickly promoted to a position as a landscape architect, doing most of the design work for Emmett's company and allowing Emmett himself to focus on managing his team.

After my sophomore year, I switched my focus to an emphasis on Sustainable Landscapes, which means that Edward and I will be working together, at least in some way. Of course, I checked with him first, and he was all for it.

I've suggested to Edward that he should start his own business, but he doesn't feel comfortable taking the lead on meeting with potential clients or with the idea of managing other employees. He'd still be considered shy by most people who meet him, but honestly, so are a lot of people who've never been through what he has.

I'm just thrilled that he does seem to really enjoy his job, and I think that's all I could've asked for him. He's doing meaningful work, and he gets paid a decent salary — though of course it's not really an issue thanks to the compensation he got from the state of Washington. That money has been invested with a financial advisor, and I think I'm more hesitant about spending it than he is.

In just a few weeks, we'll be spending some of Edward's money when we close on the purchase of our first house. We love our neighborhood on the west side of Tucson, so that's the only area we looked in. Esme is going to decorate the three bedroom home for us, though she's been mostly retired from her original career for a long time.

I couldn't be more excited to finally be done with school and begin the rest of our lives together.

* * *

After the graduation party, we drop Dad and Sue off at their hotel, then head home. Daisy greets us enthusiastically at the door, as always. I swear, she thinks she's a dog. Edward reaches down to pet her, then walks straight into the kitchen, grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge and takes a long sip.

"Man, it's getting hot out there already and it's only early May," he complains, and I laugh at him; it's hot every year by this time. "So what was up with Alice today?"

Cue the deer in headlights look. "Wh-what do you mean?"

He shrugs. "She's usually the life of the party, but she seemed kind of subdued today. And she was only drinking water, which is really odd for her."

"Maybe she was just trying to behave in front of her mother," I suggest.

And while that may be true, I know that the real reason she's not drinking is because she's nine weeks pregnant. I only found out myself a few days ago, when I questioned why she wasn't drinking at our usual finals-are-over party.

Alice is waiting until the end of her first trimester to really spread the word, but I'm sure she'd trust me to tell Edward. I don't really want to though — not until I have to. I'm a bit afraid of his reaction to the first of my friends expecting a baby. Will he think that I want one next?

We haven't discussed the subject since my pregnancy scare three years ago, though I still believe Edward could be an amazing father. I know that this is something I can't push him on; if he changes his mind, he'll tell me. It's not like I'd be ready for a child right now anyway, not when I'm about to start my first full-time job.

"I'm gonna change out of these clothes," Edward says, Alice all but forgotten. "Come on, Daisy!"

My eyes narrow a bit at why he needs Daisy's "help" to change out of his khakis and polo shirt. Hell, she'd probably follow him anyway, even without asking her to.

I sit heavily on the couch, pulling my shoes off and rubbing my aching feet. I will never get used to wearing high heels.

I assume Edward's gone to get the surprise he said he had for me later. Given the odd way he's been acting — and the secret conversations he's been having with my dad since he arrived yesterday — I'm pretty sure it's an engagement ring.

I'm so ready to tell him yes.

I can't say that everything has been easy over the last four years, but Edward has come so far in his recovery. After he started working for Emmett, he dropped back to once a week sessions with Dr. Banner, and he still sees his therapist about once a month. I've gone along to a handful of sessions, and it's really nice to get things off my chest. He quit smoking a year ago, and I was so glad when he finally did; I want him to be around for a long, long time.

Last year, Edward finally told me about the horrors he'd experienced during his first few years in prison. I know that trusting me enough to tell me — trusting that I wouldn't run away once I knew — was a huge step for him. I'd imagined so many scenarios over the years, and it was heartbreaking to learn that pretty much everything I'd imagined was correct. But I didn't run; I never would. I held him all night when he finally told me, and the experience definitely brought us closer. Demonstrating his trust in me like that proved to me that he was as committed to our relationship as I've always been.

I'm startled when I hear Daisy's footsteps on the hardwood floor. She walks toward the couch, then stops, sits back on her haunches, and meows at me. "What's that around your neck, Daisy?" It looks like a collar of some sort, but as an indoor cat, she never wears one. She was microchipped not long after we got her, in case she ever escapes and gets lost.

"Come here, Girl." And of course, since she's a _cat_, she just cocks her head and stares at me. "Daisy, come here!" I slap my thigh a couple of times and she trots over, jumping up onto my lap. Sure enough, she's wearing a hot pink collar, with a princess charm hanging from it. But when I look closer at the charm, I see something else attached to it. Something sparkly.

While I've been staring at the collar, Edward has somehow made his way into the living room, kneeling down in front of me.

"Is—is this—?"

He smiles gently, unclipping the ring from Daisy's collar and holding it out to me. "Daisy and I would like to ask you to officially join our family."

"I thought she was already _our_ cat?" I ask in jest, tears starting to prick at my eyes.

"Four years ago, I had no dreams or hopes for the future. I didn't think that a normal life would be possible for me. Somehow, you crashed your way into my life, promising that you'd always be there. I have to confess that I didn't believe you at the time. Yet even when you learned the ugly truth, you didn't give up, you didn't leave me."

"Never, Edward," I whisper.

"I can't wait any longer to officially call you mine. I love you so much, and I know that much of what I've achieved in the last four years would never have been possible without you. Isabella Swan, would you do me the extraordinary honor of becoming my wife?"

"Yes!" I cry, and he climbs up onto the couch, kissing me with the same passion and love I feel for him — until Daisy starts trying to paw her way in between us. "Good job, Girl," I praise her, scratching under her chin.

Edward takes my left hand in his, sliding the engagement ring onto my finger. I hold my hand out, looking at the way the striking, gorgeous ring sparkles in the light. "It's beautiful," I breathe.

"The main diamond came from my grandmother's wedding ring — the one in Seattle who died two years ago. I got it re-set for you, into something more modern."

"What are the darker stones?" I ask, looking at the tiny stones swirling around the large, round center diamond.

"Chocolate diamonds," he answers. "In honor of the way you won my heart with chocolate chip cookies. When I saw this setting, it was so unique, I couldn't resist."

"I love it," I tell him honestly. "Now, tell me the truth — did you Google cute ways to propose?"

"Maaaayyybe," he grins, then sobers. "Are you sure you want to marry a 40-year-old man?"

"Definitely." I pull him close, kissing him softly. Though we still get funny looks sometimes when we go out together, Edward's age has just never bothered me.

Smiling, he takes both of my hands in his. "Are you ready to see the rest of your surprise?"

"There's more?"

He nods, and I let him pull me up, leading me toward our bedroom. I stop in the doorway, staring at the numerous candles glowing and the rose petals covering our bed.

"So this is what you were doing instead of changing your clothes?" I ask with a grin, turning toward Edward, who nods sheepishly. "Pretty sure of yourself, weren't you, Cullen?"

"I had a hunch you might say yes," he winks.

"Always," I whisper, touching his chin gently as I kiss him.

He motions with his head toward the bed and I move to stand beside it, then get up on my tiptoes, winding my arms around his neck as I try to show how much I love him with my kiss. Edward's arms pull me close, moving down to squeeze my ass cheeks.

"How do I get you out of this dress?" he growls, and I turn around, lifting my hair out of the way so that he can unzip my sundress. "Are you not wearing a bra?"

Giggling, I pull the straps down my arms as I turn around, shaking my head. "I couldn't find one that wouldn't show… somewhere," I shrug.

"Fuck, if I'd known you weren't wearing a bra all day…"

"You'd what? Try to get lucky at the museum with all of our parents around?"

He grimaces and I laugh. "Maybe I just would've been hard all day," he replies, pulling me into his arms.

"Well, that would've been a waste." I lean up and we kiss hungrily, Edward's tongue tangling with mine. Needing to feel his skin, I fist his shirt, pushing up until he has to let go of my ass to raise his arms so I can pull it over his head.

I kiss Edward's chest, brushing my hands over his tanned skin. "Is that… a gray hair in your chest hair?" I exclaim.

"Shut up!" he laughs, and I smirk in response. I draw my hands down his abs to unbutton his pants, then pull down the zipper. I brush the back of my fingers over his fabric-covered cock and he moans.

"Get on the bed," he whispers.

Grinning hugely, I throw myself onto my back in the middle of our bed, then do a bit of a strip tease as I remove my panties. Edward finishes taking his khakis and boxers off, then crawls up the bed, spreading my legs.

"Fast or slow?" he asks with a twinkle in his eye.

"Ummm… can I have slow and then fast?"

He winks, slowly spreading my lower lips, before taking a long lick with that talented tongue of his. It's not long before I'm rethinking my choice — I have no idea how long he's planning to keep up this torturously slow pace.

I feel like I'm about to die before he finally lets his fingers join in, speeding up until I'm screaming his name in ecstasy.

"God, you always look smug when I scream your name," I pant.

Laughing, he lies down beside me, and I quickly attempt to make him pay for his torture by getting him all worked up with my hands and mouth. He's practically begging for it by the time I finally slide the head of his cock into my mouth.

I move my hand up and down in tandem with my mouth until instinct tells me it's time to pull away. I quickly climb over him, sliding down until he's buried inside me.

Leaning forward, I kiss him softly. "I love you," I whisper.

"I love you too, my wife-to-be."

* * *

Just a few weeks later, we officially become husband and wife. My mother offered to pay for our wedding — as long as we had some kind of society affair. Edward isn't into being the center of attention, and I couldn't care less about having a big church wedding.

Instead, we organize a Memorial Day Weekend trip to Las Vegas for all of our family and friends, before I start my full-time job at a consulting firm. Dad and Sue fly down for the wedding, and we invite the entire gang from my class, though Alice grumbles and grumbles about not being able to enjoy the free alcohol in the casinos.

Edward is aware of her pregnancy now, and he took it better than I had hoped, just asking if it was an accident or something planned. I watched him carefully when I told him that it was indeed an accident, but he didn't appear to be freaking out, thankfully.

I'm not even nervous when we arrive at the wedding chapel. Alice is standing up for me, while Emmett is Edward's best man. My husband-to-be looks beyond handsome in a dark blue suit, white shirt, and silver-and-blue-striped tie.

In my one nod to tradition, I did buy a sleeveless, knee-length, white lace dress for the occasion, but it's totally something that I can wear again. Fernando begged me to let him style my hair, and the elegant up-do looks better than I could have imagined.

The two of us say our vows in front of the officiant — thankfully _not_ an Elvis impersonator, or my mother would've had a heart attack. We exchange wedding rings and seal it with a slightly inappropriate kiss, and just like that, I am Mrs. Edward Cullen.

At our reception, I notice my mother chatting with Edward's parents. Despite living only a two-hour drive away, we really haven't seen that much of each other in the last four years. When she came to Tucson for a visit after my first year of college, Mom was a little shocked to see that Edward lived with me. Of course, he had a job by that point, making her opinion of him improve by leaps and bounds. At some point, she learned Edward's last name, but she doesn't seem to remember the Cullens or the murder case at all. For once, I'm _glad_ for my mother's flightiness.

Wearing the cheesiest grin on my face, I accept hugs and congratulations from everyone. As I take my new husband's hand and walk away from our family and friends, all I can think about are the next two nights shut up in the honeymoon suite with the hottest man alive.

I see a few streaks of gray in the hair on his temples now, which I love to tease him about, but he's just my Edward.

And he's the only man I'll ever need.

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you liked Part 1 of the Epilogue!

Quiz time! What did Edward do, unrelated to the lemon, that he never would've done three years earlier? Of course we saw in the lemon that he's now comfortable with Bella at least partially undressing him, and with a short blowjob.

Edward did finally tell Bella what happened to him in prison. She said that her theories were pretty much correct, but if you really need more than that, ask me something specific and I'll tell you.

Bella's ring: i71 dot photobucket dot com /albums/i135/Thecommitted/Links/ring dot jpg

Bella's wedding dress: i71 dot photobucket dot com /albums/i135/Thecommitted/Links/dress_front dot jpg

i71 dot photobucket dot com /albums/i135/Thecommitted/Links/dress_back dot jpg

* * *

Part 2 of the Epilogue should be up on **this weekend! No promises due to ongoing FF issues!**


	37. The Epilogue, Part 2

**Author Note:** Thanks for the awesome response to this story!

Lots of good guesses for the quiz in the previous chapter, though I was looking for something Bella hadn't specifically pointed out. The most popular guess was Edward using Google, which is also probably correct, ha! Only **SarcasticBimbo** got the right answer though, so congrats to her! I'll put the answer at the very bottom, in case some don't want to know, since it's tied to what happened in prison.

Thanks again to moosals and NKubie for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 37 — The Epilogue, Part 2_

_Four years later_

"Will you play with me?" Alice's mini-me, her adorable three-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Jasmine, pouts as she stares up at Edward.

"Uhhh… Why don't you ask your mommy? Or Aunt Bella?"

"I want play with _you_!"

"Why? I'm a boy. Aren't little girls supposed to think boys have cooties?"

"What's cooties?" she asks, her sweet face scrunching up. "I want you 'cause you're pretty."

At that charming toddler logic, both Alice and I dissolve into giggles, and Edward turns to glare at us.

"What do you want me to do?" he asks, sounding a bit defeated.

"You'll see." Jasmine smiles brightly, holding out her hand. He wraps his large hand around her tiny one, letting her lead him away from us.

Alice leans back in her lawn chair, patting her bulging stomach. Her second child — a boy this time — is due in two months. She's dreading being heavily pregnant over the hot Tucson summer.

It's like a baby explosion this year. Riley and Fernando, who got married after our junior year, adopted a 15-month-old boy last month. And besides Alice, Rosalie and Emmett are expecting their first child right around my birthday in September, though they're waiting until it's born to find out the sex.

When Jasmine was born, Edward came with me to visit the new family, but he wasn't interested in holding the baby at all. And he hasn't really warmed up to her since. He usually acts like he's afraid of her, so to see him accepting her request to play is unusual. Or maybe he was just tired of listening to our girl talk while Jasper is out picking up dinner.

Watching them across the yard, Jasmine seems to be forcing Edward to have some kind of tea party with her and her dollies. It's kind of sweet.

"Jesus!" Alice gasps, and I turn my head to look at her. "I swear to God, I'm growing a soccer player. Jazzy never kicked this much."

I chuckle at her exaggeration. "Can I feel it?"

"Sure," she smiles, guiding my hand to the right spot. Seconds later, the baby kicks again, and I can definitely feel it. It really is a little miracle.

"Any movement on the baby front with Edward?" Alice asks. While she doesn't know his whole story, she does know about his 18 years in prison — and that he doesn't want kids.

"None that I know of; we haven't discussed it."

Alice frowns, patting my hand. "Maybe one day."

"I don't know. I went into this relationship knowing that there was a chance he'd never change his mind. I've made peace with it."

"I don't get why he's so opposed to it though. He's absolutely adorable with Daisy. I think you guys would be great parents," Alice says.

"I think he's just scared," I reply quietly. Honestly, this is really the only area in which Edward is still letting his past get in the way of his future.

* * *

Later that night, after we've made love, Edward and I lie on our sides facing each other. He reaches up, brushing the back of his fingers over my cheek.

"If you want a baby, I won't stand in your way."

My eyes widen and I stare at Edward, unable to believe I've heard him right. "What?"

"I saw you this afternoon, with Alice. I can see that you envy her. I love you so much, and I want to make you happy. It's cheesy, but I want to give you everything your heart desires. Hanging out with Jasmine was ok — I didn't hate it. I think… I think maybe I can do it, I can be a father."

"No." I sit up, turning on the light so I can see him better.

"What do you mean, no?" he asks, brow furrowed.

"Nowhere in that statement did I hear that _you_ want to be a father, just that you want me to have a child and you think you could tolerate it.

"Did you forget that my mother abandoned me when I was two years old, because she couldn't handle being a mother? There is _no_ way I would ever risk doing that to a child."

"Bella, I love you more than my own life! I would never abandon you and our child," he protests.

"Maybe not physically, but emotionally would be just as bad. I will not deliberately bring a child into this world that isn't loved and cherished and _wanted_ by both of its parents. Unless you can tell me that you honestly want to be a father and don't just want this for me, then my answer is no." I stop, taking a deep breath. "Can you tell me that?"

Edward frowns, staring down at the rumpled sheets. "I can't tell you that," he finally whispers.

* * *

Two months later, Alice gives birth to her son, Alexander. This time when I stop by to visit and drop off casseroles for the family, Edward stays home.

As I hold the tiny baby in my arms, there's a little pang in my heart. I think I could be a good mom. And I think Edward could be an amazing father — but only if it's something he really wants.

* * *

On my 27th birthday, Rosalie gives birth to a beautiful little girl. Emmett suggests names that are take-offs of his own name, like Emma or Emily, but Rose insists on giving their daughter her own identity. They settle on naming her Sophia, a pretty name for a pretty girl.

Since Emmett and Edward are close, this time he does come along to their house when we visit, a few days after the birth. Rose is in the bedroom getting some much-needed rest, while Emmett refuses to put his baby daughter in her crib.

"I swear, man," Emmett says, "What am I supposed to do with a girl? A _girl_! I wanted a son to play ball with and stuff."

"Them's the breaks," Edward chuckles.

"Girls can play ball too, Emmett," I point out. "My dad taught me to play catch in the backyard. He tried to convince me to go fishing with him, but worms, eww. Instead, I learned to cook the fish he'd catch."

Sophia starts to cry, and Emmett chuckles, standing up with his daughter in his arms. "Looks like she's hungry again," he announces. "Here, hold her while I get her bottle." He holds the baby out to Edward, whose eyes widen. "She doesn't bite," Em chuckles. "Though she might poop on you."

Reluctantly, Edward holds his arms out, letting Emmett place the baby in them. He then takes off for the kitchen to warm up a bottle, since Rose isn't producing enough milk for more than a couple of feedings per day.

Seated next to Edward, I watch his brow furrow as he gazes down at the baby. Slowly, he brings one hand up, rubbing his index finger over her tiny fingers, and she grasps it tightly. "Hi there," he whispers, and I see that she's opened her big blue eyes. I scoot closer to him, brushing my hand over her light wisps of blonde hair.

He looks so good, so natural, holding a baby, but I don't dare tell him that — he needs to figure it out on his own.

When Emmett returns, instead of taking his daughter back, he holds the bottle out to Edward. "Do you want to give it to her? My arm needs a break." I stifle my laughter at his blatant lie.

Edward takes the bottle, touching the nipple to Sophia's lips. Within seconds she opens her mouth and starts sucking.

"Kid has my appetite," her father says proudly, retaking his seat in the recliner.

I reach my hand up, rubbing the back of Edward's neck so it doesn't get stiff as he leans forward, feeding the baby. He turns his head to smile at me.

"She's really a miracle," he says quietly.

"She is," I agree.

When Sophia has finished her bottle, I take her from Edward, since I'm sure he has no idea how to burp a baby. As I pat her back, I whisper softly to her how beautiful she is, even if she can't understand me yet. I notice a peculiar look on Edward's face as he watches me.

* * *

A week later as I'm going through my nightly routine in the bathroom, Edward comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and nuzzling my neck. "Let's talk," he suggests quietly. I'd be worried about those two words if he didn't seem completely relaxed.

I follow him back into our bedroom, and as we sit on the bed, he takes my hands in his. "I want it."

My brow furrows for a moment. He couldn't mean _that_, could he? "Want what?"

"I want what Emmett has. I want to be a father."

I stare into his eyes, looking for any touch of uncertainty, but I see none. Still… "You're really sure?" I question.

"Yes," he nods. "So… can we try? I don't think I'd want to wait much longer; I'm already 45."

"I'll need to make an appointment with my doctor to get the implant removed, but as soon as I've done that, we can try." Since about a year after we came to Tucson, I've used the birth control implant, once the shot I got at the Campus Health clinic wore off. I've had my third one for just over a year now.

"Do it," he smiles.

It takes me two days to get in to see my doctor. After just a few minutes, the implant is out.

I pick up take-out from our favorite restaurant on the way home, then set out some candles, planning a romantic night with my husband.

And once we've finished eating, I lead him toward the bedroom. "Let's go make a baby," I whisper.

* * *

Edward and I are hosting Thanksgiving dinner for his parents, my mom and Phil, and Emmett and Rose at our house. I get up early to stuff the turkey and put it in the oven. A few hours later, I head back into the kitchen to start on the side dishes and baste the turkey. I open the oven door and—

My hand over my mouth, I run for the nearest bathroom, nearly tripping over our nosy cat who must have smelled the turkey. I lose my breakfast, heaving and coughing. I've just flushed the toilet when Edward steps into the bathroom behind me, staring down at me still on my knees.

"I don't know what came over me," I rasp. "I got a whiff of the turkey cooking in the oven, and I just…"

My eyes widen as the possible reason hits me over the head — morning sickness.

I am one of the one-third of women whose periods stopped completely within a year of getting the birth control implant. Since they haven't yet returned, I don't have that traditional indicator that our attempts to get pregnant have been successful.

I glance up at Edward and his eyes are just as wide. "Do you think we can find a grocery store or pharmacy open on Thanksgiving?" he asks.

"I don't have time to run out and look," I fret. "We have guests coming in an hour."

"I'll go."

And so while I'm brushing my teeth and drinking some water, Edward takes off to find somewhere to buy a pregnancy test. On Thanksgiving.

I again attempt to baste the turkey, and I'm successful this time. I put the water on to boil for the potatoes, and I've just got them in the water when Edward comes back.

"On my third try, I found somewhere open," he announces, holding up the plastic bag. We head into our bedroom, and once again I have to bar him from following me into the bathroom until I've peed on the stick.

I set the timer on my phone and let him in, stepping into his arms in a move that's so similar to the first time we did this, seven and a half years ago.

Only this time, we're both hoping for a different result.

When the timer goes off, Edward again picks up the stick, and I watch his face carefully. He swallows thickly and then a huge smile takes over his face as he turns it so I can see.

There are two lines.

* * *

We decide not to tell the parents immediately, given that we have no idea exactly how far along I am. Instead we tell them all at Christmas, buying each of them a coffee mug saying World's Best Grandma or Grandpa.

When Edward's parents start crying, _I_ start crying. Esme hugs me tightly, telling me over and over again that this is the best gift she could ever receive. Since both she and Carlisle are retired now, they offer to babysit anytime we need.

* * *

A few weeks after Valentine's Day is the big doctor's appointment where we'll try to find out the sex of the baby. No putting it off to be a surprise like Emmett and Rose did; we need to know so that Esme can decorate the nursery for us.

Edward is holding tightly to my hand as the technician begins moving the wand over my stomach and the image on the screen flickers to life. We both stare in amazement at the image of our baby.

Once she's finished taking all of the measurements, she turns to us with a smile. "Do you want to know the sex?"

We both nod eagerly and she points to a spot on the screen. "It's a boy."

* * *

Shortly after noon on the Fourth of July, Evan Anthony Cullen is born, weighing a whopping eight pounds. We bring our son home from the hospital two days later.

I'm taking a well-deserved nap in our bed when I hear the already unmistakable sound of my baby's cry. When I open my eyes, I see Edward sitting in the rocking chair, holding his son up to his shoulder, and I smile involuntarily. He looks just as amazing holding his child as I always imagined he would.

"We need to let Mommy sleep, ok?" he whispers. "Just a little longer, then you can have her, Little Man." He rubs Evan's back, kissing his cheek, and I nearly melt.

When the baby wails again, Edward looks over to me, seeing that I'm awake. I sit up, opening my nursing gown and bra, and he carries our son over to me. As Evan settles in against my breast, Edward sits on the bed, wrapping his arm around me.

"Does that hurt?" he asks quietly, nodding toward where Evan is feeding.

"It's not the most comfortable feeling in the world," I admit. "Much better when you do it."

He smirks, leaning over to kiss me gently. "Thank you, Bella," he whispers.

"For what?"

"For this incredible gift. Now that Evan is here, I can't imagine not getting to experience this. I already love him so much."

"I always knew you'd be a fantastic father."

"I didn't, but… I'm glad that you let me figure it out in my own time. I may not be a doctor, but I've got a better life than I ever dreamed of — thanks to you. I have no idea why you took the chance on me nine years ago, but I'll be forever grateful that you did."

"You deserved a second chance at life, Edward — more than anyone else I've ever met."

He smiles gently, reaching over to brush his hand over his son's head. He's completely bald, so at this point I have no idea if he'll end up with his father's hair or my darker hair. His features look like a carbon copy of his father as a baby, so I'm hoping for the former.

"My family," he whispers, kissing me tenderly.

We're both startled when Daisy suddenly jumps up onto the bed, walking across our legs to sniff at the newcomer. Then she sits back, looking at both of us expectantly.

"Sorry, Daisy," Edward chuckles. "You're part of the family, too."

*** THE END ***

* * *

**A/N:** And… Daisy gets the last word!

I know some of you wanted them to remain childless, so there was no way I could make all of you happy! Hope you all enjoyed it anyway!

That's all for this one! Amazing that I had no plans to write a continuation of the one-shot and still ended up with 110,000 words.

* * *

I'll have a new story that'll start posting on or after September 15, so put me on Author Alert if you haven't already! Other than the very beginning, the rest of the story won't be posted until sometime in October, due to my two-week vacation. Also, I only have 43,000 words written so far, and I'd like to get more pre-written.

Scroll down for last chapter's quiz answer.

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Edward got down on his knees in front of Bella when he proposed.


	38. The Future Take

**Author Note:** Thanks to all of you who've enjoyed this story! On the day I posted the second Epilogue, I got a vision in my head of a future for Edward and Bella, while I was making dinner.

All but a handful of you were happy to see them become parents. Those who weren't all reviewed as Guests so I couldn't reply. I will say that it's over seven years from Chapter 34 to 37, and Edward could do a lot of healing during that time. It's not like he'd never wanted kids when he was younger; he just thought he wouldn't be able to do it because of his prison time.

Thanks again to moosals pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

_Chapter 38 — Future Take_

_January 2025 (Evan is six months old)_

"Come on, buddy, open up."

I smile as I watch Edward trying to feed Evan from the jar of baby food. Since he started on solid foods about a month ago, Edward has wanted to be the one to feed our son, whenever possible. I think he felt a little out of the loop when I was breastfeeding exclusively.

Evan seems to have grown from a helpless newborn to an infant so quickly. He can sit up on his own, and he's got a light dusting of blond hair now, just like his father did at that age. I'm sure he'll be crawling in no time.

Suddenly there's a flash of movement and a thump as Daisy lands on the table. "No, Daisy!" I call, but she completely ignores me, stepping onto the small table attached to Evan's high chair.

"Daisy, no," Edward chastises her as she sniffs at Evan. His adorable baby giggles mean Edward isn't actually going to remove Daisy from where she knows she's not supposed to be. But when she tries to lick Evan's face, Edward finally sets down the tiny spoon and puts her on the floor.

I just shake my head as Daisy sits back on her haunches, right next to the high chair. "You don't even _like_ peas, Daisy."

I was little worried that our cat may be jealous of the new baby, but instead, she adores him and always wants to be wherever Evan is. We had to ban her from our bedroom as long as his bassinet was in there, as she kept trying to jump up there to sleep with him.

Since he started on solid foods, she's been his very best friend. It didn't take long for her to notice that his chubby face usually ends up covered in his meal, or that at least one drop of nasty-looking pureed food will hit the floor.

I watch Edward feeding the baby until my phone dings with a new email. Getting up to grab it, I check the new message.

"So Sue is planning a big 50th birthday party for my dad next month," I relate to Edward.

"Do you want to go?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, he's my _dad_. And he hasn't seen Evan since he came down for Thanksgiving."

"You'd take Evan?" Edward asks, turning to look at me.

"Of course I would! He's still breastfeeding twice a day, anyway, so I have no choice."

"But… I don't want to be away from him for several days. Or you," he adds, just in time to prevent my frown at being left out. It's not like I haven't left him before though, for previous trips to Forks.

"You could come with me," I suggest, then hold my breath. Edward has still never accompanied me on any trips back to Forks, so I've always kept them pretty short. It's time though; he's been out of prison nearly 10 years.

"I-I guess I could," he replies softly.

* * *

Dad's birthday is just before Valentine's Day. Edward and I decide to take a week's vacation, spending a few days in Forks for the party, then visiting Seattle, where Angela and Ben now live. Edward used to go there with his parents when he was growing up, since his grandparents lived there, but I can only remember a day trip with my dad for my 12th birthday.

We leave Daisy with Riley, Fernando, Nahuel — their three-year-old son — and Abby, the new cat they got a few years back after Jessie died at the ripe old age of 20. I'm sure she'll have a blast.

After landing at SeaTac, we pick up our rental car, then start the long drive to Forks. Evan's previous longest car trip was to Phoenix to see my mom, so I'm a bit worried, but he pretty much sleeps the entire way, thankfully. He's actually a really good baby.

Even after more than seven years, it's still weird to step into my dad's house and smell a home-cooked meal — that I didn't cook. My stepmom, Sue, is a great cook; Dad has put on a few pounds since their marriage. I would say maybe that's just what happens to middle-aged guys, but Edward is still lean. Of course, he also still gets plenty of exercise.

"Where's my grandson?" Dad yells, taking Evan's carrier from Edward.

"Charlie," he nods. "Good timing — he needs his diaper changed."

"Uhh…"

Rolling my eyes, I take the carrier back then head upstairs to change him on my old bed. Dad offered to let us stay here, but yeah… that wouldn't be awkward or anything if Dad and Sue overhear us having sex. Or worse, if I overhear _them_. We booked a motel instead.

* * *

The next morning, Edward and I sleep in then decide to walk the couple of blocks to the diner for brunch. He puts on a beanie hat covering his hair, claiming it's due to the light snow falling, but I'm not convinced that he's not just trying to be incognito.

The very same table where we had our big coming out nine and a half years ago is open, so we head to the back corner, then Edward carefully unwraps all of the blankets from Evan's car seat.

"Hey, do you guys need a high chair?" a waitress calls. I look up, stunned to see my old friend from high school, Jessica Stanley — well, _Newton_, after she apparently married my old prom date five years ago. "Bella?!" she calls out in surprise.

"Hi, Jess," I greet her with a small smile. "Um, this is my husband, Edward, and our son, Evan."

"Oh my God, how cute!" she squeals, waving at Evan, whom Edward is holding on his lap. "Let me go get that high chair."

Jessica is back in about 20 seconds, setting the high chair at the end of our table. Edward stands up to get the baby situated as we both give Jessica our orders. I take a couple of Evan's favorite toys out of the diaper bag, hoping he'll keep himself occupied.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" I ask once Jessica has stepped away.

"I was kinda upstaged by our son, but I'll take it," he winks.

After lunch, we bundle up and walk over to the Forks bowling alley, where the party is being held. Dad's best friend, Billy, greets me with a hug, and I watch the baby while Edward helps decorate with signs and balloons.

Dad just thinks he's getting together with some of his friends from the res, so he's completely surprised when he walks in to find a full house.

"Did you know about this last night, Isabella?" Dad accuses, taking Evan from me.

"Of course," I reply with a wink. Dad shows off his grandson to all of his friends, then we form into teams. Edward and I play with Dad and Sue, and I apologize up front that it'll likely be my fault that we lose. Edward is a pretty decent bowler, having occasionally played with Emmett and some of the other guys who work with them.

I'm pleased that Dad's buddies and the guys on the force seem friendly enough to Edward. Some of the younger deputies might not even remember the murder case, though I'm sure their parents do. But the story seems to have faded from everyone's consciousness, thank goodness.

When the tournament is over, we all share the bowling alley's greasy pizza, then Sue brings out the birthday cake. At 7pm, they open to regular customers, and a large group decides to go to the only bar in town to continue the party.

Evan has been sleeping on and off in his car seat all afternoon, but he's definitely ready to be put down for a real nap. I encourage Edward to go with the guys if he wants to, but he chooses to come back to the motel with me. In Tucson, he has no problem going out without me, but Forks is a different story, I guess.

Once I've fed Evan and put him down for the night, Edward wraps his arms around me from behind, dropping sensual kisses on the right side of the neck.

"Bella," he whispers. "Come to bed with me." He licks my ear, and I'm like putty in his hands, letting him lead me over to the bed. I lie back and he climbs on top of me, kissing me over and over again. When he reaches for my shirt, I snap out of my stupor long enough to remember what I've forgotten to bring.

"Wait," I mumble, and he stops immediately, staring down at me, his brow furrowed. "I, um, sort of forgot to pack my birth control pills. I was just starting a new pack, and…" I trail off, shrugging.

Before I got the all clear from my doctor to resume having sex after Evan's birth, Edward and I talked about whether or not we may want to have another child one day, and what that would mean with regard to the various birth control options.

The hormonal implant, which I'd been using for years, is really a long-term option, good for three years unless it's removed. If I'd chosen to get the shot and we then decided to have another baby, it could take several months for fertility to return once I stop. So I chose to go back to birth control pills, so that I can stop taking them at any time we may be ready.

Edward sits back on his heels, pulling me up with him, then wraps his arms around me. "You already made me the happiest man alive when you gave me a son, but… I-I think I'd like to have another child. You and I were both only children, and I don't want that for Evan. I want him to have a sibling who can be his lifelong friend."

"Evan's only seven months old though…"

"And if you get pregnant today, he'll be 16 months when the new baby is born." He makes a good point; a new baby won't be here instantaneously. "What do you think, baby?"

"I think," I begin, twining my arms around his neck, "That you should take my clothes off now."

* * *

"Titty!" our 16-month-old son yells, chasing after Daisy, who wisely hides behind the couch.

"Hey, buddy," Edward says, scooping him up. "What did we tell you? Daisy loves you and is very tolerant, but when she's done playing, you need to leave her alone, ok?"

"Titty!" he yells again, making Edward giggle.

"If only you could also calmly explain to our son how to properly pronounce 'kitty' instead of giggling every time he tries," I complain. Seriously, are all guys still 12 years old at heart?

"There's no harm in it, Bella," he chuckles, poking Evan's tummy to make him giggle again.

"Yeah, until he says that in front of stranger who decides to call Child Protective Services on us." I shake my head.

Edward just laughs at me. "They'll probably just think he's hungry," he says, waggling his eyebrows. "Or, I mean, you do have pretty spectacular tittles."

I scowl, but he just smirks as he plants a kiss on my lips. Of course they're spectacular right now — I'm pregnant.

I didn't conceive in Forks; it took almost five months of trying — unlike last time, when we got pregnant on our first try. I'm 20 weeks now, and tomorrow is our doctor's appointment to find out if Evan will have a brother or sister. Both Edward and I are hoping for a girl this time. Me, because I'd like one of each, and him, because he says he wants a little girl who looks just like me. After all, I got the mini-Edward I wanted. Evan couldn't possibly look more like his father at the same age; his hair already has a life of its own.

Edward and Evan accompany me to my appointment. While the technician does her thing, Edward holds our son, who can't stop staring at the image on the screen. We've told him that he's going to have a little brother or sister, but all he seems to notice is that there's less room on my lap now.

"Well, Evan, it looks like you're going to have a baby sister," she says excitedly. I look up at my husband, who smiles at me, then leans down to peck my lips.

As I get ready for bed later that evening, I change into a sexy babydoll nightie, hoping to avoid a repeat of what happened with my first pregnancy. Once he saw the clear image and learned we were having a boy, Edward got a bit freaked out about having sex with me — it had all become a real thing to him, not just a concept. Here I was wanting him more than ever, and my husband would barely touch me! I finally seduced him one night and he got over his issues.

Stepping out of the bathroom, I stare at Edward's figure on the bed. He's only wearing boxers and his very sexy reading glasses as he sits up, leaning against the pillows, watching one of the late night shows on TV. Despite — or maybe because of — the ever-increasing gray in his hair, he continues to get even sexier.

Edward turns to watch me as I near the bed, planting myself so I'm straddling his lap. He sets his glasses on the nightstand then raises one eyebrow. "Can I help you?" he asks with a smirk.

I twine my arms around his neck, leaning in to kiss him softly. "Are you happy?" I ask quietly. "You're getting your girl."

"I'm very happy," he confirms. "Happier than I ever thought possible."

I kiss him again, then begin sliding myself back and forth over his cock until I feel him hardening beneath me. Edward's hands are wandering over every inch of me he can reach and I want him so badly. I don't protest at all when he starts lifting my nightie over my head.

"So sexy," he growls. "I love your body when you're pregnant. Take these off," he orders, brushing one finger along the top of my panties.

Climbing off of him, I happily oblige, then wait for him to remove his boxers. Only he doesn't move.

"Edward?"

Still not saying a word, he scoots down on the bed until he's flat on his back, then looks over at me. "You can do it," he whispers. "Just go slow."

I stare at him for a long moment. It's his last limit, letting me fully remove his underwear. I haven't even made a move to _try_ in the years since he began letting me open his jeans and pull his cock out of the convenient hole. A part of me wants to ask him if he's sure, but I know by now that he wouldn't offer if he wasn't sure.

And so I slowly bring my hands to the waistband of his boxers. He lifts his hips slightly and I pull them down, maintaining eye contact as I keep it very slow until they're near his knees. Climbing back over him, I position his cock and slide down, unable to help my low moan.

I ride him leisurely, loving the feel of his hands on my skin and his mouth on my breasts. It's quite amusing how much he loves my larger breasts; I never knew he was _such_ a boob man.

As he gets closer, Edward begins thrusting up into me, hitting exactly where I need him. I cry out my orgasm, startled when he sits up, moving me the way he needs until he's following behind me. He leans his forehead against mine, his beautiful green eyes staring into mine.

He looks almost… triumphant, and I can't help the smile that spreads across my lips as I'm overcome with love and pride for him.

* * *

We're celebrating the 11th anniversary of Edward's re-birthday with his parents when my water breaks, two weeks early. Leaving Evan in his grandparents' capable hands, Edward hurriedly packs a bag for me and drives me to the hospital.

I was in labor for nearly 20 hours with Evan, but our little girl wants to make sure she's born on this already momentous day, making her debut a mere five hours later, at 11:44pm. Also unlike her brother, she's got thick dark hair already.

"So what are you going to name her?" my mom asks, as our families crowd into the room the next morning.

"Well, Edward wanted an Isabella Junior, but I vetoed that one," I chuckle tiredly, holding my baby girl in my arms. I look up at Edward, who's sitting beside me, nodding at him to tell them.

"Her name is Faith," he announces.

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you liked it! :)

This story has been nominated for the Top 10 Completed Fics for September 2015 on TwiFanfictionRecs! If you enjoyed it, I'd appreciate your vote!


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